Chapter 42
Alexa, ‘Villains aren’t born ‘they’re made,’ - acoustic version’ by PEGGY
Year: 3665 BC
"There is no creation without destruction. Without pain, there is no art."
–THE CHEMIST, AMERICAN HORROR STORY: DOUBLE FEATURE
I t was my first trip to Hell, and although Yahweh told me that anxiety was a mortal coil and I should not waste energy on such things, I could not help it. I feared Hell, and I feared sin. Yahweh told me Hell’s leader was the living personification of evil and that she took the form of what he called a ‘woman.’
“She is not a woman, though,” Yahweh warned gravely. “Women are obedient and were created to serve man. Lilith was condemned to Hell because she refused her role and left Eden of her own free will. I made a grave error in her creation recipe. Tread lightly in her presence. She is a jezebel and a temptress and will lead you down the path of corruption if you allow it.”
I nodded, straightening my white collar. Shemhazai was watching me with a mischievous smile on his face. He had told me under no uncertain terms that he wished he were allowed to come with me .
It had become apparent to me in my past year of service to our choir that Shemhazai often seemed bored. I wished he could come with me as well, but Yahweh would never allow it.
“Good luck, Ram. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Shem winked at me, and I forced myself not to grin back at him. Yahweh scowled at Shemhazai, and I knew he would not appreciate it if I openly engaged in his playful banter. Angels were meant to be pure, stoic, and godly. We were not meant to make jokes. Pleasure was sinful and beneath us.
With much trepidation, I moved forward, taking my first steps down the road toward Hell.
If Heaven was white and the absence of color, Hell was the opposite. Everything was black and monochrome at first glance, but the closer I looked, the more I realized there were pockets of color hidden everywhere. The never-ending night sky was crusted with stars that illuminated the azure, violet, and fuchsia nebula clouds erupting around them. These colors were reflected in an endless black sea that surrounded an obsidian island. In the center of the island was a large, ebony structure where I was sure the Hell Queen herself lived. Shivering with apprehension, I took my first step toward the empty island. Suddenly, a beautiful voice filled the air around me with dulcet, honey tones.
“Did you know that to make black, you need to use color?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin and whipped around on the bridge that led across the sea to Hell. There, behind me, stood a petite, curvy female body. She had supple breasts and sensual hips wrapped in shrouds of billowing shadows. Her long honey-brown hair fell in soft, heavenly waves down her back, and her moss-green eyes reflected the starlight that twinkled around us.
On top of her head, she wore a crown weaved from black oleander, but it was her hands that struck fear into my heart… they were dripping in death. It looked as if she had dipped them into large pots of black ink. Each of her fingers were tipped in a pointed nail, and I could nearly see the decay gathering in drops at the tips. I shivered as she approached, smiling at me serenely.
“To make white, you must take color away.” She continued, eyeing my choir’s all-white uniform. I stood frozen, watching her move toward me, her hips swaying slowly as she walked.
“Hello, you must be Ramel.” She smiled up at me, and I swallowed but nodded.
“I am Lilith. Welcome to Hell,” she purred, and I took a step backward.
What was this creature? Her presence lit up every nerve in my body, and my skin tingled with something unfamiliar. I was used to the burn of pain, but this was different. This feeling was foreign and good. I liked it .
My heart skipped a beat when I realized that whatever I was feeling must be a sin. Yahweh had warned me against this. I took another firm step away from her, painting a scowl on my face. I would not let this temptress lead me away from the light.
She frowned, cocking her head to the side. “What’s wrong, Ramel?” she asked, her voice soft.
I shook my head. “Nothing. I am here on official business. Yahweh would like a report on how you are doing with the catalog,” I said, forcing myself to keep my tone sharp and abrupt. I stamped down the delicious thrill of excitement she seemed to be drawing from my chest. I would get her report, and I would leave. Simple as that.
A coy smile played across Lilith’s perfect little mouth, and she dipped her head demurely. I had a feeling she could see into my very soul.
“I see. Straight to business then. No time for pleasure,” she purred and brushed past me. “Come. Let me show you what I have been working on.”
I swallowed again and allowed her to move a few steps ahead before following her across the bridge and into the bowels of Hell.
Lilith lived alone on the island of Hell. It seemed she had built a large manor for herself, and though it was beautiful, it echoed with an aching loneliness as we walked through the halls.
“I am glad to have company,” she said politely as she led me into what seemed to be an impressive library. Many of the shelves were empty, but she had clearly begun to harvest quite the collection. “No one ever wants to spend time with the harbinger of death,” she mused, though I was too distracted by the impressive spiraling space she was leading me through to process what she had said.
“What are all these books?” I breathed, and she gave me a mischievous grin.
“These are all the books that have been burned in the name of God. If Yahweh does not want the knowledge, I will gladly take it,” she replied, leading me down the steps toward a glowing, dome-like structure in the center of the floor.
I marveled at the midnight black canals filled with little souls as we walked. They swam and chugged along through the water, lining up diligently to take their turns to be scanned in what Lilith explained to me was her invention, the catalog.
“You created this?” I asked, doing my best not to let her see how astonished I was. She grinned at me and nodded.
“Yes. As the mortals multiply, it is becoming much too difficult for me to keep track of them all, so I built this to help me keep record and judge them before sending them up to your team to be sorted. ”
She waved her hand, and I gasped at the beautiful display of different souls she had already cataloged.
“This is very impressive,” I said, finally caving into the awe I felt that she had invented such a thing.
She smiled at me, though it was sad. “I am glad that you think so. When I first mentioned this idea to Yahweh, He told me it was lazy and sinful to offload my work onto a machine.”
I frowned. That felt hypocritical, considering how much importance He put on the upkeep of His Sorter of Souls. I shook my head roughly, banishing the thought. Yahweh worked in mysterious ways. I was sure He had His reasons for rebuffing Lilith’s efforts to improve efficiency in our processes.
“Well, He seems to appreciate its value now. He was very eager to see how far along it had come.” I meant for it to be a comfort and expected her to preen under Yahweh’s good favor, but her pretty face turned into an angry scowl. I watched a crease form on her brow and was overcome with the strange and strong urge to smooth it out with my thumb. I liked it much better when she smiled.
“I am sure He is. He came back to me several hundred years after I mentioned the idea to Him, and He pitched it back to me as if it were His own,” she scoffed, and it was my turn to frown. “He likes to do that, you know. Take credit for the ideas of others.” She bit her lip and waved her hand, turning the catalog off. “I suppose it doesn’t matter now. What matters is there is no longer a bottleneck, and the souls don’t need to suffer in limbo any longer than necessary.”
“The souls suffer?” I asked, surprised. Yahweh had never mentioned that to me before. She turned to me, nodding.
“Yes. They need to be reincarnated as quickly as possible, or they will begin to fester and lose the residual knowledge they have gained. It is not such an issue with the ones who wait for torment, but for many souls, it is a tragedy to leave them in limbo. So much good is lost.”
“And this bothers you?” I asked, growing more and more confused. This little creature was nothing like what Yahweh had said. Surely something so evil would not care about the suffrage of mortal souls?
That was the wrong thing to say. I seemed to have made her angry. She scowled at me, and my stomach dropped. It felt worse to have her angry at me than it did Yahweh. My head was beginning to hurt. Nothing was making sense, and nothing was as Yahweh had said it would have been.
“Of course it bothers me. I am not some monster that wishes harm on innocent souls. Is that what Yahweh told you?” she asked, and I felt ashamed to nod and tell her that yes, He had.
She snorted. “You seem like a smart angel, Ramel. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if you wish to believe everything Yahweh tells you. Perhaps ask yourself what He has to gain by telling you such things.”
She escorted me out of the library, and we walked back to the bridge in silence. I could tell she was still angry with me as we arrived at the gates.
“I’m sorry if I have offended you,” I finally said. I didn’t know what else to do to earn back her favor, which I realized with a start I desperately craved.
She sighed and gave me an unimpressed look. “It’s fine, Ramel. I don’t know why I was surprised to find that you were just like the rest of them. Have a safe trip back to Heaven.” She dismissed me and banished me from her home.
I wasn’t sure what hurt more, her words or the blinding white of Heaven as it burned away the soft caress of Lilith’s eternal night.