Chapter 12 #2
Saint shook his head. “He’s right. I don’t deserve to be here.”
“Save me from stubborn assholes,” Ace said, shaking his head.
He met Saint’s gaze, his expression brooking no argument.
“Now, you listen to me, Cavallero. What happened was not your fault. We all know that, and deep down, so does King. He’s not himself right now. Just give him time. He’ll come around.”
Saint opened his mouth to argue, but Ace put a hand up.
“This isn’t up for debate. I’ll extend your paid leave, okay? We’ll keep you updated on how Leo’s doing, but for now, take care of yourself.” Ace looked up at Val. “Can you keep an eye on him?”
“Of course.”
“I’m sorry, Saint.” Ace squeezed Saint’s shoulder, his eyes glassy. “I really am. No one should be in this position.”
Saint nodded. He stood and headed out with Val at his side. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to run into King outside or not, but he was glad he didn’t. What could he possibly say that would alleviate any of King’s pain right now? Nothing.
In the parking lot, Saint reached for the door handle but stopped. “I’m going to stay at mine tonight.”
Val walked around the front of the car and took Saint’s hand. “Please, don’t pull away. You shouldn’t be on your own right now. None of us should be.”
“I know, I just…I need some time alone.”
“Saint….”
“Please.” Saint’s voice broke, and he cleared his throat. “I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Val was clearly reluctant, but he released Saint. “Okay. Please, be careful, and if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
“Thanks.” Saint kissed Val’s cheek, then headed back to order himself a ride. Just when the car arrived and Saint got in, someone else climbed into the backseat next to him. “What the hell?”
“Hey, Bestie,” Ryden said, smiling wide. “Where are we going?” He buckled his seatbelt, and Saint frowned.
“What are you doing here? Go back inside.”
“I don’t think so. The guys have this covered. I’m here for you.”
“Val called you, didn’t he? What are you, my chaperone?”
Ryden side-eyed him. “Do I need to be?”
“Ready to go?” The driver asked, looking between Ryden and Saint.
“Yeah, fine. There’s no getting rid of him,” Saint grumbled.
“That’s right,” Ryden said. “I’m like one of those lovebugs. Once I’m on your ass, I don’t let go.”
Saint stared at his friend. “That’s disturbing.”
“No less true. Where are we off to?”
“A bar.”
Ryden nodded but didn’t say anything, which Saint appreciated.
Right now, he just needed some time away from everything.
Fuck, why, when he thought he was finally getting his shit together, did his life unravel into a hot mess?
He stared out the window as the car drove toward St. Augustine’s Historic Downtown, where even on a weekday, the bars and restaurants would be filled with tourists and locals.
He could get lost in the crowd and have a few drinks.
A few drinks somehow turned into several. At least for him. His best friend was suspiciously sober. Was Ryden even drinking alcohol? Had he ordered any alcohol? Not that it mattered. Saint was the one who didn’t know which way was up.
Saint leaned an elbow on the bar. They’d taken a seat at the end because even though the place was super busy, Saint wanted to be away from people. Maybe a bar in the Historic District at this time of night wasn’t the best place to get away from people.
“What am I doing?” he asked Ryden.
“You mean other than getting shitfaced? I don’t know. What are you doing?”
“I’m asking you.”
“If you don’t know, how am I supposed to know?”
“You’re no help.”
Ryden chuckled. “Okay, how about we start with what you’re referring to? What are you doing about what?”
“Everything. My life. I tried dating, you know. That was a fucking disaster. I thought, maybe I just haven’t met the right girl. I never even considered that maybe I just hadn’t met the right guy.”
“Or maybe you had met the right guy, and that’s why none of those dates worked out.”
Saint gasped. “Holy shit. You’re right.” Why hadn’t he thought of that? Wait, hadn’t he just thought that?
“See. I’m not just a pretty face.”
“You do have a pretty face,” Saint agreed. “Jay is prettier, though.”
“Um, what?”
“Jay. He’s pretty. Well, he’s cute. I always thought so.
With his perfectly coordinated outfits and those cute little bow ties.
And his lips. You ever notice how full his lips are or how soft his hair looks, and why are you glaring at me?
” Saint reached out to poke the crease on Ryden’s forehead, but Ryden moved his hand away. Rude.
“Why are you talking about Jay?”
“I’m not talking about Jay. You’re the one who likes him.” Saint put a finger to his lips. “Sorry, is that a secret?”
“What is happening right now? We’re not here to talk about me. We’re here to talk about you.”
“I think I might love him,” Saint murmured, staring down at his glass and frowning. “There’s no mint in my drink.” What the hell? “I’m mint-less.”
“You’re something all right. You don’t get mint with brandy.”
“Brandy? Why the fuck am I drinking brandy? I don’t even like brandy.”
“You ordered it,” Ryden said.
Saint took a sip of his drink and cringed. Gross. “Brandy,” he snickered. “Like the song. It’s a sad song, isn’t it? I mean, she loves this sailor, and he can’t be with her because he loves the sea more, and oh my god, that’s why my marriage fell apart.”
“ Ooookay , I’m just going to take that glass from you, buddy.” Ryden reached over and took Saint’s drink.
“I don’t like it anyway,” Saint said. “There’s no mint.”
“Have some water.”
Saint took a sip from the bottle Ryden handed him and cringed. “Ugh, it doesn’t taste like anything.”
“Because it’s water.”
“Can I get mint in my water?”
Ryden hung his head and laughed. “Sure.”
“I think…I think I’m falling in love with him,” Saint said. Or at least he thought he said it. What time was it? Val. Oh. Val was home, all alone. Saint had left him alone.
“You think you’re falling in love with him?”
Saint sighed heavily. “I know.”
“Pretty sure he feels the same way, so what’s the problem?”
“That night at Sapphire Sands, he was there. He asked me if I would introduce him to my family as my boyfriend.”
“And you said…?”
“Nothing. I said nothing.”
“Which said it all.”
“Yeah.”
“You’re afraid of what your family will do?”
“I mean, it’s not like I don’t have gay cousins and stuff, and my parents accept them and love them.”
“But you think it will be different because you’re their son.”
Saint leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. “When did you get so smart?”
“I don’t know whether to be touched or offended.” Ryden shook his head. “I wish I had the magic answer for you, my friend. I really do. But this is a decision only you can make. What I can say is that with a guy like Val, you’re either all in or all out.”
“I know.” And Saint did.
A decision was looming, and Ryden was absolutely right. Saint had to decide whether he was all in or all out. How much was he willing to sacrifice to have a future with Val? Did Val even want a future with him? Saint sure as hell hoped so.
There was only one way to find out.