Chapter 40
40
H eath was already home when we arrived, lying on the couch and absentmindedly stroking Lady’s fur as she snored beside him. He glanced up when we all piled through the front door and raised a brow in question.
“Bro,” Royce grimaced. “You look like shit.”
He wasn’t wrong. The ever-present dark circles under his eyes seemed deeper and his eyes were bloodshot. Still drop dead handsome, no question about it, but I was worried for his health.
“Thanks a lot,” he groaned. “Dr. Fox was brutal today. I feel like I’ve been run over. What was happening on campus? Everyone was buzzing about something when I got out of my session.”
“You didn’t hang around to find out?” Carly asked, her eyes narrowed with suspicion. Heath gave her a puzzled look even as I elbowed her. “What? It’s just a question.”
“I thought you’re the one who saw Heath leaving Dr. Fox’s office?” Carter pointed out, and she just shrugged.
“Yeah, I did. But I would have had to have been curious enough to hang around. I wasn’t.”
“Guys…” Heath said, sitting up and wincing. “What the fuck is going on?”
A freaking potato could tell he had a headache, so I left the guys to explain the flagpole incident while I went in search of painkillers. I found some beside Heath’s bed and brought them back with a glass of water.
“Thanks, babe,” he murmured, taking them gratefully. “So Butler tried to accuse me based on…nothing? He just doesn’t like me?”
“Sounds like he likes you a little too much, if you ask me,” Nate commented, already sitting in one of the armchairs like it was his throne. “His insistence that he knows Heath’s build and forearms kind of came off obsessive, don’t you think?”
Carly snorted. “I totally got the same vibe.”
“Well even so, I don’t like the accusation,” Heath admitted, running a hand over his face. He reached for his phone on the table and dialed someone on speakerphone.
Confused, I glanced at Nate who sighed and shook his head. “We don’t suspect you, bro, you don’t need to?—”
Heath held up his finger as the call connected with a man who answered with a professional, “Hello, Heath?”
“Hey, Dr. Fox,” Heath replied. “You probably already heard, there was a hazing incident on campus today. The victim has accused me of being responsible.”
The man on the phone gave a small grunt. “Impossible. You were here in my office all morning.”
Heath nodded, like he was relieved to have a credible alibi. “Thanks, Doc. I just wanted to make sure the air was cleared.”
“Not a problem, Heath. I have no problem confirming this if anyone else requires my statement.”
Heath chuckled and ended the call, tossing his phone back on the table.
“We didn’t actually think you’d done it,” Royce muttered, a little sullen.
Carly shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to verify, though. But now that is cleared up…who the hell did do it? Are we believing that this is someone in the DBs that you four don’t know about?”
Three sets of eyes swiveled my way, and I tensed in my awkward position on the arm of the sofa Heath was on. I swallowed hard under their scrutiny and swiped my sweaty palms on my skirt.
“So, okay, the diary.”
“What diary?” Heath asked, still catching up.
Royce huffed a disgruntled sound. “At least she’s been keeping it a secret from all of us and not just some .” He scowled my way and guilt twisted my insides. I did trust Royce…didn’t I?
Nate quickly gave Heath and Carly the vague details I’d let slip beneath the flagpole while I nervously hopped up and went to get myself some water. When I returned to the living area, I sat down on the edge of the sofa.
“Okay, so…basically I found Abigail Monstera’s diary the first week I was here. It was hidden in a false panel in my room, I guess she used to live in the same room? She was on the same scholarship as me and her diary started with her basically saying that if anyone found it, then she must be dead.”
“Which she is,” Nate confirmed. “Two years ago, drowned in Lake Placid during spring break.”
I frowned. “Spring?”
He nodded. “Yes. That was why no one found her body for so long, because the campus was empty for the break. Her corpse was so bloated, wrinkled, and unrecognizable, they needed to use dental records to identify.”
Blinking, I searched my memory of her diary and of the articles I’d found online about her death. The newspaper had been worse than vague so that didn’t surprise me. It had focused mostly on her life since her death was ruled suicide. But…
“Her diary ended somewhere in winter,” I said aloud. “Just before Christmas, I think? I just…I assumed that was when she died?” But now that I said it out loud, it didn’t make sense. The lake would be frozen over so unless she fell through the ice, she couldn’t have drowned.
No one else spoke, clearly waiting for me to explain with a fraction more context so I closed my eyes and tried to make sense of where to start.
“Abigail kept a diary of everything that happened to her, because she was convinced the Devil’s Backbone was murdering people and covering it up. She tried to speak up and asked to leave the society and they threatened her. Scared her badly enough that she started writing it all down as evidence.”
Someone made a scoff of disbelief, and I opened my eyes to see it was Royce. “Sorry, Squirrel, but that’s…not right. No one gets threatened when they want to leave the DBS.”
I shrugged. “Have you ever tried to leave?”
That made him pause. “No, I haven’t. But you have.”
Nate shifted in his seat, drawing my attention, and something about the way he inspected his cuffs made me suspicious. My eyes narrowed. “Nate? I have left the Society without being threatened…haven’t I?”
He wouldn’t meet my eyes, and my stomach bottomed out.
“Nate?” Heath prompted. “You said it was taken care of.”
“I’m working on it,” he muttered, swinging his gaze up to scowl at me. “This isn’t about that. You were telling us about this smoking gun of a diary you’ve been hiding from everyone.”
My jaw dropped in shock, processing what he was implying. “Nate, you can’t?—”
“The diary, Layne. Tell us about the diary. You said that the flagpole incident has happened before? When?” Nate was refusing to let me change the subject, and I glowered death back at him.
Still, I needed to finish explaining so we could finally be on the same page. “Yes. Abigail wrote about it happening to someone else in her initiate group, but it was done overnight and when they found the girl in the morning, she had frostbite so bad her little toe needed amputation? Or…something like that.”
“So it must have been later in the year,” Heath murmured thoughtfully. “It’s cold now, and being naked outside wouldn’t be good, but I don’t think it’s frostbite weather.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know for sure. When I first read the diary, I thought maybe it was just made up. An exercise in fiction or something. It wasn’t until I started doing some research and the details matched up that I believed her record.”
Nate looked angry and confused. Mostly angry, but probably because he was confused. “I don’t remember that happening, do any of you guys?”
The other boys and Carly all shook their heads, and it only just struck me that they would have known Abigail. They were all already at Nevaeh when Abigail was at school, when she was writing that diary. Surely they had seen the things she wrote about? Or…had been involved?
A chill ran through me and I hugged my arms around myself.
“Why didn’t you tell us about the diary, Ash?” Heath asked gently.
At the same time, Carter sat forward with intensity. “Is that how you made it out of the forest? Did Abigail go through the same thing?”
I chose to answer Carter, because Heath’s question was a whole lot harder. “Yeah. She had survived it and left as many details of the path she took as possible. I probably backtracked a dozen times, trying to remember what order things were in, but eventually…”
“Fucking hell,” Heath breathed, scrubbing a hand through his already mussed up hair.
“What about the other shit?” Nate pressed. “Did she write about anything else that’s been happening? Bart?”
I swallowed hard, then nodded. “Sort of. Nothing so specific but she wrote about a gala event where they had challenges, and when someone failed, they were beaten half to death.”
Carly gasped, pressing her hand to her mouth. “Martin.”
Carter blinked his confusion. “Those DBs we saw in robes that night…there was no reason for them to be there. I assumed it was just some of the grads playing pranks on first-timers.”
Nate was pissed right the hell off now, surging to his feet. “So all along, you’ve known what’s going to happen next. You could have warned any of us and you thought, nah I’ll just see how it all goes? What the fuck, Ashley? You could have died in that forest and you just figured it’d be fun to see if the diary entries were accurate?”
My lips parted in shock at his aggression. “You think I enjoyed that?! Why in the fuck would I think it would happen to me? Or to anyone for that matter? It could have all just been coincidence or…or…I don’t know!”
“Bullshit,” Nate spat. “I bet you?—”
“Okay, that’s enough!” Heath barked. “Ash, where’s the dairy now? Can we read it?”
I shook my head, glaring daggers up at Nate. “It went missing out of my room the weekend of the lake party.”
“She thought I stole it,” Nate elaborated. “Which I did not.”
“Then where’d it go?” Heath asked, clearly frustrated that it was taking so long to get all the relevant information.
I shrugged. “I have no idea. If Nate didn’t take it, then…maybe I lost it?” At this point I had to question everything, including myself. Also, it was a more comfortable idea than the alternative.
Nate scoffed. “Yeah right. As if you wouldn’t have turned your room upside down before accusing me.”
“So, someone else took it,” Heath concluded. “From your room, Ash, probably while you were sleeping. And this hasn’t scared the fuck out of you? You didn’t think you wanted to share this information with anyone else? What if that person returned and?—”
He cut himself off, visibly biting back the rest of his words and closing his eyes for a moment.
I said nothing. He was one hundred percent right, and I had very little justification for keeping the diary to myself other than the one obvious fact.
“You didn’t trust us,” Carter said, seeming to read my mind. “Which is fair, given how things were at the time.”
“But not since then. You could have told us at any point since then,” Royce argued, a deep scowl on his brow. “You still don’t trust us.”
I couldn’t tell him he was wrong, no matter how much it hurt to see how disappointed he was in that realization. Part of me really still didn’t trust them. Any of them. So I just hung my head and twisted my fingers, unable to find the words to make it all better without lying.
“You’re a fucking idiot, Layne,” Nate spat. “You’ve got some of the most loyal, determined, and well-connected men standing right here in this room ready to blow up their perfect lives to keep you safe and you still have trust issues? Pull your head out of your ass.”
I gaped at his cutting words. “Excuse me?”
His left eye twitched in fury. “What happens next, Ashley? Hmm? What should we be preparing for next ? Another beheading in your bed? More kidnapping and relocation? What’s it going to be?” His tone had shifted from frustrated to outright aggressive and it made me shrink back slightly.
Royce rose to his feet, putting a hand out. “Nate, that’s enough. You’ve made your point.”
Nate was too far gone in his anger, turning on Royce. “Of fucking course you’re leaping to her defense! You need to stop falling for other guys’ girlfriends, Royce, the pussy isn’t worth losing your friends over.”
Royce paled, glancing at me in irritation. “Nate, man, I’m sorry. Paige just?—”
“Paige?” Nate exclaimed, horrified. “I was talking about Ashley and Heath. You fucked Paige ?”
Royce reeled back, panic etched all over his face. “I thought you knew! Ash said you knew!”
“He did know,” I snapped, folding my arms. “He just chose not to believe me.”
Nate’s head looked like it was about to explode and a quick glance at Carly said she was watching the whole show so intently I bet she hadn’t blinked even once. Karma’s a bitch and all that.
“Come on, man,” Carter stepped in, trying to smooth things out. “Royce wasn’t exactly the only guy Paige cheated with.”
Nate gaped at him. “You too?”
Carter scoffed. “Not a chance in hell. No freaking way. I wouldn’t risk that for all the tea in China.”
“No,” Royce sneered. “You’ll just drag Ash into a classroom against her will for a quick fuck then crush her heart all over again when you’ve blown your load.”
“ What?!” Both Nate and Heath exploded at the same time, spinning on Carter in outrage. My face flamed and panic tears burned at the backs of my eyes. This whole thing was such a mess and I was hurting everyone around me.
Trembling, I slowly stood up and moved closer to the exit. “This is all my fault,” I said quietly. “I’m so sorry. I never meant?—”
“Damn fucking right it’s your fault!” Nate barked. “None of this would have happened if you never started school here. All you do is ruin lives , Layne. Just like your mom.”
That was the final straw for me. I turned on my heel and left the apartment, speed walking to the elevator and stabbing the call button repeatedly. Thankfully the car was right there and opened immediately, but there was still a tense, breathless moment waiting for the doors to shut before any of the guys could stop me.
But they didn’t even try. At the last moment, Carly slipped into the elevator. Just in time to wrap me in her arms as my tears started falling.
She said nothing, though, and I didn’t blame her. Royce’s statement that I still didn’t trust them included her too, and there was no way she’d missed it.
I was a trainwreck. No wonder none of my friendships ever lasted. Carly deserved better, and that knowledge only made me cry harder.