Chapter 25 Stetson
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
stetson
No matter which way I turn, it’s impossible to relax. To get comfortable enough to actually fall asleep. Despite my penny-pinching mentality, I invested in a decent bed. And for the price tag that came with it, I expect at least a solid six hours of shut-eye.
I’m tired. Yet, I can’t shut off my mind.
The hollow walls of my bedroom don’t talk back. They don’t comfort me or remind me of my tasks for tomorrow. They remain quiet and still. Everything is calm except for my restless thoughts.
I hate it. I hate the way our minds have the ability to deplete us of not only clarified thinking, but become our own worst enemies.
Hence, writing things down has been, in a way, therapeutic for me.
I check the alarm clock beside my bed and read the time.
1:00 a.m. Perfect. Only five more hours of this until morning.
It doesn’t help knowing Cove is only doors away, locked in a dungeon with that rich fuck. My need to rescue her is getting out of control. Spiraling more than she and I both need in order to get through the rest of her time here.
I’m not wrestling with Nate. I know that for a fact. I’ve thought through how I’m going to approach him, and all I can say is, he better watch his back. I think for the first time in my adult life, what I’m worried about is tomorrow.
I’m worried about what happens when Cove leaves. Will she return home, help her mom, and make plans with me? Will I even see her again? Or will everything that’s happened between us be something we forget?
I don’t want to sweep us under the rug and leave the mess for another day. I want to do this right.
We live in different states, but that’s a measly hindrance to me. There’s Coleson Ranch to consider. And Cove’s job with her round-the-clock travel schedule. So many questions left to be answered. And that’s if she even sees me as worth trying with?
Am I enough for her?
It’s clear she’s been hurt more than I ever realized, and I bet we’ve only just scratched the surface of those wounds.
I long for her in a way that scares me. And for a guy like me, that’s heavy.
There’s no use in trying to get myself back to sleep.
I’m wide awake, worrying about things I ultimately have no control over.
I toss the blanket off me and stand from the bed, headed toward the door, exiting my room.
I poke my head out, searching for signs of anyone awake, but quickly remind myself that this is my home.
I can do what I want.
The house is quiet, aside from the sound of the ice maker in the fridge refilling itself.
I pass the guest room Aunt Marge sleeps in, careful not to wake her.
Passing Cove’s door afterward is when I feel an anxious burning in my chest. I want to swing the door open and demand she sleep with me.
I pause against the cold wood, a glow from underneath shining into the dark hallway.
It’s quiet, which means they’re sleeping.
I know her and Austin aren’t real, but that doesn’t stop me from wondering if they sleep closely. Does he reach for her at night the way I long to? Does his hand slip up the softness of her thigh, desperate to touch her?
Cove wouldn’t allow it. I know that for a fact. But it doesn’t mean I have to like the possibility of it happening. I can’t protect her from out here. Not when she has a role to play. I now have a role to play.
But not for long.
However, I do find Austin harmless. He reminds me of someone who would do anything for attention, even if from the wrong people.
My guess is that he himself is clueless about the proposition Nate is playing out with Cove.
Which makes me slightly more ticked knowing the fucker legit thinks he’ll marry her.
Over my dead body.
With a heavy exhale and plans to get Cove alone in the morning, I head toward the kitchen with coffee on the brain.
I’m not like most people. Buddies of mine who drink coffee regularly can’t drink it past a certain time, or it keeps them up all night.
I’m the opposite. Coffee relaxes me. I’ve been drinking it black as coal since I was thirteen, my mother insistent upon waking me up with a cup on my bedside table every morning.
It’s a habit I haven’t kicked, and with no plans to.
I’m almost to the kitchen when a hushed voice catches my attention.
I can’t place the sound, but it’s close by.
Too close to be outside, which can only mean it’s coming from inside the house.
I turn my head to search the widespread living room, grinning at the sight of Prater passed out like a corpse on the sectional.
Looks like shotgunning those beers at the lake came back to bite him in the ass.
He’s got one leg draped across the back frame, the other half of his body hanging off the bottom cushion, halfway onto the floor.
Lunatic.
My footsteps are brought to a halt at the sound of muffled crying.
The same sound I heard before finding Prater, but more audible the closer I get.
Cove is seated at the kitchen island with her back to me, likely not hearing my entrance since her attention seems to be focused on whoever is on the phone.
I don’t take pride in being nosy, but worry strikes me in the chest at the sound of her sniffling. Why is she crying? Did something happen?
I linger back just a bit, not wanting to feel like an intruder to her conversation, but also needing to make sure she’s okay. I rest my head against the wall beside me.
Cove’s voice speaks quietly, “I miss you, Mom.”
Her mom.
She continues, and just when I thought I couldn’t fall for this woman more than I already have, she proves me wrong. “I admire you for working so hard, but I promise I’ll take care of everything. You won’t have to worry about a thing. It’s my turn to look out for you.”
She wipes at her eyes, drying tears I can’t see, but feel confident are streaming down her beautiful cheeks.
“We’re having fun. I promise. Betsy’s behavior is as unhinged as always, but I wouldn’t expect anything less.
I think she needed this trip just as much as I did.
Kimber has talked business with every guru we come in contact with. Again, all is the same.”
My kind girl. Lying about where she is to save her hero.
“I know. I’m sorry for calling so early.
I couldn’t sleep. Never realized how much I love my bed.
” Cove chuckles slightly, reaching for her neck, and the hair on mine immediately stands, concern flooding my thoughts.
“Three more days until I’m home, and we’ll come up with a plan, okay?
Tom will meet with us, and everything will be good again. ”
“Be safe, Ma. I love you beyond the stars. Text me when you get off work.”
Her heavy exhale tells me the call has ended, and I give her a moment to breathe before announcing my arrival.
I hate how defeated she looks. Much different than the woman I’ve been fortunate enough to know.
Confidence and strength are the only traits Cove allows anyone to see.
It’s her prideful side shining through, and rightfully so, given her career.
But I want her to let those walls down with me.
To take comfort in my encouragement and shelter over her.
I’ll rescue her indefinitely if it means she’ll stay.
But it’s up to her to let me. I know how conflicted her heart is right now, teetering on the line of playing her role with Nate to completion, but also saying fuck it and not letting the one man who was supposed to love her unconditionally dictate her steps.
Money changes everything, and it’s a good fucking thing I have plenty of it to give. I’ll give her the world and then some.
With her head resting on the marble countertop, I step behind her, careful not to startle her. “Can’t sleep?”
She doesn’t jump, but exhales as if she’s relieved to hear a familiar voice.
The moment her tired cognac eyes lock with mine, my suspicion about tears is confirmed.
“Oh, sweet girl,” I sigh before taking the seat beside her and turning her body to face me.
The house is quiet, and I know it wouldn’t take much to wake Austin, Nathaniel, and Aunt Marge up, but I need to comfort her.
“What can I do?” I reach for her face, my thumb absentmindedly wiping tears that have since dried.
Cove shakes her head solemnly. “Nothing. I’m okay. I’ll be okay.”
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard some of your conversation. That your mom on the phone?”
She nods. “Yeah.”
“It’s the middle of the night. You should be sleeping.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call my roommate someone I can fall into a deep slumber with,” she deadpans, and I instantly feel anger all over again.
But just this once, I bury it. “I guess I wanted to check on her. I know she’s stressed.
I’m just glad work is keeping her busy while I’m away.
She’s on second shift at the hospital right now. ”
“I understand that. I’m sure it’s hard not to worry about her when you’re traveling. Does she always work double shifts like this?”
Another nod. “A few times a week, yes.”
She must be exhausted. My blood boils knowing my so-called best friend is a major factor in Cove’s mom being overworked just to get by. It’s not supposed to be like that. It shouldn’t be like this.
I need to help. But how? What’s the best way to interfere without overstepping or overstaying my welcome in Cove’s life?
But I want to overstay, and not only that. I want to build a life and help rebuild her mom’s. I want to plant roots founded on trust and love, a future filled to the brim with a collection of memories and moments in our lives together.
I scratch my head, trying real fucking hard not to be overbearing. “I’m struggling with how to help, Cove. I’m a fixer. So, sitting back while you and your mom suffer is killing me. I need you to tell me what you need from me. Anything at all.”