Chapter 10 #2
She nods in thanks as the servant leads her back into her gilded prison, her head held high as the invisible noose around her neck tightens slightly.
The servant will tell Nobus what she saw and the king will summon me. I need to get to Selene before word of my presence reaches him.
The rope tied to my body tugs again. I let my shadows conceal me as I move—a quick walk that increases speed rapidly.
The stronger the blood bond between us becomes, the faster I move.
I have never in my life ran toward someone, never felt the sharp stab of fleeting hope that grips me tighter in her vice with each passing second.
Hope.
For the first time in my life, I feel hope.
There’s a possibility that she won’t see me, that she won’t open the door or let me gaze into those sparkling golden eyes. But there’s a possibility that she will, and that is what I cling to now.
My feet skid to a halt outside the library and I know without a doubt that she’s inside. I scan the rows of shelves and find the room empty except for the glowing light near the reading alcove.
My shadows race ahead, blazing an eager path between the stacks. Selene’s muffled gasp sounds when they round the corner and give away my approach.
Midway down an aisle lined in leather-bound tomes, I stop. The golden edges of her aura seep between the books that separate us.
“Goddess.”
“What are you doing here?” Her voice is flat and powerful. No hint of hatred or the misery that plagues me.
“I am here to see you.”
“You’re here to see me? Three months and that’s the best you could come up with?” Her sharp words sting like the first slice of a blade across flesh.
I reach out and remove the book that separates us, instantly meeting her gaze. It’s strong and fierce, but the hint of silver in the corner of her eye gives her away.
“I have made many mistakes, Selene. And I am here to…” My voice nearly breaks as the single drop pools on her bottom lashes. “To make a pathetic fucking attempt at saving you.”
“I do not need you to save me, Drayven. I showed you what I am capable of. I am the Goddess of Light and the Queen of the Under Realm. Or does that not mean anything?”
The goddess walks out of view. I chase after her like a dog, removing book after book until we’re eye-to-eye again.
“Selene, wait. You must understand.”
“What? What must I understand? I gave you all of me, my power, my blood, my heart…and I thought you were doing the same. But when push came to shove, you lied.”
“I didn’t lie. It’s…it’s…” I stammer over my words, searching and failing to find anything that would make a difference in this moment other than the truth. “There are things I cannot tell you.”
Selene scoffs. “How convenient.”
“Selene, listen to me!” My temper slips, the floor around us rumbling slightly before I regain control. “The magic that binds me to the Under Realm has…” I painfully push through the heaviness that weighs down my tongue. “…conditions.”
I know she needs more—that single word isn’t enough to convince her of my honesty, isn’t enough to tell her how much sending her away maimed me. Gathering the full might of my power, I attempt to force my way through the rules that bind me.
“I ccccan’t…for every dddday…” The harder I push, the tighter the magic wraps around my tongue and crushes me in its grasp. “You would…ddddie…” My mouth moves silently as searing pain rips through my body. My muscles fray and threaten to split from my bones as the words fill my mouth like ash.
“I want…you.” I finally rasp out the only truth I am capable of and collapse to my knees. Sweat slicks my white hair to my brow. I claw at my clothes, ripping open the buttons of my shirt in a futile attempt to gouge out the pain in my chest.
“All I want is you. Keeping this from you…is not a choice, my light. It is a curse.”
Footfalls sound on the marble floor and I am certain that she’s leaving my pathetic ass to rot in a heap before the toes of golden slippers step into view.
I don’t lift my head to look at her, refusing to let her see the shame and weakness evident on my face. I take the dagger from my jacket pocket, offering it to her by the ivory handle, the alloy blade still safely wrapped in its obsidian makeshift sheath.
“For you. To rid yourself of any god you choose…including me.”
The blade won’t truly end my life, but it will kill me all the same.
It will send me back to the Under Realm immediately—and something tells me that it would hold me there for longer than any incarceration to date.
Perhaps it would be long enough for the rebellion to run its course and for Selene to live out the fate that Taura saw for her.
Perhaps it would be long enough for her to forget me entirely.
Selene takes the blade from my outstretched hand and squats before me. The fabric of her flowing silk gown pools around her like a golden pond. The fingers of her free hand trail through my hair—a soft, reassuring graze, the way one might console a dying animal before you end its suffering.
“Is this what you were doing all those months?” she asks. “Looking for this?”
“Yes.”
Silence stretches between us but I don’t tear my eyes from the floor.
“You sent me away because the magic forced you to,” she finally says.
It’s not a question, but a statement of fact. I don’t know if I can form the words to acknowledge her. Summoning the last vestiges of strength in my body, I nod. A foreign wetness coats my cheek—something I haven’t felt in over a century.
Selene adjusts her grip on the handle of the god blade. The black fabric falls away, the magical alloy glimmering in her golden glow. She leans closer and lifts my chin with the tip of the blade.
“Are you asking me to kill you, Dark One?”
I lean into it, my soft flesh leaking a single drop of blood. I force myself to look Selene in the eyes as I utter my damning confession.
“Isn’t it always what we love that kills us?”
The corners of her lips tug up in a soft smile as another tear streaks down her cheek, mirroring my own.
“Are you finally admitting that you love me, Dray?”
“You have my realm, my crown, and my blood. I don’t have a heart, but if I did, it would be yours. You could eradicate every shadow, illuminate every inch of caliginous obscurity, and rip the Under Realm to fucking shreds—and I would relish every godsdamned second as long as you were at my side.”
The god blade clatters as it hits the marble floor. Selene’s chest heaves with rapid breaths. She wants to be angry with me. I can see it in the pained tears that crest over the rims of her eyes and in the tremble of her hands—but she is just as ruined as I am.
“Are we doomed to forever be apart?”
“We can have a day or two, but…yes, Selene. Death is no companion.”
She stares into my eyes, her pain morphing into determination. “Then we will take whatever moments we can get.”
The Goddess of Light takes my face between her hands. Her magic skates across my skin—light and blood and something shocking. Disbelief courses through me as the blood bond between us pulses with the unmistakable flutter of a tiny heartbeat.
Conception within the Golden Pantheon doesn’t happen at random. There are neither risks of accidental pregnancies nor the need to prevent them. Each and every god is divined by Creation, and only Creation has a say in the timing and the parentage.
“Selene.” I rise my knees, my hands moving to cradle her face as I take in the gravity of her revelation.
The maker of all gods has decided that the pantheon needs a child with our combined gifts—and needs it now. I shudder at the thought.
What kind of god will be birthed from Death and Light? What powers might they possess? What horrors might they inherit from me?
“We have the chance to bring this child into a better world.” Selene’s face alights with blessed assurance. “The final battle in Mikais’ rebellion is happening tonight.”
The rebellion. Shit.
I stand abruptly, pulling Selene up with me. Terror grips me as the Goddess of Truth’s vision replays in my mind.
“We have to go see Taura. Now.”