Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
Ashleigh
A dull pain drives through my head, causing it to ache and throb. I thought I was done with this. The agony of last night replays through my mind, causing a bit of bile to rise in my throat.
But the dean saved me. Right? Between Thatcher screaming and the dean holding me, a lot of details feel a bit fuzzy around the edges. As I turn my head, the ache blossoms a bit into a sharper discomfort, drawing a ragged whimper from my lips.
All I can hope is that I’m safe. Part of me wants to open my eyes to see if it’s true, but the other part of me dreads finding out the truth. If I’m lucky, I’ll be back in my dorm room like nothing ever happened.
As I force an eye open, my gut plummets. Sun streams through curtains I don’t recognize. They look so cheerful somehow, as if the world is a good and perfect place. But I know it’s not. I learned that lesson last night. Maybe I’m still learning it.
“I can hear your breathing, sweetie,” the dean’s voice washes over me. “I need you to calm down for me. Can you do that? Can you be my good girl and take in a nice, slow, deep breath?”
At his soothing command, my body obeys him, slowing down so I can think. If he’s here, then that means I’m okay. But where exactly is here?
“You’re in my house,” he murmurs, running his fingers over my forehead.
I look up at him, my brows dipping into a frown. “Did I say that out loud?”
He tips his head back and chuckles, sending goosebumps down my body. “You didn’t have to, sweet girl. If I woke up somewhere I’d never been before, that would be my first question. I figured it would be yours as well.”
“Smart man,” I groan, closing my eyes. “Tell me, am I dead?”
“No. But the water after you showered sure looked like it.”
“I showered?” But even as I ask that, my mind fills in the blanks, reminding me of the tender way he held me under the spray. No inch of me went untouched to his gentle fingers. “We showered. I remember now.”
“Good. Do you remember Doctor Bradley?”
“Mild concussion. Light homework slash reading for the next few weeks. Break if I get tired. But the Lantern-“
“Will be there when you feel better. I’m sure it can stand not going out for a week or two.”
“Easy for you to say,” I grumble as I cross my arms.
Instantly, I regret the action. The joints protest so fast, I let them flop back by my side.
“See, it’s not good for you to brat so soon after all this. Is it? Seriously. How are you? Do you need Doctor Andrew to help you process? He said he’d make himself available at any point.”
My breath slips through my lips in a shaky shudder. “If it’s all the same, I’d rather not. The man gives me the creeps.”
“Same. Honestly. But don’t tell him that. He’ll wear it like a fucking badge of honor.”
For a moment, we slip into a comfortable silence as he crawls into bed with me and envelops me with his warmth. “I was terrified for you. I was worried I would lose you. What the hell were you thinking, just taking off and saying nothing?”
Turning my head as best as I can, I do my best to glare up at the man looking down at me with such raw tenderness. “I suppose I can launch a similar query your way with why you didn’t have Todd put the app on my phone?”
“You first.”
A weary sigh hovers in my chest as I snuggle in closer. “I really don’t have an excuse other than I was just following orders. You said to handle the Caldwell situation. That’s what I thought I was doing.”
“And going to the so-called Devil’s Playground didn’t strike you as odd?”
“I mean, it did, but come on. It was a place we played at as kids. More than that, it was Caldwell. Or rather, Piss Boy as Sergei puts it. I didn’t really see him as a threat.”
For a moment, we just lie there tangled up together as our bodies shake with unrestrained laughter. But honestly, at this point, it feels more like a laughing so we don’t cry situation. At least on my end.
Eventually, we both sober and descend into silence. “And Thatcher? I did everything I could, the wrong things of course, but I did what I thought I had to so you could be safe. How the hell did he find out?” I wince and move to pull away, but his arms wrap around me even tighter. “Whatever it is, we can work this out. I’m in this for the long haul. But I need you to talk to me.”
“He saw me at Chi Sigma Delta.”
“That’s not surprising. He did like to avail himself to the submissives as much as he could.”
“I told him what we agreed on, but then I saw him again.”
“At the house? But he was expecting you there.”
“Not at the house,” I murmur, my voice softening as I prepare to tell him how I royally fucked up. “At the castle.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I went back.”
“Ashleigh. Tell me you didn’t.”
“I just wanted to sit back by the fountain. I wasn’t going to go in. I swear. But then I heard someone in the maze, and I panicked. I went through the castle the way you took me after the hunt.”
“And he was there.”
“He was there.”
“I see.” His voice goes a touch flat as he lies there next to me.
“I’m sorry.” I sob out, curling into him again. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, pet,” he murmurs, holding me close. “I’m the one who should be sorry. In hiding you away, I made you an even bigger liability. That part’s on me. You disobeying me, however, will be dealt with during your initiation.”
For a moment, everything stops. There’s no way I heard him right. After what I did, he still wants to initiate me?
“I don’t-“
“You really don’t think you’re getting away from me that easily. Do you, love? I’ve murdered a man for you. In some cultures somewhere, I’m sure it’s considered a marriage proposal.”
“Pretty sure that’s how Sergei would mean it.”
“He’s exactly who I was thinking,” he laughs. When he sobers, I know the conversation is about to get heavy again. “Bradley says no heavy playing or jostling for a few weeks. Just to make sure everything is okay. After that, after I get the go ahead, I’m going to make you mine in front of everyone. No more secrets. No more hoping nothing happens to you.”
“And if someone tries to use me as leverage again?”
“I can track you to the ends of the earth. Make no mistake about that.” The heat in his gaze makes everything clench up as need pours over my body like lemon juice in a wound.
It hurts. Dear God, it hurts like hell. But under that pain, the most beautiful pleasure blossoms, nearly shattering me from the inside out. It gives me hope that I’ll be able to find relief at his hands. That Thatcher didn’t rip that from me or break me somehow.
Sliding my hand up his cheek, I coax his lips down to mine. Thankfully, that bastard never tried to kiss me. The feel of the dean’s lips upon my own is untainted, giving me a rush as he gently claims me.
For once, he lets me take the lead. I think he knows I need this. I need to see where I can push and where I can’t.
“Be careful of your head, love. Your arms aren’t too great right now, either.”
“Please,” I whimper as tears blur my vision. “I need you... I need you to erase him. I need to feel you and only you. Please. Drive him from my body. Make me yours.”
With a soft growl, he skims his lips down the column of my throat and over the swell of my breast. Like last night, no inch goes untouched. Only now, he has a far more seductive purpose. He takes his time, using his fingers, lips, and tongue on my nipples before kissing down my stomach.
As he gets to my thighs, he pauses and looks at me, his gaze warm and inviting. Fear settles into my gut as my heart picks up speed. This is what I want. This is what I need. Why is this so hard?
“We don’t have to do this, sweetie,” he whispers against my thigh before he gives it a gentle kiss. “I don’t want to harm you.”
As he says those words, I grit my teeth and part my legs. He’s not Thatcher. He’s not going to harm me. I know this with every fiber of my being.
With slow, determined movements, he spreads me open even more and stares down at my pussy. “Perfect,” he murmurs as he runs his thumbs on either side of my lower lips, opening me up further to his hungry gaze. “I’ll never get tired of this view.”
His gaze locks with mine as he lowers his face to my mound. At any point, I know I can beg him to stop. But I don’t. I can’t. I have to be brave.
At the first swipe of his tongue against my clit, my whole body shudders in relief. Pleasure, pure and unadulterated, sweeps through me, curling my toes and causing arousal to gather at my entrance. Not broken.
He feasts on me, gently licking, sucking, and nipping, driving me to the edge of release. But he doesn’t let me go over the edge. Oh no. He’s far too cruel to do that.
Soft whimpers claw at my throat as I dig my fingers into the sheets. Everything he does feels so fucking good. My insides cramp as each swipe of his tongue brings me back to the brink, only to have him pull back away.
Minutes go by like hours until I fear I’m delirious with the need to come. “Please,” I whimper. “Please, Master. Please fuck me.”
His fingers notch at my entrance and stay there for a good several moments. With his free hand, he slides it up to rest on top of my breastbone. “I’m going to slide my fingers in, sweet girl. I need you to just lie there and breathe for me. In. That’s my good girl. Out.” His finger slowly slides in, aided by my arousal.
For a moment, everything seizes as fear locks in. “Breathe, love. I’m not moving another inch until you breathe.”
I let the air out in a whoosh and suck in another. “That’s my good girl. Slower this time. In and out. You can do it.”
After several rounds of inhalations, his fingers slide all the way in and stay there. My inner walls clamp and release as my brain tries to rewire everything. It’s the dean, my dean.
Slowly, everything starts to relax, allowing him to pull back out. “There you go, love. We’re going to do this again.”
Once more, he slides in as I breathe. It’s easier now, far less scary. After a few more rounds of this, he picks up his pace, gliding in and out with a bit more force and speed. His tongue and lips dance along my clit, pulling more pleasure out of me as my soft whimpers turn to cries of need.
Over and over he impales me, making those butterflies in my stomach flip and swarm, filling me up until all I can do is cry out. My orgasm crashes into me hard and fast, forcing me to bow up as everything clenches tight. Lights dance in front of my eyes as tears run down my cheeks.
The dean never stops. He keeps finger fucking me, helping me ride out the orgasm until all I can do is beg for him to stop. He pulls out ever so gently and climbs back up the bed to wrap me in his arms. I’ve never felt so safe, so secure, so loved, as I do in that moment.
As I run my fingers down his arm, my brain goes back to the events of last night. One thing still stands out that hasn’t been answered. Even though I long for sleep to overtake me, I need to know how he found me.
“How did you manage to find me? Did you track my phone?”
“About that,” he murmurs, kissing a trail down my spine. “You remember your friend Marnie?”
“What about her?” Fear trips my heart and sets my breathing to a rapid staccato.
“Shhhh, love. She’s fine.” His warm hand comes around to rest on my heart. “She’s safe down in Florida with a secret society of her own. It’s one I know, and one I don’t want you to have anything to do with. One of them put a tracker in you at some point. Do you have any memory of something jabbing you?”
My brow furrows as I force my brain to work. “The only thing I can remember is this douche accidentally hit me with his backpack then walked off. Could it have been that?”
“Possibly. You wouldn’t remember this guy. He’d make sure of it.”
“But what does this have to do with Marnie? What does this have to do with me?”
“Let’s just say, take my protective instincts and crank it up to eleven. You’re probably one of her only friends, so if something happened, he’d want to know where you both were.”
“Then why not track her?”
“She would probably expect it. You wouldn’t.”
“I guess that makes sense...” My stomach twists for a moment. “It’s odd knowing something’s in me that I can’t even see or take out. I don’t like the idea of him knowing where I’m at. It feels... invasive.”
“I had the same thoughts. Which is why it’s been transferred to a different server. He can’t access it. Not without Todd knowing.”
“Well, that’s a relief.” My eyes drift close as I snuggle deeper into him.
“There’s more.”
“Fuck. What now?”
“Leave Marnie alone. She’s safe. She’s well. That’s all you need to know. If you keep pushing, he’ll kill you.”
Fear makes my body tremble, urging the dean to hold me even tighter. “You can’t be serious. Why would he do that?”
“Why do psychopaths do anything that they do? Just promise me you’ll drop it. I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you. I’ll read every fucking message if that’s what it takes.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
As he pulls me tight against his chest, I can’t help the bit of sorrow I feel at officially losing her as a friend. Hopefully, once the dean officially claims me, I’ll be able to really interact with the other girls. It’s not the same as Marnie, but they could certainly help fill that void.
Sleep threatens to overtake me again as the heat of his body seeps into me, healing my soul as his deep breathing ruffles my hair. Can I really wait these next few weeks for him to claim me? Despite the soreness still slogging me down and tethering me to the bed, I can’t help but feel my heart pound with excitement.