Chapter 27
27
TOMASZ
T he room falls quiet as we walk in. Niko looks between Red and me, standing from his place at the dinner table to give Lucy his chair beside mine.
“I’ll be fine over there,” she laughs lightly, brushing her long hair over one shoulder as she heads for the free chair beside Vanya.
Before sitting down, she greets Mama. The two of them have become almost inseparable since we’ve returned to the palace. I have to say that she makes even the gloomy Rasputin paintings look pretty in the background.
Despite all the craziness of the last week, she seems happy. Maybe a little nervous given we’re a few weeks away from entertaining the father of the man that kidnapped her and beat her black and blue. But she seems eager to face Mikheil Sarapov. As I am too, to put the last couple of months to bed. More accurately, a grave.
Of course, there’s also the fact that I’m waiting for her to freak out about the appointment at the clinic earlier today.
“Man, you moved quick,” Niko says when we’re both sitting down. “Married and expecting in less than a month…”
“News travels fast.” Glancing over at Mama, I give her a pointed look. “No wonder you insisted on eating dinner with us all tonight.”
“It’s wonderful news…” She reaches forward, stretching to pinch Lucy’s chin between her fingers. “I’ll take it as an early Christmas present… Summer can’t come soon enough, and then I really will have everything. Maybe a boy first, Petrushka,” Mama sighs the endearment with a gentle stroke of her fingertips over my wife’s face. “A grandson and heir.”
“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.” Lucy smiles, but worry presses her lips into a terse line as she looks at me and repeats the same thing she told me at the doctor’s. “With everything that’s happened, we should take it one day at a time.”
It takes all of my control to hold in the anger that burns through me. Guilt fists my heart as I focus on the way she flattens her hand to her stomach. I could’ve lost her and our child, and it would have been my fault. As it is, the only thing I can do is make amends. Before we go to bed tomorrow night, I’ll serve her Mikheil’s head on a fucking platter.
“I’m sure it’s going to be fine, but we have another seven months until we can hold our child.”
“It’s not that long,” Emin laughs.
He’s been quiet so far, listening to what’s going on as usual.
“All the more reason to end this shit with the Sarapovs once and for all.” Taking the jug of sweet tea in the middle of the table, I pour a glass and hand it to Niko so that he can pass it across to Lucy. When I’ve poured myself a glass of the Barolo red, I sit back into my seat, glancing at my father. “Or are we supposed to turn the other cheek, still?”
Niko stiffens beside me as Father stands abruptly from the table. His anger is simmering nicely beneath the surface. It’ll boil over soon enough and expose the fact that he is the weaker of the two of us. It’s why he’s thinking about making deals with the competition we should wipe out.
“It appears congratulations are due to you both,” he says, lifting his drink to toast the news. If Red didn’t make Mama so happy, I’m certain that he wouldn’t be celebrating the pregnancy. “To health, wealth, and family.”
“An enormous family,” Mama corrects as she raises her drink.
The constant tightness in my chest eases at the burst of life from her. Colour flushes her face, and light sparkles in her eyes. It’s a happiness I haven’t seen in a very long time. I’m so wrapped up in her sudden brightness that I almost miss the exchange between Lucy and Vanya.
“Excuse me?” Lucy’s affronted tone causes me to bristle.
“You can’t be…” Vanya mutters, staring down at her water. “It’s impossible…”
“Why?” Lucy scoffs at the same time as I tell Vanya, “Sit the fuck down, and shut the fuck up.”
“Tomasz,” Niko warns, even though we both know that it’s pointless.
“Why pray so hard for me when you clearly hate me so much?” Red is getting irate now, and my only instinct is to go to her. Before I can think better of it, I’m standing behind her. My hand flattens to the small of her back as she continues facing my sister, waiting for the answer to her question.
“He hurt you.”
“Vanya, come now…sit,” Mama orders, but clearly her princess has another thing she’s passionate about.
“Why would you want this? Him ?”
“Because I love him,” Lucy replies, silencing my remark before it makes it past my lips.
Vanya laughs dryly, shaking her head at the ground as she mutters something about sins and whatever other shit goes through her head. Nothing out of the ordinary, but it causes Lucy to stiffen. Stepping forward, she grasps my sister’s jaw, lifting her face so that we can both see it.
“It was you,” she states.
The statement rings in the quiet that befalls the room. It’s rare that I feel lost in a conversation, if ever, but right now I have no fucking clue what’s going on between them. I only know that it has my wife on edge, and I don’t like it. No one gets to make her feel this way.
“The maid had no reason to give me that pill.”
For the first time in longer than I can recall, I intervene on Vanya’s behalf. “She betrayed yo?—”
“Shut up!” Red snaps back at me, pulling away as she tugs Vanya closer to her. She’ll pay for it later. Pregnant or not, I’ll punish her for her insolence and disrespect. “It doesn’t matter what she did. Elif had no reason to fix anything… I’ve thought about this over and over and… She had no reason to give me that pi?—”
“I was trying to help you!” Vanya explodes, pushing Lucy into the table.
Narrowly, I catch her in the crook of my arm when I lunge for her. The momentum of her body makes me stumble as I pull her into me, holding her to my chest tightly until she’s steady on her feet and I can make sure that she’s not hurt.
If I could lock her up, I would. Today has been a shitshow of worry over her and the baby. There’s a great chance that by the time our child is born, I’ll have gone insane. An even more significant chance that many people will have lost their lives because when it comes to her and our child, my control is non-existent.
“I’m sorry,” Red breathes up at me, her arms tightening around my waist while her hands slip into the top of my slacks.
“Too late for sorry, pet.” My inaudible reply has her shrinking into me, something she does when she’s seeking my reassurance. At this moment, it’s something I can’t give her. I’m mad, barely hanging on to my wits. The only thing I can do is hold her tighter. I’m not a merciful man, but she has a way of softening my rage.
“You’re all celebrating, but that baby is a sin.” The words barely litter the air before I silence her poison with my hand. Covering her mouth, I squeeze her cheeks together until she’s screaming. The muffled noise echoes around us, muted but shrill.
“Hey!” Niko jumps to her rescue too soon.
“Sit the fuck down, Nikolai, or I will snap her neck right here, right now.” He’s dithering on what to do, nervously glancing between my father and me. “You too,” I hold Father’s stare until he pulls back.
All the composure I’ve been holding on to is gone. White-hot rage pounds in my veins, percussion to the panicked heat of Vanya’s breath in my hand.
“Luchik…” Mama utters behind me at the same time as Red cups my face, pushing onto her tiptoes to steal my stare.
“Tomasz…”
With her other hand trailing the length of my arm, she pries my hand open enough to release Vanya.
“I don’t want your help or your pity,” Lucy says plainly.
Standing between me and the spoilt bitch, she strokes over the marks I left on Vanya’s face, as though she’s swiping away what just happened. It’ll take a lot more than that to erase this. Not even God himself can save her.
“Keep your fucking righteousness, and stay out of my way. This is the first and last time I turn a blind eye. Thank your mother for that, because once she’s gone, you’ll have no one to protect you. No one to stand between you and me…and I won’t just squeeze your pretty cheeks…”
Shaking me off, Lucy takes a step forward. Delicate hands fist around gold hair, pulling so hard that it’s a wonder how the force doesn’t snap Vanya’s neck. She’s a fucking goddess, and if I wasn’t fuming with her too, I would fuck her in front of the entire world.
“Come at me again and I’ll turn you inside out. You think he’s bad now…”
With a scoff, she walks out of the room without a backward glance. The only evidence of her emotions is the trembling hands balled tightly at her sides as I follow.
“One of you,” I level Father and Niko with a scowl, “put her in her place, or so help me God…”
Red is halfway up the stairs when I leave the dining room. The hallway is bright, making it impossible not to pause and watch her. Bone straight, her hair reaches down to her ass. She’s never looked so small and fragile, not even when she was battered and bruised. Even with her fire and strength, she’s more vulnerable now than ever before. We’re more vulnerable now that we have something aside from the two of us to protect.
I stalk after her in silence. Leaving the bedroom door open for me, she meanders straight for the balcony doors, looking out at the lake.
“Before you bark at me,” she says, finding my stare in the glass, “you can’t protect me or our child if they hate you, but you can protect me from their hate.”
“And who will protect you from me?” I ask, prisoning her between my arms as I brace onto the glass from behind her.
“You’re a man of your word, husband… Master…” Big, beguiling eyes flutter closed as her head lolls back onto my shoulder, and she whispers up at me, “You vowed to protect me…”
“And that leaves you at my mercy. It makes you my pet, and?—”
“Yes,” she cuts me off brusquely, spinning slowly to face me. “In these walls, I am your pet and slave and all those things you need. I am beholden to your grace, and I will indulge every want and whim. You say jump and I say how high…”
“Good. We understand each other, then.”
With a shake of her head, Red strokes the back of her fingers across my cheeks. Angry, frustrated tears bulge in her eyes, tinging them pink.
“Not yet. I’ll submit to you in here…but out there…” There’s a moment of pause where she tightens her hold on me, causing my chest to squeeze in response to the contact. Irresistible lips pinch into a pout as her body inches flush to mine. “I’ll honour, hell, I’ll even obey, but you cannot make me cower. Please… please ,” she begs with a tear rolling down one side of her face, heavy and brutal, more so than any violent act I’ve ever witnessed. That one drop of her pain and desperation cuts right through me. “Don’t make me weak. If you meant your vows, don’t make me weak.”
Heavy breaths punch the buzzing silence as I walk her back into the glass until she is sandwiched between my hard body and the door. “Nothing could ever make you weak.”
“That’s not true.”
“You’re a fucking goddess.”
“ Please. ”
With her wet stare boring into mine, it’s impossible not to give her what she needs. Every cell of my being aches to do it. To make her feel as precious as she is. My girl is a diamond. Delicate to look at. Brilliant to hold. And it will take the weight of a million years, an entire universe, to break her. If she can’t see that, it’s up to me to ensure she knows it.
“In here you are my pet.”
“I’ll get on my hands and knees and kiss your feet.”
Thumbing the tears hanging on her long lashes, I trail a hand down her stunning face, drying the tracks of her pain. I’ve always been a man of my word. What I say, I do. And protecting her isn’t enough. It wasn’t enough when I said my vows, so I swore to care for her too. I promised to worship and adore her, and if she feels weak, then I’ve failed on all accounts. That’ll never happen. Not with her.
Tracing my palm to her chest, I hold it over her pounding heart. “In here too,” I add. “In here you are my slave. It beats for me. Only me.”
Cupping her hand over mine, Lucy nods with shaky breaths. “Yes, master.”
“Out there…”
“Outside that door, I’m your equal.”
“You’re my queen.”
“I want to be feared like you are.” The statement is punctuated by a deep inhale that hollows her cheeks. After a beat, she blows out the breath and adds, “I want them to hear me coming and to bow their heads.”
“They already fear you.”
“Because of you. I want them to fear me.”
“Red…”
“If I’m weak, then you are weak too. But if they fear me, then we are protected from all angles. We are stronger. We can be more…do more… We can be more than this. I know what it takes to make legacies…it’s in my blood.”
“Cunning,” I chuckle over her lips.
“Like my grandmother always taught me, you always pick what strengthens you…what gives you power.”
“Is that the real reason you chose to stay with me?”
“Not all of it. Mostly, it was this,” she murmurs into my mouth, nudging her bottom lip over mine as her hand presses mine harder to her chest. “Keep it beating and it will always choose you.”
With my lick into her mouth, her heart picks up its pace, hammering into my hand as I drink down her breathy groans. And there’s no way I can stop here because with every beat I want the next. Another and just one more… even if it’s never enough.