Chapter 6
Six
A good brownie never screams.
Ever - Arienna
“Oh my gods, Fabia, look!” I squeal, clasping both my hands over my cheeks. “Isn’t he cute!”
The iridescent teal making up Hyatt’s thorax is my favourite colour in all of the Seven Planes. The rich plums and pinks of his abdomen are a close second. But it’s his large black eyes and dark-blue fuzzy antennas that I love the most. Hyatt is freaking cute. He’s going to get all the lady wasps.
Cursing, Fabia grabs my arm. “Why’s he already covered in blood?” As she runs her hands over my arms and chest, I mourn the fact that she doesn’t linger on my boobs. She doesn’t even give me a quick squeeze. What kind of friend is she?
“Are you hurt?” she demands.
“Well, I just stepped on my own foot, and my vag–”
“From Hyatt.” She shoves me away.
Ugh. Rude.
“No. I told you, Hyatt won’t hurt me.”
“Where’s all the blood from then?”
I wave my hand. “Oh, that? It’s probably Bo’s.”
“And who is that?”
“One of Hyatt’s brothers.” I cock my head to the side. “Ex-brother? Actually, you know what? I don’t even know if they have the same mum. They were all in separate cocoons when I brought them back –”
“You did what? How many are there?”
“Brothers?” Dear gods, brothers! That’s exactly what I need right now. Though not wasp brothers. Ew. Brownie brothers. Covered in mud as they wrestle. Wearing nothing but – No, no. That’ll take too long to wash off. And who am I kidding? I don’t need foreplay tonight. They can just –
Fabia snaps her fingers in front of my face.
“Hmm? Oh, at least six now.” Six! “But more are coming soon as most of them still haven’t hatched yet.” More!
If it wasn’t for Fabia, I’d have combusted at the thought of six or more men drilling into me.
But she looks like she wants to slap me.
And although a good brownie is never violent, Fabia did set Lief’s house on fire not too long ago.
She claimed it was an accident, but I’m pretty sure the only accident was that he wasn’t in it. Wisely, I take a step back.
“So can I, like, go back to the party now that Hyatt’s out of the box? We don’t have to set him free anymore, and –”
Fabia’s glare causes my hope to die. At this rate, I am never getting laid, let alone by six god-like brothers. Maybe I should just jump in front of Hyatt now, saving myself from the misery of forever having my mum’s butt on mine.
“No,” Fabia growls. “And do you want to know why?”
Shoulders down, I nod. Best to get this over with. She’s unreasonably stubborn when it comes to telling me off.
“Ask me why,” she says, her tone more venomous than any wasp.
I sigh, itching to go find Gerald. “Why?”
“Because he’s going to kill everyone!”
Oh yeah.
My eyes widen.
Drat. Oh yeah! Suddenly realising what I’ve done, I spin around and face the party.
There are thousands of brownies here. It’s literally the whole town. If everyone dies tonight, who will I have sex with?
Some people might be into necrophilia, but I sure as hel am not. I like my men moving. And warm. And their cocks actually erect. And not smelling like –
“Hyatt!” Waving my arms, I run out of the flower stalks towards him.
The wedding party has dissolved into pure chaos.
No one is dancing or fucking anymore. They are all standing in a serpentine line in front of the venue’s doors, waiting for their turn to enter.
Even the musicians and clowns have joined them.
Drat. Gerald is going to be working all night, fining everyone for being rude by ruining the party. And I need to get laid. Like, soon as. Before the ambrosia wears off, and I redevelop –I shudder– standards.
Heading for the wooden bar, I grab a bottle of ambrosia and guzzle as much as I can. Hopefully, this will keep me going until Gerald’s no longer busy. Or I find someone else to replace him.
I wrinkle my nose as I eye the rest of the bottle.
Nope. Even if I drink all of it, it won’t be enough to sway me into necrophilia. Shuddering, I drink some more to rid myself of such thoughts.
“You freaking idiots!” Fabia screams as she cuts through the line. “Just get inside!”
Gasping, I raise a hand to my mouth. A good brownie never screams. They never cut in line. And they certainly never do both at once.
Looking around the crowd, I search for Gerald. He will come hurrying over soon enough, with his little notepad out and scribbling fines for her left and right. I wonder if those two will ever get along. If they don’t, double date nights will be awkward.
As Fabia dashes inside, I drink the rest of the ambrosia in preparation of having to bail her out of jail.
Most brownies can get released on their own with a simple, “I promise not to do that again”, which takes two freaking seconds.
But she always makes it difficult. We’re there for bloody hours, arguing about dumb rules and being in cults and whatever else she talks about. Honestly, I don’t really pay attention.
Tossing the empty bottle away, I stare at the white venue doors. Is that Gerald standing beside one, holding it open?
I groan. Drat. It is. Forget him working all night; he will most definitely be dead soon as events like this never end well for the door holders.
Unless the monster is contained.
Remembering that’s what I ran out of the meadow for in the first place, I start to stumble towards Hyatt. “Hey, baby,” I coo as I approach him as he munches through the wedding cake. He always did have a sweet tooth. “I need you to –”
“Get the fuck inside!” Fabia screams as she runs back out of the venue, two bottles of mint spray in her hands.
With an angry buzz, Hyatt rises into the air. A shiver races through me. He’s a right dick when he’s annoyed – as Bo found out when he stole his treat this morning.
I hope, for Hyatt’s sake, that he’s more polite this time. Fabia is freaking scary when she’s angry, especially when it comes to dicks.
Just ask Lief. Homeless, traumatised Lief.
I bring the bottle back to my lips just as she reaches the fountain I picked out a few weeks ago.
Carved from stone, it depicts a man lying on his side in a pool of ambrosia.
One arm props up his chiselled jaw. The other has a hold of his dick.
Six delicious abs flow down his body. And a jet of bubbly liquid shoots out of his godly penis.
I sigh. What I wouldn’t give to find a man like that.
Diving into a roll, Fabia dodges Hyatt’s first attack. She comes back up on her feet, then shoves away the brownie who tried to give her a hand. Aiming a bottle at Hyatt, her eyes narrowing, she fires.
A stream of liquid mint arcs beside him as he weaves to the side. Buzzing angrily, he curls his bottom half, aiming his stinger right at her. As he flies in a straight line, Fabia holds her position and raises both bottles.
My mouth drops open in awe as she fires two streams directly at his face.
He pulls up, his wings flapping wildly, his body twisting and bobbing through the air as he tries to shake off the mint.
Diving on the nearest brownie, he wraps his legs around her head and stings her right in the mouth.
She falls, unable to gasp, her throat swelling up fast.
“You are all idiots!” Fabia screams as Hyatt charges at her again. She ducks and dives and fights and fires like a freaking badass. The line slowly moves behind her, everyone walking in an orderly and polite fashion.
Figuring I should go help before it gets out of hand, I take a step forward. The world tilts sharply. The floor comes up and meets my face. “Why, hello there,” I mumble against the cold grass. Kissing it, I giggle.
Grabbing hold of a chair, I pull myself up.
“Dear gods, there’s one… two... three of them!” I gasp as I watch three Hyatts and three Fabias battle it out. The three women are all now holding a smashed bottle in their hand. The three Hyatts buzz angrily, swooping and diving over the crowd.
Running towards them with open arms, I shout, “Stop!”
A flying shoe slams into my nose, dropping me to the ground. Groaning, I mumble, “So we meet again.” Even in pain, I am a freaking polite brownie.
Clutching my face, I crawl onto my hand and knees. I look up to find that the three wasps have disappeared. I really hope they’ve flown off. But I don’t get the chance to look around for them before my vision is blocked by three Fabias. And they all look pissed.
Climbing to my feet, I go on the defensive. That’s always the best course of action when it comes to talking to Mad Fabia. “Why did you never tell me you were a triplet?” I ask. “I thought we shared everything.”
All three of them roll their eyes. Oh yeah, they’re so related. They have that down pat.
“Like you told me when you picked up all the wasps?”
Drat. This was not supposed to backfire. Time to use the ‘can’t be mad at me because I did it for a good reason’ technique.
“But I only did it so they wouldn’t grow up like you.” It breaks my heart knowing she grew up thinking that no one, not even her parents, loved her. Having seen her pain, I can’t let anyone else go through that. The wasps were all alone before I found them, and no one should ever be alone.
“Like me?” she asks coldly.
Gods, they even all talk at the same time. That’s rude. Now I don’t know which one to address.
“Yeah, like you,” I say to the one in the middle, hoping that’s the right Fabia. “All orphaned and stuff with no one to love you. But then we met, and now you’re not alone. Isn’t that nice?”
They purse their lips together, and I know I’m getting through to them.
I smile. “But hey, it’s cool you’ve found your sisters. Isn’t that nice? Group hug!” Stumbling forward, I wrap my arms around the one I think is my best friend. She presses her palm against my face and shoves hard.
“Get off me, you twat!”
Ah, her expression of love is always so energised. This one is definitely the real Fabia.
“We still need to get the other wasps out of Brownston,” she hisses. “Do you have any brilliant plans for that?”
I nod vigorously. “Of course I do! I have the bestest plan ever!”