Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
LUKAS
Ipaced in my room as I waited for Rory to arrive, my breaths loud and sharp as I tried not to hyperventilate. Blood dripped down my arm and onto the carpet, but I ignored it, too focused on not letting myself jump out the damn window.
Mom was right, I was a fucking disgrace.
What the hell had I been thinking by kissing Jensen? I just needed to fuck Rory a few more times and those fucked up ideas of Jensen would be out of my head.
I’d just been lonely, right?
“Luke?” My eyes flashed up to the door to find Rory standing there, her eyes wide as she noticed the blood that I’d dripped everywhere. “Jesus, baby. Come on, let’s clean you up.”
“I didn’t mean to. Fuck, I—”
“It’s okay. Let me look,” she said softly, walking towards me and taking my bloodied arm in her hand to inspect the damage I’d done to my inner forearm. “It doesn’t look too deep. Can I wash it and get a better look?”
I nodded, my throat tight as she led me into my bathroom. Having her here felt strange, she hadn’t been in this room for almost five years. It had been so long, and part of me calmed at knowing she was here.
She wouldn’t let me jump out of the window, I was fine now.
My arm stung as she let the cold water wash over it, but I didn’t flinch, savoring the burn.
“You need stitches, this part’s deep, but you missed the vein, luckily,” she said with relief, and I jerked back, getting water and droplets of blood on both of us.
“I’m not going to the hospital. Mom—”
“I could see if Skeet’s guy can?” she offered without hesitation, the thought making me feel sick. I didn’t want them questioning me.
“I can’t,” I choked out, tears burning my eyes as panic filled me. “They can’t know.”
“I’ve got you,” she promised, not giving a fuck about the blood as she hugged me tightly, giving me something to hold onto for five seconds so I could get my shit together.
I didn’t want the Psychos knowing anything about me, but maybe I could pay Skeeter to keep his mouth shut if I let him do it?
“Can Skeet do it and keep his mouth shut?” I asked as I stepped back, making her nod.
“I’ll make sure he keeps it to himself. He seemed worried about you when I left.”
That was almost laughable.
“Okay. Tell him to come over then,” I said before I could change my mind, going back to pacing as she eyed me warily. I probably looked crazy. Hell, I was fucking crazy.
I fisted my hair and Rory gently pulled my hand away as she called Skeeter, nausea swimming through me at the thought of him witnessing this. I was weak, and he was the complete opposite.
Rory grabbed a towel and pressed it against my arm, motioning for me to keep it there.
“I need you. Can you come alone?” Rory asked the second Skeeter must have answered, only pausing for a moment before she sighed. “No. Bring a medical kit if you can. Discreetly.”
I slid down the wall to my ass, shame and embarrassment filling me more at knowing he was coming. He’d never let me live this down. He’d always thought I was a little bitch, and I was starting to think he was right.
Rory sat beside me once she’d finished the call, and I let her take my hand as she gave it a squeeze.
“You want to tell me what happened?”
A shaky breath left me, and I stared at the wall across the room, speaking around the lump in my throat. “I can’t keep doing this. It gets worse every time. I don’t know how to fix myself.”
“You don’t need to fix yourself, there’s nothing wrong with you,” she scolded gently, kissing my shoulder. “Is this about your mom?”
“Mom’s right. I’m fucked up. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking with Jense, but—”
“I don’t care if this offends you, but your mom’s a fucking bitch.
She’s the one fucking with your head. You and Jense were exploring mutual feelings and that’s all there is to it.
There’s nothing wrong with those feelings, you just think there is because she’s told you so.
Her word isn’t law, Luke. You can still get married and have a family with a guy, and you can kiss whoever you want,” she said tensely.
“No, I can’t,” I snapped, a snort leaving her.
“What happens if you do? Your mom disowns you? Sounds like a reason to kiss boys if you ask me. I know you love her, but just because she’s your parent, doesn’t mean you owe her shit.
You hate Max because of what he did to me, right?
I hate your mom because of how she treats you.
You’re not a pawn or a way to climb the social ladder.
You don’t have to marry some rich bitch and have a fancy job.
You can kiss guys, live in a cardboard box, and flip burgers for a living like me. It’ll be fun, trust me.”
“You’re going further in life than flipping burgers and living in a cardboard box,” I murmured, a soft smile tugging at her lips.
“Only if you’re with me. If you’re not there, then I don’t want it.”
We were quiet for a while until I heard Caden’s car outside, and I must have jerked because Rory patted my arm as she stood. “It’s Skeet. He’s got Caden’s car today. I’ll go and let him in.”
I didn’t care to ask why he had Caden’s car, I just nodded, watching her leave the room before blowing out a breath and pulling the towel back to glance down at my arm. I was still bleeding, but it had slowed a lot, the angry red slices glaring back at me.
This was a dumb idea, I should’ve just jumped out the fucking window. I still had time, but then Rory would see my mangled body in the driveway.
I’d caused her enough pain, so I couldn’t do that to her.
Quiet voices reached me from the hallway, and I braced as Skeeter appeared in the doorway. He studied me for a second before holding my gaze, his eyes emotionless.
“So, you want to fucking die?”
“Skeet!” Rory snapped, but he ignored her, stepping into the room and placing a small medical bag on the sink before pulling his gun out and aiming it at me.
“Did you write a note? I’ll make sure Karen gets it.”
I scrambled back when he removed the safety, panic filling me.
What the fuck was he doing?
He shoved the door shut and locked it before Rory could stop him, advancing on me as I cowered like a fucking idiot on the floor as Rory pounded on the door.
“Well? I’ll make it quicker than slitting your fucking wrists,” he said flatly, squatting in front of me and pressing the barrel to my forehead.
“Don’t,” I choked out, making him tilt his head slightly.
“Don’t what? Kill you? Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Please, Skeet. Don’t,” I repeated, relief filling me when he pulled the gun away and placed his arms on his knees.
“There’s the fucking answer to whatever you were chasing.
You don’t want to die. Can’t change your mind when you slit a vein or hang yourself, remember that.
” He stood, taking my bloodied hand and hauling me to my feet.
“That girl out there loves you for some stupid reason. If you’re tired of fighting for yourself, tell her and she’ll fight for you. ”
“I’m weak. She deserves better,” I forced out, wincing as he grabbed my throat and leaned down to speak quietly.
“You’re not weak, you just had a weak moment.
I don’t care how, just get some help. And move out of this fucking house before I have to burn it down to get you out.
I don’t want Rory lying awake at night wondering if you’re still breathing,” he warned, waiting for me to nod before he turned to the door that was still rattling from Rory trying to get in, and she almost fell in when he unlocked it and yanked it open.
Her fist met his cheek on her way towards me, and I sank into her hold as she glared back at him.
“I asked you to come here for help, not to finish him off.”
“I did fucking help. He’s cured and wants to live. You’re welcome,” he grunted, grabbing the medical kit in one hand and fisting her hair in his other, tugging her back from me. “Hit me again, I dare you.”
Defiance shone in her eyes, and I would’ve bet money on her taking him up on it if I didn’t interrupt.
“Can you two not fight?” I demanded, reaching for the medical bag, but Skeeter swatted my hand away.
“Don’t tell me what to do, you little shit. Sit on the counter.”
I sighed and lifted myself onto the edge, holding my arm out for him to clean properly, and thankfully, most only needed bandaging.
One definitely needed a few stitches though, and my eyes widened when Skeeter grabbed the needle and thread.
“Uh, what about pain relief?”
“Feel free to curse at me or something if it helps. I’ll allow it,” he deadpanned, but Rory moved to stand beside me and took my hand.
“If you want anesthetic, you need the hospital,” she said with a cringe.
“I can’t. Mom—”
“Fuck your mother. If you need a hospital, you go to one. I can fix it, but it won’t be perfect, and it’s going to fucking hurt,” Skeeter scowled, holding up the needle. “I’ll be fast and you don’t need many, but you need to stay still. Can you man up and deal with it or am I wasting my time?”
He was giving me an out but I couldn’t take it. I had to deal with it, or I’d have to deal with much worse when the hospital called Mom.
“I can handle it,” I answered, a weird sense of respect flashing in his eyes as he nodded.
“Alright. Stay still.”
Nothing prepared me for that fucking needle piercing my skin.
I gritted my teeth, a pained grunt leaving me as I fought the urge to pull away. It was only a few stitches, but it felt like a million by the time he was done. Sweat coated my skin, my jaw hurting from how tightly I’d been clenching it, and I felt like I needed to throw up.
Rory wandered off to find me some pain meds from Mom’s bathroom, and Skeeter startled me as he smacked my cheek before gripping my chin to force me to hold his gaze.
“I fucking mean it, Lukas. Don’t do this shit again. Get drunk and fuck your girl to deal with your problems like the rest of us. Or Jensen, I really don’t give a fuck.”