Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Y ou can do this .
Saint took a deep breath and stood on the sidewalk in front of his parents’ house.
The house was a cheerful blue with white accents and a gray roof.
His mother loved bright colors, and both his parents loved to garden, which was why his parents’ front yard resembled a small botanical garden.
There were all kinds of native Florida flowers, plants, and palms. The lawn was always a perfect lush green, and the hedges around the house were expertly trimmed.
He’d walked down this pathway countless times, yet today, it was almost like he was seeing it for the first time.
So much had changed since he’d last visited his parents, and he felt guilty for not having come sooner.
Walking up to the front door, he knocked and then used his key to let himself in.
Usually, he called or texted ahead, but this early in the morning on the weekend, he knew his parents would be home.
They tended to sleep in on the weekends since they were usually out and about the rest of the day.
“It’s me,” Saint called out as he closed the front door behind him.
“In the kitchen,” his mother, Olivia, replied over the old-school Latin ballad. Growing up, his house had always been filled with music, and it was usually accompanied by his mother dancing in the kitchen. It always ended with her pulling him into dance with her. She’d twirl him and make him laugh.
A lump formed in his throat. He had so many happy memories growing up. Would it have changed if he’d come out sooner? He could almost hear Val’s gentle voice in his head. No what-ifs.
Saint swallowed hard. During his military career, he’d gone on countless missions, faced unknown deadly forces, and done it without hesitation. But now? Facing his mother? He was scared . Breathing in deep, he headed for the kitchen, smiling at his mother as she stirred scrambled eggs at the stove.
“Hola, Mami.” Saint stopped next to her and kissed her cheek.
“Hola, querido.” She kissed his cheek and motioned to the frying pan. “?Quieres?”
“No, thank you. I already had breakfast. Is Dad home?”
“Dad is home,” his father, Juan, said as he emerged from the hallway and walked into the kitchen.
His father was a big man, and Saint always thought it was amusing that his mother was so much smaller yet fiercer.
He patted Saint’s back on the way to the dishwasher to grab his coffee mug. Saint shook his head.
“Are you ever going to use that dishwasher to actually wash dishes?”
His mother looked at him like he’d sprouted antennae. “Where would I put all the coffee mugs?”
“Um, in the cabinet?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “The cabinet is for dinnerware and glasses.”
“Of course it is,” he said, amused.
His father poured some milk and two sugars into the mug and stuck it in the microwave. “You eating?”
“No. Thank you. Already ate.”
Olivia served the scrambled eggs onto plates. They were her famous tomato, chorizo, onion, and cheese scrambled eggs, and they always smelled amazing. Okay, he needed something to do with his hands.
“You know, I think I will make myself un café con leche.” He grabbed one of his mugs, because in their house everyone had their own designated mugs, and added a couple teaspoons of brown cane sugar and then milk.
He popped it in the microwave for a few minutes.
His mom’s favorite song came on, and he smiled because he knew what was coming next.
He turned and laughed as his mom salsa’d her way over to him.
Saint let her take his hand and pull him into a dance as Juan Luis Guerra’s “Burbujas de Amor” played from the music app on their TV.
“You remember when you were little, we used to dance to this in the kitchen? You would put your little feet on mine?”
“I remember,” Saint said, laughing when she put her feet on his.
“And now I can do the same with you,” she teased. With a kiss on his cheek, she went back to her seat.
While they ate and his mom chatted about the latest news from her book club that was clearly not a book club and just an excuse for her and her friends to get together, drink wine, and gossip, he finished making his latte.
He sipped it and listened, pretending he hadn’t noticed his father eyeing him.
“What’s wrong?” Olivia asked as she handed the empty plates to him to put in the sink. “You’re very quiet.”
Saint laughed. “That obvious, huh?”
“A mother knows,” Olivia said. She pointed to one of the chairs at the counter, and he took a seat at the end, then got back up.
“I’m just gonna get some water.”
“That bad?” His father asked.
“Nothing bad,” Saint said as he grabbed a glass and filled it with some ice and water from the fridge door. He didn’t sit. Instead, he went back to standing on the other side of the counter across from them. “It’s really good. Amazing, actually.”
“Oh, good news! Tell us, tell us,” Olivia said. She studied him and frowned. “Why are you so nervous if it’s good?”
“I need to talk to you both about something.”
“Is everything okay?” Juan asked.
“Well, it’s been an eventful few months. I should probably start with that. Wait, have you seen the news lately?” Saint asked, realizing that if his apartment building fire had been on the news, his mother would have been blowing up his phone with phone calls.
“We were down in Miami for a wedding. Spent a couple of extra days there,” Olivia said. “We got back late last night.”
Ah, that would explain it. Saint and his parents had always had an honest and open relationship, and he’d always been close with his mother.
She’d helped him through his divorce, coddled him, and fed him.
Saint hadn’t minded being spoiled for the first few days while he tried to come to terms with his new life.
Saint filled his parents in on everything that had happened over the last few months, from the explosion at Val’s retirement party to him helping Val with his tavern while he was on leave, Leo getting shot, his apartment getting blown up, and then Adrian finally being stopped.
“?Ay, mi cielo! You could have been killed!” She crossed her arms over her chest. “How could you not tell us? Santos, you know better than this.”
“I know. I just didn’t want to worry you.”
“You were in the hospital and didn’t call us.” Olivia looked hurt, and Saint reached out across the counter to take her hand.
“I’m sorry. I am. But Mami, you’ve spent so many years worrying about me. First while I was in the Navy, then when Alicia left me, then when I joined the Kings. I didn’t want to give you one more thing to worry about.”
“?Santos Ignacio Suarez Cavallero!” Olivia smacked her hand on the counter, and Saint cringed.
“Ooh, you got the full name,” Juan said before taking a sip of his coffee. “You’re in trouble.”
“You be quiet,” Olivia scolded her husband before returning her attention to Saint. “You’re never to do that again, you hear me? I am your mother. My job is to worry about you.”
Saint wanted to say it shouldn’t be, but he knew his mother. No point in arguing about it. She would worry about him no matter how old he was. “I’m so sorry. I should have told you.”
Juan eyed him. “That’s not what you sat us down to tell us, though, is it?”
“No.” Saint cleared his throat.
“What’s wrong, carino?”
“The, um, the fire chief I was telling you about?”
“Oh, yes. We know him. We’ve seen him on TV. Very handsome man.”
“I’m glad you think so because um….” Saint took a deep breath. “He’s my boyfriend.”
His parents blinked at him. They were so still that Saint waved a hand in front of them.
“Did I break you?”
“Your boyfriend. As in, you are dating a man?” Olivia asked, confused.
“Yes. You know, like how cousin Remito is married to a man?”
“You’re gay?” Juan asked, his frown deep.
“Bisexual. Um, you know. Men and women.” He remained quiet, letting his parents process this new information.
It was hard to tell what they were thinking.
His mother’s eyes teared up, and she looked heartbroken.
Oh fuck. Saint swallowed past the lump in his throat.
“I’m still the same. Nothing’s changed. Well, except the boyfriend part. ”
“Why would you keep this from us?” Olivia asked. “Did you think we would be terrible to you? That we wouldn’t love you?”
Saint opened his mouth and then closed it. “Wait, are you hurt because I’m bisexual or because I didn’t tell you?”
“You break my heart because you didn’t feel you could trust us.”
Saint let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god.”
“?Santos!”
“No, no.” He held his hands up. “I didn’t keep it from you. I didn’t know. Well, I might have, but I just pushed it down and tried to ignore it, pretending it wasn’t there. Then I met Val, and I realized I couldn’t hide anymore.”
“Is that true?” Olivia asked, getting off her chair and coming around the counter.
“Of course, Mami. You know I’ve always told you everything. I didn’t tell you this because I didn’t know, and now that I do, that’s why I’m here.”
“?Ay, mi cielo!” She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. He returned her embrace, laughing when she planted kisses all over his face. “You’re my heart, you know that.”
“Sí, Mami.” He lifted his gaze and worried his bottom lip. His dad still hadn’t said anything. “Dad?”
“Is he a good man?”
“He’s amazing. I love him.”
Juan met his gaze. “And this man loves you? He makes you happy?”
“Yes. He loves me, and yes, he makes me happy. Like, really, really happy.”
Juan nodded. “Then that is all that matters.”
Saint sniffed and wiped at his eye. “Thanks, Dad.” He didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath. Really, he should have known better, but he’d seen and heard so many heartbreaking stories that even he had struggled not to fear the worst.
“When will we meet him?” Olivia asked.
“Well, you can meet him now if you want.”
Olivia stared at him. “He’s here?”
“Yeah, in the car out front. He wanted to come and support me.”