Forty - Isabel
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After my disastroussupper with the princess, I had listened to Felix’s report in almost a fugue state. What did it matter? We were out of time. I only hoped that he could convince Princess Charmina that his actions had been justified. The threat of nodes coming unlocked, the risk of wars over the pools of magic, ought to make her sympathetic to his plight.
Having my father sign a contract that forced me to Rose Castle was nothing when weighed against that. And Felix had done nothing else wrong.
Hearing Felix’s voice didn’t help tonight. Not when I knew the next time I heard it, he’d be forced to defend himself. Even hearing that he had located the scroll with the original wording of the curse couldn’t bring a spark of hope. Too little, too late.
Then he read the curse aloud, and hope was a painful knot in my chest. To break the curse, someone needed to admit their love for Felix. Had I ever done that? No equivocations, no doubts?
I whispered the words, knowing by now that they were the absolute truth. “I love Felix Truthholder.”
Through the mirror, I heard him bid me goodnight.
It wasn’t a surprise that nothing had happened. I wasn’t at Truthhold. Moreover, the node worked best through the written word. Perhaps it wasn’t too little, but it might still be too late.
I could wait until tomorrow, but wouldn’t it be better to transform Felix before the princess arrived? There was still time. Hours to go before morning. But Rose Castle was miles away. At the very least, I needed a mount.
I ran through the streets of Leort, not caring what people would think. Berklay was still at the Truthhold offices, and he didn’t argue about me taking Felix’s mare. He honored my sense of urgency, though I knew he wanted to demand answers.
I rode out of Leort before twilight gave way to true night, pushing Felix’s mount as much as I dared. I needed the mare to carry me to Rose Castle and back before morning. At first I had thought it would be enough to reach Felix and break the curse before Princess Charmina arrived, but the longer I rode, the more I realized that it would be a mistake to disappear and let her find me at the castle ahead of her. I wanted to allay her suspicions, not add to them.
The distance I had to travel was too far to gallop, or even canter, the entire way. It took hours before I saw the towers, the bits of glass not covered by roses glittering in the moonlight where they rose up from the hill in front of me. I pushed the mare for a last burst of speed.
When we reached castle grounds, I dismounted, pulling the saddle free with a twitch of magic, setting into motion the invisible spells that would care for the mare and see her settled for the night with another. Thank Tsy I had learned those Truths during the days Felix had failed to convince the node to allow me to leave. If the magical care wasn’t enough, I would borrow a different mount for the return journey, though Felix had told me that his gelding wasn’t as easy for a novice to ride.
I listened to the power suffusing the hillside, expecting to sense that Felix was in his rooms, asleep. But the magic informed me that he was in the great hall, steps away from the node. And he wasn’t alone.
I pulled the enchanted mirror out of the satchel hanging from my shoulder and triggered the enchantment. I didn’t need the magic to hear the scream that came from the castle moments later. Dropping the enchantment, I eased the front door open and eased inside. Better to go unnoticed than rush into a potentially dangerous situation.
The doors to the great hall stood open wide, but the two people closest to the foyer didn’t notice my arrival.
I recognized Lady Cecily, standing with her profile toward me, her jaw slack as she stared at Marc. She looked to be on the verge of fainting, but it was the secretary who had hunched over in obvious pain.
The scream hadn’t been Felix, then. Thank the gods.
I spotted the duke, his familiar form outlined by the flickering glow of the node behind him.
I blinked. His head was level with the flames as he sat. He was no longer a house cat, but a panther. A fluffy panther.
Gold-green eyes met mine, and I held up the mirror, reengaging the enchantment. He understood, and I heard a whisper through the magic, though he spoke so softly not even a hint of a sound came from the great hall. “Can you summon Marc and Cecily into a different room and lock them in? I don’t want to leave them in with the node, just in case.”
I nodded at Felix and moved as quietly as I could down the hall to the nearest room. It was the blue salon, so I took a moment to lock the doors to the library before summoning Cecily, followed by Marc. They materialized in the room, and Marc fell to his knees. From this angle, I could see the blood on his shirt.
I summoned a roll of bandages and a jar of salve and shoved them at Cecily. “Tend to his wounds.”
Not waiting to see if she listened, I backed out of the room. Marc attempted to get to his feet, no doubt anticipating what was about to happen, but blood loss or the disorientation from being summoned made him fumble. I slammed the door shut and triggered the wisp of node power that would lock it so that not even a key would get them out.
When I turned around, Felix stood in the hall a few feet away. I didn’t think. I ran over, dropped to my knees, and threw my arms around him. “Are you all right? I saw the blood on Marc.”
Felix rubbed his cheek against mine, his fur soft as silk. “He decided to test my determination not to let anyone close to the node. Luckily, my new claws are more daunting than my old.”
“Not daunting enough, if he still came at you.”
“But it took him hours to summon the courage.” Felix pulled back, looking at me with concern. “What are you doing here? Did the node pull you back?”
“No.” I realized it was true and had a moment to wonder why I hadn’t felt the node tugging at me the instant I had realized that I could possibly break the curse. Then again, I hadn’t needed the node to urge me into action. “I came because I have an idea about how to break the curse. It occurred to me when you read the scroll this evening.”
“I knew you’d have more ideas than me. What is it?”
I hesitated. It was one thing to say the sentence aloud in the privacy of my room. Even admitting my feelings to Sofia hadn’t been so difficult. But could I say it to Felix, when I still didn’t know why he had been so intent on sending me back to Leort? “Let’s see if it works first.”
We walked back to the great hall, Felix a solid presence at my side. He kept so close that I had to rest my hand on his back or risk toppling over. Felix summoned a side table—complete with paper, pen, and ink—without comment. I wrote out four simple words, the same ones that had taken me so long to admit, to say, and signed my name. Then, holding my breath, I held the paper to the flames.
Bells rang out, their harmonious melody declaring the words to be completely true, but nothing else happened. I blinked back an unexpected rush of tears. It wasn’t enough. I couldn’t make Truths. I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand. No. I refused to believe that I had to make a Truth to break the curse. It didn’t make sense. Cecily had already created the Truth; I was simply fulfilling the terms by admitting I had fallen in love with Felix.
But a declaration wasn’t enough. It still had to be tied to the node. I couldn’t make a Truth, but Felix could witness a contract I signed and use the node to make the words magically binding. I considered the consequences of letting him pass my note through the node. This wasn’t a normal contract; it was a statement of feelings. What would it mean to bind myself to the words?
I thought about that clarion of bells I had heard when I held it to the flames. It was already true. The node’s power wouldn’t change anything.
Felix was watching me, not saying anything. I shoved the paper at him, still folded. “Witness this and pass it through the node.”
He dipped his claw in ink and signed his name, not asking what it said or unfolding the paper first. Then he grabbed it with his teeth and planted his front paws on the edge of the copper bowl under the flames. He leaned forward. The paper dissolved, and I heard the magic of the node pour out, converging on Felix.
His eyes went wide, and he froze, his body unnaturally still as the power rushed into him.
His body convulsed, and he fell to the floor. I rushed forward, but I didn’t know if it was safe to touch him. The magic kept coming, an avalanche of power. I wanted to clasp my hands over my ears, but it wouldn’t block anything.
I waited, my heart in my throat, as black fur receded, bones stretched and shrank, and a cat transformed into a man.
A naked man.
I didn’t let myself dwell on this detail, though I couldn’t help but notice. It sent an unexpected surge of warmth through me. I had almost grown used to the way Felix made me feel, but this gave the emotions an edge I wasn’t prepared to dwell on. I knew what it was, but lust had no place in this moment.
Even if Felix was sprawled on the floor in front of me, naked.
I closed the last bit of distance between us and dropped to my knees at his side. “Felix?”
He groaned and slowly blinked his eyes open. They were no longer a gold-green, but a brilliant emerald—a perfect match for the stones he had given me. His hair was still onyx black, just long enough to remind me of his fur. “What happened?”
He lifted a hand, brushing at a lock of hair obscuring his eye, and froze. He stretched his arm out, turning his hand over, flexing his fingers. Then he tried to sit up, but could barely lift himself.
I slid my arm behind his back and helped him, mentally chastising myself as I noticed the feel of his skin beneath my fingertips. It was cool to the touch. He needed to recover from the transformation. And put on something warm.
He was still focused on his hand. His words slurred. “You broke the curse. You really did it.”
With a sudden burst of energy, he twisted beside me, his hands coming up to frame my face. He kissed me.
My thoughts shattered, the pieces scattering in every direction. I’d been kissed before, but had never cared much for it. I hadn’t understood why people wanted to press lips together, let alone more.
I understood now. With the right person, a kiss became so much more. It was a connection. A promise. A truth.
I didn’t need to think, only feel and react. The hand on Felix’s back slid across skin, and he shuddered. He tilted his head, changing the angle, licking at my lips until my own parted. Sensation swirled through me, my mind trying to pin down a foreign experience in terms I knew. Port and autumn leaves falling, the warmth of a fire and the silk of a rose petal.
I moved my hand around to rest over Felix’s heart, the frantic beat a match for my own pulse.
He pulled back, pupils dilated, and toppled backwards. He barely caught himself, then his hands slipped, and he was prone once more.
I leaned over him. “Felix?” My breath came in gasps as I tried to adjust after that kiss. “Are you all right?”
He blinked at me. “Sorry. Shouldn’t have . . .”
“It’s—” Not all right. The truth-telling enchantment wouldn’t let me say the words. I blinked back tears, grateful that in his current state, Felix wouldn’t notice. The kiss that had meant so much to me had been nothing more than a stress-reaction for him. I cleared my throat. “You should probably lay down.”
“I am laying down.” He spoke slowly, forming each word with care. “Though I’m not a fan of resting on a marble floor.”
I reached for him again, helping him sit up. “A bed would be better, I’m certain. I can call one in. I don’t think you should try to move very far.”
He shook his head. “My room.”
“Felix—”
“My. Room. We’re not staying here.”
I ignored his use of “we,” but I couldn’t ignore the stubborn glint in his eyes. He was struggling to sit up, weaker now than before our kiss, but that wouldn’t stop him from crawling up to his room if he had to. I could go ahead and summon him, but given his current state, I couldn’t imagine the disorientation would be wise. Especially if his mild reactions in the past had to do with his smaller form.
“If we can get you upright, then I’ll help you upstairs. Otherwise, I’m calling in a bed here.”
“I can stand,” Felix insisted.
It took considerable effort on both our parts, and Felix trembled with fatigue, but he was standing. I made him lean on the chair closest to us and disentangled myself long enough to call in a dressing gown. Felix mumbled as he slipped it on, but I couldn’t make out the words.
Then he slung an arm over my shoulders and we hobbled out of the great hall. It was an awkward picture we made, but that didn’t stop Felix. He grimly made his way upstairs.
“Was it like this when you transformed into a cat?” I asked.
“I think I was unconscious longer that time.” He stopped, his eyes closing. I waited with him, trying to steady him as his balance grew even worse. Then his eyes opened again. When he spoke, finishing his earlier thought as though there had been no interruption, I wondered if he even realized how long he had paused. “And Berklay was able to carry me to my room.”
We reached his suite. By this point Felix could do little more than shuffle his feet forward, and I was supporting most of his weight. I gratefully let him tilt onto the bed, stepping back.
His hand snapped out with surprising speed. “Where are you going?”
My lips parted. Under other circumstances, I knew the kiss we had shared downstairs might have morphed into something else. Something more. But that wasn’t the same. “You need to rest.”
His grip tightened. “I know. But I don’t want you to leave. Please, Isa.”
“I can’t stay.” Not shouldn’t. Couldn’t. “Princess Charmina is coming to Rose Castle tomorrow. I need to get back to Leort before she realizes I rode out here tonight. It will cause you more problems if I stay. I’ll find a way to bring a few constables along to deal with Marc and Cecily, too.”
“Isa—”
I gently freed my hand, but couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and brush my fingers over his cheeks. “I have to go. I don’t want you to suffer because my actions reinforce the rumors. Tomorrow you have to remember to treat me with polite distance and nothing more.”
Felix blinked, and I knew he was on the verge of falling unconscious once more. I hated to leave him like this, but I had to. He’d wake tomorrow morning, recovered from the transformation and ready to deal with the princess. My presence would only make things worse.