Chapter 28 Cove
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
cove
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I’ve always wondered to what depths my favorite poets knew love.
Was it similar to the love they wrote about?
It’s one thing to write the act of being in love, and another to experience it with a full heart.
For your heart to tragically long for a person when they’re away and rejoice when they’re near.
William Shakespeare was fortunate enough to meet the love of his life at eighteen. That’s more than most can ever say.
Some people go their whole lives without finding that authentic kind of love and having it reciprocated in return. Edgar Allen Poe married his first cousin at the youngest of ages, only to lose her to illness just a few short years later.
I’m one of the lucky ones. And to be loved so fiercely by Stetson Cole?
I think that’s my life’s greatest achievement.
Leaving Coleson Ranch and the party abruptly was not on my agenda for the week, but after the catastrophe of confrontations, I knew I needed to get home and see my mom.
As much as the altercations killed me to watch, I knew it was bound to happen.
I just thought the day I finally got to put my sperm donor in his place would be one I’d feel better about. Not sad.
Because I do feel sad.
Not that saying the words out loud didn’t feel exhilarating—it did.
But I think Nathaniel’s lack of reaction and care is what stung the most. I mean, I knew he never cared about me.
He and my mom were young and never really loved each other, but they must have enough to have sex and get pregnant.
Except, she was mature enough to care for her responsibility—me.
Hearing how little I mattered to Nathaniel, to the point where he’d merely usher me away, adamantly, too, with a man who cares about nothing more than his image in the press and getting in my pants, hurt like a bitch.
I’m not sure I would have survived without Stetson.
He’s been so good to me.
I know I’m not alone anymore, but that doesn’t take away the fact that going there was for nothing.
Nothing in terms of helping my mom’s situation.
The house still needs restoration, and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that money doesn’t just appear from thin air.
As much as I really wish it would right now.
Depending on a man to fix my issues was my first mistake.
I texted Mom and Betsy on the flight over to let them know I’m headed home early. Thankfully, Abigail sent Granger to transport me on Stetson’s jet quickly. I’m not sure I could have handled being swarmed by other passengers on commercial.
My mind is in crisis management mode.
At this point, everything else can wait.
The drive from the airport to my penthouse gave me moments for self-reflection.
I never imagined I’d experience culture shock from one state to the next, but here I am.
Central Miami didn’t stop just because I left for a week.
The air still smells like salt and fuel.
Couples exercise down the streets together even in the early morning light.
And on the corner of every neighborhood block, a real estate agent presents the beauty of coastal Floridian homes to potential buyers.
Nothing has changed. Yet, at the same time, everything has.
I’ve changed. My heart has changed.
Being in the city feels lonelier than it did days ago. Or maybe it’s being in the city without Stetson? Or not being in Waterstone with Stetson?
“Way to make me worried sick over you,” Betsy snaps the moment I enter the penthouse. “Give me a hug, you annoying bitch.”
I shake my head and laugh. “Missed you too, Bets.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Enough of that. What’s going on? I almost called absent daddy myself to figure out what had you rushing home a few days early.”
I gape. “You called Nathaniel?”
“No, but I wanted to. Your text was so vague, Cove. Telling someone you’ll explain when you get there is like the most painful edging experience of one’s life.”
I abandon my bags and sit beside my best friend on the oversized chair. Betsy curls into me, and suddenly, all is right. “Or like that one time we both tried intermittent fasting. Remember we weren’t supposed to eat until noon, and we could barely focus on anything other than eating?”
“Ugh,” she groans. “That was torture. Kind of like this. Now, what happened? You were so close to getting the job done, girl. I’m shocked. Concerned for you, obviously, but shocked.”
I give her the whole spiel on what happened last night.
I decided to crash in the staff lounge at the airport after landing to get a few hours of rest before heading into the city to meet with my mom.
I knew stopping by the house was a nonnegotiable for Betsy.
And to be honest, I could use one of her pep talks right about now.
“I just couldn’t pretend anymore, Bet. Nathaniel was everything I feared him being in my head, but ten times worse. And don’t even get me started on Austin. I think I have a permanent kink in my neck from sleeping on the floor every night. Bastard couldn’t keep his pervy hands to himself.”
“Stetson actually let you sleep on the floor?” Betsy asks in disbelief.
I shrug. “If he had known while it was happening, absolutely not. But he didn’t find out until the party.”
“I still can’t believe your dad and him are best friends.”
“Were best friends. Thanks to me, I guess.” I shake my head, my mind feeling so fuzzy and equally upset and deliriously happy. “Right now, my main concern is figuring out what to do about the house. Now that the money from Nathaniel is a no-go, my only option is to take out a loan.”
“Cove. No. You are not taking out another loan. God, you’re going to run yourself dry. You have to be able to live.”
I nod. “And living here isn’t cheap.” That’s when a thought occurs to me. “Hey, Betsy?”
“Yes…” she draws out, already dreading what I’m about to say.
“How mad would you be if I told you I wanted to buy myself out of our loan?”
“Out of the penthouse? Our house together? You want to buy yourself out?” She panics, her neck flushing red the way it does when she’s under stress.
“I’m thinking about it. It’s the only reasonable option I have if I don’t want to take out more loans. But I will if I have to. You could refinance and probably get a better rate. I won’t ask for much from my share of the equity, just enough to pay for the renovations, and you can keep the rest.”
We’ve lived in this place for almost five years now, and it’s worth nearly triple what we paid for it. Betsy knows that, too, being a real estate agent herself. If there was any time to refinance and get a better interest rate, it’s now.
The economy is unpredictable enough.
“Cove…that’s a lot, babe. You’re risking everything to save this house. You’re sure your mom wants to keep it?”
I know she does. “She does. She would never ask for my help, though. I’m lucky she let me meet with the contractors and Tom. If she ever found out why I was in Texas…God, Betsy, she’d never forgive me.”
“Camille doesn’t play,” Betsy spits. “But how do you think she’ll react when she finds out you basically gave up half a million dollars in equity, all to pay off her old home?”
“Not well, but I don’t care. She sacrificed everything for me.”
“I just worry about you, Cove. Selfishly, I love you living here, but now that Stetson’s in the picture, I figured you’d finally settle down. Make plans with him.”
“I want to…”
She shoots up from the seat, eyes bugging wide like she can’t believe what she’s hearing. It’s nothing new for her. The wild woman is a loose cannon. “Okay, then ask Daddy Stetson for help.”
“No. No. I can’t believe you’d even say that. Just because he’s got money, that doesn’t make him my personal ATM.” Not that the thought didn’t cross my mind already, but I could never. Would never.
I stand and pace the living room, desperate for my brain to think of something helpful. A sly look crosses Betsy’s face. “Oh, you can’t tell me that man wouldn’t send fat bills flying your way if he got a little kitty action in return.”
The nearest pillow meets her pretty red head faster than she expects. “We’re talking over one hundred grand here, little hussy. Not one dollar bills.”
“It was just a suggestion.” She raises her hands in forfeit. As much as that sounds like a literal fantasy dream, I don’t want my relationship with Stetson to start off with me owing him something.
That gesture, which may be small to him at the time, will turn into resentment, and that’s a reality I couldn’t bear.
“I need to talk to my mom first. I do have some questions I want to ask her, anyway. She thinks we were on a trip together, so she’ll likely have a list of her own.
Then, I’ll bring up the house and try to brainstorm some other options together.
Who knows, maybe she’s made progress with something else? ”
“I’ll be drinking it works out,” Betsy declares, and I stare at her, puzzled.
“Drinking? Isn’t the term praying?” I laugh.
“I’ll be drinking and praying. At the same time, because god knows I need something to take off the edge of my anxiety.
” She stands quickly and grabs a bottle of wine from the wine fridge.
“Would you stop analyzing my drinking and praying, please? Go help your mom and get your cowboy daddy, alright?”
Knowing she’s overstimulated and drinking because she’s worried about me, I walk toward her and pull my best friend into a hug. “Not sure what I’d do without you, Bets.”
“Me either, babe,” Betsy mumbles against my shirt. “Just promise me you’ll think about yourself, too.”
“I promise.” And I do. For once, I know what I want.
Or should I say who I want?
Stet:
Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.
I’m coming back for you soon, Stet.