Chapter 28
Sumner
Strangely, nothing hurt.
I was dizzy and sleepy. Otherwise I was numb.
The hits had left me hollow more than sore and talking to the officers felt automatic. I answered their questions, but the words felt distant. My focus kept slipping, and every time my head swam I had to press my palms to my knees and force myself back to reality.
When one officer asked me if I wanted to press charges against Joey, I was ready to give him a sarcastic answer. Of course, I wanted to press charges against the man who assaulted me for years and almost killed me the night before.
I couldn’t get myself to answer them that way, or even give them an annoyed look, but, luckily, I had Phoebe with me. She was the nurse who kept on checking on me all night, and when the cops came, I asked her to stay.
She continuously scrunched her nose at what the officers said, showing the annoyance I couldn’t.
“What a couple of losers,” she murmured once the cops were out of the room. “We’ve had many police officers show up at the ER, but never have I seen two so incompetent and disinterested.”
She wasn’t wrong. While the one looked bored with his job, the other seemed to only have been there to make a mockery out of this case.
“It’s fine,” I said, because it was over now. And knowing they were now on their way to arrest Joey lifted a weight off my shoulders.
“No, it’s actually not fine. The police is supposed to be invested in cases like these. Believe me…we’ve had about three more assault victims here in the past month, and every time they showed up, they looked like they weren’t taking it seriously. At all.”
Phoebe walked over to the table and poured me another glass of water before handing it to me.
“You know, I’m so sick of people acting so…nonchalant when it comes to women getting hurt. This is a serious matter, and you deserve all the attention and support.”
Her words made me smile, even for just a moment. “I’m just glad it’s over.”
She looked down at me with a worried frown. She didn’t know me, but she acted like we’ve been friends for years. That was nice.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Oh, don’t thank me. Unlike those cops, I care about how I do my job.”
I gave her a tight smile before taking a sip of my water.
“By the way. There’s someone outside who’d like to know how you’re doing.”
Sly…
My chest immediately tightened. I just wasn’t sure if it was happiness or pain. I looked down and swallowed hard.
“I’m not sure if I can face him. I hurt his feelings last night.” Because I told him he was the monster, when in reality, he wasn’t. He knew it. I knew it. But I still screamed at him.
“I promise you he’s not hurt. He spent all night out there.”
My chest clenched again, and this time, I knew it was a good feeling. I looked up at Phoebe and took a shaky breath. “Okay.”
“I’ll be right back,” she told me before leaving the room.
While I sat there alone, I thought about all the things I wanted to say to him. I wanted to apologize for screaming at him, for calling him a monster, and for not wanting him around. And I hoped he would understand that I didn’t do any of that on purpose.
Last night, when he walked into the room looking all broken, my mind couldn’t figure out what was real. I saw Joey instead of Sly, and everything spiraled out of control.
I held my breath when I heard the knock on my door, and I only dared to look up when it opened and closed.
Sly was standing there, keeping his distance while I played with my fingers to distract myself. He didn’t say anything at first. Just took me in and waited, giving me all the space that I needed.
That alone made me emotional. “Hi,” I finally said.
“Hey.” A small smile tugged at his lips. “How are you feeling?”
I shrugged. I didn’t think he wanted an actual answer because he could see the shape I was in. My left eye had shut almost completely, but I could still see through it well enough.
Hating how far away he stood, I patted the mattress next to me and said, “Come here.”
He hesitated. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He pressed his lips into a line and took a slow step forward, then another, and he looked like he was waiting for me to scream at him again. I hated that I had done that, because he truly didn’t deserve it.
“Come,” I nudged, holding out my hand for him.
When he took it, I pulled him closer with the little strength I had in me and made him sit down on the edge of the bed.
He looked me up and down, shaking his head while muttering a curse. “I’m so fucking sorry he did this to you, Sumner.”
I was sorry too, but I was used to it. I bit back a stupid grin. “To be fair…he’s done worse in the past.”
He shook his head again, squeezing my hand tightly. “Don’t say shit like that.”
“Sorry,” I whispered, dropping my gaze to our hands. “Humor’s just always been how I’ve dealt with it.”
“I get it.” He brushed his thumb along the back of my hand. “You just shouldn’t have to deal with this. Nobody should.”
I knew that, and I agreed. But life was unfair, and after being good all my life, and always being kind and respectful, I still became a victim of violence. Because the universe didn’t care what kind of person you are.
I looked at him again and tried to smile. “Thank you for still being here.”
“Are you kidding?” He sighed and reached up with his right hand to cup the side of my head as gently as he possibly could. “I would sleep on a damn chair in a cold waiting room every damn night for you.”
That got an actual laugh out of me. He managed to make me laugh without even trying, and since I’ve first met him, I had told myself to cherish it. To cherish him. Because he truly cared about me when I thought no person ever would.
“You’ve really been out there all night?” I asked, my voice soft.
“Of course. My neck’s all sore now, but it’ll pass.”
I furrowed my brows when I remembered that I wasn’t the only one being knocked off his bike. “Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”
He shook his head and gave me a smile that told me not to worry. “I’m fine.”
The memory of him lying there, not moving, came back, and it freaked me out. My heart started beating faster, and my hands started to sweat. “But you were…you didn’t move. Why didn’t you move?”
“Because I couldn’t,” he told me quietly, trying to keep me calm by taking both my hands in his. “I let them do a checkup on me, and the doctor said I must’ve hit my back so hard that I got temporarily paralyzed, but I’m much better now.”
“What?” I sucked in a shaky breath. “Oh my God, Sly…”
“Hey.” He smiled and patted my hands. “I’m okay. There are no signs of permanent damage.”
Good.
That’s good.
That explained why he couldn’t help me.
“Y-you—” I swallowed hard before asking a question I could’ve answered myself, but I needed to hear it from him. I needed the reassurance. “You would’ve helped me if you were able to move, right? You would’ve stopped him.”
“Of course I would’ve stopped him, Sumner. God, I would’ve killed the bastard if I had gotten my hands on him. And I’m so fucking angry that I didn’t.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
He stayed quiet for a moment, and I hated that look on his face. It wasn’t just the anger he carried toward Joey, but also the pain that I had caused by asking that question.
“Sly…” I took one hand out of his grip and touched his cheek gently. “I’m sorry. I know you would’ve done anything to save me, but I just—”
“Don’t.” He placed his hand over mine and brought it to his lips to kiss my palm. “You have every right to protect yourself. I know you trust me, and you never have to apologize for being too careful.”
It still wasn’t right.
I had put him in the same box as Joey before, and I was doing it again. Sly had proven to me many times before that he was nothing like him, and yet, I kept waiting for him to turn into someone he wasn’t. My mind still jumped to old fears before reason could catch up. It wasn’t fair to him.
“I know,” I said quietly. “It’s just hard to turn that part of my brain off. Even when I know I’m safe with you.”
He nodded, his eyes softer now. “It’s going to take time,” he said. “You don’t just walk away from something like that and feel normal again. You’re allowed to be scared, even of me.”
“No, that’s just not right,” I interrupted him, but he shook his head at me.
“You’re allowed to question things. And you’re allowed to question me.”
“But I don’t want to keep questioning you because deep down I know you would never hurt me.” Tears stung my eyes as I said those words. I was still so vulnerable, and I knew it would take a long time for me not to feel this way about any man.
“You’ll heal,” he said simply. “And when you do, you’ll see that I’m still right here. Still the same man who loves you for who you are.”
I tried to force any bad thoughts away, not wanting to make this hard for either of us.
He seemed to sense that, because his hand moved to the side of my head again. “You don’t have to force it, Sumner. You don’t have to be strong right now.”
“I want to be,” I said, my voice tight. “I’m tired of feeling broken.”
“You’re not broken. You’re tired. You’ve been surviving for too long. That’s not the same thing.”
My throat tighten at his words. No one had ever said it like that before. Well, to be fair, I never had anyone in my life care about me enough to say something like that. I looked at him for a long time, admiring the calmness in his eyes.
“You really think things can get better?” I asked, because, stupidly, I still had doubt.
“I don’t think it, I know it. Maybe not overnight, but they will.” He gave a small shrug. “We’ll find a way, and I’ll be right there by your side.”
He brought comfort over me by saying the simplest things, and my brain still wouldn’t comprehend why he was this good to me when there were many other women who deserved his love and affection.
I shook my head to get rid of those stupid thoughts, then I smiled, amazed by him and his ability to make me feel better. “You always know what to say.”
He grinned at me. “That’s because I’ve been rehearsing in my head all night.”
I laughed softly. “You were supposed to get some sleep. You’ve had a rough night too.”
“Yeah, well,” he shrugged with one shoulder. “I kept thinking about you. And about moving away.”
That made me raise a brow, and my stomach twist. “Moving away?”
“You and me, I mean,” he added quickly. “I thought about moving away with you. Somewhere that doesn’t carry the shadow of your past. Somewhere you can start fresh.”
For a moment, I didn’t say anything. I had never even dared to think about moving away. The idea scared me, but it also filled me with something I hadn’t felt in years—hope.
“You would really leave with me?”
“What, you think I would just send you on your way? Are you kidding me? I told you you’re stuck with me. Wherever you go, I’ll go.”
I took a deep breath and leaned forward to rest my head against his shoulder. “You make everything sound so simple.”
“It’s not, and I won’t sugarcoat it, baby. But we’ll make it work. One step at a time.”
“Okay,” I whispered, closing my eyes. “One step at a time.”