Thirty-Seven - Felix
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Isa had beenbusy during the days after we decided she should go back to Leort before I convinced the node to allow her departure. She had written out theories for why I couldn’t reverse Cecily’s Truth. She had left me with dozens of spells to try. All I needed to do was sign my name at the bottom and pass them through the node.
I spent the first day she was gone testing her Truths without thinking too much about them. It was something to do instead of moping around the castle like a fool. By the second day, though, I began thinking about her theories and comparing the results of the experiments to what I had read in Sebastien’s journals. That was when I had an idea of my own.
I couldn’t directly reverse the curse, it seemed. Maybe, if I ever found the scroll with the exact wording in the archives, that would change, but for now, I had to work around the curse. I decided to try an alteration that wasn’t a reversal to my human form.
I imagined meeting the princess while stuck as a fluffy cat. If I had to show the world I had been cursed, my ego would take it better if I could at least be a fearsome beast. I thought of Isa and the feel of her fingers running through my fur. Perhaps not too fearsome, then.
I scratched out my Truth, signed my name, and hopped into the node. The flames flared a pale indigo, and the paper dissolved. Then the pain of my original transformation washed over me again. I lost consciousness for an unknown length of time. When I came back to myself, I was still sprawled in the brazier, but I no longer fit comfortably.
I tried to puzzle out that discomfort, but my thoughts were sluggish. I lost track of time again, but eventually my mind cleared enough that I thought to lift my front leg. Still fluffy, with black fur morphing into white at the paw, but no longer small. I jumped—or rather tumbled—out of the node and tried to find my balance. When I recovered, I discovered the plinth next to me came only to my shoulder. I looked into the flames and laughed.
This was much better. I had kept the same feline form, the same proportions, but I was now a hunting cat rather than a house cat. That I could transform at all, even if only in size, gave me hope that I could break the curse.
I spent the rest of the day in the archives, enjoying the ease with which I could swipe scrolls off even the highest shelves. It was still very difficult to unroll them, but I’d take what I could get. I searched almost haphazardly, alternating between looking at scrolls at random and trying to let instinct guide me to the section that held scrolls with the same level of trueness as Cecily’s curse.
Isa could tell me that the colors and textures I saw were products of my mind all she wanted, but I still didn’t understand what the magic told me beyond the broadest strokes. Entire rows in the archives all looked the same to me when I studied the magic. Even if I could match the textures to a color I saw when using the node, I suspected that I would never see as much nuance as she heard.
But if I could narrow my search area down to a few rows, I could look at every single scroll in that range. Once I found the curse, I’d attempt other alterations that didn’t directly conflict with the wording. If I could transform into a large cat, then I wasn’t trapped in one form.
I wished the mirror worked two ways. Isa would probably have plenty of ideas when she heard I had changed my size successfully.
I snorted. As if that was the reason I wanted to hear her voice.
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It took mostof a day to determine which section of the archives matched the dark violet color I had seen when Cecily cursed me. That section was still large, but not as daunting as the entire archives. The next day it took hours of pawing through scrolls to find the one I wanted. When I found it, I looked at the mess I had made of the archives—the tidying magic of the node hadn’t caught up with the pace of my search—and wondered why I hadn’t done this sooner.
I wouldn’t have known how to narrow my search before Isa, of course, but in the months I had fumbled for a solution without making any progress, I could have made my way through the entirety of the archives. At the very least, I should have realized that if Marc had systematically searched through the archives, he’d have found several scrolls worthy of my attention. I found a dozen Truth scrolls in just the one day. But I had trusted the contract Marc had signed and dismissed the archives from my mind.
I picked up the scroll containing Cecily’s curse in my mouth, nearly forgetting that my larger teeth and stronger jaw necessitated a more delicate grip. Then again, I couldn’t imagine anything so mundane as teeth—even those of a duke cursed into the form of a beast—being enough to damage a scroll created by the node.
I carried the scroll to my office, where I discovered that my change in size introduced an interesting dilemma. I was too large now to sprawl comfortably on the surface of my desk to read. Standing on the floor, however, left me craning myself around awkwardly. Climbing into the chair wasn’t much better, since the only position I could take left me sitting taller than if I were human. I’d have moved to the floor if I didn’t fear the node whisking the scroll away from me in a moment of inattention.
I opted for the chair and fumbled the scroll open.
I had read through the relatively short scroll down in the archives, but now I settled in to analyze it bit by bit. The hardest part was trying not to think about how much better Isa would be at the job. The last thing I wanted was for the node’s power to constrict around her without warning, pulling her back to the castle against her will. I took several minutes to think about how much it mattered that she remain free, that the best way for her to help me return to human form was not to conduct magical experiments, but for me to do everything I could to make sure she didn’t hate me.
My initial scan of Cecily’s curse had given me a fresh burst of hope. The fact that I was still a beast didn’t have to mean that Isa didn’t love me—though I was realistic enough to accept that the odds were slim that she’d fall for a contrary cat who’d stolen her from her life. Nevertheless, according to the curse, there was one more step beyond falling in love. She must also admit her feelings.
After concentrating on all the reasons the node shouldn’t pull Isa back as part of her contract, I tried not to dwell on that aspect of the scroll. I had learned to love, as Cecily’s curse required, but I couldn’t count on Isa falling in love with me. I had to plan for the worst and search for other ways to break the curse.
Cecily had never specified the exact form I was to take, only that I would be the beast that showed my true nature and matched my heart—whatever that meant. That gave me hope that there was more room for me to adjust my form without the node considering it a reversal of her Truth. I wasn’t sure exactly how, however. Apparently, a fluffy cat was the beast form the node had decided matched my essence.
I had several questions about that.
When sunset came, I began talking aloud, telling Isa about my discovery. I didn’t know how long she listened every evening, but I could never stop myself from babbling. I wanted to share all the thoughts that had popped up over the course of the day, the comments I hadn’t been able to direct at her. After a bit, I realized that if Isa was still listening, she’d be quite annoyed that I had told her about finding the curse without reading it to her.
I read it to her, and then, reluctantly, cut off my monologue. I bid her goodnight. A few minutes later, when she certainly would have ended the spell, I couldn’t help but add, “I miss you.”