Chapter 14 #2
The words land like a punch to the gut. Scout's cheeks turn bright pink but her expression stays neutral. It's clear to me she's been hit like this before and learned to hide the damage.
My fists curl at my sides. Everything in me goes cold and sharp and deadly focused.
"Actually," I find myself shouting more than starting. "Scout's with me. My, uh, girlfriend." I slide my arm around her waist and squeeze her close. "Isn't that right, baby?"
Scout stares up at me, her expression startled. "Uh... yes?"
Enzo stares at us, his expression strained. "Right. Girlfriend."
The exec seems blithely unaware of our tensions. "It's nice to meet the woman who tamed Silas Huxley. You know, they're calling him Defense Daddy over on TikTok. I'm assuming you get treated pretty nice, huh?"
"Oh." Scout's cheeks turn from pink to a mottled fuchsia. Her gaze falls to the ground before us and sticks there. "Uh, yep."
"I knew it." The guy has the fucking stones to elbow me and wink. "You guys make a cute couple."
Enzo snorts. Everyone looks at him and he seems to realize he's not getting paid if he doesn't make me look like a catch. "They’re really something," is the best he can come up with.
"Thanks, Enzo." Ignoring him, I stare down at Scout, but she's busy picking at a loose thread on her dress. "Why don't you go sit down? Take a breather. I'll come find you when I'm ready to leave."
“Oh.” Scout looks up at me, her eyes filled with questions. "Okay. Sounds good, Si."
Her pet name hits me hard. She's just playing the game, but hearing her chosen pet name makes my cock stir.
Enzo stares a hole in my chest as I finish up with the BeastMode+ execs, then excuse myself. I head to the open bar. I'm not normally a drinker, but this is an exception. My brother Jett appears at my elbow, nursing a whiskey that's mostly ice. His expression is dark.
I feel his heavy gaze on me. "What?"
"I saw what just went down."
I accept a beer from the bartender, my lips twisting. "Still eavesdropping, huh?"
"Enzo makes your girl uncomfortable and yet, he’s still walking around." His voice is low and serious. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"She's not my girl." The words taste like ash in my mouth. "She's just crashing with me because the organization made her take care of me. It’s a temporary arrangement."
"Yeah? Just in a casual relationship with the girl you've been in love with for years?"
The back of my neck heats. "I am not in love with Scout."
"That's not what I heard." He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. "You just called her your girlfriend. I don't think you've ever had a girlfriend."
"Dude." I roll my eyes. "I was just saying that to get Enzo's goat. He talks about her like she fucked him over in the divorce. But I think it was the exact opposite."
Jett straightens his tie while giving me a look. "So you're saying that not only do you not love her, but you aren't desperately trying to figure out how to wife her?"
Taking a long sip of beer gives me time to make my reply believable. "That's what I'm saying, Jett. Scout and I aren't even friendly."
He gives me a look that says he doesn't believe a single word of it. "Sure. And I'm the king of Spain. Keep telling yourself that, big guy."
I don't answer. I grab my beer and watch the door, waiting for Scout to come back so I can make sure she's okay. I need to see her face and know if I made things better or worse by antagonizing Enzo.
She doesn't reappear for twenty minutes. When she does, her smile's back in place. Professional. Helpful. She acts like nothing happened.
Something feels different, though. I can still feel her hand pressed against my chest. God help me, I fucking want that again.
The rest of the event blurs together. Handshakes with people whose names I forget immediately.
Forced smiles for photographers. Promises I'll play better next season, sell more jerseys, be the kind of player sponsors want on their billboards. I do it all on autopilot, but my mind’s stuck on the way Enzo's words landed. The way Scout's face went blank.
I should've hit him, but I didn't. Part of me wonders if I shouldn't just find him and wail on him for good measure. Sure, it would piss the sponsor off. But it would feel so good.
"Ready to go?" Scout asks. I blink and realize the room has mostly emptied. I grunt and follow her.
Thank god she's not still insisting on driving.
Since I've gotten the all clear from the doctor to return to the ice, I've taken back this small measure of control.
Driving back to the condo is a silent affair.
Scout stares out the window, chewing on her bottom lip.
I keep my eyes on the road and try to think of something to say that won't sound hollow or useless.
Nothing comes.
When we get inside, Scout takes off her heels. I stand in the foyer, feeling awkward and I study her. It's usually easy to tell what she's feeling from her expression, but she keeps her head down. Maybe hiding from me, I realize.
"Are you okay?"
Her lips turn up in the ghost of a smile, but she doesn't look at me. "Thanks for pretending to be my boyfriend."
Then without another word, she disappears into her room and closes the door with a soft click. I stand in the hallway for a full minute, staring at that closed door, wanting to knock and knowing I don't have the right.
I retreat to my bedroom with the door locked and the lights off. My phone glows in my hand, the app open, her username staring up at me like an accusation.
I know it's wrong, but if I text Scout, I know I can ask her about her feelings. And because StatMan is anonymous, there’s a chance that she'll tell him all about it.
God, if she ever finds out I've been milking her for information, there will be hell to pay. I can already see her packing up and moving out. Too bad that doesn't stop me from texting her.
StatMan12
Tell me about your day.
She doesn't answer right away. It's long enough that I start to panic. I imagine her deleting the app, blocking me, moving on to someone who isn't a coward hiding behind a screen.
Then her reply comes through.
Yoga4Lyfe
Rough. My ex showed up at an event. He said some things that stuck.
My chest tightens. I know exactly what he said. I was standing right there. I heard every word.
StatMan12
What did he say?
Yoga4Lyfe
He just made me feel like shit.
Rage floods through me hot and immediate. I want to find Enzo right now and break his jaw.
StatMan12
He's wrong. You're perfect.
Yoga4Lyfe
You shouldn't say that. You don't know me in real life.
StatMan12
If you were mine, I'd shut him up by going down on you until you couldn't say his name. You'd be so blissed out that all you could say was mine.
The reply comes faster this time.
Yoga4Lyfe
I know I should want more from you. I should only spend time with men who're willing to be seen with me. But I think I'm addicted to getting off with you.
Shame floods through me, hot and sick and overwhelming. She needs more than what I can give her. She deserves someone who'll claim her in daylight, not just in the dark behind a screen. I'm lying about who I am in order to keep this sick game going.
It's going to burn me in the end, but I don't let that stop me. Pretty sure I'd walk across a pit of asps if it meant being closer to Scout.
StatMan12
That isn't the reason why I can't meet you. I want to. God, I want to. I have to keep my face private because of my job, but never doubt that you're beautiful and perfect. It's because of work, sweetheart. Not because I don't want to be seen with you.
I wait. The three dots appear, then disappear. Then nothing.
She doesn't answer. I pick up my phone again and type before I can stop myself.
StatMan12
You're not just beautiful. You're everything. And someday, when I can, I'll show you. I promise.
Send.
I don't expect a reply. Hell, after feeding her more lies wrapped up as promises I might never keep, I don't deserve one. My phone buzzes a minute later.
Yoga4Lyfe
We’ll see.
I close my eyes and let the shame wash over me in waves. She'll wait and hope and believe my lies until she finally figures out the truth. And when she realizes I've been lying to her this whole time, playing with her through a screen while living in the same space, she'll leave.
I set my phone on the nightstand and scrub my hands over my face. The guilt sits heavy in my chest.
But it’s not heavy enough to make me slow down.