Chapter 34
Alexa, play, ‘High for This,’ by The Weekend
"Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again and again.”
—DEXTER MORGAN, DEXTER
A rt smuggled me out of the manor and kept us in the back alleys. Despite the fact that I was running for my life barefoot in a blinding white dress, I couldn’t help but gape at the crystalline black spires that made up the homes of the fallen.
I could see the bridge to the mortal realm in the distance, but Art tugged me toward a large black-pointed structure. It was an ebony cylindrical spire that tapered into a sharp point. There were no windows, but there was a single large black door carved into the side.
“We need to stop here first to get your soul cloaked so they can’t track you down. Hurry,” he urged, and he glanced up and down the street to make sure the coast was clear before ducking out of the alley we had taken cover in.
My heart was soaring. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I was really getting away. Not only that, but Art even had a way to make sure I wouldn’t be followed. I couldn’t help the shit-eating grin that spread across my face as I followed Art across the street. He ushered me forward toward the large, heavy door at the side of the structure. Checking over his shoulder, he pushed me over the threshold .
It was dark inside. I could barely see anything, and when Art shut the door behind me, I found we were enveloped in complete darkness.
“I can’t see a thing. Is there a light you can turn on?” I whispered.
For a moment, Art didn’t respond. I frowned.
“Art?”
“Hello, deathtrap.”
Suddenly, I could feel my heartbeat in my mouth. Green fire lit around the circular perimeter of the structure, illuminating what appeared to be the interior of a satanic church.
There were rows of black pews on either side of an aisle lined with a midnight velvet runner. The pews were filled with demons dressed in black who all turned to look at me as the fires ignited.
Standing by what could only be described as a sacrificial altar stood Ramel. A spotlight flickered directly over his head, casting sinister shadows over his face. He was in his Reaper shroud and was holding his scythe, his black fingers drumming ominously on the handle. His hood was drawn back, and his sinfully handsome face was filled with a confusing mixture of rage and lust.
Horrified, I turned to run when there was a click and a tug at my throat. My whole body locked up in fear.
“Oh, Lil. You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” Shem whispered into my ear from behind, tugging roughly on the leash he had attached to my collar.
He circled around from behind me, pulling a smug-looking Art with him. “That was really almost too easy, Lilith.”
Art gave me an evil smile, chuckling. “You were right, Shemhazai. I barely even had to try. She really is desperate.”
My whole body went cold, and I began to shake.
That asshole fucking tricked me!
Shem gave me a dangerous smirk. “I must say, I was really hoping you would fail that little test, Lil. Though it does seem to be a shame that you’ll need to crawl down the aisle on your wedding day.”
“Really sets the tone for the marriage, though,” Art mused, and Shem winked at him, planting a kiss on his cheek.
“Sure does,” he purred.
“My wedding day!?” I screeched, looking down at the white fucking dress that Ramel had put me in that morning.
“Oh yes. You and Ramel will be bound together today, and you will spend the rest of eternity happily… or, I guess, unhappily married if you continue to resist. How much longer are you going to fight this, Lilith? Look around you. You’re in fucking Hell. You just trusted a demon to help you escape.”
I whirled on Art, suddenly so fucking angry I wanted to tear his throat out. Shem jerked on the leash, yanking me away from him .
“Don’t take your idiocy out on Art, Lilith. You did this to yourself. This could have been a nice fucking day, but you had to go and break the most important rule. Don’t run.”
“She touched me too,” Art said, holding out his hand to Shem. Shem closed his eyes and smelled it.
Ew. Fucking gross.
Shem opened his eyes and gave me a sinister smile, tutting his tongue.
“That’s two rules broken, Lilith. You have been a very bad fucking girl.”
“Bring her to me,” Ramel’s dark voice floated through the church just as the eerie notes of an organ began to play. Instead of the bridal chorus, it was Ave Maria, and my blood boiled with the unfairness of it all.
“On your hands and knees, Lil. I’m not fucking playing. Do what I say, or you will regret it.”
Shem’s normally cavalier expression had switched to something darker and angrier. I had a feeling he was actually angry with me for trying to run. This wasn’t like all the other times they had tried to ‘punish me.’ This was different. I could see a flicker of betrayal and hurt in his eyes, which just didn’t make any sense to me.
What right did he have to feel betrayed? They had just set me up to fail.
I was so angry I could have killed someone, but the look in his eyes was scaring me. I was already in enough shit. I didn’t need to make it worse. I let him see how much I hated him as I got down on my hands and knees like he had instructed, and he sneered at me.
“Ooh, yeah sweetheart, give it to me. Your hatred sustains me. ” He curled the end of the leash a few times in his fist, shortening it. Yanking roughly, he pointed to the ground by his feet.
“Heel.”
I stared up at him, and his eyes flashed as he watched the reality of the situation roll through me. He was going to make me crawl down the aisle like a fucking dog.
“Heel, Lilith, or you can do this naked.”
My mouth dropped open, and he smiled. “You should know by now that it can always get worse.”
I crawled up next to his feet until the tight pull slackened, and he began to walk forward. Slowly, we made our way down the aisle. I could feel the silent eyes of all the demons gathered in the pews as we moved. Ramel was watching us, his face stone cold and his eyes filled with fury.
I had really fucked up.
We made it to the end of the aisle, and Shem patted the top of the altar, tugging on my leash.
“Up,” he ordered, and I glared at him before crawling up.
“Kneel,” he commanded, and I did. The way Ramel was looking at me was stirring the familiar twinge of fear in my gut, which my body was starting to associate with pleasure. I was nearly panting with anticipation by the time he turned to face me, looking every inch the deadly demon that he was. In this form, the tattoos that peeked out from his shroud seemed to be alive. They twisted and churned on his chest, and his hands looked as if they had been dipped in black ink. But those hazel eyes, that chiseled perfect face, it always remained the same. He was always Ramel.
His eyes slid over me, and I felt my core tighten under his intense gaze. Much like Shem, he was angry, but I could sense a small undercurrent of something else. Something that felt a lot like hurt.
I told myself I didn’t care. He had hurt me too many times. Look at what he was doing to me now! Why should I care if his evil-ass demon feelings were hurt?
“You have disappointed me, Lilith,” he said, his voice low and even. He stepped closer to the altar and brushed my hair back behind my shoulder, his fingers grazing the collar around my neck. “Despite what you may think, I’m sorry it came to this,” he said, thumbing the thick leather softly. I scowled at him.
“So take it off. Let me go!” I shouted in his face. I expected him to lash out, but he just watched me, tapping his fingers on the collar gently.
Finally, he spoke. “If I let you go, do you know what would become of you?” he asked, his voice softer than I had expected.
I tried to think before I spoke. What was my end game here? If he let me go, where did I plan on running to? Back to my apartment? Back to Voodoo? What he had said earlier about Yahweh having some sort of plan for me rang in my ears. He told me he did not trust Yahweh and that he and Shem seemed to be under His control on some level.
Was I safer here in Hell with Satan than with God?
I frowned, suddenly feeling more confused than ever. He told me God had put me in purgatory. If I ran and God and His angels caught me, would I meet that same fate again?
Ramel was watching me carefully, and I knew he could see my hesitation. He stroked an inky finger over my cheek, and my skin hummed and buzzed with flurries of warmth despite the coldness of his hand.
“I had hoped that you would refuse Art’s offer. If you had, I would have asked you to willingly be my bride,” he whispered. He reached out and took my left hand. He manifested a cloud of shadow and a ring formed before my eyes. It was a daintier version of the goat head ring he always wore, its eyes black diamonds.
He slid it onto my ring finger reverently before looking up to meet my gaze. “I wish I had time to convince you to want this, Lilith,” he said, reaching up to brush away a tear I hadn’t realized had fallen. “But that is not the case.” He leaned forward and kissed me so softly it made my heart ache. He cupped the side of my face and rested his forehead against mine. I inhaled his frankincense and sandalwood scent and listened to the somber notes of Ave Maria. Suddenly, I realized that while my wedding night might feel more like a funeral, it didn’t matter because I had never really had a life to lose.
“Even if we did have more time, we both know that I would continue to hurt you. I would hurt you again and again, Lilith, because I am a monster, and I love to see you cry.” He kissed me gently, pulling my bottom lip into his mouth for a moment before releasing me to continue.
“You know as well as I do that I’m not capable of being kind… but for reasons that I cannot fathom or understand, you make me want to fucking try.” His eyes searched mine, and I felt like he was trying to show me that somewhere in his rotten, pitted soul, he had carved out a space he hoped was a little softer, just for me.
“I’m your own personal nightmare, Lilith, and I will never let you go,” he whispered, giving me a small, sad smile. “I may not be able to promise you kindness, but I can promise you forever. I can promise that I will be the only monster to ever hurt you because your pain belongs to me.”
I didn’t know why, but I felt like my heart was breaking. He pulled back and looked at me, rubbing his thumb over the ring he had placed on my finger.
I knew he was right. He was a demon. An evil fucking creature that ruled the underworld. He had tormented me my whole life and had never given me a choice in anything. He stole every piece of happiness I could have ever hoped for. He clipped my wings and chained me to the ground.
So why did it feel like he was trying to tell me he loved me when his black heart didn’t even know what love was?
“I don’t know how to make you want this, Lilith,” he whispered, and I swallowed as the haunting music grew louder around us. “But that does not mean I won’t give it to you anyway.”
He pulled away and held out his hand to Shem. Shem handed him the leash, and Ramel turned back to face me.
“Let’s begin.”