Chapter 2
The couple ignored the excited barking of the dog.
He had brought the vehicle to a stop at the base of the step and was just sitting there staring into the encroaching darkness.
Catherine had remained stiff and silent throughout the journey back, afraid to even move.
And she had been acutely conscious of the wave of anger emanating from him.
Unable to bear the strained silence anymore, she reached for the handle and realized he had not released the lock.
"I..."
"Invite me in." His fingers were tight on the wheel; his entire body tense as a drawn spring.
"No." All through the journey, she had been thinking as well. He was potent, a very handsome man and she had never been with anyone like him. Sophisticated and experienced. She was in over her head.
He turned to her just then, a faintly cynical expression on his face. "We want each other."
She nodded in agreement. "That might be the case and I'm sure you're accustomed to getting what you want."
"This has nothing to do with entitlement." He drew in a calming breath, or tried to. He was tense and the thirty-minute drive had done nothing to quell his desire. It was pouring through him like molten lava. Not only that, but her essence, the scent of her, filled the car.
"I have to go. There's... I have work to finish up." She drew in a deep breath. "Thanks for the generous gift. I really should not accept it..."
"You're saying goodbye?"
She met his eyes squarely. "I have to. This is not going to work. I'm not the type to enter into a fling. I have never done casual sex, ever."
I have never had sex before. She added silently. "I've worked too hard to be good and have no intention of throwing it all away for a few nights of pleasure." She took another breath. "So, yes, this is goodbye. I'm sorry."
"Are you?"
"Yes," she said with genuine regret. "I happen to like you. Now could you please open..."
"Have dinner with me."
Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back. "You know that's not going to happen."
"Give me something." He was aware that he was practically begging and this was new to him.
"I can't. Like I said, I've worked too hard to be good..." She gasped when his hand snaked out to wrap around her arm.
"You keep saying that. You've worked too hard to be good. What exactly do you mean by that?"
"Nothing," she muttered.
"I'm not letting you go until you explain," he told her in an implacable tone.
Seeing the determination stamped on his face, she shrugged and tried to find the best way to say it without sounding ridiculous.
"I was involved in an accident when I was seventeen.
" Her eyes drifted from his face to somewhere over his left shoulder, expression pensive.
"I... I was bad." She bit her lip. "I was acting out.
My dad had left when I was fifteen without a word of explanation.
I blamed my mom and started running with a group of girls who did not believe in authority.
We engaged in fights and were constantly being hauled into the principal's office.
My mother was working two jobs just to make ends meet. "
She tried to pull away, but he would not allow it. "I didn't understand that she was going through hell. Her husband left and she had to try and do whatever she could all by herself. I never knew, never tried to understand." She blinked at the tears.
"Then one night we went to a party. It was way across town in an area that wasn't fit for girls our age.
There was drinking and..." She swallowed the lump in her throat.
"I never touched the hard stuff, just weed, but the others indulged.
Sharma was driving. We were all drinking; we had filched beers from the party and were having a whale of a time.
She ran a red light and went right under a truck. "
"I was in the back seat and managed to slide down to the ground. The EMTs and doctors said that was what saved my life. The others..." She shook her head. "They perished. Died on impact. They had to cut me out of the vehicle. I escaped with cuts and bruises and several cracked ribs."
"I was in the hospital for two weeks without realizing what had happened to my friends.
When they told me..." She swallowed again.
"When they told me and when I saw my mother for the first time since the accident, I wanted to die.
So, after sinking into depression that lasted a month, I woke up one morning and decided to turn my life around.
" She turned her gaze back to his. "I decided to be good to make up for the bad things I did.
The shoplifting and everything else. Now you understand why I could never be with someone like you. "
He remained silent during the discourse, his heart pounding, his mind reeling. None of that had shown up in the report. Yes, he had known about the accident that had almost claimed her life, but not the rest of it.
"That's why you volunteer at all these shelters." His voice was soft with understanding.
"And teach Sunday school." A smile touched her lips. "It started out as a sort of penance, something to right the wrongs, but I found out that I liked it."
"Your mother? She died?"
Catherine nodded, the pain still evident. "Two years ago, from an aneurysm. She worked so hard. And for all of the grief that I put her through, she never gave up on me. I wanted to make her proud. I think I did and that's what has been sustaining me since she passed."
She looked at him then. "I cannot undo what I spent years building, so as much as yes, I admit it, I'm fascinated that a man like you is interested in someone like me, that the excitement of being in your arms and the way you made me feel, all of it, I'm going to have to pass."
"And if I don't want to accept that?" His hold tightened. "If I keep persisting?"
She tried to pull away again, making a frustrated sound when he simply tightened his hold. "I would have to say that this is a novelty for you. And you should do us both a favor and get over it."
"I tried to tell myself that too." He started to haul her towards him.
Putting her hands out, she slapped them on his chest. "Have you been listening to me?" she cried, panic clouding her voice. "I cannot be involved with you. I'm not simply going to ditch my resolves and way of thinking just to please you. I cannot."
"Then I'm just going to have to show you that you're wrong." His hand came up to cup the back of her neck. "Being with me doesn't mean that you're bad. You're still going to be the same sweet person you've become. All I want is..." His mouth crushed hers before she could turn her head away.
Clamping her lips shut did not stop him. He merely nibbled at her bottom lip until she had no choice but to give him access. As soon as she capitulated, he plunged his tongue in and deepened the kiss.
Her senses reeled drunkenly and had her arms going around his neck. The excitement of the kiss had her heart racing and her body tingling. He had managed to break down the walls she had carefully built around her. She felt them crumbling slowly, leaving her completely defenseless.
Desire stormed through her and left her feeling weak and vulnerable.
Dean was having a hard time keeping from tearing the clothes from her body.
His hand drifted restlessly from her neck to her back and then her breasts.
Her rigid nipples had him jolting, awareness running through his body like quicksilver.
If he did not stop now... but how could he?
The sensations of her lips, her scent, the taste of her were driving him insane.
Forcing himself to end the kiss, he put her away and leaned his head back as he tried desperately to control the lust raging through him like a flood.
"Let me out." Her voice was small and suffocated.
Without turning his head, he released the lock and this time did not stop her as she shoved the door open and got out. He sat there even after he heard the front door slam shut and the locks engage.
He thought to himself that she had done the right thing. Only a locked door was going to keep him away from her. Pushing the start button, he wheeled the car around and drove away.
*****
The excited barks and her dog's enthusiastic greeting cut through her maze of despair.
"Hey there, buddy." Wrapping her arms around him, she closed her eyes and tried to fight the tears that threatened to spill. As if sensing her mood, Galahad started whining, tongue licking the side of her face.
"It's okay." Taking a deep breath, she released him. "Down now. I'm fine. I just need to take a breath and steady myself." Smoothing a hand down his back, she gave him a reassuring smile. "For a minute there, I forgot who I am. Come on, let's get you something to eat."
She did all the things she normally did, by rote. Her mind wasn't on her task. Feeding her dog was done automatically. The cup of steaming tea did nothing to settle the jitters that had lodged themselves inside her stomach.
And when she sat down to finish the project she had started, her mind wasn't on the task. She could not concentrate.
Finally pushing it away, she curled her feet under her and picked up the cup of the now cooling tea. She had bought the house with the intention that she and her mother would finally have a place to settle.
After the accident and the subsequent bad moments of depression and trying to find herself, she had decided that teaching was what she wanted to do. Not just teaching, but a specialized area. She wanted to mold young minds. She loved children and wanted to be part of their lives.
With that in mind, she had worked assiduously to get a scholarship. And with the determination to help her mother out and make up for the heartache she had caused, she studied her butt off.