Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Ipulled into the roundabout in front of my house and killed the engine.
I sat there, staring at my childhood home.
It was a two-story log house with a dark roof and a wraparound porch.
Two large pastures sat in the back of the property.
Beyond that, a thick forest surrounded the place.
It was a simple fifteen-minute drive to the main town where all the shops, schools, and churches were.
Most of our packmates lived nearby. This entire area was fairly secluded.
I’d made the drive home by myself, which pissed a lot of people off. But I didn’t care. I couldn’t sit in the truck and listen to anyone blabber on and on for two hours.
The past few weeks had been the toughest of my life. Not being able to be with Laney, not being able to text or call her, had been hell. Since I knew her schedule, I’d hide and catch a glimpse of her. Just to reassure myself that she was okay.
It still felt like my fucking heart had been ripped out of my chest. It was hard to function.
Hard to go about my life as if I cared, because I didn’t.
Being alone had given me a lot of time to think.
My dad had forced me into a corner. I’d done what I had to do to protect Laney, but that didn’t mean I had to lie down and take it like a fucking coward.
My pack expected certain things from me, and they’d get it.
They just needed to know it was a two-way street.
The front door opened, and my mom stood there, waving at me. Reluctantly, I got out of the truck and grabbed my bag, heading inside. I kissed my mom on the cheek and gave her a hug.
“You look tired,” she said. “Everything all right?”
I had no idea how much Dad had shared with her. I assumed he told her everything, but maybe he didn’t. I set my bag down and closed the door. “Breakups are hard,” I said, testing the waters.
She nodded, like she understood. “At least you found someone else. Someone suitable.”
Her words felt like a fork scratching across a plate. Suitable.
“I guess,” I replied. “If love isn’t a requirement.”
The corners of her lips pulled down as her brows drew together. “I’m pretty sure you should love the one you’re marrying.”
My dad entered the room. “I thought I heard the truck pull up.”
I gave him a nod. “Sorry I’m so late.” I’d arrived after dinner. On purpose. And it was Monday. Most everyone else had gone home Friday night, but I’d stayed at school. I only came home when I needed to. “I had a few things I needed to take care of.” Like buying a ring for the engagement.
“I’m glad you decided to propose on Thanksgiving,” Mom said. “It’ll be special being present for it.”
I smiled but didn’t say anything about it. I’d told my parents who I was going to marry, but that was it. “I’m going to take my bag to my room and call it a night.”
“You don’t need anything to eat?” my mom asked. “It looks like you lost some weight.”
I probably had, since I only ate when I needed to. Food felt like lead in my stomach these days.
“Before you head up, you should know the enforcers haven’t shown up yet. Your dad expects them any day.”
“Got it.” I kissed my mom on the cheek and headed upstairs to my room. My brothers’ doors were shut, so I assumed they’d already gone to sleep.
I entered my room and turned on the light. It was exactly like I’d left it. Dark blue bedspread, rugby trophies, and a couple pictures. After living away at college for so long, and after everything that had happened with Laney, it no longer felt like I belonged here.
Not bothering to change, I plopped onto my bed and tried to sleep.
For hours, I tossed and turned. Thoughts of Laney consumed me. Once it was well after midnight, I went downstairs. Out on the back porch, I removed my clothes, then headed down the steps. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I shifted and took off running.
These days, it was easier to be in wolf form. It hurt less, I felt less, and I could lose myself for hours.
I spent the next couple of days avoiding my friends by helping my dad around our farm.
Running it was a full-time job, and he seemed glad to have the extra set of hands.
My brothers had off from school, so I roped them into helping out as well.
In order not to think about Laney and the proposal looming over my head, I had to keep busy.
By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I thought I was going to be ill. After helping Mom prep the turkey and peeling a hundred potatoes, I showered and dressed. It felt like I was preparing for my own funeral.
Several of the more prominent families from the pack were coming over.
My mom expected about fifty people to attend dinner this evening.
It was easy to host so many people since our house was huge, and my dad had built our dining room table, which was big enough to accommodate them easily.
We had a lot of pack meetings and functions here.
I sat on the edge of my bed, dressed in slacks and a polo shirt, holding the engagement ring box in my hands.
I wouldn’t pretend to make this anything it wasn’t.
This was a contract. An agreement. I was doing what needed to be done so Laney would be safe.
This was all for Laney. I pinched the bridge of my nose, willing the pain away.
Someone knocked on my door. “Ro,” my brother, Ryan, called out. “Mom wants you downstairs. The guests are arriving.”
“I’ll be right there,” I replied.
It was time to do this. I’d made my decision; now I just had to carry it out. Sliding the box into my pocket, I left my room and went downstairs.
The house smelled great. Mom had two enormous turkeys in the oven.
People were milling about everywhere. I smiled and greeted our guests.
Even though I didn’t want to be here or be doing this, I had a role in this pack, and I would do my job.
As the next alpha, everyone needed to see me as a capable future leader.
Strong, confident, friendly, and someone who didn’t take any bullshit.
The families here were the most powerful in our pack.
My dad needed their support and loyalty.
And one day, I would as well. It was the only way to keep our pack safe.
Danny approached me. “Hey,” he said, handing me a bottle of beer. “I want to apologize for everything that happened.”
I shrugged. “It’s done.” There was no changing it now. I took a sip.
“Still,” he said, awkwardly shifting his weight. “I’m sorry. You’re one of my best friends. I don’t want that to change.”
I nodded. “What have you been up to this past week?”
He smiled. “Em and I went for a hike and found the perfect Christmas tree. I chopped it down and brought it home. My mom already put it up. We’re decorating it tomorrow.”
“My parents are putting our tree up this weekend before I head back.” I took another sip of my beer.
“My dad mentioned the enforcers haven’t shown up yet.”
“That’s what I heard. I wonder what’s taking them so long.” They always seemed to move at their own pace and do things their own way. Maybe it was because they weren’t from the U.S. Who the hell knew.
Em came over, sliding her arm around Danny and hugging him. “Hey, Ro.”
“When did you get in?” I asked her.
“I came Friday afternoon with Danny. What about you?”
“Monday.” I slid my free hand into my pocket, glancing about the room to see if everyone was here. They were.
“Adan mentioned Laney went to California with Sarah,” Em said.
“That’s what he told me.” Belatedly, I realized I shouldn’t have said that.
I didn’t need my friends knowing I still kept tabs on Laney.
All contact with her was supposed to be severed.
While I hadn’t spoken to her, I had been checking in with Adan to make sure she was okay.
“He said she was doing great and hoped to hook up with a surfer.” I shrugged, as if the idea didn’t make my blood boil.
I wondered if Adan had told me the truth.
Every time I saw Laney, she’d looked sad and withdrawn.
Not at all like she was over me. And she’d never been the sort of girl who’d hook up with a guy just to do it.
“At least she hasn’t caused us any problems,” Em said.
I stood there staring at her. “Yes, we’re lucky,” I ground out.
My mom announced it was time for dinner, so we all moved to the table. I found my spot near the end, on my dad’s left. My mom was sitting across from me, my brothers next to her.
The food looked and smelled amazing. Still, I wasn’t in the mood to eat. We all passed the dishes around, taking our own helpings. My plate was loaded with turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, green beans, and sweet potatoes.
I sat there eating, not doing anything to engage in conversation. If anyone asked me a question, I replied politely.
Once everyone was just about done eating, I stood, hoping I didn’t vomit everything I’d just eaten.
“I’d like to have everyone’s attention,” I said loudly.
Fifty sets of eyes looked my way.
“As you all know, I’ll eventually be taking over for my dad.
That’ll be some big shoes to fill, but I know I’m more than capable.
One of the things that’s important to our pack, is that I marry and continue a strong bloodline.
Since I’ll be graduating in May, it’s time I settle down and take my responsibilities seriously. On that note.”
I pulled the box out of my pocket. I pushed my chair back farther and moved around the table until I reached where Emily was sitting. “Emily, if you’ll stand.”
She blinked several times and looked at Danny.
I didn’t bother glancing at my best friend. Shock and fury radiated off him in droves. It sure did suck when people did things behind your back. I tried not to be smug about it. That wasn’t what this was about. It was just a bonus.