Chapter Three
~Leo~
The hum of a vehicle’s engine had always been a comforting sound to me: repetitive and predictable, just how I liked things.
At that precise moment, however, it was driving me insane.Darius steered one of the pack’s vans down the two-lane highway towards Montana as the convoy stretched ahead of us in a neat line.
In one of those vans, a few car-lengths ahead, sat Kalo, and the distance between us had my nerves frayed to hell.
We hadn’t spoken at all on the trek out of the Ravenstone territory, and when we reached the vans and everyone began to split up, I’d approached him as casually as I could and pointed at the black-sided van that would bring up the convoy’s rear.
“I’ll be riding in this one.”
He’d followed the direction of my point, acknowledged it with a small nod, and when the doors were opened and people started piling in, he got in one of the other vehicles instead.
I told myself it was fine. He’d asked for space, and I was giving that to him. Besides, it wasn’t like we could have a heart-to-heart with twelve other people sitting nearby.
Still, it didn’t change the fact that every passing mile felt like a punishment, reminding me of just how badly I’d screwed up.
The bond still pulsed, faint but steady beneath my ribs. I’d get used to the new sensation soon enough, I supposed, but for now, it served as a reminder that my mate was, at the very least, still alive.
That should’ve been enough, but my fingers tightened around the armrest until my knuckles went white as I tried to drown out all the self-recrimination circling inside my head.
“Damn, Leo,” Darius drawled from the driver’s seat, throwing me a sideways glance. “You planning to rip that thing off?”
Slowly, I released my grip and flexed out my hand. “Sorry.”
Silence stretched for a few beats, broken only by the whistle of wind buffeting the car’s window.
“You’re quiet,” Darius finally added when he accepted that no explanation was coming for my tense state.
“I’m always quiet.”
“No, you’re usually reminding me of all the things I’m supposed to be doing and am behind on.
Besides, even when you’re quiet, you’re not brooding quiet.
That’s more of a Vaughan thing.” He shot me another look, his dark eyes glinting with amusement.
“So, are you gonna tell me what’s got you wound tighter than a crossbow string? ”
“Nothing,” came my automatic reply.
He sniffed the air dramatically. “That’s not what my nose says.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Stop playing dumb. Your scent’s different.”
I blinked in surprise, feeling dumb since I didn’t know what he was talking about. “Different how?”
“Sort of like someone who just found their mate.”
Shit. I hadn’t realized it would be noticeable since Kalo hadn’t marked me. Apparently, that didn’t matter.
Fruitlessly, I racked my brain for an excuse that might explain it, but before I could say anything, Darius snorted. “Nice poker face. You can’t lie worth a damn, so just tell me already. Who is it, and why did we leave her behind?”
My mouth opened briefly before closing again.
He had a point; lying had never been my strong suit, and as I stared out at the endless ribbon of road stretching ahead of us, I knew there was no way I could keep him at bay for the entire drive.
Might as well just get it over with. Everyone would know soon enough anyway.
“It’s Kalo.”
Darius’ eyes went saucer-wide, his whole head turning to face me for so long that I had to point back at the road.
“Watch where you’re going!”
His head snapped back, but his surprise didn’t dissipate. “You mean… the Kalo? The genie?”
“Former genie,” I corrected.
“Sure. Former genie.” His grip tightened on the wheel, his eyes finally returning to normal as the shock began to fade. “Well, fuck. I didn’t see that coming.”
“Neither did I.”
He shot me another sidelong look, hesitating over his next words. “I, uh… I didn’t know you were into guys.”
“I’m not.” The words came out before I could really think them through, and when I realized how they sounded, I added a further clarification. “Or I didn’t think I was, anyway. I never really thought about it at all.”
Darius frowned. “What does that mean?”
I blew out a deep breath, trying to figure out how to put words to something that didn’t fit neatly into any of the categories people liked to use. “It means I never felt attracted to anyone before, not men and not women either. I thought maybe I was asexual, but it didn’t really seem to matter.”
Once again, his eyes left the road to linger on me. “Never? Seriously? Not even a crush?”
I shook my head once more for good measure. “Never.”
Darius still didn’t seem able to grasp it. “Not even back in training? None of the girls, or guys, did anything for you?”
“Never,” I repeated slowly, not sure how much clearer I could make it, but thankfully, Darius accepted my answer that time.
However, his reply still took me by surprise. “Well, that explains a lot.”
It was my turn to frown. “What does it explain?”
“Nothing bad,” he quickly assured me. “But you’ve always seemed kind of above all the relationship drama. Focused on work all the time. In high school, and after, the rest of us were running around half-crazy with hormones and you were living like a monk.”
The word struck a nerve, for some reason. “I’m not a monk.”
“I know, I just… well, fuck, Leo. I don’t know what to say. Kalo, huh?” He let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “You’ve got to admit, a genie… sorry, former genie… who’s several thousand years old is one hell of a first crush.”
My stomach twisted at the word crush. It made the situation sound simple, and almost juvenile, when things between me and Kalo felt impossibly complicated.
“You do like him, right?” Darius pressed.
“He’s…” The words evaporated before I could even finish forming a sentence, and I swallowed hard before starting over.
“I don’t even know how to explain it. He’s beautiful, yes, but it’s more than the way he looks.
There’s just something about him that’s magnetic, timeless and still completely new. ”
Darius’ lips twisted into a grin. “Yeah, you like him. I’ve never described anyone like that.”
I turned my attention to the side window and the green of the fir trees streaking past. “It doesn’t really matter how I feel. I marked him without his permission and I don’t know if he’ll get past that, or if he even wants to try.”
Darius’ smile softened into something more sympathetic. “What exactly happened?”
I gave him the short version, and Darius stayed silent for a long time afterwards, his eyes on the road as the van hummed its rhythm beneath us.
Finally, he asked the question I’d been asking myself all night as I stood watch outside Kalo’s closed bedroom door. “Do you think he’ll come around? What does your gut say?”
I could only give my honest answer. “I don’t know.”
He glanced over at me once more, his expression grim but his eyes kind.
“You’re a good man, Leo, and if you’re mates, it means you’re right for each other.
You just have to give him a chance to see it.
Look at Vaughan and Calista, or Felix and Evalina.
Hell, even Sav and Jasper, or Amanda and Troy.
None of them had a smooth smart, but somehow, they all got there. Maybe you will too.”
It certainly sounded appealing, but I’d always been far more comfortable dealing with certainties than possibilities, preferring to follow facts and figures over playing the odds. I wasn’t the gambling type, and somehow, I’d rolled the dice on the most important moment of my life.
Most people who bet big lost it all. There was no reason I should be the exception, but whenever my mate’s face flashed across my mind, I knew I had to find a way to try, no matter how hopeless it might be.