Chapter 1 Whispers and Weight
I never thought I would love the gym.
Yet, here I am—one year in, stronger, more confident, and finally seeing a reflection I don't shy away from.
The girl who once wore oversized sweaters to disappear now wears fitted leggings and tank tops without flinching.
The girl who used to lower her gaze in mirrors now meets her own eyes head-on, silently acknowledging how far she has come.
And it's all because of him.
Ryder.
My coach. My friend. My secret.
It started with simple encouragement—a warm smile after a tough set, the way he always seemed to notice when I needed a push. He was effortless, charming without trying, and I had fallen—hard.
There was a time, early in our friendship, when he caught me struggling with a deadlift.
"You're thinking too much, December. The weight doesn't control you. You control it."
I had rolled my eyes. "Sounds like a terrible motivational poster."
"Maybe," he'd grinned, "but I believe it."
And somehow, I started believing it too—not just about the weights but about myself.
Then one night, I had stayed late at the gym. The world outside was dark and quiet. It had just been the two of us—like it so often was. I had been sitting on one of the benches, catching my breath, when he sat beside me.
"I've been thinking about something."
I turned to him, surprised by the softness in his voice. "Yeah?"
Ryder hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck, then exhaled. "I like you, December. And not just in a 'you're my client' way. In a 'let me take you out' kind of way."
My heart nearly exploded.
"Wait—what?"
He laughed. "is that a good what, a happy what, or what-the-hell What?"
"No," I rushed out, warmth rushing to my cheeks. "it is a ...wow what"
"Really? I thought I couldn't have been more obvious" he teased.
"Well you seemed nice to everyone," I lied.
"There is nice professional and nice flirty, and I was constantly flirting with you but yeah I think I needed to be straightforward. I really like you Dec. Seeing you and talking to you are the highlight of my day."
I had been floating. I wanted to say yes a million times over. And then he added, "But... it has to be a secret. For now." Just like that, the moment cracked.
"A secret?"
"I just started here, Dec. It wouldn't look great if I immediately started dating a client. Give me time. It's temporary, I promise."
I had been disappointed, but when he took my hands, when he looked at me with those steady, unwavering eyes and said, "I just want you, December," I had believed him.
So, I agreed.
And for eight months, he had made me feel like the only woman in the world.
Like every Tuesday, I met my closest friends for brunch at our favorite café. The place smelled of cinnamon and freshly brewed coffee, a cozy warmth against the chill of late autumn outside. May, January, and June were already there, the table cluttered with pastries and half-empty mugs.
"So, Dec," May said, stirring her latte with a knowing smirk. "It's been a year since you started working out, right?"
"Yeah," I nodded, cutting into my avocado toast.
"And you look incredible," June added, eyeing me with approval. "Seriously, you're glowing."
I laughed, tucking a loose strand of auburn hair behind my ear. "I just feel... better. Stronger."
"And more confident," January noted. "You've been dressing differently too. Fitted tops, skirts. You're showing off, girl."
I felt my cheeks warm. "I guess I just finally feel comfortable in my own skin."
"But the real question is," May leaned in conspiratorially, "has someone noticed?"
I nearly choked on my coffee.
June's eyes widened. "Wait. Has someone noticed?"
January narrowed her eyes. "You have that look. You're totally seeing someone, aren't you?"
I forced a casual shrug. "I'm... just focusing on myself right now."
"Uh-huh," May rolled her eyes. "You suck at lying, you know that?"
"Leave her alone," June laughed. "If there's a guy, she'll tell us when she's ready."
I offered her a grateful smile, but guilt gnawed at me. I wished I could tell them—about Ryder, about the stolen moments, about how he made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
But secrets had become part of our love story.
And for now, I had to keep it that way.
By the time I arrived at River Heights Elementary, the cool morning air had faded into a crisp, sunny afternoon. Teaching had always been my passion, but since my confidence had grown, I noticed a change in how I carried myself in the classroom.
My students adored me—especially the way I made lessons fun.
During science class, one of my third graders, Emily, tugged on my sleeve.
"Ms. December, do you have a boyfriend?"
I blinked, startled. "What?"
"Miss Parker does," Emily declared. "I heard her talking about him. And you're really pretty, so you should have one too."
I chuckled, smoothing down Emily's braids. "Well, thank you, sweetheart. But not having a boyfriend doesn't mean someone isn't happy, okay?"
Emily thought about it. "But do you have one?"
I hesitated before laughing. "Alright, back to science. Who can tell me why leaves change color?"
As the class erupted into answers, I shook my head, amusement dancing in my eyes.
If only Emily knew.
After a long day at work, I let out a breath as I unlocked my apartment door, expecting the usual quiet. But the moment I stepped inside, the scent of garlic and rosemary filled the air.
My heart skipped.
There he was—Ryder—standing at my stove, his broad back to me, stirring something in a pan. A soft candle flickered on the dining table, next to two plates already set out.
He turned, smiling that easy, breathtaking smile.
"Happy eight months, December."
I melted.
He walked toward me, kissed me softly, and just like that, all my nerves disappeared.
And maybe it was the warmth in the room, the candlelight flickering on the table, or just the simple fact that I knew this was love—real, undeniable love—but I looked at him and said it.
"I love you."
He stilled.
For a heartbeat, I thought maybe he hadn't heard me. Then, slowly, he smiled.
And kissed my forehead.
"You're adorable."
My stomach dropped.
My breath caught in my throat.
That was not what I had expected.
Not I love you too. Not even a kiss. Just... adorable.
My heart pounded as he turned back to the stove, humming like nothing had happened, while I stood there—shocked, hurt, and so confused.
Because for the first time in eight months, I wasn't sure if he really meant it when he said he wanted me.
And for the first time in months, I had a terrible feeling this wasn't going to end well.