5. Portia #2
He nods along as our server arrives with our food. He’s ordered a ribeye that looks juicy enough it might still be alive while I’ve gone with the beef tenderloin and garlic mashed potatoes and roasted asparagus.
“Well, whatever made you have dinner with me tonight, I’m grateful. It’s always good to be in the company of a beautiful woman, but even better when you’re that beautiful woman. Salute.”
We clink our wine glasses together and gradually dig into our meal. The rest of the restaurant buzzes around us, full of other patrons on romantic dates and nights out in the nation’s capital.
“So,” I ask, half amused, between a bite of tenderloin, “Is it true there’s no new woman in your life?”
“New woman? Is that a joke, dolcezza?”
“What? I’m allowed to ask! I’m just curious.”
“Answer your own question. Are you seeing anybody?”
“I asked you first,” I say, arching a brow. I pluck my wine glass off the table and take a longer sip than necessary. “Tell me, who is the woman with billionaire businessman Rafael Calderone’s interest?”
“Three guesses, dolcezza. Go ahead and give it a shot. See if you can figure out who she is. Something tells me you already know her.”
I bite away the smile on my lips, though it doesn’t work. It’s obvious his words have put a dent in my armor.
“Then to answer your question, there isn’t anyone either,” I say. “The last guy—you might know him—hurt me a little too much. It made me realize I needed to take a step back from dating.”
Rafael reaches across the table, his hand touching mine. I go still as our eyes connect, and it feels like time moves but we’re frozen in the moment. We’re lost in each other as the rest of the world carries on, clueless of the charge in the air.
It’s the first real time Rafael’s touched me in months.
I ignore how he instantly makes my insides flutter, though it’s difficult looking him in the eye. He stares at me like he sees right through me, recognizing every hidden part of me I’ve kept away from others.
But Rafael Calderone knows better; he can’t be fooled so easily.
He sees all parts of me and it makes him desire me even more…
“If there’s one thing you ever believe about our time together, Portia,” he says, “it’s that it was real. I never set out to hurt you. But I would rather give you up if it meant saving you. If it was what I thought was in your best interest.”
I… believe him.
That’s the scariest part.
Looking him in the eye, listening to the sincerity in his voice, I know deep down in my core that he’s being real with me. He means every word he says.
He broke up with me because he truly believed it was for the best.
It’s the why that’s still missing. The big question that weighs on my mind and serves as the invisible elephant on the restaurant floor.
“Have you ever thought, Rafael, that you don’t get to decide what’s best for me?” I ask quietly, sliding my hand from his. “That I should get to decide that for myself?”
“Of course, dolcezza. But in case you haven’t realized, if it’s a matter of your safety, then I don’t give a fuck what you decide,” he says bluntly. “I’m going to make sure you’re safe regardless. Because that’s my job as your…”
My eyes widen slightly, taken aback by his slip up. “My what, Rafael?”
“You heard me. It’s my job to ensure you’re safe. That everything in your world goes as it should. A job I take seriously.”
“You don’t have to…” I mutter. “You don’t have to do those things…”
“I know I don’t have to. But guess what, dolcezza?
I do them because I want to. Because you’re important to me, and because I care about you.
” He pins me with his intense, dark stare, and I find myself suddenly breathless.
“I will always care about you, Portia. Even if I never get to have you again.”
If I wasn’t caught up in old feelings between us before, I damn sure am now.
I’m having trouble gathering a new breath into my lungs. My cheeks are hot, the rest of my skin flushed.
It’s more than the wine. It’s the residual feelings that linger between us and have only grown stronger since this dinner at Sullivans began.
Any thoughts about my investigation fall by the wayside. I can’t bring myself to give a fuck about them when I’m here enjoying dinner with a man I had very real, very intense feelings for. Regardless of who he might be affiliated with or where he got his start in Italy.
Somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind, I know what comes after; eventually I am going to have to return to these things and find answers for the many questions piling up.
But in the moment as Rafael and I cut into our steaks and sip our wine, I decide to let it go.
For now, for tonight, we’re two exes enjoying each other’s company. The rest can wait ’til tomorrow.
When we leave Sullivans and he offers to give me a ride back to my place, I’m so overcome I’m not ready for the night to end. He’s not either, his eyelids low and his hands hovering on my waist as I lean closer into him.
“Where are you staying?” I ask. “Maybe we can go back to your hotel for a drink or two.”
The insinuation is clear. The energy between us is thick and unmistakable.
He pulls me closer, his hand slipping lower down my back, toward my ass. “I’m at the Echelon Hotel a few blocks away. My driver can have us there in five minutes.”
A small smile teases my lips as I let my hands slide up his chest. “Sounds great.”