Chapter Twelve Maia
Chapter Twelve
Maia
Islipped into a bathroom, yet again running my hands under ice-cold water, but for a completely different reason. At least I wasn’t wearing the sky-high heels this time. Thankfully, the staff had given us all slippers.
But it didn’t change the fact that I was uncomfortable. As if my skin was too tight for my body. Because the idea of not seeing Decker for months, and only in passing after a game or when he was home on a break, killed me. I couldn’t unknow what it was like to be with him. And I didn’t want to.
I swallowed back the lump of emotion in my throat. I’d missed the miracle that had been right in front of my eyes for so long. Or maybe I hadn’t allowed myself to see it. Because then I would’ve had to hurt someone I cared about at the time.
But now I didn’t have to make that choice. All I had to do was be brave. And I was ready for that.
Shutting off the water, I dried my hands and stepped out into the hallway. Unfortunately, it was far from empty, and I nearly walked right into Jackson.
There was bruising along his jaw and a sheepish look in his brown eyes. “Can we talk?”
I let out a long breath and nodded. Better to just get it over with. Because there were things I needed to say to him, too.
“There’s some weird billiards room over here.” Jackson motioned to an open door across the hall.
We moved inside, but when he went to close the door, I shook my head. “Leave it open, please.”
“Baby, it’s me,” Jackson said.
Baby.
It had always been baby or babe. It wasn’t that I minded either; it was just that neither of them really meant anything. They didn’t carry any deep knowledge of me or a story the way Birdie did.
“Please don’t call me that.”
I recognized the petulant look on Jackson’s face instantly, but he managed to cover it quickly.
“I made a mistake,” he began. “I’ve been stressed, and I did something stupid. We got together so young, and—”
“You never loved me.”
My words had Jackson reeling back like I’d slapped him. “How can you say that?”
“I’m not sure you even know what it means to love someone. And I don’t know why because you were surrounded by so much of it. Your parents. Your grandparents. Deck.”
Jackson’s expression hardened at his brother’s name.
“It’s okay that you never loved me,” I hurried on. “Because I don’t love you.”
That hard expression turned more than a little pissed off.
But I pushed on. “I think maybe I did once. Puppy love. But you ruined it. You took and took and took, and you never gave. I should’ve recognized it sooner, but I didn’t.”
“That’s not true,” Jackson spat.
“What about when my grandma died, and I needed someone to go with me to the funeral? I was so upset, I didn’t want to make the two-hour drive on my own, and my parents were already there.”
A muscle fluttered in Jackson’s cheek. “I had an important meeting.”
It was always the things that were important to him. Never to me. My things were silly or insignificant, and his were serious and valuable.
“And when my car broke down in a bad part of downtown in high school? When emergency road assistance would be another two hours?” I asked, a heaviness settling over me.
“I was in the middle of a tennis lesson. Those are expensive, Maia. And I’d made a commitment.”
An empty laugh left me. “A commitment to everyone but me.”
I’d been so scared sitting there all alone.
But I hadn’t wanted my parents to know that I’d gone somewhere they wouldn’t allow.
So I’d finally texted Deck. He’d been there in under twenty minutes, even though the drive should’ve taken him thirty.
At the time I’d thought he was pissed at me, but looking back on it now, I could see that he wasn’t mad at me at all.
He was furious at Jackson and that I was in that part of town in the first place.
“I made commitments to you, Maia. I’ve been with you for a damn decade.”
I didn’t listen. “What about when I was freaking about that tax notice I got, and even though my boyfriend is a freaking finance bro, he wouldn’t help me?”
Jackson scowled in my direction. “Unlike some people, I have a real job, and I had responsibilities to my company at the time.”
“What about when she had appendicitis two years ago?” a new voice asked.
I glanced over to see Decker stepping into the room, a look of fury on his face.
“I was in San Francisco, you prick,” Jackson snapped.
My expression softened at Deck’s arrival. “He did send me you.”
Decker had been right by my bedside when I woke from surgery. He’d been the one to take me home and get me settled. He’d helped me to the bathroom and made food for me. Stocked my fridge so I’d be good to go when he left.
Deck shook his head. “Jackson didn’t send me.”
Confusion washed over me. “But you were there.”
“Mom said she was worried about you. They were on that cruise with your parents and couldn’t get back.”
Realization dawned. “Jackson wouldn’t even take a two-hour flight from San Francisco, and you flew all the way across the country?”
“Got fined and had to sit out a game, too,” Booker said as he stepped into the room.
My jaw dropped. “What? Deck, you didn’t. I thought you had a minor injury.”
He shrugged. “Someone needed to show you that it’s not that hard.”
Confusion swept over me again. “What isn’t?”
“Showing up for the people you love.”