Chapter 11 #3
He shifts slightly and presses a soft, prolonged kiss to my cheek.
It’s not dramatic. But it feels seismic. Like the axis of my world just tilted. Like my body’s already aching for the place his lips didn’t land.
He pulls back, his smile soft and sleepy. “Thank you,” he whispers.
He finally stands, stretching with a yawn, and I watch him gather his things. Coat, scarf, phone. He glances back before leaving, his eyes locking with mine one last time.
“See you soon?” he asks.
I nod, unable to summon anything clever. Not anymore.
Just yes.
When the door clicks behind him, the apartment quiets. My fingers drift to where his lips touched. Even my shadows are still, savoring the rare calm.
But as minutes stretch, Levi’s warmth recedes and is replaced by something colder. Doubt seeps in. Reminding me of what I’ve risked. I broke my own rules tonight, the ones I made to survive this endless half life.
In all these years after the Act, my brothers never seemed to need rules like mine. Zane and Porter learned to live freely, to let go. But I couldn’t. I can’t. I was the one left behind, again, and someone had to keep order when everything else fell apart.
My shadows stir, restless and uneasy, echoing the fear I can’t silence.
If I lose control now…if I blur the line between what I want and what I’m meant to protect, I could jeopardize all of it. The loophole. The life I’ve carved. The fragile balance that’s kept me safe for centuries.
And then I’d have nothing left to stand on.
I grab my coat and yank it roughly over my wrinkled T-shirt and sweatpants, shoes half tied, hair refusing to obey. I’ve never looked less like myself, or maybe, for once, I look exactly like the man I am. Reckless, unraveling, reaching for something I was never meant to touch.
Levi knows, and that single truth is all I can think about.
· · ·
I’m breathless when I shove open city hall’s heavy wooden doors. My shadows coil around my feet, agitated by my loss of control as I storm toward the familiar office, the lone glow of a lamp beckoning me forward.
“Constance!” My voice cuts sharply through the stillness.
“Oh dear,” Constance says lightly, emerging from the room with a steaming cup of tea cradled between her hands. She looks me over, eyebrows arched in mild astonishment. “Someone’s certainly had an eventful night. Tell me, Hayden, is it laundry day?”
Lorraine steps out beside her, eyes amused. “Seems serious if you’ve abandoned your grooming standards.”
I grit my teeth. Embarrassment burns at the edges of my anger, but I push it aside, refusing to acknowledge their mockery.
“This isn’t a game,” I snap.
Their smiles suggest otherwise.
I force back the sharp retort pressing against my lips. “You knew what you were doing,” I growl. “You pushed me and made sure Levi was there to witness.”
Constance sips her tea. “Did we push? Interesting interpretation. I merely attended a party. You know how I love to mingle.”
I cross the space between us in three quick strides, closing the distance until I’m staring directly down at them. “Don’t insult me,” I snap. “This isn’t some accident or coincidence. This was deliberate.”
“Everything we do is deliberate,” Agnes murmurs quietly, appearing in the doorway behind the others, her eyes sharp. “You’ve known that for centuries.”
“Then why?” My voice cracks, revealing more vulnerability than I intended. “Why force my hand now, after all this time?”
Lorraine’s lips curve gently, eyes deceptively soft. “Force your hand? We didn’t make any decisions for you, Hayden. You told him because you believed he already knew.”
“You backed me into a corner,” I snap, shadows flaring. “You pushed him toward the truth.”
Agnes shrugs elegantly, infuriatingly detached. “We set things in motion. How you respond is entirely your own doing. Actions, consequences…you remember how it works.”
The frustration in my chest coils tighter, mixing dangerously with fear. I press my palms into the desk, leaning forward. “I’ve spent this mortal exile searching for a loophole in that damned contract…carefully, secretly, never drawing attention. Now Levi knows everything. What does it mean?”
Constance takes another slow sip, watching me thoughtfully. “What do you think it means?”
I glare at her. “That’s not an answer.”
“Oh, but isn’t it?” Lorraine says gently. “Perhaps the answers you seek aren’t found in paperwork and clauses.”
“Enough riddles,” I snap, standing upright, fists clenched. “I need to know what this means. Have I broken some rule? Have I endangered him? Or myself?”
Constance lifts a brow, calm as ever, like she’s indulging a child. “Well, haven’t you?”
A growl rumbles in my chest. “Stop speaking in circles. Why push Levi into this path if it risks everything I’ve protected?”
Agnes’s gaze cuts like glass. “Protected…or hoarded? Secrets. Distance. Loneliness. Centuries of it. Tell yourself it’s noble if you want, but cages can feel safe, too.”
The words settle, heavy and uncomfortable. I swallow hard, my throat tightening. “I’ve done what I had to do.”
Lorraine lifts her head, the faintest smile at the edge of her mouth. “Or just what you knew how to do?”
They watch me, patient and predatory. I realize they’re not going to offer me clarity or comfort, only knives disguised as riddles. I turn abruptly, pacing away to the far window overlooking the still-slumbering town. Dawn breaks slowly, spilling muted gold across rooftops.
“Levi knows who you are,” Constance says lightly, almost amused. “Curious, isn’t it…sometimes others see us long before we see ourselves.”
I close my eyes briefly, anger and relief warring inside me. Because the fear, fear for Levi, fear for my loophole…pales in comparison to how I felt when he looked at me and didn’t flinch.
He saw me and stayed. And after a lifetime being kept at arm’s length, I don’t know what to do with that.
“You can’t meddle like this,” I say, my voice softer now, the fight draining out of me like air from a punctured lung.
“We always meddle,” Lorraine says.
I exhale sharply, my shadows shifting restlessly at my feet. I turn back to face them. “What am I supposed to do now?”
Constance’s smile is infuriatingly calm. “You’re asking for rules to save you from a choice you’ve already made.”
I stare at them, these three impossible beings who have controlled my fate for so long, and know they’ll offer no clearer answers. No loopholes. No way out.
With one last weary glance, I turn to leave, the doors clicking softly shut behind me. Hiding shrank me. Choosing puts me on record. Either way it’s a decision.
Levi knows the truth. And for the first time in centuries, hiding isn’t an option.