Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
RORY
Lukas fidgeted as we got ready for bed, and I caught him glaring at me when I emerged from the bathroom in one of Skeeter’s shirts. I slept better in them, so he’d have to get over it.
Jensen’s bedroom was next to this one, and I almost felt bad for not sleeping in there with him after what we’d done by the pool.
I didn’t owe him anything, and I was surprised that he was the one enforcing that.
“You want to talk about it?” I asked as Lukas stripped down to his boxers a little more aggressively than needed, his eyes flashing up to mine.
“About what?”
“Whatever’s got you so annoyed. If it’s about Jensen—”
“Jesus, let this shit go,” he spat, getting tangled in his shirt and letting out a growl.
“Stop,” I said gently, approaching him and pulling it over his head, hesitating before stepping against him and sliding my arms around his waist. He froze, needing a minute to register what I was doing, but then his arms went around me and held me tightly against him, his bare chest warm against my cheek.
“I don’t know what I’m feeling,” he admitted, tightening his hold on me when I went to move back.
“He’s my best friend. Things are getting weird and I don’t like it.
” It was obvious he didn’t want me to look at him while we talked, so I stood there with my face in his chest, just letting him vent.
“I’ve never been attracted to him before, but lately, it’s like things are different.
The only thing I hated about kissing him was the fact that I liked it. What’s wrong with me?”
I drew circles on his lower back with my fingers, hoping it soothed him.
“Nothing’s wrong with you. We can’t help who we fall for.”
“But it’s Jensen.”
“So? I haven’t known him as long as you, but I fell hard for him, so I know how easy it is.”
“I’m not gay,” he said quietly, silent questions in his tone that made me look up at him.
“No, you’re not. We talked about this. You can like whoever you want.”
“I don’t remember when I got laid last. What if I did turn gay?” he asked almost in a panic, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Luke, you don’t just turn gay. You and Jense have years of friendship between you, so I think you need to sit down with him and talk about your feelings without exploding at him.
He wants to talk about it. Go kiss some girls if you’re that worried.
I guarantee you get turned on and can prove to yourself that you’re not gay.
For the record though? There’s nothing wrong with being gay.
Love who you want and just be yourself. The people that matter won’t even bat an eye about it.
If anyone has a problem with you, I’ll stab them,” I offered, making him wince.
“Don’t make jokes about that.”
“Who’s joking? We might not be close like we used to be, but I still want to see you happy.
You’ve spent so much of your life being miserable, so take back your happiness and fuck everyone who gets in your way,” I said firmly, taking his hand and tugging him towards the bed.
“C’mon, you need some sleep or you’ll drive yourself crazy. ”
He followed without argument, switching the lights off on the way, and I snuggled into him before he could worry about where we stood. I was enjoying the familiar feeling of him surrounding me just as much as he probably was.
A lot had happened, but Lukas’ comfort had always been a default setting in my system. Staying away from him was becoming difficult.
“Sometimes, I wish I’d just called Max’s bluff and barged in to save you that day,” he murmured after a few minutes of silence. “I saved my mom, but at what cost?”
“Of course you saved her, you were a kid,” I replied, pressing a kiss to his chest. “You can’t change the past, so don’t let it drown you.”
“Can I tell you something without making you mad?” He swallowed nervously as I peered up at him, waiting for him to continue.
“I tried to kill myself that week. I’ve never felt so helpless or lost before, and I snapped.
I couldn’t protect you, Mom was being a tyrant, and I just needed my brain to stop so I could have some peace.
Mom came home from brunch early and found me in my bedroom bleeding out, and all she could talk about when I got home from the hospital was how I’d ruined the carpet and embarrassed her.
One of her fancy friends is married to the doctor that saved my life, so her inner circle knew what I’d done. ”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I choked out, hating the thought of not being there.
“You’d just been raped and you hated me.
I didn’t have the right to ask you for help,” he scoffed.
“I’ve had other attempts since then, but it got easier to work through my bullshit once I had the guys.
They know I struggle with it, and it’s why I basically live here.
Things don’t feel so bad when I’m close to Jense. ”
“Why would you do that though? The shit my father did wasn’t your fault,” I said in disbelief, my mind reeling at how distant he became. I knew he’d felt guilty, which was why he stayed away, but suicide?
“Because you were everything to me, Rory. My safe place, the reason I got out of bed in the morning with a smile on my face, and why I wasn’t so lost in the dark.
I didn’t understand the feelings when I was a kid, and when I did figure them out, it was around the time that everything went to shit. Without you, I had nothing.”
“I loved you, I still do, and part of me is so angry at myself for not being able to turn it off after you hurt me,” I murmured, reaching a hand up to cup his cheek, my thumb brushing his lip ring.
“Even if we’re fighting, you can always come to me and tell me you’re struggling.
My love for you will always overrule my anger. ”
“Say it again.”
“Say what?” I asked with a frown, my stomach twisting when I realized what he wanted. “Luke—”
“I need you to say it. It’s not a promise to be with me, I know that, and I also know you’re sleeping with Skeeter and have something going on with my friends. I just need to hear you say it,” he whispered, his fingers flexing on my waist.
“I love you,” I said so quietly that I was surprised he even heard it, but he groaned and cupped the back of my neck to bring my forehead to his, his voice low.
“I love you too.”
“If you love me, then don’t fucking leave me behind,” I forced out, my voice tight with emotion. That wasn’t fair to ask, but I needed him to stay.
His answer was his lips on mine, gentle at first as he tested my reaction, then his fingers threaded through my hair as he deepened the kiss and pulled me closer. My mouth opened for him as my hands wandered his chest, hooking my leg over his waist as he teased my tongue with his.
My heart was slamming against my chest as one of his hands slipped under my baggy shirt and slid up my side, his dick pressing against my core as I rubbed against him. A grunt left him as I slid my hand low on his abs and toyed with the elastic on his boxers, desperation in his voice as he spoke.
“Touch me.”
My hand slid below the fabric and his kiss turned almost feral the second I wrapped my fingers around his length. Surprise filled me when I teased the head and found a piercing, not expecting it at all.
“When did you get this?” I murmured against his lips, smearing the precum over the tip, an amused huff of laughter leaving him.
“Jense and I went and got them done together when I was having a bad week. He thought the pain might help center me or something and agreed to get his done too. If you keep doing that, you’re going to get a handful of cum.”
“You already need to come?”
“I’ve been wanting you to touch me like this for my entire damn life.
Yes, I’m struggling not to make an idiot out of myself right now,” he groaned, thrusting into my hand.
“I know Jense already got you off earlier, but please let me touch you. All I could think about when I was watching you two was that I should’ve joined in. ”
“Hang on.” I released him, much to his frustration, but his eyes went wide when I slid my panties down my legs. When I pulled the shirt over my head, he growled.
“Please tell me you’re letting me touch you. If not, this is torture.”
“Take your boxers off,” I ordered, watching him scramble to do as he was told, then I wrapped my hand around his dick to continue stroking him. His lips found mine again as his hand slid between my legs, and he shuddered as he felt how wet I was.
We toyed with each other until my legs started to shake, and a squeal left me as he suddenly flung the blanket off us both and yanked my legs open more to make room for himself as he knelt between them.
He didn’t say anything as he started eating my pussy, my hips raising off the mattress as he pushed a finger inside me.
“Oh, fuck. Luke—” I was going to come so fucking hard.
His tongue rubbed my clit as he pushed a second finger inside, finding the right rhythm that almost made me jump off the damn bed, and then he curled his fingers and sucked firmly.
I screamed, his tongue only working faster when I begged him to stop, and I didn’t give him a moment to breathe when he finally crawled up my body before I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss to taste myself.
I wrapped my legs around him to encourage him to keep going, and it took him a second to realize what I was asking.
This wasn’t what I’d intended when I’d come to bed with him, but my body was craving his touch, a small part of me needing it to repair the broken pieces inside of me.
Lukas should’ve been my first, he probably would’ve been if Tristan hadn’t fucked it all up, so as much as Lukas had been the one begging to touch me, I was the one that needed this.
“You sure?” he asked, leaning back to look at me properly. I nodded and he consumed me with another kiss, reaching between us to line himself up with my entrance, and I swore we both let out a groan of relief as he pushed inside.