Chapter 4
Sephtis
The first time I truly realized the consequences of taking the Ardor into my body was two weeks after I’d left Caiden’s side.
My mind had been stuck on his twin… on Cole.
I’d been so busy silently following and watching him, seeing him teeter somewhere dangerously close to the edge of death himself as he planned his brother’s funeral, as he grieved him… that I didn’t do my job.
But the call eventually came for me, and it was too strong to resist. The man was standing over a small frame.
A young woman.
And I could feel the rage and smug satisfaction ripping through him. He’d killed her, and he wasn’t sorry about it. He was just sorry she’d managed to rip the knife he’d used from her side and stabbed him before she fell.
A final act of defiance.
The very reason he’d killed her to begin with…
And all I could see was her sweet, soft face. All I could see was the gentle potential of a soul snuffed out too soon.
I could feel her pain.
Her fear.
And I realized what I’d done. It wasn’t just Caiden I could feel—it was everything.
Everyone.
It hadn’t gone away.
Those emotions tore through me in a whirlwind of rage when I turned to the man who was panting heavily, his breath wet, his eyes wide… and let him see me.
I knew what I looked like—pale skin and black veins, dark hair and eyes like liquid night. I looked like Death.
His messenger.
His demand.
And all I had to do was touch the man, so I wasn’t sure why I leaned forward and took the knife from his hand…
I wasn’t sure why I glanced down at the dead woman’s body before I thrust the blade up and into the man’s sternum. The punched-out exhalation of his breath came in a burst of droplets of blood. He fell to his knees, and when I ripped the knife from his chest, I ripped his soul with it.
I didn’t bother to ferry him—I took a moment to see his wide, fearful eyes, and then cut my hand through the visage.
The soul dispersed into a thousand tiny pieces, a million stars that would find their way to Death eventually by way of the hounds, to be shaped into something completely new.
I drank down the lingering sensations of his fear and pain, and my entire body trembled with the new emotions.
Emotions.
I was going to feel everything—every death. Every soul I called to the Lake.
Maybe this was why Reapers weren’t made to feel… because the weight of it would drive them to insanity… and I…
I’d given it all up for a chance to hold Caiden’s hand and let him know I was there with him.
When the soul finally dispersed, I shivered and turned my eyes down to the body on the ground. His Vitality hovered just beneath his skin, and I pressed my fingers to the wound on his chest to let it pool into my body.
Death wouldn’t care too much about the soul, but he’d be angry if I left the Vitality behind.
After it settled into my chest, I turned to the woman. She was already dead, already going cold. When I called her soul, her eyes were soft… and I felt her fear turn into relief when she noticed what had happened to her killer.
“I’m glad,” she murmured before taking my hand… and I knew.
I knew everything about my world had changed.
I had blood on my hands, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it.
I wasn’t sure where to go… but somehow, I knew what I was going to do before I’d even done it.
I ended up in Cole’s room, watching his restless form as he tossed and turned.
On the edge of my vision, I could see the hazy agony of his dream.
Caiden dead. Me standing over him like some dark shadow. The way he’d shoved me after, the way Wren had pulled me from the room when I’d refused to let him shoot his arrow.
On the bed, Cole thrashed, a low whimper escaping trembling lips… and like I was drawn on strings, I made my way across the room. My fingers were crimson when they pressed to his chest… and his were pale when they rose and took mine in his sleep. His body stilled, his mind calming.
And I wondered if there would ever be a time when either of us would feel this peace while he was awake.
Even if it was just in his dreams, I realized I was in trouble, because I didn’t think I could leave him alone.