Chapter 22
Miles
Ihad no idea how much time passed. No concept of what was going on outside the bunker. All I could do was watch Sofia sleep, too afraid to move in case she woke and attempted to take her life again.
My back ached from where I’d been hunched over in the chair beside the bed, staring at her from the minute I carried her out of the bathroom and laid her down.
After puking up the pills, Sofia’s entire body sagged against me, depleted of energy, as the shower turned from warm to tepid.
She was like a ragdoll as I stripped her out of her dress, cleaned up the mess between her thighs, and re-dressed her in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt I’d stashed away when we fitted out the bunker.
Her eyes stayed open, but had glazed over as if she wasn’t seeing a single thing, and that vacant look was like a knife to my heart. Her sparkling blue orbs didn’t sparkle, and fuck, I would have given my soul to the devil just to see them shine again.
She closed her eyes once she was tucked under the covers, and it wasn’t long until her breathing deepened as sleep claimed her. And all I could do was watch her.
Watch, and realize what a stupid fucking idiot I’d been.
For once, my head was silent. No noise. No images of Theo. Sofia consumed me, and I allowed it. Allowed myself to acknowledge how I felt about her, and how soul-destroying it would have been if I hadn’t gotten to her in time.
It was a sharp fucking wake up call.
I’d blamed her for so much: the way Theo felt about her; the way I felt about her. The lies she told, and the lies I was forced into telling Theo.
But that was unfair.
She never knew the impact her appearance at Exotique would have had four years ago. She never knew the chain of events she would set off. I blamed her, when the truth was, it was easier to blame her than admit how gutted I was that she’d given her attention to Theo, and not me.
Maybe if I’d stopped blaming her before now, she wouldn’t have found herself in a situation where death was her only way out.
Sofia’s petite body shifted, and my heart damn near leaped into my throat when her eyelids fluttered open. Relief swamped me; while her eyes weren’t shining, they were no longer vacant.
“Hi,” she rasped.
“Hi.” A few tense beats passed between us before I added, “How are you feeling?”
Slowly, she pulled herself up to a sitting position, her back resting against the headboard. “Other than mortified? My throat hurts a little.”
Reluctant to leave her, I darted to the kitchenette and grabbed a bottle of water, hurrying back to give it to her. She took it with a grateful smile.
When she finished guzzling the entire bottle, she replaced the cap and met my gaze again. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice cracking.
I shook my head. “It’s me who should be apologizing, Jailbait. If I hadn’t treated you the way I had-”
“It wasn’t that,” she interrupted, her eyes falling to where her hands rested in her lap. “Well, maybe a little. But…” she trailed off as she lifted her head again, her eyes filled with unshed tears. “Everything got too much. The way things are between us. Papa demanding that I get pregnant-”
“What?”
Her cheeks heated as she grimaced. “The night before the wedding, Papa told me that I had to get pregnant to strengthen our family ties. He threatened to hurt Rafe if I didn’t.”
Betrayal warred with defeat, and I couldn't stop the sad smile from tugging my lips to one side. “So that’s why you wanted me to fuck you.”
“No.” Her head whipped up, panic flaring in her eyes.
“No, that wasn’t the reason. I… thought you were in the club fucking other women, and I…
I was jealous. I hated the thought of you with someone else.
It didn’t register until I was in the bathroom earlier that us fucking without a condom could result in me getting pregnant. That’s what pushed me over the edge.”
Anger extinguished any other emotion brewing under my skin, only it wasn’t aimed at Sofia, but Georgio fucking Bianchi. What I would have given to have a few hours with the cunt strapped to the chair in the den; I had a few torture devices I could have tested out on him.
“You’re not pregnant,” I said, deciding it was my turn to be truthful. Her brows pulled together in confusion before I added, “I can’t have children.”
She blinked several times as if she was trying to decipher what I’d just said. “Can I ask why?” she asked softly. Hesitantly.
“Because I was the product of an accident, something my father reminded me of time and time again when I was growing up. He married my mom out of duty because he knocked her up, but they hated each other, and I was the source of their resentment. I always knew I didn’t want children, and I didn’t want to find myself in a position like my father, raising a child I didn’t want, so as soon as I turned eighteen, I had a vasectomy. ”
Sofia gaped at me, her eyes wide. For a solid minute, neither of us spoke until her shoulders slumped almost in resignation. I couldn’t help a question slipping from my lips. “Do you want children one day?
She didn’t reply for a tense few seconds, her features turning thoughtful until she spoke, her tone soft.
“No. I was always told that one day, I’d be expected to give the man I marry an heir, so I never really considered a future without children.
But honestly, given the choice? I don’t think I want kids.
This isn’t a life I would want for anyone.
” She sighed heavily before adding, “If only I was able to make the choice for myself.”
“You can.” Not thinking, I moved from the chair to sit on the bed, grabbing her hand. “Sofe, you are your own person. No one gets to decide important things about your life like whether you have kids or-”
“Or who I marry?” she said, cutting me off with a raised brow. “That’s where you’re wrong, Miles. You grew up being told you were the product of an accident. I grew up being told I had one purpose in life: to further my Papa’s organization.”
“That’s bullshit. You’re more than that.”
“Am I?” she replied, dejection in her tone. “You and I both know that all I am is Georgio Bianchi’s princess. That’s all anyone ever sees.”
Her eyes filled with sorrow, and her gaze dropped.
I reached out, snatching her chin and lifting her face.
“It’s bullshit,” I growled again. “You think I don’t see you, Jailbait?
You think I don’t see the way you light up when you’re giving me shit?
You think I don’t see the smile on your face when you’re helping Riley at the crisis center?
Or the way you demand everyone look at you when you’re pouring your heart and soul into every song you sing?
Your father might be fucking blind to his daughter, but I’m not blind to my wife. ”
Fuck. I’d said too much, unable to stop my secrets from spilling out. I dropped her chin and looked away, cursing myself for not keeping my mouth shut.
“What…what do you mean you see me at the crisis center?” I didn’t reply.
What was I supposed to say, ‘Yeah, both times you’ve been there, I’ve hacked into the security cameras so I could watch you’?
“Miles!” she shrieked. “That wasn’t the first time you came to Bar Forty-Four, was it?
The night you stopped me from being attacked. ”
Without the tiniest bit of remorse, I met her inquisitive gaze. “No.”
Her breath hitched as she stared wide-eyed at me. “How many times did you come?”
I swallowed. “Every time you sang there after your father agreed to the marriage.”
I barely had time to brace as she launched at me, her mouth slamming down on mine. Somehow, she wriggled from under the covers, moving to straddle me with her legs wrapped around my waist.
Our tongues dueled, battling for dominance as I slid a hand up her shirt to grip her hip firmly. In the back of my head, a voice told me to stop, that if I fucked her again, I’d be betraying Theo once more.
And yet, I couldn’t stop.
I laced my fingers through her hair and flipped her onto her back, settling between her legs and hovering over her. Blood rushed to my cock, not helped when she nipped at my lip. I thrust my hips against her core, not missing the wince on her face, which instantly cooled me.
“Sofe, we shouldn’t.”
“Why?” she whispered, hurt flashing across her face.
“I hurt you earlier. I shouldn’t have been so rough with you-”
“I wanted you to be rough. I…I liked it. A lot.”
Fuuuuuuuck.
More blood rushed to my already rock-hard cock. “You did, huh?” She hummed her response as she nibbled on my lip again. Fucking fuck, I liked that way too much. Still, I pulled away. “It was still your first time, Jailbait. I should have eased you in.”
A salacious grin pulled at her lips as her hand slid from behind my neck to run down my chest, stopping just short of dipping into the waistband of my sweats. “Exactly how would you have eased me in?”
Holy fucking hell. I didn’t have the restraint for her teasing. The slightest bit of hesitance still lingering inside me vanished in a beat, and the little voice reminding me of Theo fell silent.
I lowered my face to hers, our lips brushing as I spoke.
“I would have taken my time to kiss every part of your body.” I moved to place little kisses along her jawline, relishing in the taste of her skin.
Her breath accelerated with every press of my lips, spurring me on.
“And then I would have stripped you so I could explore every inch of you.”
“Like this?” she wriggled underneath me to pull her T-shirt over her head, revealing her luscious tits.
When I dressed her earlier after the shower, I’d left her bra off; it was soaked, and the bunker wasn’t equipped for female visitors. In her comatose state, I’d done my best not to ogle, but now, with her more than willing, I let my eyes roam over her pert, dusky nipples, my mouth watering.