Chapter Nine Decker
Chapter Nine
Decker
The door closed behind me with a soft snick. The room was beautiful in that over-the-top, ornate kind of way. But I only had eyes for Maia.
She still wore the blanket wrapped around her like a cloak, and her long red hair hung down her back in loose waves. Her face was still a little pale, and she tottered on those damn heels.
“Come on.” I hadn’t meant for the words to sound gruff, but they were just the same—a buildup of need, frustration, and worry.
Maia spun, nearly falling over. I caught her just in time, guiding her to sit on the four-poster bed. “Sorry,” she whispered.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.” I sank to the floor in front of her.
She watched me with curiosity. “I’m not so sure about that. Mauling you. Making you fight with your brother. Getting you mixed up in a murder investigation.”
“First of all, I’m a grown-ass adult. I make my own choices. That includes kissing you, punching my brother, and shutting down the cops.”
Maia tugged her lip between her teeth but nodded.
I dropped to my knees as my fingers moved to the tie at the back of Maia’s calf. Her skin was so smooth. As if it had been polished to a magical glow. “As hot as these are, they seem like a bit of a hazard.”
A strangled laugh left her throat. “They were an impulse purchase. But this is the first time I’ve worn them. Not exactly practical.”
My thumbs dug into her calf, massaging the spots where the straps had left marks.
Maia’s eyes fluttered closed. “That feels . . . amazing.”
I slid the heel off and moved to her other leg, following the same pattern. “Need proper care after a night in these.”
As the second shoe fell away, her eyes opened again. “Thanks for not throwing me to the wolves.”
“Not gonna let that douchebag corner you into a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable.” Just thinking about that manipulative ass made my pulse spike.
“Thank you,” she said again. “I can sleep on the couch.” She pointed at a love seat that was all of eighteen inches deep.
“You’re not sleeping on that,” I growled. “Birdie, you gave me the best kiss of my life. I think we can handle sharing a bed for one night.”
Her lips parted on a silent intake of breath. The berry stain had worn off in parts, but it only made her more beautiful somehow. “Of your life?” she squeaked.
Cute.
I leaned back on my heels and looked up at her. It was the first time I’d let myself look my fill. Normally I allowed myself only stolen glances. A hold of one, two, maybe three before forcing my gaze away. But now I memorized every inch I set my eyes on.
“Never felt anything like it,” I told her honestly.
Maia’s fingers lifted to her lips again as though she were remembering it. “Me neither.” Her gaze tracked over my face. “What does that mean?”
My gut twisted. There was so much I wanted to tell her, secrets I wanted to lay at her feet, but tonight wasn’t the night.
My hands curved around the backs of her calves, squeezing gently. “It can mean whatever you want it to.”
A simple truth. Because I would always choose her happiness over anything.
“But first I need you to eat.” I shoved to my feet, crossing to the small tray I’d brought up for us. After we’d been given our room keys, I’d asked Booker to watch over Maia while I made her a snack she’d actually eat.
I set the tray on the bed and kicked off my shoes before climbing onto the mattress. Maia’s lips curved as she turned, wrapping the blanket around herself tighter as she sat cross-legged. “Apples and cheese. My favorite after-school snack.”
“Pretentious man didn’t have any OREOs to top it off, but I did find these.” I tapped some kind of chocolate cookie.
Maia grabbed a piece of apple and a slice of cheese. “He’s really missing out.” She bit into the combination, her eyes closing for a moment as she took in the taste. “But he does stock good cheese.”
“The sharper the cheddar, the better?”
Maia’s eyes opened. “You always remember.”
I shrugged, not caring that it gave me away. “You do, too.”
She remembered my birthdays, big games, the snacks I ate before them. And she listened. I always found understanding in her quiet.
“I feel like I messed up my whole life,” Maia whispered, her eyes glistening.
Hell.
“Nothing here isn’t fixable.”
“I spent a decade with someone I’m not even sure likes me all that much. And I’m worried what that says about me. That I was willing to settle for the status quo, instead of fighting for what I wanted. Instead of living fully.”
Heaviness settled over me because that decade of less than began because of me. But she wasn’t entirely right, either.
“So one part of your life was settling. What about the rest of it? You like your job?” I already knew the answer, but I asked it anyway.
A genuine smile tugged at her lips. “I love it. I can’t imagine anything I’d want to do more.”
“How about the other people in your life? Your family? Your friends?” I challenged.
“The best of the best,” she admitted.
“Your hobbies?” I asked.
A soft laugh left her lips. “I still haven’t tackled Roller Derby like I wanted to, but I do hit up the free skate with Erik and Vi most weekends.”
I shook my head, trying to picture Maia playing the full-contact sport. My lips twitched at the image, but she was surprisingly fierce. I had no doubt she’d dominate. “It’s good to have goals.”
Maia traced a design on the comforter as she nibbled on her snack. “Thanks for reminding me. I think I had an early midlife crisis or something.”
I barked out a laugh. “More like a quarter-life crisis. You’re only twenty-five.”
“What about you?” she asked. “Are you happy?”
“Mostly.” I couldn’t tell her that it often felt like the only thing missing from my life was her. Because I wasn’t sure she was ready to hear that. “I’ve gotten to have so many amazing experiences because of what I do. But I’m ready to have a little more routine in my life. More normalcy.”
I wanted a family. And the rhythm of life with a partner. I wanted more quiet moments and a sense of purpose that was greater than just me.
“I get that. You’re on the road a lot. Has to be hard,” she surmised.
I wanted to tell her that I was retiring, moving back to Colorado, but I wasn’t sure Maia was ready for that.
And I sure as hell didn’t want to put pressure on her after everything she’d endured tonight.
“I think it’s more about what I come home to.
An empty house. Far away from my parents and the other people I care about. And I want a dang dog.”
Maia let out a giggle that I wanted to swallow whole. I wanted to feel the vibrations of it as I had her pressed against me. She beamed at me. “What kind do you want? Big or small?”
“Big. I want them to be able to go hiking with me and get out on the water.”
“You never know. A small dog could impress you with their hiking prowess,” Maia teased.
“Just no purse dogs for me.”
“I’m gonna get you one just to see the badass football star carting around his Chihuahua.”
My lips twitched. Who was I kidding? If she got me a dog with a rhinestone collar, I’d take it with me everywhere.
Maia shivered slightly, and I frowned. “Still cold?”
“I think I need a shower.”
Images of Maia in the shower a few feet away filled my mind. I cleared my throat. “Of course. That should help.”
She slid off the bed, dropping the blanket onto the mattress and grabbing some of the clothes the staff had left. But as she did, the tiny black dress rode up, revealing a sliver of her rounded ass cheeks.
I forced my gaze up. Think about game stats. Run plays in your head. Remember the way that nasty-ass locker room smells.
I went through the rotation over and over as the water turned on, and the tone of it changed. I knew the stream was hitting her body.
I’m going to hell.
But I would just have to be okay with it because I couldn’t stop thinking about Maia.
Then the lights cut out, and a scream tore through the air.