Chapter 13 #2
"Irene tried to warn me, but I told myself she was just jealous.
It didn't matter that she never spent time with us, that she was always in and out.
The few times she would come up and wish me good night, I treasured it.
The wakeup call came when I was ten years old and it was brutal.
" His hand tightened on hers unconsciously.
"I was floored. It took me years to come to grips with what I saw and even then, I tried to find excuses.
My father led her to do the unspeakable.
Then I could not rationalize it anymore.
" He studied her exquisite features as if committing them all to memory.
"It took me a while to realize that underneath all that beauty was an empty shell.
My faith in mankind, in human beings, was shattered beyond repair.
I acted accordingly by falling in line. I wanted to outdo them.
If they brought a new lover to the manor every week, I took three women.
I was not picky. And there wasn't a shortage of females who wanted to be with me.
" His mouth twisted. "Is it too difficult to hear this, my love? "
"Somewhat." She drew in a breath and let it out carefully. "I hurt for you, for the little boy who had his dreams shattered."
"You must be so disgusted," he said flatly, wondering if she was.
It sickened him to recall the scene he had witnessed when he was ten years old.
The one in the library with his father and godmother had been bad enough, but seeing his mother with another man had almost killed him.
She had shattered his illusions of her and broken him into pieces.
"I am saddened." She knew his moods and realized where he was going.
"I could have taken another direction," he argued. "But I did what they did." His face was anguished. "I slept with married women, Catherine, so how the hell should I judge them?"
Propping her elbows on his chest, she gave him a direct look from soft eyes.
"You were a child, and what you saw destroyed everything you thought you knew, everything you believed in.
" She stroked his tensed jaw, trying to soften the muscles.
"You did what you thought was expected of you.
I'm not in a position to judge you. I love you for who you are, not who you were.
And I would like you to finally understand that.
" She held his gaze steadily. "When I see you, I see a strong, beautiful man, one I'm proud to be with, to call my husband. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
His eyes blurred and not for the first time, he felt his heart overflowing.
"Thanks." His voice was rough, his heart thudding unsteadily. "Thank you for loving me."
Her heart melted at the words and the look on his face.
"You're most welcome, darling." Determined to lighten the mood, she climbed on top of him. "Now, how about we pass the night making up for our lack over the last few days?"
His eyes darkened. "What do you have in mind?"
In response, she lifted her body and sheathed him completely, taking him in until he was embedded deep inside her. For the next two hours, they spent the time lost in each other.
********************
Dean held her hand securely in his as they waited for the doctor to come out and talk to them. They had been at the private clinic for the past three hours where Dr. Wynter and his team had done a thorough examination.
Now they were just waiting.
"You're shaking." Lifting their joined hands, he tried to inject some assurance by kissing her knuckles. They had spent the last couple of days comforting each other and talking about the possibilities. And he had promised that he would be supportive.
"Just nerves." She leaned against him and closed her eyes briefly. "Just..." She straightened up as he walked into the room and was bolstered by his expression. "Doctor Wynter! Eric!"
"Is everything all right?" she asked.
He had left them in his starkly appointed office as he finished his notes. Instead of going behind his massive desk, he pulled up a chair in front of them and sat.
"The damage is minimal. The body has an amazing way of healing itself and that's what happened." He smiled at the whoosh of relief from the couple. "We will continue to monitor the pregnancy closely, but I see no reason why you would not be able to carry the pregnancy to full term."
Her hand gripped her husband's so tight their bones were rubbing, and words failed her. It was left up to Dean to carry on the conversation and ask the questions. Dr. Wynter had prepared a detailed description of the kinds of treatments and preparations for the pregnancy.
"I will want to see you twice a month for now to assure myself and you that everything is going according to plan." He smiled at them. "But for now, you can rest easy."
********************
He allowed her the silence as they made their way back home. He knew her well enough to realize that she was overcome. The fact that she kept mostly silent during the discourse by the doctor clued him in. And she had adjusted her seat and leaned her head back, closing her eyes in the process.
"Hungry?" he asked solicitously as they entered the foyer.
"No, just some tea."
"Stomach queasy?"
"Slightly. I'm just exhausted. I'm going upstairs to lie down." She managed a smile, but he was not fooled.
He watched her ascend the stairs before turning towards the kitchen.
The housekeeper had already left for the day and there was a meal in the warmer.
Putting the kettle on, he added some saltines on a tray.
Selecting her favorite mint medley, he waited for it to steep before taking the tray upstairs.
He found her curled up on the loveseat, her head propped up on a cushion, a blanket thrown over her.
"I found some saltines." He brought the tray over and placed it on the cherry wood table in front of her.
"You should eat some." He broke off in alarm when she launched herself on top of him and burst into tears.
His arms closed around her as he listened to her weeping.
His wife was not merely crying; she was bawling her eyes out.
It took a minute or two for her to get the crying jag under control so that he could ask what the hell was going on.
Easing her away from him, he studied the swollen eyes and the tear-streaked cheeks.
"All right." His hands were gentle on her arms. "Is it over?"
She nodded.
"Ready to tell me what's going on?"
"We're having a baby."
He hid a smile and squashed down the pithy comment. At the state she was in, he was not certain she would appreciate him making jokes.
"It appears so."
She glowered at him. "You're patronizing me."
Biting off a sigh, he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "Are you going to bite my head off if I say something about hormones?"
To his surprise, she started smiling through the tears.
"Hormones." She savored the word as if it was honey.
And just like that, her mood changed. "Dean, it definitely is hormones.
I'm pregnant and this makes it official.
All the way pregnant." She threw up her hands and laughed, the sound free and infectious.
"Darling."
"I'm fine." She eased back to wrap her hands around his neck. "I'm carrying your baby inside me. Isn't that wonderful?"
He was about to tell her that it was not a baby yet and they were not out of the woods, but he didn't have the heart to burst her bubble. She looked so damned happy that it was making him happy.
"It is wonderful." He grinned, totally charmed by her.
"We should think of names." A tiny frown touched her brow. "I was looking up books online and it's staggering the number they have available. We should go shopping." She hopped off his lap before he could stop her.
"The nursery."
"Catherine." He rose and caught her as she headed towards the doorway. "Slow down please. You're six weeks."
She rounded on him. "You're thinking I'm jinxing things."
"No." Clamping his hands on her shoulders, he held her in place. "I'm thinking we have time. And I don't want you running around and getting dizzy. I thought you were feeling nauseous."
"You're right." Standing on her toes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly.
"We have time. And besides, we have a lot to think about, read about between now and then.
" She leaned into him, inhaling his scent.
"We created something wonderful and I will be praying that this baby is healthy.
" She lifted her head to gaze at him. "I want him to be smart and clever, so to aid that process, we will be listening to mostly classical music.
I happen to love Beethoven. And of course, we will visit museums and go to the various galleries. And of course, the opera."
"You don't like the opera," he pointed out, amused at this new side of her.
"I could learn to like it."
"All right," he capitulated, willing to give her anything she wanted. He was still cautious and terrified even though Eric had given his reassurances. He knew that a lot of things could go wrong.
"We're going to have to tell your parents," she said quietly after a few minutes of companionable silence.
He was afraid of that. "Can we wait?" he asked flatly.
The very thought of sharing their good news with them was making him queasy.
His kid was going to be their grandchild and that could not be helped.
He knew without a shadow of a doubt that his father would immediately see an heir, and as for his mother, he wondered if she would really care.
Seeing the bleak look on his face, she tugged his head down and kissed his lips. "We will wait. I doubt I'll start showing until I reach the second trimester. So we'll keep it to ourselves."
"Great." Swinging her into his arms, he headed towards the bed. "Let's celebrate in our own special way."