Chapter 10
Sephtis
I’d gotten away with my ruse for so long, but it was obvious that Death was tired of my games.
The sound of the hounds baying in the distance told me as much, and even though Cole looked like he was ready to tear me limb from limb, that didn’t stop his fingers clutching the fabric of my sweater to tug slightly, like pulling me close could somehow make what he’d just heard go away.
“We need to move. Now.”
Whatever moment had almost happened between us, whatever the heat in his eyes was—hatred or some lingering vestiges of what I’d done to him—I knew we didn’t have time to stay.
If we were lucky, the beasts would get caught up on the Enmity that Wren and Theo had left lying in the alleyway.
The hounds were drawn to the scent of a fractured soul, and they were creatures with a single-minded purpose.
If they got their fill, they’d hopefully leave.
If they thought their only quarry was the half human who bled black on the streets, hopefully they’d just devour the broken shards and Vitality that I’d left behind and not follow the scent of the man standing in front of me.
The man who, if I looked closely enough, I could see the faintest trail of red spilling from.
Straight to my chest.
Straight to the strange sensation thrumming behind my ribs—not exactly a heart, not my heart.
I could feel his beating, caught between the two of us, working for us both now… and I didn’t know what that meant.
There was nothing to compare to our situation. There’d been nothing to compare to the Ardor flowing through me… and now…
Well, now it was even more complicated.
“What do you mean, go? There’s a dead monster back there that looks almost human, and there’s something howling.
Something feels… strange in my chest. I…
what did you do to me?” I jerked him forward into a clipped walk.
I wasn’t sure where I was taking him. Back to his apartment, maybe. Somewhere... anywhere other than here.
“I saved you.” I gave him the best answer I could as we kept moving forward.
“I should have reaped your soul, Cole. You were dead. But I saved you.” I was surprised that the words came so easily now.
Whatever bond had formed between us was enough to break the ties that Death had put on my tongue.
I could tell him anything, would tell him everything.
“I’ll explain more when we’re inside somewhere.
That howling you hear? If we don’t move, it will come for you.
” And almost like they wanted to prove me right, the hounds sent up their call again, and I wondered if I was imagining the sound of flesh ripping and tearing, or if they really were taking the Enmity apart.
“Why?” At least he didn’t stop walking as he asked questions, though I felt the reluctant tug of his arm in my hold as I kept pulling us forward.
The silent curse caught in my chest at the fact that I couldn’t simply move us both with my usual abilities.
I’d never been able to carry anything other than the incorporeal with me, and I didn’t want to test what would happen if I tried now while holding his hand.
Not when his soul had been so eager to leave his body… and not when he was full of Vitality that didn’t belong to him.
Vitality that had filled his chest with strength, knitted his wounds together.
Would he forgive me if he knew I’d done it? I hadn’t even known it would work—and it probably wouldn’t have if we weren’t joined by the red thread trailing between us. I’d felt his body connected to mine, slowly siphoning that strength from my chest.
Making itself whole.
Keeping him here. With me.
I didn’t care what rules we were breaking, or that a human had died so that he could live.
I only cared that his hand in mine was warm, and he was following me as I half dragged him through the streets toward his apartment.
I didn’t stop until the door behind us was locked, and even then I was still worried that the soul hounds would sniff out exactly what I’d done.
Cole was silent as I checked the locks, as he stepped into the living room and pulled his shredded, bloody shirt over his head.
He was quiet as his fingers carefully examined the faint lines of red on his skin—perfect scars in place of claw marks that had punctured his lungs.
“Okay…” He didn’t look up at me, just smoothed his fingers along the marks again before lifting them to the center of his chest. I wasn’t sure if he could see the red thread trailing between us, but his hand pressed over the place that connected us like he could feel it.
“I need you to stop fucking bullshitting me and explain what’s going on. ”
It was easier said than done, and I still wasn’t sure exactly how much he wanted or needed to know. But I could at least explain tonight. My eyes lingered on his bare chest—the marks, the lean muscles… and my throat convulsed.
Lust…
Another thing a Reaper couldn’t feel… and certainly something that didn’t seem appropriate given the circumstances. But there it was, hovering on the edge of my vision and reminding me how it felt to have the weight of his body on top of mine, for his fingers to tangle in my hair.
I knew from Wren that soulmates usually consummated their bond as soon as it was forged, that their bodies demanded it though they didn’t realize that was what they were doing. From the anger creeping back into Cole’s eyes the longer I stared at him, I knew that wasn’t going to happen.
“I’m a Reaper.” I paused, waiting to see if Death would suddenly appear behind me for breaking his rules, for speaking those words aloud to a human. Our bond apparently trumped that code, because nothing happened.
Nothing but a beat of silence, and Cole’s eyes going wide.
“A… Reaper. Like… hood and scythe? Grim?”
I frowned, wanting to step toward him and run my fingers along the scars he was still trailing his own across.
Instead, I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head.
“Humans have a strange notion of what we are… but in a sense, yes. The hood and scythe. I ferry souls and deliver them to Death.”
I could almost see the thoughts playing out behind his eyes while he took in everything I’d said. They tracked slowly from now to before… back to the first moment he’d seen me.
To what I was doing that night.
“So you did kill my brother.” The fury was back, and he closed the distance between us with his intentions clear on his face. “You took him while I wasn’t there.”
“I—” I caught his hand when he swung at me this time.
His eyes widened in shock as I used my grip to shift him a little closer to me, to pin his arm between us so I could finally speak the confession I’d wanted to give all along.
“I tried to keep him alive. I wanted to keep him alive. But I couldn’t. ”
All that anger he’d felt earlier seemed to blossom and burst across his features.
“You kept me alive. Why couldn’t you save him instead?”
Instead.
Not save him too.
Instead.
If I closed my eyes and tried to imagine a world without Cole in it, it made the new sensation of warmth in my chest twinge and try to turn inward, to spear the heart I was pretty sure only existed while his was beating.
“It was his time… I can’t…”
“I’m pretty sure it was my time in the river.
I know it was my time when that thing stabbed me in the chest. So you need to explain it to me.
” His eyes blazed, though the heat was chased with soft liquid pooling against his lids, threatening to spill over and break apart the fury he’d gathered around him like a shield.
“Why couldn’t you save him like you saved me? ”
The answer was right there on the tip of my tongue. Honesty I wanted to give him… a truth I wasn’t sure he was ready to hear. But now that I could say it, what was I supposed to do? Keep it from him?
I felt like I couldn’t lie to him now, even if I wanted to.
“I was drawn to your brother when I first came to collect his soul—something about him made me need to reach out, to see his mind. Caiden was sitting in a field of red flowers.” Cole’s eyes widened. “And he seemed like he was waiting for someone to join him.”
At those words, the tears fell, and his hand in mine went completely limp as they streaked down his cheeks.
“It was me, wasn’t it? I tried to get there, but…”
“No, I think he was waiting for me.” When the anger tried to claw its way back, I raised one hand and carefully wiped the wetness on his cheek away with my thumb.
“He was waiting because he knew it before I did, before I understood. He was waiting because he wanted to make sure when he was gone that you wouldn’t be alone. ”
It had taken me so much time to realize it… the red field of flowers, the feeling of guilt and relief that I couldn’t decipher. The way I’d been so drawn to Caiden that I wanted to stay with him. He was a part of Cole. They’d shared a soul once upon a time, before their bodies had split apart.
I’d always been destined to care about his brother, to want to save him… but Cole was the only one I’d ever been capable of loving.
“I am alone. I’ve been alone since the day you took him from me.” His voice broke again at the end of the accusation, and I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
“You aren’t. Wren and Theo weren’t just there to fight the Enmity… Wren was there the night your brother died—”
“I didn’t see him.”
“He was there. He’s a cupid, Cole. He ties souls together.”
Cole’s eyes narrowed, still wet with tears and drowning in confusion. “What?”
“We’re soulmates… and I think your brother knew. I think that’s why he trusted me to watch you after he was gone.” I ran my finger along the line between us, the faintest hint of red, and his eyes widened and followed the motion. I could see the reflection of the crimson glow in his green gaze.
I stood silently, wondering if he’d understand what I was saying. If he’d realize the confession on my tongue was as foreign to me as it was wrong to him.