Chapter 51
Year: 2348 BC
“The more I study religions, the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself.”
—SIR RICHARD FRANCIS BURTON
I had forgotten how bright Heaven was. The light burned, and I fell blind for several long moments as the gates opened to admit us.
Rafael had a firm grip on me, and my hands had been bound behind my back with a golden noose. I was unable to use my magic while bound, and I knew that I would not be leaving Heaven again. At least not in this millennia.
Rafael threw me down next to Yahweh’s Sorter of Souls, and we waited. The churn and clink of the gears worked like a well-oiled timepiece deep in the pit of clouds beneath our feet.
The sounds made my fucking eye twitch.
Tirelessly, the pit-like mechanism sorted the endless slew of souls that Lilith had nearly worked herself to ruin over. I waited on my knees, surrounded by Yahweh’s messengers, and could do nothing but listen as the machine worked.
Clink, grind, whrrrlll.
Clink, grind, whrrrlll.
Clink, grind, whrrrlll .
Finally, Yahweh approached. I looked up into His ever-changing face as He came to stand before me, and I was reminded of the day I was made. When He had forced me to receive His ‘holy sacrament’ and told me that it was a blessing.
I sneered at Him, and He smiled down at me, caressing my face as if I were a long-lost lover. I supposed, in a sense, I was.
“My child,” He said, His ancient voice patronizing and condescending. I had mistaken the tone for sage wisdom when I was young. Now, I saw it for what it was. Lilith was nearly as old as Yahweh, and she had never lost her child-like curiosity. She never pretended to have all the answers, and she enjoyed that she didn’t. She loved to learn and discover new things and challenge herself. This piece of shit would rather everyone think He was all-knowing, so He could manipulate them through their assumed ignorance.
I fucking hated Him.
“Hi, Dad,” I snapped. If He was going to force me to play a part in this perverted production, I was going to play it my fucking way.
His lip curled in disdain, and I relished in the uncomfortable shuffle of wings from the angels behind me.
“Rafael, hand me the scepter,” He said calmly, and I sighed.
Fuck.
I glared as Rafael handed Yahweh the golden scepter that had the power to unmake His immortal creations. He gently brushed a lock of my hair out of my eyes and smiled down at me. My hatred for Him was so strong that my death magic began to bleed out from my knees. He made a face, but unlike the first time, He did not panic as my rot tainted the lily-white clouds of Heaven. He seemed to have prepared Himself for this.
“Ramel. Despite what you may think, I do not wish to unmake you.”
I snorted but said nothing.
“Unmaking my creations is a waste of resources. I would much rather correct and forgive. If you are willing to confess and repent, your Lord and God will absolve your sins.”
Still, I said nothing. There was nothing to say. He was either going to unmake me, or He was going to let me go. I would not be seeking forgiveness because I had done nothing wrong.
“Confess your sins, Ramel, before this choir of witnesses, and we can return to the natural state of things. I will even allow you to continue to be Heaven’s emissary to Hell, provided Lilith agrees to remove the demon she has planted in you so I might reinstate your wings.” Yahweh smiled down at me in what I assumed was meant to be a comforting and forgiving manner. I remembered the burning pain of my angel’s wings and realized I would rather be unmade.
“Go fuck yourself,” I spat, and Yahweh’s many faces flickered. He sighed .
“Rafael, open a vision portal. Let us show Lilith what has become of her beloved Reaper,” Yahweh sighed, spinning the scepter in His hand.
Fuck.
I didn’t want Lilith to see any of this. If she came here, all would be lost. I needed Him to unmake me before she could do something foolish. I trusted Shemhazai to do his best to keep her in Hell, but even he couldn’t stop her if she put her mind to something.
“Just unmake me, you piece of shit. End this,” I snarled, and Yahweh chuckled.
“Oh, Ramel. I will if I must, but as I said. It would be a waste of resources. There are several things I would like to try first. Perhaps we will come to terms. I have not given up hope.”
I watched in horror as Rafael spun open a vision portal to Hell. I could see Lilith and Shem in our room. Shem was holding her while she sobbed into his chest, and my heart cracked open.
No, no, no. Don’t look, Lilith.
She and Shem both looked up at the same time. Our eyes met through the portal, and I shook my head. I knew they wouldn’t be able to hear me, but I screamed anyway.
“No! Don’t leave Hell, stay where you fucking are!”
Yahweh chuckled and glanced up at Rafael.
“Hold him so that he may receive the holy sacrament,” Yahweh ordered, and Rafael moved behind me, gripping my head firmly.
“Open to receive me, Ramel, for I am Yahweh, and I will show you the way,” He said. I shook my head and reared back, but Rafael held me tightly. With the golden noose binding my magic, I might as well have been a fucking mortal. Rafael clenched the bottom of my jaw, forcing me to open, and Yahweh came forward, smiling down at me as if He were giving me some great gift.
I snarled in rage, but Rafael reached into my body with his powers and locked my soul down. I was paralyzed and could do nothing but receive as Yahweh pressed Himself into me.
“My beautiful creation,” Yahweh whispered as he spilled His sacrament down my unwilling throat. Stroking the side of my face, He looked down at me, smiling, and I let Him see how much I hated Him. Finally, He pulled away, and Rafael released his hold on me.
“Will you serve me, Ramel? Will you serve your Lord and Savior?”
I spat what I could of Him out into the clouds and curled my lip up in disgust. “I would rather suck your dick again than serve you, asshole.”
Yahweh hissed in rage, and I smiled. I glanced up into the vision portal to see Shemhazai visibly holding back a screaming Lilith. I tried to show her that I was okay.
That was nothing, Lilith, I am fine. Stay there .
I willed her to understand me. She fell to her knees, tears streaming down her little pink cheeks. Shem kneeled behind her, wrapping his arms around her in comfort. He met my gaze, and we shared a quiet moment of understanding.
If all this fucker was going to do was make me blow him for eternity, I could handle it.
“You force my hand, Ramel,” Yahweh warned, and I snorted.
“I’m not forcing you to do shit.” I looked up at Him, spitting again, trying to get the foul taste of Him out of my mouth. “You’re doing this all on your own.”
Yahweh shook His head as if He were disappointed in me. “Prepare him for a sacred lashing,” He said, and I grit my teeth.
Fuck.
I glanced over at the portal to see Shemhazai whispering into Lilith’s ear. I hoped he was trying to convince her to look away. I didn’t know if he would be able to keep her in Hell if she was forced to watch me be publicly whipped. If the roles were reversed, literally nothing would have been able to hold me back.
Rafael tore off my shroud, exposing my back to the choir of angels. He positioned me in such a way that I knew Lilith and Shem would have a clear view from the portal. I swore. This was going to fucking suck, but it wouldn’t unmake me. It would just hurt like a bitch.
I watched as Rafael handed Yahweh a golden whip. Yahweh held up the coil over His head as if we were in mass and He was blessing the wine.
“May this sacred thong grant eternal salvation to Ramel. May his spirit be forever entwined with divine light. May this lashing bring clarity to his soul, revealing the truth of all existence and guiding him toward righteousness. Let this gift be a vessel of divine connection, binding Ramel to the higher plane, never to be lost to the darkness again.”
I rolled my eyes.
For fuck’s sake.
“Just get it over with, you prick,” I snapped, but Yahweh only smiled and assumed His position behind me.
“We will start with five,” He said softly, and I felt myself tense. Five was fine. I could do five. The first lash sliced through my back, and despite my best efforts, I couldn’t hold back a shout of pain. Shemhazai and I liked to play with whips in the bedroom, but we rarely cut through flesh. Yahweh had definitely sliced through muscle and hit bone. I grit my teeth and snarled.
“Oh yeah, baby, harder,” I hissed, refusing to let them see weakness. Rafael chuckled.
“We’ll see if you’re still begging for more by the time we’re done,” he sneered, and I gave him a dark look as the whip came down on me once more.
“She’s screaming again,” Rafael told me as I flinched under the cut of the whip. I couldn’t see the portal, but Raf was looking into it over my shoulder with a fucked up little smile on his face. “It won’t be long before she comes for you. I don’t think even Shemhazai can hold her back now. She’s in a frenzy.”
“You’re a fucking bitch, Rafael. Maybe if you sucked your daddy’s cock a little better, He wouldn’t need to get His rocks off whipping the shit out of me,” I sneered, and Raf’s face went red with fury. The whip came down again, and I shouted out a bark of pain. I was panting now, and I could feel wetness pouring down my back. He was slicing me up fucking good.
Rafael came closer and leaned down to whisper in my ear, his clean, soapy scent making my stomach roil.
“If the whipping doesn’t work, we’ll be hitting you with the scepter next.” He glanced up over my shoulder again, and a sinister smile curled across his face. “Though it looks like we won’t need to, she’s on her way.” He grabbed my face and forced me to turn. I felt the blood drain from my face as I saw Lilith tear out of Shem’s arms and bolt for the bedroom door. He tried to chase after her, but she blasted him back with a burst of rot, and it hit him in the chest, significantly slowing him down. He glanced back at me, his face white with panic, and I knew she was coming for me. She was coming here.
They had won.