Chapter 45
Year: 3663 BC
“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”
—SAINT BERNARD OF CLAIRVAUX
I fucked Lilith until I literally could not fuck her anymore. The first time I came inside of her, I saw stars, and I felt a fundamental part of my brain chemistry shift. The first time I made her come, I was certain I would level mountains and drain oceans just to make her do it again. I wanted to perfect the art of making Lilith come. I wanted to make her do it over and over again until she begged me to stop. She never did, though. She was as insatiable as I was.
She eventually did get on her knees for me and showed me what it felt like to take her mouth. I was in awe and enraged at the same time. The feeling of her soft, wet tongue stroking my cock was nearly as good as her perfect cunt. This is what Yahweh had us do for Him, but it was something He denied from each of us.
Lilith had been right. How could Yahweh call this a sin when He Himself was unable to resist it? After I spilled my seed down her beautiful throat, I wanted to learn how to put my mouth on her. I wanted her to feel every piece of joy and every ounce of pleasure she had brought me. She was more than happy to show me, and after several hours, we finally collapsed together in her bed, spent .
She curled into my arms, and I kissed the top of her head, basking in the afterglow of our time together.
“I don’t want to return to Heaven,” I whispered against her, and I felt her smile against my chest.
“So don’t,” she replied, tracing her inky hand up and down my stomach, sending another zip of pleasure down to my spent cock.
“You can’t mean that. Yahweh would be furious with us. There would be hell to pay,” I murmured, and she laughed.
“We are already in Hell, Ramel. Let him come. I am not afraid of Yahweh.”
I frowned. She may not be afraid of Him, but I was. Plus, I would miss Shem.
“I cannot. I can’t leave Shemhazai; he would die of boredom without me,” I told her, gently running my fingers up and down her back. I smiled as her skin turned to gooseflesh beneath my touch. I loved watching her body react to me. I didn’t think I would ever get enough.
“Bring him too. I have more than enough space,” she said, looking up at me.
I stared down at her, eyes widening in shock. “You would accept Shemhazai into your home as well?” I asked, unsure why anything she did or said surprised me anymore. She was made for me, and I for her. Of course she would not want me to leave behind the only friend I had ever known.
“Absolutely. Bring him here, I would love the company.” She smiled, and my heart warmed despite the growing pit of anxiety that was brewing in my gut. I realized with a start that I was truly considering this.
The potential consequences of abandoning Yahweh were great. He would punish us and exact vengeance; he might hurt Lilith. I growled at the thought and crushed her into me tightly. She squeaked and laughed, squirming happily in my arms.
“I do not want to put you in danger. If I stay here, Yahweh may hurt you.”
“Yahweh and I are evenly matched, Ramel. When He sent me here to run Hell, He inadvertently made me His equal. It was not intentional, but it has been done. We are two sides of the same coin. It is time I start to build my own queendom.”
She cupped my face and kissed me softly. “One where I can promise that neither you nor your friend will be bored.”
Lilith gave me a devious smile, and I couldn’t help but grin back. There was a burning in my chest, and I was overcome with the insatiable need to protect her and make her happy. I didn’t know what the feeling was, but I think it was what Yahweh called love.
I thought I loved Yahweh, but now that I held Lilith in my arms, I realized I had not loved Him — I had feared Him. I knew because I now feared what He would do to Lilith if I drove Him to anger. The realization was earth-shattering, and I couldn’t keep it to myself. Before I could stop myself, the admission rolled off my tongue .
“Lilith, I think that I’m in love with you,” I whispered, marveling at how right the words felt falling from my lips. She nodded, her eyes shining.
“I know that I am in love with you, Ramel,” she replied, and at that moment, it was over for me. I knew I would do anything, even burn down Heaven itself, if it meant I could be with her.
“Okay, I will stay. Just let me talk to Shemhazai.”
She nodded, touching my lips softly. “Of course. I’ll be here when you return.”
I found Shemhazai lounging by Yahweh’s Sorter of Souls, looking bored as ever. He glanced up at me as I approached and grinned, immediately perking up.
“Tell me everything.” He beamed, just as he did every time I returned from one of my visits to Hell. Though Shemhazai was the General of our choir and much older than I, he did not have the same relationship with the other angels as he seemed to have with me. Shem and I seemed to have been made differently than the others. I wasn’t sure what it was that made our feathers black, but perhaps it was the same thing that made our minds different. We were curious about things we should not be curious about, and we craved things we should not crave.
“Not here,” I said quietly, and Shem immediately looked so conspiratorial I was shocked he managed not to rub his hands together with glee.
“Where should we go?” he asked as I glanced around.
The safest place to speak to him about this, coincidently, would be Hell. Yahweh was all-seeing, but He couldn’t seem to see what happened under Lilith’s roof.
I jerked my head at him and led him to the pearly gates. He followed me without question, shooting a dark look over his shoulder on our way out.
I led him far enough down the path to Hell that I was sure we wouldn’t be overheard. However, I stopped before we crossed the border. He was not permitted to cross into Hell, and if he decided not to come with me, I did not want to damn him.
“Okay, tell me. What’s up?” Shem asked, his green eyes flashing with a dark sort of excitement. I bit my lip but couldn’t stop myself from grinning. The rebellion Lilith had stirred inside me was raising its ugly head, and I liked it.
“I cannot serve Yahweh anymore.” I watched Shemhazai’s face carefully, interested to see how he would react.
At first, he did nothing. He froze in place and searched my face. Then, just as I had hoped, a deadly smile curled across his mouth.
“That is the most interesting thing you have ever said to me, Ramel, and you’ve said some fucking interesting shit lately.”
I laughed and shook my head. I loved how Shem spoke. It had been difficult not to let it rub off on me when we had been in Heaven. It occurred to me that there would be no need for me to monitor the way I spoke in Hell. Lilith would love me no matter what I said or did.
“If not Yahweh, who will you serve?” he asked.
I didn’t hesitate. “Lilith.”
Shem’s eyebrows rose into his hairline, and he cocked his head to the side. “I was not expecting you to say that,” he murmured. He tossed a look over his shoulder, back the way he came. I waited a moment as he seemed to be making some sort of decision in his head. Finally, he turned back to me.
“Take me to meet her. If she impresses me, I will back your petition to leave Yahweh. Fuck, maybe I’ll come with you.” He winked at me, and I smiled.
“I was hoping you would say that.”
I took my friend’s hand and led him down the road to Hell, ignoring the fact that I no longer cared if it were paved with good intentions.