Chapter Eight
Brynn
I’VE BEEN HOME for three days and it’s been a reminder about why I left to begin with.
Every single time I see Zoey and Maddox, they have some smart ass comment to make about me and how I’m not doing anything with my life while expecting my family to support me.
Zoey has been worse than Maddox by far with her superior attitude toward me.
That’s why after the first day of showing up at the clubhouse to see everyone, I’ve stayed at the house and tried so hard not to talk to anyone else.
Zoey couldn’t accept that though, she has shown up here twice under the guise of needing something or getting something for our mom.
Really, she just wanted to talk shit to me once again.
I’m over it and have been debating leaving and just heading somewhere else while I figure out what to do—go back to Pine View or find somewhere else to live.
Waking up, my phone is ringing off the hook.
I stretch my body out before grabbing it off the stand next to me.
Looking at the screen of my phone, I see my grandpa’s name flashing.
“’Lo,”
I answer the phone, stretching out once again as my grandpa starts laughing in the background.
“Still sleepin’, sweetheart?”
he asks me, the mirth I’ve always loved from him loud and clear as he waits for my response.
“Yeah.
Didn’t sleep really good last night,”
I answer him, awake now as I sit up in bed and look around at my room.
I wasn’t like other kids who put posters of athletes or other celebrities up on their walls.
There are no trophies gracing my shelves either.
I’ve got photos from my childhood and family placed in my room, books of all kinds, and the one poster I have on the wall is a book cover that’s one of my favorites.
In the corner is a chair that I fell in love with to sit and read in after my homework was done each night.
Everything in this room is all me and it only shows how different I am from the rest of my family.
“Why didn’t you sleep?”
my grandpa questions me, concern filling his voice as it gets the hard edge I don’t normally hear when he’s talking to me.
“Got a lot on my mind, Grandpa,”
I answer him honestly while sinking back against my pillows and pulling the blankets up higher on me.
“Come to the clubhouse, Brynn.
Have lunch with me,”
he orders as I look around my room again.
“Um, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.
Already made a fool of myself in front of everyone once since I’ve been here.
Not looking to have a repeat performance,”
I state thinking of the first day I was here.
I was sitting at a table with my grandpa, grandma, and my parents.
We were all eating lunch and not really talking.
All four of them know something is going on with me, but haven’t asked me yet.
I know part of the reason is they want me to open up and tell them on my own.
The second they realize I won’t open up, I’ll get bombarded with questions and it won’t stop until they know why I ran home when I haven’t been here since I left to move to Pine View.
“Must be nice to sit on your ass and do nothing while the rest of the people here work for their money,”
my sister says, walking up to our table and looking down on me.
No one says a word to her as she smirks at me.
“I can work from wherever I am, Zoey,”
I answer, keeping my voice calm and even.
“You’re never gonna make any money writing, Brynn.
It’s just an excuse not to get a job and live off our parents’ money,”
she states, her voice loud as everyone in the common room turns their attention toward us and I feel my face heat from embarrassment.
Instead of answering, I jumped out of my seat and rushed from the clubhouse, slamming into the door frame of the front door and almost falling on my ass as a few people laughed at me before I finally got outside and raced to the safety of my car to head to the house my parents own.
Tears stream down my face and my heart breaks with the knowledge that nothing will ever change.
I will always be the one person no one here wants around.
“Not askin’, Brynn.
Come to lunch.
Zoey was out of line and she knows it,”
he states, his voice sending a chill through me from how hard and cold it is.
“I’ll be there in a half hour,”
I relent, my voice a whisper as my grandpa hangs up the phone like normal and I slowly get out of bed.
I head for the shower and let the hot water ease the tension in my body.
Today is going to be a rough day and I know it’s going to make or break me.
I have a feeling everyone will be at the clubhouse when I get there and Maddox and Zoey will do their best to humiliate me again.
Tears fall from my eyes as I wash and condition my hair before moving on to washing my body.
Once I’ve rinsed all the soap off, I grab a towel and wrap my hair up before drying off and wrapping the second one around my body.
Heading in my room, I grab a pair of jeans and one of my dad’s old tee-shirts.
I usually sleep in it, but today I want his comfort wrapped around me for whatever I’m about to face.
Other than brushing my hair and throwing it up in a messy bun, I don’t do any make-up or worry about how I look.
No one cares one way or another and it’s going to be pointless worrying about it when I’ll just end up in tears once again.
With no other reason to stall, I grab my keys and head out of the house to my car parked in the garage.
The drive to the clubhouse is quick and before I know it, I’m driving through the gate.
I offer a wave to the Prospect standing at the gatehouse before continuing on to the parking lot and parking my car.
The lot is full of vehicles and I know my grandpa set me up.
Every member’s bike is parked in a line at the front of the clubhouse with everyone else parking in the spots outlined.
I choose a spot I can easily get out of when the shit hits the fan.
Taking a deep breath, I shut off the engine and get out of my car.
My feet feel like lead weights are attached to them as I take each step closer to the clubhouse door.
Years of running in and out of this door would typically bring a smile to my face.
Today only brings a sense of dread and fear.
For the first time I’m scared of being at the clubhouse and that’s not a good thing.
“I see you’ve chosen to return,”
my sister’s voice immediately rings out the second I step through the door to find a full common room.
“Didn’t think you’d have the guts to stop by again.”
“Leave me alone, Zoey.
Grandpa, if this is why you called me down here, I’m leaving.
And I don’t mean I’ll be going back to the house for the day.
I’ll get my stuff and leave here again.
I won’t be returning either,”
I announce, looking at my parents and grandparents as they sit at one of the larger tables with my uncle Ace, aunt Blayke, their kids, my sister, brother, and Maddox’ girlfriend.
This one is new and I’ve never met her before.
“This is enough.
Zoey, I don’t know why you have to pick on Brynn every fuckin’ time you see her, but it’s gotten old.
The same with you, Maddox.
Both of you are worse than everyone in this room, but all of us have played our part over the years,”
my grandpa says, his voice loud in the silent room.
“Brynn, you’re family and this will always be your home.
The teasin’ has gone too far once again and you need to learn to fight and stand up for yourself instead of runnin’ away.
That’s why none of the adults have ever stepped in to say anythin’.
We want you to say it yourself.”
“You want me to stand up for myself.
Okay.
How about every single day of my life when Zoey and Maddox wouldn’t stop teasing me until I was in tears? Or how the only time any of the other kids here would play with me is when one of you adults would force them too?
What about every fucking day from the time I was in fifth grade when I was bullied, hit, spit on, taunted, and called a whore?
Of never having a boyfriend because everyone in this town called me nothing more than a biker whore? And now I find out none of you stepped up for me because you wanted me to grow a backbone and stand up for myself.
“Every single person in this room has told me constantly growing up that you're my family.
Well, as far as I know, this isn’t how family treats one of their own.
When Zoey had a hard time adjusting to living away from home when she moved to college, you all stepped up to comfort her and make sure she knew she was loved.
Maddox is now a member of the club but when he was going through his shit when he broke up with his girlfriend, you were all there for him to pull him off the ledge.
I’m the one who has to grow a backbone though?
“No, I don’t work a job like the rest of you.
But I am sick and fucking tired of it being said I live off of my parents’ money.
I haven’t taken a single penny from Mom and Dad or anyone else here.
I live on my own and pay all of my bills.
I bought my car without help from anyone.
Every custom piece on my bike was bought with my own money.
I didn’t move back home when shit got hard.
The only reason I came back here now is because once again I believed someone’s lies and made a fool of myself.
Growing up, I swore I’d never date a biker.
Still, I started to fall for one and it turns out it was nothing more than a bet on his end. He lost and had to ask someone out on a date. I was the lucky fool.
“I truly love each and every person in this room.
I would always be there for you no matter what’s going on.
Over the years, I’ve been shown repeatedly that’s not the case when it comes to me.
I’ve cried silent tears when I’ve been bullied to the point there were countless bruises on my body.
Of being made to feel as if no one here wants me because I’m the ‘oops’ baby.
I can’t do this anymore.
I’m done.
You got what you want, Zoey.
I’m no longer part of this family and will never return here again.
I hope you all enjoy your lunch and have a nice life. It won’t take you very long to forget me at all.
“I know I’m nothing more than the baby no one wanted.
The annoying brat you all were forced to play with when you didn’t want to.
The lonely girl who had no friends or anyone else I could confide in when I was growing up.
I’m a joke and worth nothing more than being a bet to some guy I thought was being genuine.
I will never grace you with all that I am from here on out.
You’ve finally all gotten what you wanted,”
I state, the tears falling from my eyes as I take one last look around the room and leave the clubhouse for the last time.
“Brynn!”
my dad calls out as I walk faster and ignore him calling out for me along with a few other people.
Before long, I’m running to my car.
I pull open the door and get inside before slamming it behind me.
Starting the engine, I put it in reverse and back out of the parking spot just as my parents, grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins, Maddox, and Zoey run out of the clubhouse.
It’s too late as far as I’m concerned.
I plan on going to the house, grabbing my things, and leaving here for the last time.
They can throw all of my things out for all I care.
I’m over everyone here and no one’s going to change my mind.
Today is the last straw and I can’t handle it any longer.
A fter gathering my things and leaving the house, I knew I was in no shape to drive a long distance.
The tears alone were enough to blur my vision to the point I could hardly see the road in front of me.
I drive far enough to check into a motel on the outskirts of town.
I know it’s not the best option for me to stay right now.
This place is full of prostitutes, drug dealers, and all sorts of assholes who stare at me as I make my way to my room.
Thankfully it’s on the first floor and not far from the office.
I could tell the man behind the desk didn’t want me to rent a room, but didn’t stop me because of the tears still streaming down my face.
He took pity on me and let me rent a room.
I won’t stay here longer than tonight.
For right now, I just need somewhere to get out of my car and a place to hide away.
I shut the door of my room behind me and make sure no one can get inside.
Putting a chair under the handle, I lock the deadbolt and chain knowing those alone won’t be enough to keep someone from getting to me.
I’m in a vulnerable position here but I couldn’t drive a second farther.
The tears are still rolling down my face and I know they won’t stop any time soon.
After securing the door, I make my way to the bathroom and turn on the water as hot as it will go.
The bathroom instantly fills with steam and I know it’s going to be too hot for my skin.
Turning on the cold water just enough to take the edge of the hot water, I strip out of my clothing and leave them in a pile on the floor at my feet.
Stepping inside the shower, I sink to a crouch and let the water pour down over me.
Now no one can tell I’m crying as I let my head hang forward as I reach up and pull my hair tie from my hair so it curtains my face off from the rest of the world.
I’ve honestly never felt more alone than I do right this second.
Yes, there have been plenty of times over the years where I’ve felt so alone I couldn’t think straight.
This is so much worse than anything I’ve ever experienced before.
For the first time in my life, I’ve cut myself off from everyone.
There is no turning to my family when things get too hard.
And that means not telling them about my stalker because they won’t do anything about it.
Zoey will say something about me faking or something for attention and that will be all there is to it.
I remain in the shower until the water turns cold.
Getting out, my skin is pruned from being in the water so long.
Wrapping a towel around my hair and body, I make my way out of the bathroom and straight for my bag where my clothing is packed.
Grabbing out a pair of leggings and an overly large tee-shirt, I quickly dress and leave the towel in my hair.
Before I can sit on the sketchy bed, there’s a loud pounding on my door.
It’s so loud, it startles me and I jump.
“Brynn, open the fuckin’ door!”
my dad’s voice comes from the other side of the door.
“I know you’re in here and this isn’t the fuckin’ place for you to be.”
The fear and concern my dad is feeling fills his voice as I remain rooted to the spot where I stand.
“Brynn, sweetheart, you need to open the door,”
my grandpa says, his voice loud and clear as the pounding starts up once again.
Finally, I make my way to the door with more tears falling down my face.
Moving the chair, I unlock the deadbolt and chain.
Opening the door, I find my parents, grandparents, aunt, uncle, brother, and sister.
They’re all standing in front of me and waiting for me to say something to them.
“What are you doing here?”
I ask, my voice a broken whisper as I look at the floor.
“You’re here where you don’t belong, baby girl,”
my Uncle Ace says, his voice soft as he takes a tentative step toward me.
“I’m exactly where I belong.
Away from the clubhouse and those of you who used to be my family,”
I tell them, my voice breaking even more.
“You’ve all made your stance on my place in this family over the years and it doesn’t have anything to do with me getting stronger or growing a backbone.”
“We were wrong, Brynn,”
Zoey says, her voice wavering with emotion as she steps forward but remains a safe distance from me.
“You’ve always seemed so fucking strong and we didn’t think the teasing bothered you.
You have to know I love you and am so fucking proud of what you’re doing.
You’re making a career out of the one thing you love to do in the world and you’re doing it all on your own.
I know you’re not taking any money from our parents or anyone else.
Everything you do is all on your own and I’m honestly jealous of how strong and independent you are.
I’m sorry, Brynn.
Please know it was never my intention to hurt you.”
“You’re more than anythin’ you said back in the clubhouse, Brynn.
You’re my grandbaby and the best person I’ve ever met in my life.
If you thought that guy was genuine, then I’m willin’ to bet he was.
Did the way you met start off on a bet? Yeah.
Does that mean he didn’t genuinely like you or want to be with you?”
my grandpa asks me, his voice the softest I’ve ever heard it.
“I think if you go back and talk to him, he’ll tell exactly what I’m sayin’.
My biggest issue is that you were bullied for so long and you never once spoke up about it.
I can’t do anythin’ to protect you if I don’t know what’s goin’ on.
Your dad can’t protect you if he doesn’t know.
Trust me, everyone else will be gettin’ their asses chewed out when I get back to the compound.
This is long overdue and I’m sorry we didn’t notice how you felt about all of this until now.
It took you breakin’ completely for us to learn shit we should’ve handled years ago.”
“I didn’t tell anyone because it didn’t matter.
I was always an afterthought and my shit didn’t matter.
Zoey was doing her thing.
Maddox was so wrapped up in waiting to Prospect for the club.
Everyone was so much older than me and I was always left out,”
I answer my grandpa.
“Bullshit!”
Maddox growls out, his voice hard.
“You’re my baby sister and I would’ve been there for you in a fuckin’ heartbeat, Brynn.
I love you and my heart fuckin’ breaks because you don’t see it.
You’re the best person I know and I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you over the years.”
“Sweetheart, you might not have been planned, but it doesn’t mean we love you any less.
Yeah, we were there for your brother and sister more than we should’ve been.
You seemed so content to be in your own world and be by yourself instead of joinin’ in with everyone else.
If we had known it was because you felt like you were a burden or that no one wanted to spend time with you, we would’ve told you that wasn’t the case.
Yes, all the older kids had their own shit goin’ on, but it doesn’t mean you’re not part of their family and that they wouldn’t have been there for you like they were everyone else.
All you had to do was open your mouth and talk to us, Brynn,”
my dad says, pushing past everyone to pull me into his arms and hold me close.
My dad’s body is shaking and I know he’s crying.
He doesn’t ever cry.
He’s one of the strongest men I’ve ever met in my life and this breaks my heart to know he’s crying right now.
In minutes I’m surrounded by my entire family in one large group hug.
Everyone is touching me and trying their best to hug me.
I can hear my mom and grandma crying as they move in closer to me.
“We all love you, darling.
You’re the one person in our lives we never knew we needed.
Your birth showed us all a new kind of love.
Yes, we wanted to protect you and we failed in doing that.
At the same time, we knew you were the one who had to do things on your own.
You had to fight your own battles because that’s the kind of girl you are,”
my grandma says as I look up to find my mom crying so hard she can barely breathe.
“I failed you,”
she chokes out on broken sobs as she moves in closer to me.
“I don’t need to hear your words,”
I state, not wanting to believe anyone surrounding me.
“I’m gonna head back to Pine View and make a decision about what to do from there.”
“You’re gonna stay in Pine View,”
my Aunt Blayke says, her voice hard as she pushes past everyone to get closer to me.
“We all failed you when you needed us the most.
That’s a burden we’ll have to live with for the rest of our lives.
Because of our failure, you’re the strongest one of us all.
Go back to Pine View and figure out what this guy truly wants with you, Brynn.
If he’s only using you to win some stupid fucking bet, then you fucking leave his ass there and don’t let him chase you out of Pine View where you’ve started to build your life.
Forget him and everything you thought you had with him.
You live your life the way you want and continue building it in Pine View.
Baby girl, you don’t ever let the rest of us or a man dictate what you fucking do or where you live.”
“Come home, baby,”
my dad says, his voice soft and gentle reminding me of a day when he was teaching me how to ride my bike and I fell off and skinned my knees.
He bandaged me up and wiped up my tears.
It takes me a long time to make a decision.
“I’ll come home tonight.
I can’t guarantee that I’ll ever come back again once I leave.
You’ve all hurt me so much over the years and that’s going to take a long time to come back from.
I don’t want to hurt any of you, but this is what I have to do for me.
I need time and distance until I’m fully prepared to forgive you.”
“We’ll take it.
And all of us will do everythin’ in our power to show you how truly sorry we are and how much we love you,”
my grandpa states, walking over to grab my bags before leading me from the room.
Everyone follows us as my dad helps me in my car while Maddox takes the room key back to the front desk to turn it in.
My mom gives me a hug and kiss on the top of my head before I get in my car and watch while the rest of my family get on the bikes they rode here on.
My sister gets in her car and we wait for my brother to come back out and get on his bike.
Together, we all leave the motel and head back to the compound.
I’m in the middle and don’t get the chance to pull off to go to the house where I’ve been staying.
I’m led to the compound where my parents take me up to their house and I make my way to the room I have here.
My family leaves me alone and I’m grateful as I climb into bed and pull the covers up over my head where I promptly fall asleep.