11. Fiona
Chapter Eleven
FIONA
I’m pretty sure making out with the boss was not in my job description.
I head back to my office in a daze with my lips still tingling from the kiss. If I can even call it a kiss. It felt more like Cormac was claiming me. And from the dull throb between my thighs, I did not want it to stop.
This is bad. Very, very bad. I mean, he’s my boss.
But that seems to be the part that turns me on the most, and the fact that anyone could have come in and caught us making out makes me shiver with nervous excitement.
However, Cormac clearly did not feel the same, which hurts more than I care to admit.
I don’t understand how one minute he’s kissing me like he wants to rip my clothes off and fuck me right there on the desk, and in the next breath, he’s telling me it will never happen again.
He didn’t technically say the kiss was a mistake, but he didn’t have to. The regret was written all over his face.
I sit back at my desk and stare blankly at my computer screen, my thoughts too muddled to focus on the spreadsheet in front of me.
Cormac kissed me.
He kissed me.
I replay it in my head over and over again.
The way he rounded the desk and stalked toward me like a predator hunting his prey made me feel alive.
He might have been furious and looked seconds away from trashing his office in a fit of rage, but I didn’t cower away from him. For once, I wanted to push his buttons to see how far he would go, and it worked.
Cormac snapped, and that rage instantly turned into hunger that I know cannot simply be ignored, no matter how badly he wishes it to be otherwise.
It’s clear from the conversation I overheard today that he has a deep dislike of me being here.
Not that it comes as a surprise, given how he has treated me over the past few days.
Because of that, it’s likely he’s never going to trust me enough to share the sort of information that Lorcan is looking for.
So, I’m going to need another angle.
I touch my fingers to my lips, thinking of the kiss.
Could this be my way in? Could I use this clear desire that Cormac has for me as a trap and offer myself up as bait?
“You may have just shown your hand, Cormac Sullivan,” I mutter to myself.
At six o’clock, I decide to pack up for the evening. I’ve been here for almost twelve hours and have not stopped since the moment I stepped off the elevator.
I always thought being a personal assistant would be a pretty stress-free job that involved coffee runs and picking up suits from the dry cleaners, but apparently, that only exists in movies or for people who don’t have Cormac Sullivan as their boss.
My feet are already aching from my heels, but tonight is the night I promised to meet Zoe at Espionage for drinks and dancing.
I almost wish Cormac would appear out of his office with a stack of paperwork for me to file just to give me a reason not to go, considering I haven’t exactly told Zoe about the whole “forced out of a job” thing, let alone the “secretly spying on my boss to pay a life debt” thing either.
Maybe it’s good that we’re going to a bar because I’m going to need to make sure she has a cocktail in her hand if I decide to tell her.
As I pass Cormac’s office, I glance in and find he’s not there.
Interesting… I wonder if he’s avoiding me?
A smug smile tugs at my lips at the thought.
Espionage is already packed with the after-work crowd, and it takes me a minute to fight my way through to the bar, where I find Zoe chatting up one of the bartenders.
She must have gone home to change, as she’s wearing a strappy mini dress and knee-high boots that have the bartender practically drooling.
“It’s good to see your hair hasn’t fallen out.” I tug on one of her space buns.
“Fi! You came!” Zoe squeals, throwing her arms around my neck and planting a kiss on my cheek.
I hug her back. “I promised, didn’t I? Sorry, I didn’t have a chance to change.”
She eyes my red dress. “I haven’t seen this before. Is that new?”
“No, why?”
“It’s very sexy for the office. Anyone you’re trying to impress?”
Oh, I’ve made an impression, all right.
But I let the question go. “What are you drinking? First round’s on me.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s the occasion?” Zoe laughs as she ogles the extremely attractive bartender behind the bar.
“No occasion.”
Zoe glances at me and narrows her eyes in a way that has me cringing.
Cormac could take a page out of her book on intimidation.
“Spill.”
“Trust me. You’re going to want a drink.”
After ordering two extra-spicy margaritas, Zoe and I go in search of a table.
With a few smiles from Zoe, we manage to get a booth tucked away in the corner with a perfect view of the dance floor.
“I am so ready for the tea,” she grins before taking a long sip of her drink and smacking her bright pink lips together.
“Sure you don’t want to drink some more?”
“Uh oh, what did you do?”
“What makes you think I did something?”
“You have that face.”
“What face? This is just my face.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m just going to ignore the fact that you outright insulted me.” I take a sip of my cocktail.
I can already tell that a few sips of this are going to make me tipsy, but maybe that’s not a bad thing, considering the conversation I’m about to have.
“Come out with it already. I’m dying over here!” Zoe whines.
“I have a new job.”
“Really? I didn’t realize you were interviewing elsewhere.”
“I wasn’t.”
Zoe sets down her glass and frowns at me. “Fi… What the hell is going on?”
I take another long sip of my cocktail for liquid courage before filling Zoe in on everything, though I leave out the part where I’m secretly working as a spy for Lorcan Sullivan.
“So, you’re an assistant?” Zoe asks once I’ve finished.
“Yes.”
“For Cormac Sullivan.”
“Yes.”
“Sullivan… As in?”
“The Sullivans.”
“Holy shit.”
I let Zoe marinade on the information as she downs the rest of her drink. Every expression passes over her face as she goes from shocked to horrified to downright angry.
“This doesn’t make sense, Fi. You hate families like the Sullivans, and now you’re working for one?”
She’s not wrong.
Though Zoe doesn’t know the full story of my relationship with Freddy, she knows enough to understand why I have such a deep hatred for families like Cormac’s and the values they stand for.
So, I can understand her confusion when I turn around and tell her I’m suddenly on the Sullivans’ payroll.
People like Cormac and his brothers, they don’t care about anyone but themselves. They think nothing of tossing people aside and leaving them to choke on their own blood. They’re monsters. Something I would do well to remember.
“I just don’t understand why you would give up your job, a job that you loved and worked extremely hard for, by the way, to go and work for Cormac Sullivan. It makes no sense. Unless… Are you in trouble? Is that it?” She looks panicked.
The words are on the tip of my tongue, but, of course, I don’t admit the truth.
The fewer people who know about my debt with Lorcan, the better. I can’t risk Zoe trying to help and accidentally getting dragged into my mess. It’s not worth it.
So, I plaster a smile on my face and hope to God she can’t see through it. “This was too good of an opportunity to pass up.”
“Being a personal assistant? Seriously? Come on, Fiona. You’re better than that.”
Don’t remind me.
“It’s not just about fetching coffee.”
“But your degree…”
“What about my degree?”
“I thought the whole point was to work for the FBI, not an investment firm.”
“That dream isn’t going anywhere.” Though I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince at this point. “With my new salary, I can easily clear my student loans and gain some valuable experience that I can use elsewhere when the time comes.”
“So, this is about money? If you needed help?—”
“No, it’s not about money. It’s purely a strategic career move, nothing more.”
Zoe looks anything but convinced.
“Is this because of Carly?”
I can’t help but flinch.
This has everything to do with Carly, but not in the way she thinks. And I can’t tell Zoe that.
“What do you mean?” I run my finger along the rim of my glass and lick the salt off.
“It’s just…this week has been tough with it being the one-year anniversary, and all.”
“Yeah, but that has nothing to do with getting a new job.”
Zoe shrugs as she looks down at her empty glass. I have no idea if she believes me or not, but this is as much information as I’m going to give her.
“Have you heard from Joe?”
“He called…” I mutter.
Zoe gasps. “He did? Seriously? What did he say?”
“He needed some information about Carly’s health because Amber is in the hospital undergoing tests for a potential genetic heart condition.”
Zoe gapes at me like a fish out of water.
“You have got to be kidding.”
I sigh. “I wish I was.”
“Is Amber okay?”
“I have no idea. Joe refused to tell me much.”
“What a fucking asshole. I never liked him.”
“All I know is that she’s at the Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital. Apparently, they have the best cardiac department—” my voice catches, and I clamp a hand over my mouth. “Sorry.”
“Oh, Fi. You don’t need to be sorry. This must be so scary.” Zoe slides out of her side of the booth to come and sit beside me.
“I’m not even allowed to see her. And the worst part is I always promised Carly that if something happened, I would make sure her girls were safe, and now I’m breaking that promise.”
Zoe wraps an arm around my shoulder. “But that’s not your fault. It’s Joe’s.”
“Still… I should be fighting him harder.”
Zoe is quiet for a moment as she absentmindedly strokes my arm. “I can talk to my aunt.”
“What?”
“You know, my aunt Cathy? She’s a doctor. I wonder if she can find out what’s going on.”
“I’m not sure it works like that, Zo. You know, what with the whole HIPAA thing.”
“Well, it’s worth a try.”
I fight back tears. “You’re my best friend, you know that?”
She flashes me her signature grin. “It’s come up once or twice. Now, enough of the heavy. Let’s get another round in before hitting the dance floor.”
I only last another hour before I finally give in and head home for the night, leaving Zoe in the very capable hands of Luca, the bartender, who has assured me that he will call her a cab once she’s finished making use of the two-for-one cocktails.
Even after changing back into my sneakers, my feet are still throbbing. If I wasn’t so tired, I would be tempted to soak them in a bowl of ice water when I get home.
It’s only a couple of blocks to my apartment, so I brave the January weather and walk, letting the cold night air clear my head.
This week has been the longest week of my life, save for maybe the week that Carly died. I’m emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted, if that’s even possible.
When I finally make it home, I don’t even bother going into the bathroom to wash my face. I would rather take the hit to my skin than spend another second not being tucked up in my bed.
After pulling on an old college tee and some sweats, I plug my phone into the charger beside my bed and check my messages in case Zoe needs me, but there’s nothing but radio silence.
I’m about to shut it off when a call from Joe lights up the screen.
I bolt upright and answer the call, my heart pounding so hard it beats in my throat.
“Joe? What’s wrong?” I ask, panicked.
“Aunty Fi?”
I would recognize that voice anywhere.
I swallow a sob of relief as I collapse back against the pillows, clutching my phone like it’s a lifeline. “Oh, my god, Amber.”
“I have to be quiet. Daddy’s sleeping.”
“Amber, honey, how did you get this phone?”
“I took it from Daddy’s pocket.”
I know I should tell Amber off, but I’m too overjoyed to be hearing her sweet little voice that I don’t have the heart to be mad.
“I have to be quiet,” she whispers.
“Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” I manage to say despite the tears that are pouring down my face.
“When are you going to visit me?”
I hold the phone away from my ear as I take a shuddering breath. I don’t want Amber to hear how upset I am because I know how she worries. She’s just like me in that sense.
“Soon, I promise.”
“Good because then you can share my chocolate pudding. I’m allowed one every day.”
“You get pudding every day, huh? Sounds like you’re being spoiled.”
“Daddy says it’s okay because I’m sick.”
I didn’t think my heart could break anymore.
“Hopefully, you won’t be sick for much longer.”
“I hope so. I miss my friends.”
“What about Skye? Where is she?”
“With Granny and Grandpa. She’s scared of the hospital, so she stays home. But I asked them to buy her chocolate pudding too so she doesn’t feel left out.”
“You’re such a good big sister.”
“Mommy says that big sisters always look out for their little sisters, like she did with you.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat as I think of Carly.
She may have looked out for me when we were younger, but I’m pretty sure sleeping with your little sister’s boyfriend isn’t listed in the big sister handbook. But that’s not Amber’s fault or her burden to carry.
“She sure did, kiddo.”
“I wish I was allowed to call you. I don’t get why Daddy won’t let me. Are you two fighting?”
“Oh, no, honey. Everything’s fine. He just wants you to focus on getting better, that’s all.”
“Oh, ok… Well, can I call you tomorrow?”
“Sure thing,” I say without missing a beat. “But it’s time for you to go to sleep now, ok?”
“Ok,” Amber mumbles in a sleepy voice.
“Sweet dreams,” I whisper before hanging up the phone.