Chapter 16
Chapter
Sixteen
July 13 th
2:47 P.M.
For as long as he lived, Cooper would never forget that Willow had been prepared to sacrifice her own life to give him a chance at surviving.
If he hadn't already been falling hard and fast for her, that would have pushed him over the edge.
But he was falling, and reality was quickly crashing down around him.
When he’d dozed for those couple of hours early this morning, and he’d been thinking on what their next move was, he’d rated their chances of making it to a town or village as maybe eighty percent. It would be hard, but they hadn't been in the air all that long, so he didn't think they could have been overly far from civilization.
Hour by hour those odds were dropping.
Their injuries and the heat were affecting both of them, but he was in a much better position than Willow, and he was starting to genuinely believe that there was every chance she actually wasn't going to make it.
Thirst clawed at him, the temperature alone would have dehydrated them even if they’d had water. They would have had to be constantly guzzling down bottles of the stuff to keep enough water in their systems.
No water in the desert equaled certain death.
There was no way they could walk fast enough to get out of there before that happened. On his own, Cooper was sure it was doable, he wasn't as badly injured, and he could move a whole lot faster.
But for Willow …
The truth was, her body was just too weak.
Which meant he now gave them a less than ten percent chance of surviving this ordeal, mostly because he wasn't ready yet to accept that this was hopeless.
Because once he did there was no going back.
One thing he knew for certain, though, was that he wasn't walking out of there and leaving Willow behind. If she wasn't going to make it there was no way in hell he was going to allow her to die alone in the desert.
No damn way.
If she died, then he’d have to make a choice. Try to walk out carrying her body or bury it in a layer of sand so it wouldn't be found if Tarek Mahmoud and his men searched this area, and leave some sort of marker so he could come back to it later. And he sure as hell would come back.
One way or another, he would bring her home.
Beside him, Willow suddenly cried out and dropped to her knees, her good hand scrambling to reach for her calf as tears streamed down her cheeks.
Tears were good, they meant there was still some water left in her body.
On the other hand, they were bad because Willow knew how to keep her emotions in check, and if she was at the stage where she was crying then she wasn't doing well.
“What’s wrong, honey?” he asked anxiously as he knelt beside her, reaching for her good hand.
She batted it away and began to rub at her calf muscle. “C-cramps,” she forced out as she clenched her teeth together.
Just what they needed .
They were creeping toward a medical emergency he didn't have the tools to deal with.
First, it was heat cramps, then it would progress to heat exhaustion, then following that would come heat stroke. Something she wouldn't survive if he couldn’t get her out of the heat and get some water into her.
Helplessness crushed heavily upon his shoulders. It wasn't that he didn't want to help her, his entire body screamed at him to do something productive. But he couldn’t. He could literally do nothing to help Willow, and it was killing him.
Forcing his fingers to uncurl from the fists they’d formed, he gently shifted her hand away from her legs. “Here, honey, let me do it.”
Teeth still clenched, Willow sank back to lie against the hot sand. Heat was everywhere, it surrounded them, it was in the ground, it was in the air, the sun shone relentlessly on them, and there was not a single tree to give them a little relief.
Massaging her cramps wasn't going to do a damn thing to help her. This wasn't just an overuse problem that working out the kinks in the muscles was going to solve. The only thing that would relieve her of the pain was water.
Right now, he would sell his soul to the devil himself for a bottle of the stuff.
Or for a village to appear on the horizon.
Anything.
Literally, anything that would prevent him from having to stand helplessly by and watch Willow die while he was powerless to do anything about it.
“I’m sorry, Willow,” he whispered forlornly. If he was going to have any chance of processing her impending death, he needed her to know how sorry he was that he couldn’t save her.
Lifting her head just enough to look at him, her brow furrowed as she asked, “For what?”
“Not getting you somewhere safe, for all of this.” He waved a hand at the desert surrounding them on all sides and their mortal enemy the sun.
“None of this is your fault,” she said softly. Although he could feel the tension in her body, and knew the cramps had to be excruciating, somehow she managed a smile for him, and it had tears burning the backs of his eyes.
How was she so strong?
He knew she knew what was coming, it was why she’d tried to convince him to leave her behind. Yet even staring death in the face she was being so damn brave. She was still walking alongside him even as he had to slow his pace until they were barely crawling along. They alternated between him carrying her and her walking a little on her own, but they weren't making anywhere near enough progress to outrun the inevitable.
Cooper’s fingers tightened on her leg as though he could somehow force the cramps from her body. “I should be able to do … something,” he hissed in frustration.
“Like the impossible?”
“Damn the impossible. I want to make it possible. I won't let you die out here,” he roared into the empty desert.
Pushing herself up into a sitting position, Willow’s hands covered his, gently easing them off her cramped muscles, then entwined their fingers together. “That’s exactly why I'm falling for you,” she murmured.
His gaze darted to her face in shock.
Relief that he wasn't the only one who felt this pull drawing them closer momentarily wiped away a little of his fear that he was going to lose Willow before he ever had a chance to make her his.
“I know I've only known you a couple of days, but I've never felt for another man anything even close to what I already feel for you. I just … I wanted you to know.” Her gaze dipped and she didn't need to finish that sentence. Didn't need to say she wanted him to know because she more than likely wasn't going to survive this.
Framing her face, Cooper crushed his lips to hers. This time, it was no sweet, delicate kiss, this time he poured everything into it. These feelings he was developing for her, his helplessness, his regret, how badly he wanted to have a chance with her. All of it. Because this might be his only chance. Willow was deteriorating quickly, and hours might be all he had left with her .
“You're not the only one,” he told her when he finally pulled back enough that he could see her face. “I feel it, too. It’s crazy, but it’s so strong. It’s like my soul is screaming out for yours.”
Tears trickled down her cheeks as she nodded. “I wish we would have gotten a chance.”
“We still have it, it’s not gone yet,” he said fiercely. While he might not be able to give Willow’s body the water it needed, he could make sure she didn't give up. That he could give her. For weeks, she’d been fighting this alone, but she wasn't alone anymore, and he could fight hard enough for both of them.
“Cooper—”
“No. I won't let you give up. Not yet. Not while we’re both still breathing.” Maybe he couldn’t stop the inevitable from happening, but he’d sure as hell give it the best chance he could and fight with everything he had.
Scooping her into his arms he started walking again.
There was no way he was going to just sit there and watch her die right in front of him.
He was going to get them both out if it killed him.
While he might last longer than Willow, death was certain for both of them unless he could find help.
“Talk to me,” Willow said, exhaustion lacing every word as she rested her head against his shoulder. “Tell me anything, I don’t care what, I just like hearing your voice.”
That was something he could do.
Temporarily buoyed by having a practical task to do to make things at least a little better for Willow, Cooper did his best to shove all thoughts of the fact that Willow might not even make it to sunset when the temperatures would fall a little, and just started talking.
July 13 th
5:13 P. M
Why wouldn't the world stop spinning?
She wasn't even walking on her own, she was over Cooper’s shoulders in a fireman’s carry, and yet it felt like the world had sped up until it was like one of those crazy fair rides where you got whipped around in circles until it felt like you were going to throw up.
In fact, Willow did feel like she was going to throw up.
Nausea churned in her stomach, and she was sure that if anything was in there, she would have already embarrassed herself in front of the man she liked by vomiting all over the sand.
So, she supposed it was some small mercy that she hadn't eaten in over twenty-four hours.
Why couldn’t the sun give them just a tiny break?
What she wouldn't give for clouds to form, blocking out some of the sun’s rays and giving her and Cooper a respite from the relentless heat.
Unfortunately, it was still hours until the sun would set and give them a little relief. Not that the temperature drop would be enough to save them, but maybe it would at least slow down the progression of dehydration and heat stroke enough to buy them a few more hours.
It was clear Cooper wasn't going to give up.
He was going to walk himself into an earlier grave by his determination to power on even though he, too, was struggling with the same effects she was, just a little slower.
She was worried about him.
Maybe she should be more worried about herself. She was the one who was more quickly succumbing to dehydration and heat stroke, but she had a feeling her death was going to do terrible things to him. Willow absolutely one hundred percent wanted Cooper to live even if she didn't, of course she did, why wouldn't she? But she didn't want him carrying around a weight of guilt for not saving her. That was no way to live.
All she wanted for Cooper was for him to be happy.
To find the answers he needed about his mom so he could get some closure and focus more on his future and less on his past. To find someone to love him as much and as deeply as she would have if they’d had the chance to get to know one another properly and allow these tiny little feelings to grow into something more.
When Cooper stumbled, barely managing to regain his footing before they both hit the ground, Willow knew she had to do something.
Had to make him stop and rest for a while.
Make him see reason.
“Cooper, stop,” she said as insistently as she could manage through the blaring headache that had taken up residence between her temples and the dizziness that made her feel like she was still moving even as she registered Cooper had stopped.
“What's wrong?” he asked, panicked, as he crouched down and laid her out in the sand.
It felt much too hot against her already overheated skin, and it was hard not to get sidetracked thinking about how wonderful it would be to sink into a nice cool bath and be surrounded by cold rather than hot.
Heaven.
That’s what it would be, but it wasn't something she should be focused on right now.
Not when Cooper needed her.
This might be her last chance to have a cognizant conversation with him. Already it was getting harder and harder to focus, and she didn't know how long she had left, she just knew the end was coming faster than either of them wanted.
“Honey?” Cooper’s hand brushed over her forehead, lingering a little before sweeping around to cradle the back of her head in his palm. “Damn, honey, you're so hot.”
Helpless frustration was radiating off him in waves, and Willow felt a swell of grief inside her. They could have built something wonderful between them, she was sure of it. Given a chance, they could have fallen in love and lived a long and happy life together.
Instead, they were both likely going to die in the middle of the Egyptian desert.
Shock stole her breath for a moment when she tried to lift her hand to caress Cooper’s stubbled jaw only to find that she didn't have the strength for even that simple task.
“What's wrong?” Cooper immediately demanded, picking up on her distress.
“I can't … lift my hand … I'm so weak …” she murmured, finding she barely had the strength to talk let alone move.
She was deteriorating even quicker than she had realized.
How much longer did she have left?
It was still hours until sunset, and even then, the temperature wouldn’t drop low enough to be cold. If they were lucky, they might hit the high sixties, which would certainly be a whole lot nicer than now, but it wouldn't be enough to undo the damage the sun had caused.
Tortured gray eyes stared down at her, so tumultuous, so stormy that if she’d had any tears left in her, they would have cascaded down her cheeks.
“I’ll keep carrying you, honey, all you have to do is focus on breathing and staying with me.”
That was the problem.
Cooper was pushing himself so hard to compensate for her lack of strength that he was going to push himself into an earlier grave. He had to pull back a little and prioritize his body’s needs. Willow didn't want to take her last breath knowing that Cooper was going to quickly follow her into death.
“No,” she insisted as firmly as she could manage.
“No what?”
“No more carrying me. You need to rest. Tonight, when it’s dark, you’ll be able to walk faster then, use up less of your body’s dwindling reserves of water,” she explained. This next part was a lie, but she said it anyway. “Maybe I’ll be able to walk better when the air isn’t so hot.”
In truth, there was no way she was going to be able to walk more than a handful more steps before her body was officially done.
Any steps she did manage to force her body to take would be slow and unsteady. The cramps were bad, they equaled the throbbing in her head, and the only thing that was worse was her body’s pleas for water.
Pleas she couldn’t satisfy because she had no water to drink.
Part of her wished that she’d just died in the crash. At least it would have been done and over with. This was like prolonging the whole thing and the ending was still going to be the same .
She wished she could make Cooper understand that.
Her fate was already sealed. Unless a magical oasis suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and she was able to guzzle down as much water as she wanted then bathe in it and cool her body down, she wasn't going to live.
This wasn't her giving up, it was simply accepting reality.
The quicker Cooper accepted it the better off he’d be.
At least then maybe he could start making decisions that were in his best interest instead of worrying about her. Willow couldn't deny it felt nice to know she mattered to him enough he still wanted to believe that she could be saved, but not nice enough to know it was going to cost him his life.
“The dark is only going to make it harder for us to see where we’re going, easier for us to trip and fall,” Cooper reminded her.
That might be true, and it might have mattered this morning when they started out on this journey, but not now.
Now it was the sun and their exertion that was killing them. She’d rather risk them falling on the rocks that were everywhere beneath the sand, it was the lesser of the two evils they faced.
“I know earlier you didn't want to hear it, but?—”
“No,” Cooper growled at her. The sound might have terrified her if she didn't know him well enough to know he’d never hurt her. Now it just made her smile sadly at him.
“Cooper, you have to accept the inevitable,” she said softly. This wasn't a conversation she believed she’d ever have with another person, that she’d have to talk about her impending death calmly and factually felt surreal. But she had to do what she had to do.
“It’s not inevitable,” he snapped.
Summoning what she had left, Willow managed to lift her hand off the ground and brushed her fingertips across Cooper’s jaw. “It is. I’m dying. Without a miracle, I'm not going to survive. We both know that. You have to accept it, because … I don’t want you to die, too.” A sob caught in her throat. “Please. I don’t want to die knowing I'm going to be the cause of your death. You still stand a chance if you leave me behind. But if you wait much longer then you seal your own fate.”
Gripping her shoulders, Cooper gave her a small shake, and she bit back a moan as pain sliced behind her eyes. “Get this through your head. I am not leaving you behind. Not now, not ever. I will get you out of here.”
His harsh words were softened when he briefly rested his forehead against hers, but then he was standing, gathering her into his arms, and walking again.
Stubborn.
That’s what he was.
And while she admired tenacity and determination, this time those qualities were only going to wind up getting a man she cared about killed.
She was going to get a man she cared about killed.
And Willow had no idea how to stop it from happening.