Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Leah
“It’s going to be hot today.”
I didn’t answer Dion straight away. Instead, I closed my eyes and wiped the sweat from my forehead. I was always hot these days. Hot and uncomfortable. And I was so huge that I couldn’t get off the sofa without Dion’s help.
“You doing ok?” He flopped down on the sofa next to me.
His eyes searched my face. I nodded, and he laughed.
“You’ve always been a shitty liar, Leah. Always. You’re still thinking about him.”
I wanted to scream at him that, of course, I was, but what good would it do?
Dion was my best friend, and he had been here every day since Ivan had brought me back here, every single day. He had taken me to every appointment. He had used his own money to buy a crib and baby clothes because I refused to use the money Viktor had put in my account.
I would never touch a cent of that money. Not ever, even if I had to work every day for the rest of my life.
“It’s not that.” It was totally that, but I didn’t want another lecture about how I needed to leave Viktor in my past or to be told how he never cared for me. He had cared for me.
I was sure of it. What we shared hadn’t been an act. But that just made what he said even worse. Because if he hadn’t meant the words, and had said them anyway, knowing that they would hurt me, he was a monster.
“I’m just really uncomfortable.” I said at last. That was the truth as well. Every time I moved things hurt. And I was too hot.
“Leah.” Dion took my hands in his, his thumb swiped against the back of them. “I hate seeing you like this. It’s ok to admit you miss him. It’s ok to be scared, but he didn’t deserve you or that baby. If he did, he wouldn’t have left you to deal with this by yourself.”
Tears pooled in my eyes, and I wiped them away angrily. “I’m not by myself. I have you.”
Gently, he pulled me into his arms. Stroking up and down my back as I lost control and sobbed into his t-shirt.
“Yes, you do. It’s ok, Leah. It’s all going to be ok,” he soothed.
“I love him.”
Dion stiffened. “You love him?” He held me at arm’s length and studied my face. Sniffling, I nodded.
“Damn girl.” Dion shook his head. “Damn, right, let’s go.”
Confused, I stared at him. “I don’t want to go anywhere, Dion. This is our only day off this week, and I just want to sleep and—”
“We are going to get your man.”
I stared at him in shock. “He doesn’t want to see me. He won’t even return my calls. I’ve tried.”
Oh boy, I had tried.
Ivan had told me to stop and think about the baby before he put the phone down on me. No one from that world wanted anything to do with me. Viktor had made me untouchable. He didn’t want me, and he had slammed the door closed.
“Then, we won’t give him a choice. You can direct me, can’t you? To his country house? ”
I heaved myself upward, my back arching and my stomach protruding like someone had stuffed a beach ball up my dress.
“He might not be there. He could be anywhere.” I mumbled.
“Then, we will look there as well. Oh, and grab those divorce papers as well. You can slap some sense into him with them if he doesn’t listen.”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. The very idea of slapping Viktor with the papers he had sent to my house was comical.
“This is a bad idea. What if he really meant what he said?” I shuffled after him.
“Then you have closure, Leah.” Dion took my arm. “One way or another, you need to know. Even if it hurts.”
“Ok.” I forced myself to smile. “Ok, let’s do this before I get so big I can’t walk. Closure, that’s what I need.”
And maybe I did, but I was sure that if Viktor told me again that it was over, I would just wither away and die. I wouldn’t be able to survive it again.
“Shit.”
“What is it?” Dion slowed the car enough to turn to me. “What’s wrong Leah? Are you in pain?”
I waved his concern away because while it was welcome always, it wasn’t what was important right now.
“No more than normal. It’s just I remembered the gate.”
“The gate?” he parroted back. “There’s a gate?”
I nodded, chewing on my fingernails. They were already short because I bit them all the time, gnawed on them, actually.
“Yeah, I completely forgot. You can’t get in or out of the property unless you go through that or climb the wall.” I chuckled and motioned to my huge, tight stomach. “And I don’t think I could manage that today.”
“Ok, so we will drive up and ask for him.”
I rolled my eyes. If only it were only that easy.
“Viktor doesn’t want to see me, Dion.” I sighed, and the movement made my stomach feel even tighter.
Maybe it was time I accepted the truth. Viktor didn’t want me.
He had never wanted me. I was nothing but a means to an end, and now, he didn’t need me.
What we had shared had been nothing but make-believe. I could kid myself all I wanted, but I knew Viktor, if he wanted me, he would have come to me.
It had been months, and the only contact he made was to send money into my account every month. Money I hadn’t touched. I would never touch it.
“I’m not going to let you run away from this, Leah.
If he rejects you, then it’s the end. If he’s not here or they won’t let you in, I will never push you to contact him again.
” He turned, reaching for my shoulders, and gave me a little shake.
“But you need closure. There are things you need to say to him.” He went back to driving, and the curve in the road that said the gates were coming up came into view.
“There are things I need to say to him as well,” he added
The thought of Dion verbally attacking Viktor was enough to make my blood run cold.
I reached out to him. “Please don’t do that. I don’t want you to get hurt. The baby and I need you.”
“I’m not going to get hurt, Leah, but fine, I don’t feel like being knocked on my ass by him anyway. Once was enough.” He smiled and winked, and I was reminded of the time Viktor had found us together at work.
“He reminds me so much of my father, I don’t know what you ever saw in him.”
I remained silent as we pulled off the main road, and the wrought iron gates came into view. It was so familiar, even if the last time I had seen it there had been snow on the ground, and now the place was blazing with sunshine.
“Shit.” Dion slowed his old, battered car to a crawl. “Just how rich is this guy?”
“Rich,” I said softly and winced back as a pain lanced through my lower back. This pregnancy thing was tough. There was always some part of my body that hurt these days, and the pains were getting worse and worse.
But I had a feeling that the aches and pains of late pregnancy were going to be nothing compared to the pain of seeing Viktor.
“Why am I doing this again?” I asked, absently rubbing my hand over my stomach.
“Closure,” Dion said and pulled the car to a stop as a man appeared out of the guard room and approached us.
“What can I help—” bending into Dion’s rolled down window, the blond man peered at him with barely hidden disdain. Then, his eyes found mine, and I let out a startled breath.
“Leah?”
“Stephen.” Fumbling, I pushed open the door and rushed around the car toward him, enveloping him in a hug that I meant to be crushing but was just awkward because of my huge stomach.
“Stephen, I thought you were dead.” Tears welled up in my eyes.
He gave me his familiar lop-sided smile and stepped away. “Technically, I died twice, but I’m ok now. Viktor let me come back. Now, let me look at you?” His eyes pursued me. His eyebrows raised when he saw my stomach. “Jesus, Leah, you are huge.”
From the car, Dion chuckled. “Brave, stupid man,” he mumbled under his breath.
“It’s good to see you again, Leah, and I’m glad you are doing ok. I kind of miss guarding your annoying ass, but I have to ask,” half turning, he frowned, and following his gaze, I saw a car approach. “What are you doing here?”
Black and sporty.
My heart skipped a beat. There was only one person here who would drive a car like that.
“You need to leave, Leah,” Stephen whispered with a shake of his head. “Turn around and do not come back. Spend his money and build a good life for yourself and that baby. Do it now, Leah. You don’t want to see him.”
“Is he with someone new?” I choked from the pain of it. I’d run a thousand scenarios in my head, but none of them had involved another woman.
I don’t know why, but they didn’t.
The black car slowed to a stop and waited. It felt like it was watching me.
Viktor was behind that darkly tinted window.
“Go, Leah. Don’t come back.” Stephen turned on his heel and walked away. “Please look after yourself, though,” he added quietly.
I didn’t move. It was like I couldn’t. The gate opened, but the car in front of me didn’t move.
And then the passenger door opened, and the world tilted around me. I held my breath and waited to see him for the first time in five months.
I was about to see Viktor again. My whole body tightened as I prepared myself. And then Ivan stepped out.
It was like I had prepared myself for nothing. He strode forward. His expression was completely blank.
“Hey, Leah, is something wrong?” Stopping right in front of me, he took me in, and the smallest of smiles tilted up the corners of his mouth.
“I-uh?” I stammered, suddenly tongue-tied. Why couldn’t I get the words out? “I’m.—”
A knowing look entered his eyes. Carefully, he took my elbow and began guiding me back to the car slowly because I couldn’t do much more than shuffle.
“Do you need something for the baby? Is there something wrong?”
I shook my head. “I just wanted to see him.”
The understanding turned to sympathy as we reached the car door, and he opened it for me. “I know you do, Leah, but you can’t. You’re marriage is over. If you need more money, then I will arrange it.”
I dragged my arm out of his grasp. “I don’t want his money, Ivan. I don’t want anything from him but to talk.”
“He doesn’t want to talk to you, Leah. You need to go home. How about I come and talk to you next week?”
“It’s fine, Ivan. I’ll talk to her.”
Over Ivan’s shoulder, I watched Viktor unfold himself from the car. The sun shone on his dark hair and made it shine. It was longer now and looked ultra soft.
He strode forward, looking like a million dollars in his shirt and pants. The top two buttons were open. I could see a gold chain around his neck.
He’d never worn a chain before, so that was new.
He looked completely relaxed, like he didn’t have a care in the world.
In other words, he looked the opposite to me because I was a hot, sweaty mess.
He came to a stop in front of me, so close that I could smell his aftershave and the manly cinnamon scent of his skin.
It affected me, the very sight of him, and being this close to him made me breathless.
“Hello, Printsessa.”