Chapter 2
Sephtis
I was reluctant to leave Caiden, wary that another of my kind would find him, but there was no other way. There was nothing else I could do.
I wasn’t even sure if this was going to work… but…
I found the cupid standing over the body of a human, though I could tell by the black tips of their nails that they’d been close to turning into an Enmity.
It was easy to find Wren, because the lure of death followed him wherever he went.
He liked his job… perhaps a little too much.
I leaned down, brushing my fingers along the skin of the man on the ground.
There was still enough life in him that when I pressed my hand to the center of his chest, I sensed him there, but he was fractured.
Broken. There were only pieces of him left behind.
The darkness of hatred had already swallowed too much of him for even Death to make him whole.
The soul hounds would come for him soon.
“Why is it always you who shows up?” Wren’s voice was casual, a little breathless from the fight he’d just been in. When I glanced up at him, he was watching me with curious eyes as I brushed my fingers along the man’s chest one more time and then stood to face him.
“This is my territory.” I answered truthfully. There were as many Reapers as there was need, but we stuck to our own areas. It kept us busy… and when our only purpose was our job, being busy was all there was.
“Right… well, if you aren’t going to clean that up…
” He gestured to the body on the ground and I frowned.
When I didn’t move, he twitched in irritation, the dark wings that I’d seen him with so often springing from his back like they were restless to move.
“I should take care of it. At least make it look like something other than an arrow took him…”
He trailed off as I stepped between him and the body.
“I need your help.”
Wren’s purple eyes went just a little wide.
The surprise on his face was there and gone in a flash before he stepped around me and took a blade from his side.
I watched in silence as he covered his tracks, making it look for all the world like the dead man on the ground had been stabbed instead of shot.
When he was satisfied, he rustled his wings as he stood, glancing at me through dark hair.
“What’s in it for me?”
Ah. Of course. We were friendly, but were we really friends? A cupid who couldn’t feel love and a Reaper who couldn’t feel anything at all… we were certainly a pair.
Except… I knew there were times when Wren thought he could be more. There were times, for a brief moment, when cupids had the ability to feel.
And I…
“Anything.” The word came out softly, a promise too dangerous to make, but one I was willing to keep.
I brought my hand to my throat and pulled the pendant I wore from around my neck, speaking softly under my breath as I did.
The metal flared bright, binding the promise I was making to the chain.
“If you call, I’ll come for whatever you need.
” I held it between us, and he looked the necklace over in curiosity.
“What do you want?” His tone was cautious, but his fingers trailed the pendant I offered like it was too tempting to pass up. It should have been—no one curried favor with a Reaper. No one had an in with Death.
I really was risking everything, but I knew I was asking him to risk things too. I dropped my eyes to the ground, letting my dark hair trail into my face as I spoke. “I want to feel.”
There were a few seconds where I could almost swear I heard his heartbeat—where I would have heard mine if there was anything in my chest. Instead, there was the cool rush of air, and somewhere in the distance Caiden’s soul still calling me to take it, demanding someone ferry him to the afterlife.
And I…
“Sephtis… do you know what you’re asking?” Wren’s voice was wary. When I looked up and nodded at him, he bit his lower lip. But his expression was curious, and it was that curiosity—more than anything, I think—that made him take the pendant from my hand. “We have to go back to Love’s Ace.”
I nodded. “I’ll meet you there.”
He looked me over as though he almost wanted to take back the offer, but when his wings rustled again and he nodded once before taking flight, I knew temptation and curiosity were too much for him to resist. I closed my eyes and thought of the hotel that I knew housed many of the supernatural creatures in the city.
When my lids fluttered open, I was standing there, just on the perimeter, hidden in the tree line and out of sight of anyone inside.
Wren’s boss found it funny to toy with the world around him.
Fate was a strange creature like that, though… always meddling where it didn’t belong.
I needed to make sure he didn’t see me here now, tempting his cupid to do something forbidden. Maybe if I offered to tell Wren who his boss really was, he’d help me without a favor.
Then again, the last thing I needed was to be on Fate’s bad side. There was already the chance he’d orchestrated what was happening now on a whim.
The sound of a body landing next to me a few minutes later told me Wren had spotted me from the sky.
“I’ll just be a minute. Wait here.” He shoved my chest, backing me further into the trees.
Maybe he could sense the urgency spilling through the tension in my shoulders—it was a strange thing, a draw similar to what I felt when the dying called me.
Or maybe it was simply the fact that in all the time we’d known each other, in the countless moments our paths had crossed… he’d never seen me act like I wanted anything.
Wren was in and out of the building in a rush of wings, and as soon as his feet hit the ground and I saw the vial of white shimmering liquid in his hand, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to go back.
I was really doing this.
The hospital was only a few blocks from the hotel. When I told Wren where we were going, I watched the curiosity on his face deepen before I disappeared.
He met me on the roof of the hospital and followed me as I led him inside.
“What are we doing here, Sephtis?” His fingers wrapped around the vial of Ardor, drawing it close to his chest. Close to the pendant he’d slipped around his neck, half hidden by the dark button-up he wore.
“You’ll see.” It was the only answer I could give as I led him into Caiden’s room, letting my presence wash over him so no one saw either of us.
As soon as we stepped through the door, his eyes widened and he paused.
I kept moving, drawn back to the bedside.
My fingers spilled forward almost helplessly to trace the frail line of Caiden’s hand.
I could stave off death for a short time, but I could still sense it lingering around him. What I was doing had already defied all nature. Why not one more sin?
“He’s dying.” I said it carefully, and Wren’s head tilted as he looked over the body on the bed before closing the door behind him.
“Obviously.”
“He…” I paused, my fingers drifting to his chest, to his heart still beating. “I need to understand him.”
I need to feel him.
I didn’t say that part aloud—it seemed too much, tantamount to insanity.
“Sephtis…” Wren twitched his fingers, and the vial in his hand shimmered in the low lighting of the room. “I don’t know if it’ll work on you. When we drink it… it mingles with our—”
“Pull an arrow.” My voice was calm, even though his eyes widened again.
“What?”
“Pull an arrow, Wren.”
His expression was doubtful as he reached behind him, and an arrow manifested at the snap of his fingers. It twisted in a soft haze of white light.
It wasn’t an arrow that brought soulmates together… but it made sense, didn’t it? If I had a soul, it was stagnant in my chest. We were made from the essence of the dead, so maybe something close to a soul lingered beneath our skin, but…
“What’s that one for?” I asked in a hushed voice. Wren looked at the white mist and shook his head in confusion.
“I’ve never pulled an arrow like this.” But we could both see that it had the same shimmer as the Ardor in his hand. I’d heard it said that a cupid could only pull the arrow they needed. I’d thought maybe it would be an arrow of Fate… but this…
This was different.
And it seemed to be the arrow more than anything that made up his mind.
“He doesn’t have much time left.” It was as close as I would get to rushing him, and Wren blew out a slow breath, twisting the arrow in his fingers.
“I don’t know what this is going to do to you.” Wren’s voice was a warning.
“He’s already lingered longer than he should. I don’t know if Death will send another Reaper or the soul hounds soon, but I—”
“Sephtis, I don’t know if this will kill you, if it will change you. I don’t know if it will wear off. Ardor is made for cupids, to be drunk by cupids. I…” He looked at the arrow in his hand, and I saw it there, lingering on the edge of his expression.
Concern.
Did Wren care about me? I hadn’t thought he cared for much other than the hunt and the kill. But maybe I’d been wrong about him.
“It doesn’t matter,” I finally answered. My fingers twitched, and like he could sense it, Caiden’s heart sped beneath my touch. “I need this.” And then softer. “He needs this.”
Wren shook his head and stepped further into the room to put distance between us. Behind him, his wings rustled almost anxiously. At first, I thought he meant to go to the window, but he drew his bow.
“I hope you’re sure about this.”
My gaze drifted down to the man on the bed, and when I closed my eyes, all I could see was a field of red flowers.
“I’m sure.”
His expression was still concerned, but he opened the vial of Ardor and dumped it onto the glowing tip of the arrow. I had a moment to notice that the liquid gathered at the end without spilling, some strange magic given by Fate, and then he shot me.
When the arrow entered my chest, my entire body felt like it flew apart in an arc of white light and fire.
I’d never felt pain before, but I was pretty sure that was what I was experiencing.
It was deep, something reaching from the hollow space where a heart would be if I had one, and roaring outward, searching…
searching for something it couldn’t find.
My fingers came up of their own volition, reaching out to Wren like he could do something about what was happening.
He looked at me, his eyes guarded… sympathetic… and he did nothing.
He’d warned me, after all. It wasn’t like I’d gone into this blind.
As far as I knew, a Reaper had never died before, but as I drew a deep breath and it felt like flames licked along the inside of my body, I was beginning to think it could happen after all. My eyes drifted to Caiden’s pale face… and I realized it was worth it.
This was worth it.
Worth it or not, I couldn’t stop my body from doubling over, couldn’t stop the pain that slowly blossomed like a fire flower and raced through veins that I’d never actually known I had until that moment.
Everything in my body felt alive, and it was the worst feeling I’d ever experienced in my existence.
After what seemed like an eternity of battling over whether I’d be able to stand, I finally let my head drop forward so my hair covered my face.
The hard, labored breathing that filled the room and overshadowed the sound of the machines beeping softly was foreign to me.
I’d never been aware of my body before, aware of the function of it.
The breath, the life, the chill of the air on my skin. It was so much—too much.
I finally glanced up at Wren through my hair. He was still watching me with careful eyes as I slowly rose, my fingers trembling as they connected with Caiden’s.
I could feel it now. The way his body was in pain, the way each breath was an arduous thing. The way he was ready—had been ready—to let go since before I’d gotten here. He’d only been holding on for… for something.
For someone.
I could feel death lingering on the edge of our periphery… No, not death.
My purpose.
For the first time, I could feel what I was here to do… and…
“Oh, gods.” I groaned, my eyes flicking from the cool hand in mine back to Wren. “Is this what it’s like to feel?” I said it like it was a filthy word, and the gentle smile that crossed his lips was almost contrite.
“There’s a reason I’ve only taken the Ardor once.” He glanced at my chest, where the liquid white glow was slowly fading away to a soft light just beneath my skin. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
I didn’t. For the first time, I realized I had no idea what I was doing.
But when my eyes turned back to Caiden, I knew it didn’t matter.
Now that I could feel, I understood. It was inevitable that I’d been here—it was Fate that I’d found him.
That was why Wren had pulled the arrow. That was why I could feel everything now.
“Will you stay?” I murmured, but I didn’t look away from the man on the bed as I asked. Wren sighed.
“I don’t know what else I can do for you, Sephtis.” Even as he said it, his wings rustled and settled against his back, and he leaned against the wall.
“Tell me if the hounds come.” My eyes were caught on Caiden’s lips, his pale skin. “I won’t be long.”
He didn’t have long, whether I wanted to keep him here or not. I could feel that too, and I hated it.
What was I going to do if these feelings didn’t go away when the man I was looking at died?
As I leaned down and brushed my mouth against Caiden’s, I realized it didn’t matter.
This was where I was supposed to be.