11. Scar
CHAPTER 11
SCAR
Watching Evelyn walk into Ford and Luna's house was like having my heart ripped out. I bared my soul, and it wasn't enough. When I said that I'd wait forever for her, I meant it. Because when she comes back, I don't want there to be any doubt.None whatsoever.
That means I have to wrap up all the loose ends. While Evelyn was packing her bag, I texted Thunder, Six, Bear, Viper, and Lightning. Since they started this, they are going to help me fix it. Once I have the strength to leave Ford's driveway, I head right to the train station where the guys are meeting me.
Thankfully, when I get there, all five of them are there already.
“I don't know which of the girls said something to her, and I don't care, but since she found out that you guys set this whole thing up with her, she doesn't seem to believe I want her or that I care. She is now at Ford and Luna's making plans to leave me!” I yell because the whole situation and the lack of control are getting to me.
These guys are some of my best friends and they sit there and let me get it all out before I collapse in one of the chairs.
“Emerson told me what happened. She said Evelyn was more hurt than mad," Bear says in his calm, steady voice.
That sends a stab right to my heart. I can handle her being mad at me. That’s easy to fix. But hurting her isn't something that is as easy to mend.
“You guys are going to help fix this.” I point a finger at Viper in particular because I know he was the mastermind behind this.
“Can I ask you a question?” Viper asks.
I don't say anything, just stare at him.
“Why didn't you tell her?” he asks.
Ahh, the same question I've been asking myself from the moment she told me what happened.
“I didn't want to hurt her, and it was easier like this.” I cross my arms over my chest.
“But it would have avoided this situation,” Lightning says.
Even though I know he's right, I want to wring his neck.
“I get that. I made a choice, and it backfired. Now I'm asking for help to fix what you guys started,” I say.
They all look at each other before they look back at me.
“What do you need from us?” Six asks.
“I have a plan. Just don't let her leave town. She was thinking of going to Bozeman and I don't want her to talk Ford and Luna into taking her there tonight,” I say.
“We can do that. And Scar? We will make this right,” Six promises.
“I sure as fuck hope so because if she goes to Bozeman, I'm going with her,” I say and they all know that means leaving them, and leaving the club.
Evelyn
I hate crying, but I just can't seem to stop. Luna has been letting me sob on her shoulder and hasn't said a word. Twice now I thought I had myself together, but then the tears started again. When the doorbell rings, my tears instantly dry up. I reach for a tissue, blow my nose and dry my face before Ford answers the door.
There is some whispering at the door before Ford steps back. Thunder, Six, Bear, Viper, and Lightning enter.
“What are they doing here?” I say more to Luna than anything.
“Scar told us what happened and how upset you are. This is our fault. The whole thing was our idea, and we need to apologize to you,” Viper says.
“What?” I ask, letting their words sink in.
“Scar is a great guy. Always there to help us and never complains. He sat there and watched each of us fall in love, and when he got drunk last month and started talking about how he's never going to find what we have and how much we wanted it, I knew it was time to do something. To the guys, I drunkenly mentioned the website because I'd heard about it before,” Viper says.
“We went along with it,” Lightning says.
“Not me,” Thunder grumbles.
“Thunder was the voice of reason. When he found out, he made us tell Scar. But by the time he found out, you were already on your way here,” Lightning says.
“He took one look at your picture, and it was like he was punched in the gut. Which is how I felt when I saw Emerson for the first time,” Bear says.
“What was your plan when I got here if you hadn't told him?” I ask.
They glance at each other, and guilty looks cross all their faces.
“We were hoping you guys would hit it off. Then we could tell you what we did, and you'd laugh it off. Worst case, we'd be here like this trying to convince you to give him a chance,” Six says.
“It’s not easy to just shrug off something when you are playing with people’s emotions,” Luna chimes in. “She had made plans and was uprooting her entire life. What if Scar had said no and sent her away?”
“The club would have taken care of her, and you know that,” Thunder says.
“I don't want to be anyone's charity case,” I interject.
“Well, it's a good thing you don't have to be. Scar wants you, and the fact that you are hurting is killing him. Yes, he should have told you, and honestly, we thought he had. But he was scared of losing you, just as he is now. And desperate men do desperate and stupid things,” Bear says.
Hearing Bear’s explanation, I'm pretty sure that is the most I've heard him talk since I've been in Mustang Mountain.It has to be a record.
“Listen, we are so sorry for the role we played in this. All we ask is that you don't make any rash decisions. Stay here a few days and let everything settle. My grandma used to say things always look better after a good night’s sleep,” Lightning says.
“Look, we want both you and Scar to be happy, and he has truly fallen in love with you. We have seen it with our own eyes, so I'm not above begging you to stay and give him a chance,” Viper says, and all the guys nod at his words.
They all look so genuine and contrite. It’s obvious to me that they truly care for their friend, and I can't fault them for that.
“I promise to not make any rash decisions and to stick around for a few days before doing anything,” I say.
What I don't tell them is that was the plan anyway. But when I say it, they all look relieved.
“One more thing. Scar asked us to give this to you.” Thunder holds out an envelope with my name scrawled across the front.
My hands shake as I reach out to take it from him.
They say goodnight to Ford and Luna before leaving, while I sit there and look at the envelope in my hand.
“Daddy?” a sleepy voice asks as the door closes.
“Sorry to wake you, Izzy,” Ford says as he picks her up and sits in the chair beside the couch.
The shy smile tells me she heard more than she is letting on.
“Who was here?” she asks.
“Just some of the guys. They came to talk to Evelyn,” Ford says.
"About Scar?” Izzy says.
“Were you eavesdropping again?” Luna asks as she reaches over and tickles Izzy.
Izzy sighs and sits up, looking right at me.
“Listen it's simple. Do you love Scar?” Izzy asks.
Luna's mouth drops open and Ford is trying not to laugh. But I don't even have to think about my answer.
“Yes,” I say, not sure why I'm telling an almost eight-year-old.
“See, then I don't know what the problem is. He loves you, and you love him. This can be fixed with a simple conversation,” Izzy says.
“It's not always that easy,” Ford says, and Izzy looks at him.
“Why not?” Izzy asks.
“How about I explain it to you as I put you back to bed?” Luna says, picking Izzy up.
After a round of good nights, it's just me and Ford in the living room.
“Why don't you go to your room and read that letter? Luna and I will be up a while longer if you need to talk,” he says.
I nod with a huge knot in my throat as I stand and head to the guest room.
A million things run through my head. What if he is saying goodbye? What if he doesn't want to deal with all this? When I said I needed space was it too much and he's decided to end it all? And if he can't even do it to my face, did he decide to do it in this letter?
A small part of me wonders if the letter is a good thing, but the bigger part of me is scared to open it. So, I put it on the dresser, sit on the bed and stare at it. If I want to make a full and informed decision in the upcoming days, I know I’m going to have to read it. Good or bad, I have to know what is in that letter.
So, I grab the letter, get comfortable on the bed, and open it.
Evelyn,
I messed up. I know I should have told you from the start about what led to you coming out to Mustang Mountain. For the pain that has caused you, I am so sorry. But I can't be sorry that it brought you to me.
You are the light in my life I didn't know I needed. You are the other half of my soul, and I can't let you go without giving it my all.
While I know you need time to think, I'm terrified that the longer you are away from me, the higher the chance is you will walk away and not look back. That would devastate me.
I miss holding you in my arms, hearing your giggle fill the house, having you sleep next to me, and it's only been a few hours.
Life together isn’t always going to be easy, but I swear I’ll give it my all and never make you regret the choice of giving me a second chance should you decide to.
If you still plan to move to Bozeman, then just know I will follow you and spend the rest of my days trying to make it up to you in hopes you will come back to me. I'll never give up on us.
My heart is yours. And I am yours.
Scar
By the time I'm done reading the letter, tears are streaming down my face. I place the letter on my nightstand and turn off the light and cry into my pillow. Then I spend the next few hours tossing and turning, not able to sleep. All I can think about is Scar and his letter.
I think about what life would be like if I stayed with him and what it would be like to feel as loved as I have last week. If I was able to feel that way for the rest of my life, it’s an answered prayer. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Then I think about what my life would be like if I go to Bozeman without him. All I can picture is this dark cloud above me the entire time. The thought of getting back on the mail-order website and trying to be with someone else makes me want to puke.
When I look at the clock once again, it's almost three in the morning. My mind has never been so made up, and I know I won't be able to sleep because so much is still unsettled. So, I pick up my phone that Scar bought me and call Scar.
“Evelyn? Is everything okay?” His voice doesn't sound sleepy, so my guess is he’s been having a hard time sleeping like me. All I want to do is wrap my arms around him and calm him, so his mind stops racing.
“Can we talk?” I ask.
“Of course. I'm always here.”
“Can you come over here? I really want to see you,” I say.
“I'm on my way, sweetheart.”
We don't even bother with goodbyes.
While I’m waiting, I put on a sweatshirt, brush my hair and teeth, and grab the blanket from my bed. Then I put on my boots and jacket, and go to the living room to await his arrival.
His headlights fill the living room much sooner than I expected. Wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, I walk out to the front porch.
Ford and Luna have a huge porch swing off to the side, so I sit down and wait for Scar to join me. When he steps on the porch, he hesitates when he sees me.
“Join me?” I ask.
When he sits on the swing, my heart leaps and nothing has ever felt so right. There’s enough space between us for another person, but I can't blame him because he has no idea which way this is going to go.
“I got your letter. It made me cry,” I tell him, not knowing where to start.
“I hate I wasn’t here to hold you,” he says quietly.
“Thank you for giving me the space I asked for, even if I hated every minute apart from you.”
His eyes snap to mine. I can see the hope in them.
So, I scoot across the swing to his side and tug the blanket over us. He pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me. For the first time tonight, my brain finally calms down. I’m at home right in his arms.
“I want to stay,” I whisper.
“I want you to stay,” Scar says.
Neither of us moves.
We just soak up the warmth in each other’s arms and enjoy the feeling of our bodies close together.
“I am so sorry I didn't tell you,” he says.
“I know. In a way, I'm glad you didn’t because I don't know how I would have reacted. It was still a shock to find out the way I did.”
At my words, he holds me tighter, like he's afraid I'm going to jump up and leave him.
He runs a hand through my hair, cupping the back of my head before moving me so he can look into my eyes.
“I love you, Evelyn. With everything I have.”
In the depth of my heart, I know I’m making the right choice. “I love you, too,” I tell him, my voice breaking as tears run down my cheeks yet again.
His lips crash onto mine. The passion and desperate need behind the kiss have me turning in his lap to straddle him. I'm a second from letting him take me right here on the porch in front of the entire neighborhood. Finally, he pulls away.
“Come home with me, please,” he begs.
I nod because I don't want to be away from him for a moment more.
“Let me grab my stuff and leave a note for Ford and Luna,” I say.
“Do it.” He gives me a much too quick second kiss before helping me stand.
Thankful I never unpacked my bag, I place the blanket back on my bed and grab my stuff. I take it out to Scar who is waiting on the porch.
“I just need to leave them a note,” I say.
“I'll take this to the truck,” he nods.
Back inside, I look in the kitchen and living room for a notepad, but can't find anything. I do see the whiteboard on the wall where a few reminders are written that look like they have been there since this summer. I grab the dry-erase marker and leave a note.
Talked with Scar. Worked it out. Heading home. Thank you for everything. - Evelyn.
Hopefully, they see it, but I will call tomorrow to say thank you again and make sure.
Then I walk out to the truck to my future and to the one person I really want to be with.