Chapter 33
Thirty-Three
A good brownie is never violent.
I’ll burn the world for her. - Arienna
I’m never coming out of my room again. Not even to kill him. I’m okay with dying now. After being shoved out of his room last night, all I wanted to do was hide in mine. But Jace stepped in front of me, blocking my way, and assured me he had something really important to show me.
Considering how bad of a brownie I’ve been recently, I decided to go with him to get some brownie points tallied on my soul. But his “really important thing”? His “endure a long walk with a toy vibrating inside you while your clothes are cut open for all to see” important thing?
It was bloody Karl.
Who was not an important thing at that moment. Yes, I was happy to see Richard hadn’t killed him, but, like, I could have been told that after I had the pleasure of coming in the privacy of my room. Or at least after I changed clothes.
But instead, Jace showed me to Karl.
Richard played with all the different frequencies of the toy.
I tried not to come as I listened to Karl’s apology.
But right as he was about to leave, I failed. I came in front of Jace. And my ex.
For the first time ever.
And just like that, all the brownie points I had hoped to collect instantly vanished.
Because a good brownie never makes their sex partner feel inadequate. They never critique their bed techniques. And they certainly never let them know that all the time they were together, they’d been faking it. I practically told Karl, “this is what my come face really looks like, dumbass”.
He was utterly embarrassed.
I was utterly embarrassed.
Jace walked me back to my rooms with a fucking hard-on and a cocky grin on his face, and I just know he’s given a full report to my king. So I am never, ever, ever coming out of my rooms.
Groaning, I shove my pillow over my face.
Ugh. If only my freaking wasps had done what they were supposed to, I wouldn’t be in this mess.
Were they not angry over having been left alone without much food?
They were murderously aggressive to me 80% of the time – on a good day, and yet, he waltzed in there with his macho chest and his hot, sexy charm, and they just rolled over for him.
The slutty bastards. Good riddance they were gone.
Why? Don’t like seeing how they take after mama?
I wince. Then wonder if maybe instead of trying to kill him, I should be killing me. I could give myself a nice, lovely death because the gods know, going to his room tonight is going to end in another disaster.
Especially since I still have no idea where to find some bloody poison.
Fabia!
She’ll know! Jerking upright, I toss my pillow to the side and scramble out of bed. Of course Fabia will know. She kills people all the time in her books. How did I not think to ask her before? Probably because you were too busy being seduced by your executioner.
My cheeks hot, I hurry over to my closet and yank open the door.
Grabbing a random jumpsuit –this one all black with a purple half-cape off the left shoulder– I start to get dressed so I can go find my friend.
Richard’s been holding her as collateral somewhere, but hopefully, I can still figure out a way to see her.
Crossing under the intricately carved archway separating my bedroom from my seating area, I stride towards the door. While I’m a few paces away, a knock sounds on it, and I instinctively call out, “Come in.”
Only to immediately freeze. Oh gods, what if that’s him?
I scramble back. The idea to hide pops into existence just as the door opens. I bolt into action, running towards my bedroom. Tripping over my feet, I tumble forward, hit the edge of the coffee table in front of the sofa, and then bounce onto the floor.
My cheeks heating, I roll onto my tummy and start to crawl beneath the table.
A firm hand wraps around my ankle and hauls me out.
“Ah!” I really thought I was going to be quick enough.
“Arienna!” Fabia says. “What are you doing?”
Breathing out in relief, I stop fighting and flip around to face her. “I thought you might be Richard.”
Her face hardens in an instant. “Has he hurt you?”
“No.”
I start to add, “Not yet,” but then I stop as I look her up and down. She’s breathing hard. Her lilac hair is sticking to her forehead as sweat glistens across her skin. Her eyes are filled with exhaustion and excitement, worry and fear. But it’s her clothes that tell me everything I need to know.
Gone is the suit she wore to my mum’s wedding. Now she’s dressed in leather, with a knife strapped to her hip. My eyes widen as I take her all in. “Have you been training with the fairies?”
A sheepish, guilty smile curves her lips for a second before it’s gone. “Don’t change the subject. Has he hurt you?”
I open my mouth, wanting to tell her everything.
But then I press my lips together. She’s dreamed of training as a warrior for years.
She has obsessed over the fairies for just as long.
I can’t take this from her, not when she never belonged in Brownston.
She has a chance to find a home here. With people who get her.
She’ll need that when I’m gone.
Shaking my head, I look away, searching for something that she’ll believe. “No. He’s uh… he’s not like the men in Brownston, if you know what I mean.”
“Is he making you uncomfortable? Because you can say no here. In fact, you should say no –”
“No,” I say. Then I smile. “He’s just… intense. And he” –I blush– “knows things about my body that I didn’t even know.” Like how pathetically weak-willed it is.
She glances away, a blush painting her own cheeks.
A small noise comes from the back of her throat – a note of understanding mixed with some sexual frustration of her own.
I suddenly wonder where Nicholas has been all this time given he didn’t go with us to Brownston. Grinning, I reckon I have a good idea.
“So who are you training with?” I tease.
She blushes hard, and I perk up, momentarily forgetting about my problems. She mumbles something incoherently.
“What?”
She sighs and flops down onto the white sofa, crossing her arms. I sit down beside her. “Fourteen to sixteen year olds,” she says louder.
I rear back in horror. “But those are teens!” My eyes drop to the knife at her hip. “And they’re all armed?”
“Yeah.”
“DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?”
She laughs. “There are healers on stand-by.”
I stare at her in horror.
“Relax. I haven’t got to training with weapons yet. I only started last night.” She raises a hand as she fights back a yawn. “All night.” Dropping her arm, she grins in awe. “But you should see what even the little kids can do with a blade.”
The weight that has been crushing my shoulders for the last day slowly eases.
Whenever I’m in her presence, all my troubles don’t seem that big anymore.
She gives me the strength to keep carrying on, so I know I will find a way to kill Richard even if I don’t ask her for help.
But right now, all I want to do is listen to her joy and see the light in her eyes.
“Echo –she’s the Head of the Royal Guard– said she’d be able to fast track me to be your guard if I do everything she says. So it might only be, like, two or three years before I can protect you on my own.”
“That’s amazing,” I say with a genuine smile. Poking her in the ribs, I tease, “So will you be guarding Nicholas too?”
She wiggles her head in a way that says both yes and no. “Nicholas has a separate guard to Richard, and you’ll have a separate guard too, but during coups –that’s when someone tries to kill the royal family– we all mix.”
She cracks her neck from side to side. Then stretches out a kink in her left shoulder. “There have been three coups during his reign – a record, you know.”
“Why?”
“The first one was simply because he’s a man and they’re a matriarchal society. Some idiots got it in their head that because they never saw Seqora’s –that’s his older sister and the one who ‘should have’ got the throne– body, then that meant he must’ve cheated to become king.”
I frown. “But didn’t he fight her inside a fairy ring?”
“Yep.”
“And once two people step inside it, no one can get out until one of them dies, right?”
“Yep.”
“So if he’s out, doesn’t that mean she’s dead?”
“Yes, but some people refuse to accept facts if they don’t fit their idea of reality.”
“Oh.” Because what else is there to say to that?
“The second,” Fabia continues, “was during that famine from a decade ago.”
I nod, remembering it well. It affected the entire forest; many animals and people died from starvation. There was so much death, even the necros in Brownston got bored of it. All funerals require orgies, but by the gods, there’s only so many of them you can have in a day. “And the third?”
“Because he opened the borders, believe it or not.” She leans back on the sofa and looks up at the high ceiling, her fingers interlocked behind her head.
“You know, when I saw him kill those two girls on your wedding night…” She trails off for a long moment before continuing, “I thought he was a monster.”
My breath hitches. Leaning forward, I desperately want to hear what she has to say.
“But he’s actually striving towards peace.
The Vylian king is even coming here next week to sign a treaty, and both sides will release their prisoners of war.
Everything he has done – and I’m not saying they’ve all been good things, but –” She looks at me and sighs.
“He really cares about his people.” She shakes her head with a grin.
“But of course you would get shackled to a ‘misunderstood ball of fluff’ in fairy form.”
My heart melts even as guilt gnaws at me. She is right though; with any other monster, I’d be sneaking them into my home. Taking care of them while it rained. Loving them while no one else dared.
Is he really that much different to Hyatt and Gionova? After all, they tried to kill me often too...
Before I can figure out an answer to that, Fabia scoots off the sofa and stands. “Sorry, but I have to get back. Echo’s only given me an hour to see you before my training starts again. But I’ll see you next time I’m allowed out, okay? And I’ll be guarding you as part of said training soon enough.”
Pain lances through me as I jump to my feet.
Wondering if this will be the last time I see her, I pull her into a hug.
But it isn’t the desperate cling to her that I want to do.
It isn’t the heartbreaking squeeze. So after a few seconds, she pushes me away like she always does, not knowing the pain inside.
A good brownie is very, very good at pretending they are okay, and for her, I’ll pretend even while I’m getting my intestines pulled out of my anus.
I’ll do anything at all to reduce her worry and pain.
Giving me a two-fingered wave, she disappears through the door, and I flop back on the sofa. Tears burning my eyes, I realise how happy she is here. For the first time in her life, she’s finally found a home.
So I better figure out how to kill Richard then, I decide.
Because I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him ruin this for her. She’s my bestie. Screw the rules. I’ll commit murder just for her.