41. Chapter Forty-One
~Kalo~
The moment the words “I would choose you” left my mouth, a weight lifted from my chest.
It had nothing to do with the mate bond, though that still pulsed warmly beneath my skin, alive and vibrant where Leo’s mark rested against my neck. Rather, it came from letting go of the defensiveness I’d carried for so long around the idea of letting someone else have control over my life.
For millennia, attachment had meant vulnerability and loss, but as Leo kissed me on the edge of his carefully-made bed with his hand cupping my jaw like something precious, I realized that not every connection had to take something away from me.
Some might even give something back.
Leo challenged me in ways I hadn’t expected. He steadied me where I could be reckless, grounded me where I drifted, and somehow, impossibly, he made me feel safer without ever making me feel trapped.
We fit together, naturally if not seamlessly. The rough edges didn’t frighten me anymore; they felt like something we could learn together. And accepting that, saying out loud that I wanted him, that I wanted us, was the first step along that path.
And now that it had been said, I didn’t want this moment to pass as just one more thing we had to talk about. I didn’t want it to become another memory I looked back on with regret and what-ifs.
So, when Leo kissed me again, deeper than before, I caught hold of his shirt and pulled him backwards onto the mattress with me.
A startled laugh escaped him before it dissolved into a groan as I climbed into his lap, settling over him and pressing our bodies together. The heat of him beneath me sent pleasure curling low in my stomach, and Leo’s hands immediately found my waist, gripping instinctively.
“Kalo,” he breathed.
I rolled my hips slowly against him, earning another helpless sound from his throat, and smiled down at the way his composure immediately started to crack.
“Did you enjoy what I did earlier?” I asked softly. “When I put my finger inside you?”
The blush that spread across his face was answer enough, but after a moment, he nodded too. “Yes. I… I liked it.”
“Do you want to go further?”
Leo swallowed hard, sapphire eyes fixed on mine with an intensity that made my heart stutter. “I do. I did some research.”
“Research?” I repeated curiously.
His blush deepened to a magnificent crimson. “Online research, I mean. About preparation. And I… did what it suggested. Just in case.”
Of course he did. I had no idea when he’d done it, since we’d barely spent a moment apart, but it didn’t surprise me at all that he had.
Laughter bubbled out of me, lighter than air. “You assumed a lot.”
His expression turned adorably defensive. “I like being prepared.”
“I’ve noticed.”
A reluctant smile tugged at his mouth despite his embarrassment. “I wasn’t prepared for you, though. I don’t think anything could have prepared me for that.”
My heart melted all over again, and I leaned down and kissed him, savouring the warmth of his mouth against mine as his fingers slid beneath my shirt. We undressed each other gradually, with reverence rather than urgency, every touch lingering long enough to be felt fully.
It felt different from the other times we’d been intimate. Then, we’d been two people trying to steal a moment of happiness before disaster struck. Now, we stood on the edge of something entirely new.
Leo’s breathing grew uneven as I kissed my way down his throat and chest, taking my time to enjoy every reaction his body gave me. He was so responsive, so openly affected by every touch, and each soft gasp or shiver made affection swell painfully in my chest.
I wanted to make this good for him, not just physically but emotionally too. I wanted him to feel wanted, and safe, and loved.
The word startled me with its certainty.
It had taken months before I’d been ready to call what Akkara and I had together ‘love’.
It had felt fragile, like something I had to earn, and hide, and preserve at any cost, but Leo offered it freely.
Even if he hadn’t used the word yet, I felt it in every act of care and protection.
The realization settled quietly into place as I moved even lower.
Without me needing to ask, Leo reached into his bedside drawer and handed me a bottle of lube.
With one coated finger, I pressed gently at his hole while I dragged my tongue along the length of his hard cock.
He tensed instinctively at the first touch, but only for a moment.
Soon, the pleasure my tongue provided distracted him, and he relaxed, giving himself over to both desire and trust.
“You’re doing so well,” I murmured against his skin, and he released a shaky breath that made my heart swell.
I added a second finger as I took his cock fully into my mouth, pushing in a little deeper when he didn’t protest. The taste of him nearly distracted me, along with the almost fizzy sensation of the mate bond sparks along my tongue, but I kept my focus, pushing my fingers in deeper while his dick filled my mouth.
“Fuck, Kalo,” he groaned. “I can’t…”
He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before he finished down my throat, and I rotated my fingers while his body shuddered, making sure every inch of him I could reach was fully lubricated.
By the time I finally positioned myself over him, both of us were trembling.
“Trust me,” I whispered, and he nodded, his eyes dazed as he pulled his knees to his chest.
I pressed forward slowly, giving him time to adjust inch by inch. His face twisted briefly with discomfort before pleasure began to soften the tension from his expression.
“Kalo,” he whispered, almost sounding overwhelmed.
I bent to kiss him, grounding him as much as myself.
The connection between us flared brighter as we moved together, the mate bond humming beneath my skin with every thrust and touch until it became difficult to tell where physical sensation ended and emotional closeness began.
This was way more than just sex. It was intimacy in its rawest form, trust and belonging, and the future I’d finally admitted I wanted.
My movements grew faster as he gave himself over to me fully, and I whispered his name as my release hit.
“Leo.”
Leo’s head tipped back against the pillow as a broken sound escaped him, and so many emotions hit me so suddenly and fiercely that for a second, I could barely breathe around them.
“I love you.”
For a moment, I wasn’t even sure who’d said the words. They’d been on my mind, so it could have been me, but when Leo’s eyes widened in fear, I realized they’d come from him. His body stiffened, and in every tightened muscle, I could feel his terror that he’d gone too far.
Leaning down, I kissed him before he let that thought take hold. “I love you too.”
Leo’s arms wrapped around me as relief crashed through my body, almost dizzying in its intensity. Not my relief, though. It came from him, through our bond, connecting us even more closely together.
For so long, love had only ever brought pain into my life, but wrapped in Leo’s arms, with his heartbeat pounding steadily beneath my hand and our futures tangled together at last, it occurred to me that, perhaps, love could also be the thing that finally set me free.