Chapter 21 #2
“She seems to have exactly the girl you’re looking for.”
Time stops. The Emperor, Robin, the wine and the music and the plants and perfumes and every awful spirit in this place come to a standstill.
“Exactly the girl?” I repeat.
“A pretty little blonde thing, just like you asked for. Gray eyes.” She lowers her voice to an intimacy. “And she’s about to be up for grabs.”
“What do you mean?” I bark out. “Who’s Madeleine?”
I’ve forgotten myself. It feels almost as if two years of fawning at this woman’s feet falls in one big heap with the snap of her smile to a frown.
“I’m sorry. Sorry. Um. Y-you were saying?”
There’s a slight wrinkle at the side of her mouth, but she keeps talking, if a little more clipped than before. “She’s been with her for a few months now. But the girl’s unruly. Unbreakable. Yet as pretty a girl as you ever saw. And I thought, if anyone could handle her…”
“I would be forever in your debt,” I rush out, as supplicatory as a man ever was. But realizing how untoward I probably sound in my eagerness, I add, “My housekeeper, she… she would like a companion. Someone she can, sort of, bring up.”
“Oh, it’s your housekeeper who very specifically wants a pretty thirteen-year-old blonde girl with gray eyes in the house?”
Her words sicken me. Her knowing smile and raised eyebrow make it a thousand times worse.
But this isn’t the time to lose her favor by letting her know what I really think.
My own smile makes me want to vomit, and I can only muster a nod in response.
“Don’t worry,” she replies. “A girl like that is hot property for a reason. You’re not the only one who’d want her. I’m telling you first as thanks for finding Robin for me. You scratch my back, I scratch yours, correct?”
“Absolutely, Cornelia.”
“And you know,” she steps a little closer, her tone having returned to the casual confidence we shared before my blunder, “I’m not completely without heart.
She’s been in a female household up until now, but I know a lot of these men are just waiting to sink their teeth into her.
And I believe you’re… She might fare better with you. ”
Her clear sapphire eyes meet mine, sealing a deal with me.
I don’t even know what to make of it. We all know the sort of fate that awaits most of these girls.
I’d never considered the idea that same fate with me might be better than it would be with one of these rich men.
It’s an odd sort of sympathy this woman has, brokering the girl away regardless, but trying to make it somehow slightly less awful.
Maybe it helps her sleep at night.
But I’m thankful to her. Esme, if that is the girl she’s found, is of my island and my people. She’s one of mine. And she’s under my protection until I can get her back to Robin.
“I promise you, she’ll find a good home with me and Maria. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I’m going to win this season, and next year, I’ll have the pick of the bunch ready for you again, from day one.”
“Good to hear. I’m meeting Madeleine a few days from now. If she agrees, we’ll skip the auction and you can buy her outright. I’ll have her sent to you so you can assess her first, of course, but I can’t imagine you’ll not want her.”
Having seen someone she apparently knows across the room, she’s about to step away, but she pauses to add, “Only, keep your hands off her until you’ve paid.”
I drop my head to hide the heat in my cheeks. “Yes. Yes, of course.”
“Good man.” And away she goes, off to make whatever deal she’s making next, leaving me reeling.
I want to tell Robin. I want so badly for him to know this. I’ve been looking for her for months now, just in case she was taken too, and it’s the first solid lead.
But if it’s not Esme, I know he’ll be crushed.
I can’t tell him now.
I’ll wait. And a few days hence, I’ll know for sure.
Yet I find myself searching for him.
He’s no longer at the table.
Relief sweeps me to know he must have extricated himself from the Emperor, so I move deeper into the room, feeling a little more confident, happier, ready to get my job done and mingle with these animals.
But that’s when I finally set eyes on him.
His back’s against the wall, in a distant corner of the ballroom. I know the look on his face. He’s furious, trying to push down the urge to strike. Because the Emperor’s there, between us, and his filthy fingers are on Robin’s beautiful cheek.
In a flash, I see everything that man has put me through. Every unwanted touch, every humiliation, every indignity. But all of it visited on Robin.
There’s no thought to the action. My body moves automatically, like it does during a match when I know all my opponent’s attacks and exactly how to counter them.
It’s calm, and it’s graceful, and it’s targeted.
And before I know it, my hand’s inside the Emperor’s robe, the flesh of his hip cool and soft, nothing like the man I really want to hold.
“You haven’t come to see me yet, Emperor. ”
“Marco.” He sighs out the second half of my name, a soft coo, while he traces his fingers up my arm. “You seemed busy.”
“Not busy enough,” I reply provocatively.
His laugh is slow and smug. And even if he looks over at Robin, I can’t stand to do the same. I can feel his eyes burning into me, and if I meet them even once, I’ll break.
“I was just talking to Robin here,” he says, so I cut him off.
“Who?”
His eyes skip back and forth between us, then he breaks into a chuckle. “Oh, Marco. Don’t you worry. You’ll always be my number one.” He accompanies the reassurance with his finger running from my lips down to the point of my chin.
Robin’s head dips, so I sneak a glance at him.
Sandy hair falling in his steely eyes, fixed on the floor, an angry flush about his cheeks.
I keep my voice low, my lips close to the Emperor’s ear, because I don’t want Robin to hear, even though he’ll figure out what I’ve said all too soon. “I realize it’s indiscreet but… seeing you in this… I don’t know if I can wait…”
His hand clenches on my biceps. “Naughty boy,” he declares, far too audibly. Then to Robin, whose head snapped up at the words, “You’ll excuse us. We have business to attend to.”
And he doesn’t let go of me once as he drags me away, regardless of who sees.
They all know. They all whisper, laugh, roll their eyes. Not one of them cares. Not a single one ever has or ever would step in to help.
Julius is perhaps the worst, his lip raised, pure hate-filled disdain hurled at me from across the room.
But it’s not Robin being dragged away to do this. It’s me. And even if he hates me, I’m thankful for that.
So I walk on, out the gilded doors, through the towering marble hall, past the statues, and the paintings of the ancient civilizations he’s desperate to replicate, along the cool and perfumed walkway, and to his office, the closest privacy to the ballroom.
The door slams closed, and reality sets in.
I knew what I was doing. A thousand times over, I knew. I did it in front of every sponsor and every man I have to train and kill in the arena. I did it for him, and I would do it again.
But now I’m cold.
Now my back’s against the heavy mahogany door, and it’s just the two of us.
It’s time.
His fingers glide over the curves of my chest, and my body recoils, nothing like the fire that Robin lights beneath my skin.
He pulls the top of my robe open, and my nipples harden with the cool air, nothing like the desire one look from Robin sparks in my chest.
“You couldn’t wait?” he asks.
“Not another second.”
It’s some kind of truth. Unlike the lie I try to tell myself when I close my eyes and picture Robin. When I try to think of him on my couch, in the locker room, on the floor of the gym when he let me brush his beautiful hair… When he let me hold him in my bed…
But the lips that meet mine are thin, shaped with cruelty, and impossible to imagine away. The smell is wealth and a type of power, but there’s no sunshine here, no real strength. None of the things I crave daily—that I tasted once—and now they’re gone and here I am again and maybe forever.
I press back against him, try to make myself want this, try to think of what’s waiting for me if I can just get through the rest of this season.
He grabs my hand, places my open palm on his stomach, then forces it down, slowly, like I should be enjoying this.
“What the hell is going on?” The sharp sound snaps the room in two.
Julius, standing in the open doorway across the room.
“Get out!” the Emperor snaps, wrenching his robe closed. I do the same, only a little slower, so shocked at the entry. “What are you doing, Julius!”
“You are supposed to be throwing a party,” Julius seethes through gritted teeth. “Everyone knows what you’re doing in here. You’re making a laughingstock out of the whole family.”
“What exactly do you think parties are for?” The Emperor swishes away from me, straight to the table where he put down his half-finished wine.
I keep dead still. I can’t afford to piss either of these men off, even if one already hates me. Julius will take over eventually, and unless I’m dead or gone by then, it’s already going to be a very bad time.
He strides in from the balcony, which runs the length of the palace, a blast of wind and a ruffle of curtains following him. “Do you know how much money is in that room?”
“Just who do you think assembled them?” the Emperor throws back. “You? You’ve never done an honest day’s work in your life.”
“Honest?” Julius gasps out, mockingly. “Nothing so honest as fucking your star player in front of a hundred guests.”
“Shut your stupid mouth, boy, or you’ll be going back in there with a bloody nose.”
It’s not the first time I’ve seen them fight.
I’ve watched Julius grow from a guarded seventeen-year-old into this impetuous, turbulent young man.
They’ve fought like this in front of me on numerous occasions, as though I’m nothing more than another piece of furniture, which, all things considered, is probably all I am to either of them.
Julius settles his sharp blue eyes on me. “Get out. Do what you were brought here to do before they lose all interest in you.”
I scan the Emperor for direction.
But he only runs his eyes over me, then mutters to Julius, “He’s worth no less for having had my dick in him.”
Julius turns away, his hand at his temple, and I wish I could do the same. I don’t remember a time I’ve felt so mortified. Not for years, certainly. It’s eviscerating. And right about then it occurs to me Julius is the only thing standing between the Emperor and me being down on my knees.
So I shoot Julius a look, compulsively. And I’m embarrassed that I feel the plea in it. Some desperation behind the stoic facade I’m trying so hard to keep.
He looks at me for a few long seconds, swishes his silvery hair back with a toss of his head, and suddenly more calm than before, states, “I know the Crown Shipping contract is due to be decided tonight. I think Captain Verus has the best chance of winning that game, and therefore, I think he should be out there talking with Jonathan Sinclair. That is, if you still want his fleet power.”
The Emperor lets out a loud groan, as if the making of his empire’s fortune is the most irritating thing that’s happened to him this year. He settles two hands on the dresser, head sunk, and mumbles, “Go, Marco.”
“Sir.” I pass a final glance across the room at Julius, but he’s already turned away, flipping through a ledger on the desk, awaiting my departure.
I make it fast, in case either of them changes their mind.
Like a ghost, I slip out into the dark hall, letting the door close softly behind me.
Then I take in one long, desperately needed, deep breath of air.
The lot of it’s slammed out of me when a hand takes my throat, swinging me around. My back hits the wall, and Robin’s lips, an inch from mine, rasp out his furious, “What the fuck do you think you’re playing at?”