Chapter 61
“When gods war with gods, it is the mortal who suffers most.”
—PIERCE brOWN, “RED RISING”
T he pumpkin patch had been so cute and fun that I almost forgave Ramel for being such a prick earlier.
Almost.
After they had misted the pumpkins away, Ramel and Shem led me through rolling hills filled with tall, midnight grass that made up the landscape outside of the city. The farther we walked into the countryside, the more wildflowers seemed to grow in the waist-high grass.
“What types of flowers are these?” I asked, gently running my fingers through the licorice-colored stalks as we walked.
“All of the deadly ones.” Ramel smirked at me. He picked a sprig of white flowers and tucked it gently into my hair. “This is white oleander,” he informed me. “You used to wear a crown of black oleander when I first met you.” He was looking at me with so much tenderness it was hard to remember how much of a monster he was.
“You’ll also find lily of the valley and foxglove in these fields,” Shem said, picking several more sprigs of flowers as we walked until he had made a lethal bouquet. He handed the flowers to me with a flourish, and I giggled, accepting them with a smile .
“They’re beautiful.”
“Beautiful but deadly, just like you,” Shem said, swooping in to give me a kiss on the cheek.
“I’m not deadly,” I frowned. They had proven time and time again that I was helpless against them.
“Maybe not right now. But you were, and you will be again. All of this exists because of you, Lilith. Even without you here, Hell has thrived on your magic. You impregnated the very land with your death magic, and it has been working tirelessly to maintain the natural order of things in your absence,” Shem explained.
I could hear the sound of running water. Tugging me forward, Ramel parted the grass, and we found ourselves standing on the bank of a dark, rushing river. We walked along the edge to a large glassy pool that seemed to be the meeting place of several babbling streams that came from almost every direction through the fields. In the center of the pool was a circular pedestal with what looked like Ramel’s scythe hovering above it. Water was pouring out of the center of the pedestal in a steady gush as if it were a fountain, and the scythe glowed with a deep violet light.
What was the scythe doing all the way out here? I wondered, stepping closer to the water’s edge. Ramel snatched up my wrist and tore me away from the riverbank so fast I gasped. Wrapping his arms around me, he pressed me into him tightly.
“Don’t enter the pool. It’s deadly for mortals,” he growled. I looked up at him, startled. Glancing down into the large pond before us, I realized that the black liquid was much too thick to be water.
“What is this?” I asked, unnerved. Ramel pointed to the scythe, where it spun slowly in place, pulsing with that dark purple light.
“This is the Fountain of Death. When I’m not using the scythe, it’s left here to charge. You filled these streams with the very blood that ran in your veins long before you met me. Your blood maintains the balance and allows me to wield the scythe in your absence.”
I gaped. That was a lot of fucking blood. And why was it black!?
“Why would I do that?” I wondered, truly confused. Had I known I was going to be put into purgatory?
“There’s nothing you cared about more than balance, Lilith,” Shem explained as he looked out at the scythe. “You wanted there to be a failsafe in case anything happened to you. Over time, the scythe has become so full of your magic that natural death has become entirely dependent on it. Even if you were to return to your full powers, without the scythe, death could very well end. Mortals, animals, and even plants would live eternally. It would be an absolute disaster. You made it so that only demons could wield the scythe, thank fuck. Imagine if Yahweh took over death as well? ”
For some reason, my entire body suddenly felt cold with fear and dread. “Why would Yahweh want to wield death?” I whispered, and Ramel tugged me along the riverbank until we came to what looked like a massive cemetery.
“Yahweh wants to rule everything,” he said, his tone dark.
I stared in awe at the cemetery that sprawled out before us. Why was there a cemetery in Hell? The gravestones were elaborate and haunting. The flowers here seemed to glow with unearthly magic, and the stars above burned so bright that it was easy to read every carved inscription.
I stepped over the threshold into hallowed ground and felt an immediate rush of power explode through the soles of my feet. A gasp flew unbidden from my mouth.
“Oh…” I rasped, my entire body suddenly overwhelmed with an unearthly energy. Ramel and Shem were both on me instantly, holding me steady as my body acclimated to the strange energy that seemed to have taken hold of me.
“Breathe through it. You’re alright, we’ve got you,” Ramel said, pulling me forward into his chest. Shem slid up behind me, and together, they held me as I rode out the strange feeling.
“I didn’t realize it would affect her this much, even as a human,” Ramel murmured against my hair.
“Me neither. Just goes to show how much He fucked everything up,” Shem replied as he gently stroked the sides of my arms. “Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart; it’ll pass in a few moments.”
I quivered until the strange feeling dissipated. Finally, I felt back to myself, but there was an aching sadness in my chest that wasn’t there before. I looked up at my two demons, and they stared down at me with faces full of concern. Ramel touched my chin, frowning.
“Better?” he asked, and I nodded, still feeling a little shaky.
“What was that?” I breathed, and Shem kissed my temple before releasing me.
“This is the graveyard of the gods. Even in sleep, their power can be felt by the most null demons,” he explained. “Before Yahweh, there were many gods, but He killed them all and stole from them to create His legacy.”
I glanced at Ramel, eyes wide. “Is that true?” I asked, and he nodded.
“Yes. Though He didn’t kill them, per se. You cannot kill gods. The scepter can unmake immortals like demons and angels, but gods and goddesses, like you, are nearly impossible to truly kill. They are all sleeping here,” Ramel explained, taking my hand and leading me deeper into the cemetery.
“You’ve had many names throughout history, even when you were trapped in purgatory,” Shem explained. “In Egypt, they called you Osiris, but I played your role for most of that time period. I managed the scythe while you and Ramel were gone for millennia,” Shem said, sliding his hand fondly over the gravestones as we walked. He paused over one stone labeled Hecate . His expression changed, and for a moment, I thought he looked devastatingly sad.
“Who is Hecate?” I asked softly, and he glanced at me, seeming startled that I had noticed him pause by the elaborate grave. Her tombstone was carved with the phases of the moon and depictions of the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone.
“Hecate and I spent a lot of time together when you were away,” he murmured softly. “She was one of the last goddesses Yahweh was able to extinguish.” Shem traced the letters of her name gently. “I think Yahweh actually got the idea to turn you mortal from her.”
I frowned. “Yahweh wanted to turn her mortal too?”
Shem shook his head, his lips forming a firm line. “No. She vowed to turn herself mortal, to try to escape him. We suspected He was somehow putting the other gods to sleep, and she thought He wouldn’t find her if she hid her essence in a mortal host.” Regret flickered across his face. “Unfortunately, He put her to sleep before she could properly escape.”
I suddenly felt angry. How dare Yahweh think He could wipe out an entire race of gods?
Ramel stepped closer to Shem, clearly upset that his friend was in pain. I thought for a moment he might reach out to him or offer some words of comfort, but instead, he turned to me.
“You, too, had become suspicious that Yahweh was beginning to target the other gods and goddesses after the flood. It’s why you created the scythe and impregnated Hell with your magic. You wanted there to be a way for us to operate death in case anything were to happen to you,” Ramel said somberly.
“Is there any way to wake them?” I wondered out loud as the demons beckoned for me to follow them. They led me on a slow walk through the rest of the tombstones. We passed the graves of Ra, Isis, Ares, and the Holly and Oak Kings next. Their energies seemed to lay just beneath my feet, and they all reached for me as I walked by, as if begging me to help them.
“If there is, we haven’t found one,” Ramel said. “Though if we woke them all, it would likely result in a war. Many mortals would perish.”
“Why didn’t Yahweh put me to sleep?” I asked, and Shem smirked at me.
“That is the question, isn’t it?” he purred, and Ramel laced his fingers through mine as we walked.
“Our theory is it is because you’re the antithesis of His magic. You’re two sides of the same coin, and for that reason, you are evenly matched. Coming against one another would likely result in mutual destruction. Without your magic, there is no death, which means there would no longer be any way to continue the natural cycle of life through His Sorter of Souls.
“The other gods are more disposable. For example, humans will still go to war without Ares to spur them on; they just no longer have a god to barter with to give them an edge. However, without death, they literally cannot die… and that, my love, would fuck things up for everyone, including Yahweh.”
I gazed around at all the tombs filled with sleeping gods and suddenly felt overwhelmed.
“I don’t know why you’re telling me this or what I’m supposed to do with this information,” I murmured softly. Ramel and Shem exchanged a glance and shrugged.
“On the off-chance that you don’t reclaim your memories on your birthday, we thought it would be a good idea to show you who you are and where you come from. You will always be the Queen of Hell, Lilith. You can fight us and try to run from this as much as you want, but it won’t matter. This is who you are; it is who you will always be. Hopefully, knowing a little bit more about your past will make the transition easier.” Ramel tugged on my collar gently.
“If I’m the queen, then aren’t you supposed to listen to me ? You two are controlling assholes, and you never listen when I say no.”
Shem shrugged. “You can try to control us, but you’re not strong enough. Until then, we’re in charge.” He made it sound so simple and matter-of-fact. Like that was just the way things were.
“If I were you, I would be fucking worried about me getting my powers back then,” I grumbled, and they both chuckled darkly.
“We’re looking forward to it, actually.” Ramel smirked at me, and I glowered at him.
“We like it when you try to fight back,” Shem purred, sliding up behind me and tugging me into him. He bit the side of my neck hard enough that I yelped. I squirmed and tried to pull away, but he growled into my throat.
“Yeah, just like that.” He nipped at my ear and increased his grip on my hips. I felt a rush of heat pool in my core, and I realized with a start that I was beginning to associate their forceful behavior with sex and pleasure. I licked my lips in anticipation as I watched Ramel’s eyes darken while Shem feasted on the sensitive patch of skin just below my ear.
“Hold her wrists behind her back,” Ramel ordered. So quickly that I barely felt him move; Shem had both my arms twisted behind my back in a vice grip. I jerked away from him, trying to tear free, but he was so strong I could barely move. I realized with a start that there were no chains out here. If I was ever going to get away from them, this would probably be my best bet.
You’re never going to get away from them.
That mean little voice was back. I remembered everything Ramel and Shem had just said. They told me that I had made this place and that I belonged here. The burning in my core implied that some fucked up part of me didn’t truly want to be away from them. What type of a life could I hope to live now, knowing all that I knew? If I ever did get away, what would happen to me? I would likely be scooped up by Yahweh, who was decidedly even worse than the two demons who had claimed ownership of me.
Almost as if Ramel could see the conflict in my eyes, he stepped forward with a smug look on his perfect face. He curled a finger under my chin as I struggled against Shem and tilted my face up to look at him.
“Do you think things are going to be any different when you get your memories back, deathtrap?”
I bucked against Shem’s steely grip and glared up at Ramel, hating how beautiful he was. As Shem tightened his hold on me and Ramel raked his gaze over my body, I felt my heart rate speed up and my nipples peak beneath my hoodie.
“I think when I get my powers back, you won’t be able to control me anymore,” I spat, and he chuckled. He leaned forward and pulled my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on it so hard I gasped.
He bit my lip gently, then pulled away, smiling at me with his own twisted version of love shining in his eyes. “The thing is, Lilith, you like being controlled.” He rubbed his thumb over my chin tenderly.
“What!? No I don’t!” I spat, and Ramel exchanged a look with Shem over my shoulder. Shem pulled me tighter into him and whispered in my ear.
“Oh, but you do. If we sent you back to Earth right now, do you know how fucking bored you would be? Do you think one of those weak, clumsy fucks you gave yourself to before us could satisfy you?”
I felt my anger bubble in my chest. “That’s because you’ve been fucking conditioning me!” I snarled, and Ramel gave me one of the most evil smiles I’ve ever seen on his face.
“That’s right, deathtrap. The fact that you haven’t denied you would be bored tells me it’s been working.” He leaned in to kiss me, and I jerked my head away. He gripped my chin and forced my head back to face him, placing the kiss I had denied him on my lips anyway.
He ran his tongue over my mouth, but I clamped it shut, refusing him entry. He chuckled and pulled back.
“Open your mouth,” he ordered, and I felt a rush of wetness pool between my thighs but shook my head. He tutted his tongue.
“I think she wants me to force her, Hazai. What do you think?”
Shem kissed the side of my head and nipped the shell of my ear, tightening his hold on my wrists as I struggled against him.
“It would seem so.” I could hear the smirk in his voice.
Ramel reached forward and grabbed my nose, plugging it shut before I could take a breath. Reflexively, I opened my mouth to gasp for air, and he kissed me again, forcing his tongue into my mouth. I groaned as he stroked me possessively, and I felt another rush of heat pool between my legs .
When he was done, he let me go, giving me that cocky little smirk that told me I was absolutely helpless against him.
“You don’t like being controlled, deathtrap?” he asked, hovering inches away from my lips.
“No,” I breathed stubbornly, glaring at him with everything I had. The corner of his lip twitched up, and without warning, he slid his hands down the front of my leggings and dipped his finger into me. I gasped and arched, expecting him to go further, but he just pulled out his hand and held his fingers up to my face. They glistened with wetness beneath the starlight.
He ran his wet fingers over my lips, smearing my own arousal across them before putting them in his mouth and sucking them clean.
“Sure tastes like you do.” He smirked, and I scowled, feeling a flush of humiliation rush through me.
“I hate you,” I hissed for what felt like the thousandth time since they had taken me here.
Shem released me, and they both gave me a quiet, condescending laugh.
“No, you don’t,” Shem said. “You wish you did, but you don’t.”
I scowled at them, but they were both smiling at me with looks that told me they knew the truth… and the truth was, I couldn’t tell if they were right or not anymore.