Chapter 42
CHAPTER 42
Rainey
It’s been just over a month since Brody and I started sleeping together. I can honestly say I’ve never had better sex in my entire life. With Brody, no matter how many times we’ve done it—which is so many I’ve lost count—it keeps getting better and better. I never knew sex could be so fulfilling…so consuming . I want to kick myself daily for waiting so long to do this with him.
“Whatcha thinking about, Lorraine?” Devyn asks.
I peel my eyes away from Brody’s ass. “Nothing specific.”
“Really? I could’ve sworn you were picturing Brody naked just now.”
I blush. “It’s not my fault he’s so pretty.”
She laughs. “Are you sure that’s the only reason?”
Brody and I have still been able to maintain our secrecy—Devyn excluded—but it’s becoming increasingly difficult.
“I feel out of control, Dev. ”
“How so?”
“I want him all the time ,” I say in a hushed tone. The boys are walking quite a few steps ahead of us, but you can never be too careful having this conversation in public, especially in a place packed with children. “Like, it’s all I seem to think about anymore. And he’s exactly the same way. When we’re apart, we’re constantly sexting, and when we’re alone together, we shed our clothes within minutes. It’s like we’re both crawling out of our skin to get to each other, and we can’t function until we squeeze an orgasm or two out of each other. That can’t possibly be normal. Right?”
She quirks her head to the side. “Interesting.”
“What do you mean, ‘ interesting ?’”
“Are you sure you don’t have stronger feelings for him than you’re willing to admit?”
I sigh. “I like him a lot. I always have, deep down, even when he was being a complete jackass and irritating the shit out of me. He’s fun . And we’re obviously compatible in bed, but that’s the extent of it.”
She raises her eyebrows. “I don’t think that’s true, Lorraine.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’m obviously not some sex expert since I’ve only been with two men, but I do know the difference between sleeping with someone and sleeping with the one . I loved Jackson, you know I did, but being intimate with Riley is and always has been on a whole other level. It’s sacred , almost, even when it’s really, really dirty.” I smile when her face turns beet red at that last set of words. “With Nathan around, we can’t exactly do it whenever we want, but the want is definitely there.”
“Honey, I appreciate what you’re saying, but Brody is not the one . ”
She takes a bite of her elephant ear. Damn, I really should’ve bought one of those . “I know you don’t like bringing this up, but let me ask you this. You loved Adam, despite how it ended, and you always said sex with him was fantastic. Now, think about that, and then think about how you’ve been feeling over the last few weeks with Brody.”
I gnaw on my thumb, not liking where she’s going with this. “Okay…and?”
“The missing factor between the two is the connection —an ineffable bond that transcends reason. It just is .”
I grin as Brody swings Nathan in a circle before planting him on his shoulders. I’m pretty sure he enjoys being at the zoo more than the kid does.
“Devyn, even if I wanted to actually date him, it would be pointless. He’s not a long-term relationship kind of guy.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Have you ever seen him date a woman more than a few weeks?”
“No,” she says with a shrug. “But I could’ve said the same thing about Riley.”
Nathan squeals when he spots the carousel up ahead. Brody jogs over to us with Nathan bobbing on his shoulders.
“Mommy, Aunt Wainey! I’m gonna go on the horsies!”
Brody gives me a goofy grin. “Yeah, Aunt Rainey , I’m gonna go on the horsies, too!”
Nathan reaches for Devyn so Brody offloads him, handing him over.
“Aren’t you a little big for the horsies?” I smirk.
“ I’ll show you big , baby,” he jokes right before he palms the back of my neck and pulls me into a kiss.
In front of everyone.
I freeze. Brody must sense the tension in my body because he pulls back quickly and immediately looks behind him to see if Drew and Riley witnessed his slip up. Of course they did. I don’t think their jaws would be unhinged otherwise. His eyes return to mine, apologetic, but a little too late. I instantly go into damage control.
“Whoa, there, buddy,” I say, holding my hands up to push him off. “Ever heard of something called personal space?”
Do you see the look on his face? That minuscule, but awful twist of his lips? The crinkle between his eyebrows? The hard set of his jaw? That’s one-hundred-percent, unfiltered hurt. It’s only there for a second or two, but it’s unmistakable.
And it makes me feel like an absolute piece of shit for causing it.
Brody clears his throat and laughs. “Sorry, babe. You can’t blame a guy for trying.”
I smack his arm with the back of my hand. “Keep your lips to yourself next time.” I move closer to Nate and ruffle his hair. “C’mon, big guy, let’s go find you the best-looking horse on the carousel.”
Poor Devyn looks like she wants to run away. That girl has never been good with confrontation.
She clears her throat. “Brody, you coming?”
He rubs his neck and glances at his really confused-looking friends before returning his gaze to mine. “Uh…I need to hit the head first. I’ll meet you there in a few.” Before any of us can say another word, he ducks around us and disappears inside the nearby men’s room.
Needless to say, the rest of our zoo excursion is tense.