41. Fiona
Chapter Forty-One
FIONA
Even though the truth is finally out, the first thing I feel is relief.
It’s twisted, I know that, but the moment the words start spilling out of me, something in my chest finally cracks open, and I feel like I can finally take a full breath for the first time in weeks.
Cormac scoffs. “I can’t believe I was stupid enough to fall for you.”
I knew he would be angry when he finally learned I had been working with Lorcan, but what’s even worse is the pain in his eyes.
I hate that I’m the one to cause it, but I can’t take it back. The only thing I can do now is try to explain.
“Who told you?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Because I want to know what you know.”
“I know you’ve been working for my uncle since before I even met you, which tells me all I need to know.”
“I didn’t do this because I wanted to. I did it because my sister was drowning.” My voice is shaking so badly I can barely form the words.
Cormac stands across the office from me, his arms crossed tightly over his chest and his eyes dark and unforgiving.
The distance between us feels miles wide.
I force myself to keep going even as tears blur my vision. “Carly was in trouble. She had a gambling problem. I didn’t know how bad it was at first because she hid it so well. But by the time I finally found out, it was already too late.”
Cormac’s jaw clenches, but he says nothing.
I’m not stupid enough to think that just because he’s giving me the space to explain, it means he’s going to forgive me, no matter how much I wish he could.
“She owed money. A lot of it. And the people she owed it to weren’t the kind you can ignore and hope it will all go away.”
I start to pace the office as I talk, feeling like I might collapse under the weight of all the lies that I’m caught up in.
“I thought I could fix it for Carly, I really did. I thought if I handled it quietly, if I kept it away from Joe and the girls, I could protect them. Protect her.” A strangled sort of laugh escapes my lips, but it quickly turns into a sob.
“I was so stupid not to face the fact that Carly was in deep, and she was dragging all of us down with her. But I didn’t see any other way out. ”
Cormac exhales sharply through his nose, like he’s holding himself back from exploding.
I don’t risk looking at him because I can’t bear to see the distance in his eyes.
“Then she got involved with my boyfriend Freddy and…” I suck in a breath as all of those memories of betrayal come flooding back.
“I don’t know what she was thinking. Maybe she thought Freddy could help because he was caught up with the same sort of people.
Maybe she was hoping he could call in a favor.
But instead, he handed her straight to Lorcan. ”
“Lorcan paid off her debt,” Cormac says, and I nod.
“And when she died…” I exhale shakily. “That debt got transferred to me.”
Cormac laughs then, but the sound is so cold and unlike him that it makes me flinch.
“So, you decided to sell me out.”
I finally look at him. “No. I never told Lorcan anything?—”
Anger flashes in his eyes. “Bullshit! You decided to lie to my face. To my son’s face.”
The word son hits me like a slap in the face.
“I never would have hurt Scout. Never. I swear to you?—”
He growls. “Stop! Just stop lying. You’re beyond that now, so you might as well come clean about how you never gave a shit about me or my family. You used us for your own personal gain.”
I shake my head wildly.
He’s got it so wrong. He’s got me so wrong.
“I’m not lying.”
“You never had feelings for me. This was all part of the job.”
“No! You know that’s not true.”
He takes a step toward me, and I instinctively step back when I see the fury in his eyes.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore.” He looks at me with such disgust.
“I didn’t have a choice?—”
“Don’t act like a martyr. You had a choice, Fiona. You chose to sell me out in order to save your own ass because you thought I was just some rich asshole who deserved whatever Lorcan had coming to him,” venom laces his every word.
“I thought that at first…”
Cormac’s lips curl in disgust.
“But only because of what Lorcan told me. He warned me about what kind of men you and your brothers are. He said that you destroyed people. That anyone who got close to you was already dead, they just didn’t know it yet.”
Cormac’s jaw flexes as he glares at me. “And you believed him.”
“I did. Because believing him meant I didn’t have to feel guilty when Lorcan came knocking.”
Cormac takes a step closer, but this time I don’t back away.
“So, it took you lying to my face, sleeping in my bed, tucking my son in at night… That’s what it took for you to realize we weren’t the monsters you were warned about?”
“I know now. I know it was wrong.”
He scoffs. “Only after weeks of deception.”
I nod as the tears pour down my cheeks. “I thought I could keep it separate. I thought I could give Lorcan what he wanted without it touching you or Scout. I told myself it was just information?—”
Cormac huffs a laugh under his breath. “That’s how it always starts.”
“But then I got to know you and Scout, and I… I fell in love with you.” I sob before I can stop myself. “I didn’t mean to, but I did. And I’m not sorry that this mess brought you and Scout into my life.”
Cormac’s eyes are wild now, the fury seeping through the cracks in his control. “Do you really expect me to believe that after everything you’ve done, your feelings for me are real? That now your loyalty has changed, and you’ve decided my family is worth protecting?”
I shake my head. “I was wrong. About all of it. You and your brothers aren’t the monsters here, Lorcan is.”
“You don’t get credit for realizing the truth after the damage is done.” He clamps a hand around my arm, hard enough to make me gasp in pain.
“I should have seen you for what you were,” he growls in my face. “I never should have let my guard down. But I thought you were different. I thought you were someone worth trusting, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.”
“Cormac, please?—”
He drags me toward the door. “I should lock you in your room, until I decide what the hell to do with you.”
Pain blooms where his fingers dig into my skin, but I don’t fight him.
“Please. Cormac, listen to me.”
“I listened. And that was my mistake.” He yanks the door open.
“I found something on the laptop.”
“Nice try, but you’re beyond redemption now.”
“I don’t care about that, but you need to listen. There’s something on that laptop that can help you take Lorcan down,” I say desperately. “Please, Cormac. Just…look.”
“You can’t buy yourself any more time.”
“You need to listen to me?—”
“You’ve got some nerve, you know that?” Cormac growls, but I’m beyond being intimidated by this version of him, not when the safety of not just him and Scout, but the rest of the Sullivan family is at stake.
“I didn’t delete the file like he asked because I needed to show you the proof of what he’s planning.”
Cormac stops dead in his tracks, but he doesn’t let go of my arm. “What proof?”
I nod toward the laptop on the desk. “See for yourself.”
Cormac releases me abruptly and slams the door shut before stalking over to the desk.
My heart pounds in my chest as I watch him open the laptop.
“Show me.”
I quickly hurry over to the laptop, willing my hands to stop shaking long enough for me to open the file.
“What is this?” Cormac asks when I turn the laptop to show him.
“Mostly financial transfers. To someone named Smirnov,” I explain shakily as Cormac starts scrolling through the file, his expression hardening by the second.
Cormac stares at the screen, one hand braced against the desk like the ground might give way beneath him if he lets go. He’s deathly still as he scrolls through the file again. I’ve never seen him this still before, and it scares me more than his anger ever could.
“Is this everything?”
“No.” I reach for the laptop.
Cormac steps aside so there’s no risk of me accidentally brushing against him.
“There are records of meetings here that prove…” I don’t want to say the words.
“That proves what?”
I take a breath and look at Cormac. “That proves Lorcan didn’t just betray your family, Cormac. He…he was the one who killed your father.”
Cormac’s knuckles turn white as he grips the edge of the desk. “You’re lying.”
“I wish I was.”
“Do you really expect me to believe you?”
“I expect you to believe the data that’s right in front of you. You know how this works, Cormac. This isn’t just about transferring money. It’s about power and protection. There are payments here that line up with shifts in territory from years ago when your father was alive.”
Cormac’s jaw tightens.
“Smirnov benefited from every single one of them,” I continue. “And Lorcan was the one moving the money.”
He slams the laptop shut. “Why are you telling me this? Why do you even care?”
“How can you even ask me that?”
“How can you expect me not to?”
I say nothing, because he’s right.
He turns to face me. “You don’t get to stand there and pretend this makes up for what you did.”
Tears burn my eyes. “I’m not pretending. And I know it doesn’t.”
“Then why the hell are you still here? Why didn’t you just delete the file like he asked?”
“Because I’ve already lost one family… I won’t lose another.” My voice breaks.
Something flickers across his face then. Not forgiveness but…understanding?
“You think this absolves you,” he says coolly as he stalks toward the door.
“No. I think it condemns me.”
That stops him.
“I was never supposed to survive this. Lorcan didn’t bring me into this because he trusted me. He brought me in because I was expendable, because if things went wrong, I would be the one to pay the price.”
Cormac turns around and stares at me like he’s seeing me clearly for the first time. But I can see it in his eyes that he hates what he sees.
“You put my son in danger.”
I sob. Once. “I know. And I will spend the rest of my life paying for that if I have to.”
He steps closer, towering over me. “You don’t get a rest of your life. You get what I decide you get.”
“I know.”
He exhales slowly, scrubbing a hand over his face. “If you’re lying, if even one part of this is false?—”
“I’m not. But you can verify it for yourself. Give it to Kieran or Brennan, to anyone. I don’t care what happens to me after, just…take Lorcan down.”
Cormac looks away then, like he can’t stand to look at me anymore.
“This doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
“I know.”
He goes back over to the desk and picks up the laptop, tucking it under his arm like a weapon.
“But if you’re right, then Lorcan just signed his own death warrant.”
I close my eyes as I exhale a shaky breath.
Because if I’m right, then so did I.