Chapter Twelve
Valerie
“Good morning,” I cooed as I pushed open the door to NJ’s room. She was standing in her crib, hanging on to the railing as she jumped up and down, cackling. She was the happiest toddler I knew. She beamed at me, showing her four teeth, cheeks chubby and pink. “Merry Christmas, baby girl!”
“Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!” she chanted as I padded over to her window, pulling back her pink curtains and opening the shades.
The early morning sunlight streamed in, drenching her room in a warm glow.
My eyes scanned over the land. The storm had passed around three in the morning, leaving a gorgeous frozen wonderland in its wake.
The snow covered every inch of our home, the sunlight dancing upon the packed snowflakes as it rose higher with each passing moment.
My eyes dropped down, focusing on the red barn and matching bunkhouse beside it.
There was about a foot of snow on the ground, but it was nothing the cowboys couldn’t handle.
Denver had woken up just before dawn, ready to clear a path, but I’d managed to convince him to stay.
My lips tipped up at the thought, remembering how his hands were all over me, his lips against my ear as our bodies moved in time together.
“Mama! Mama!”
Blinking, I snapped out of it and turned to face our little girl. “Are you ready to open presents?” I asked, my voice high. “Is my little sugar plum ready to see what Santa got her?”
“Val, you’re doing it again.”
My neck twisted as I jumped, gasping. Caleb was in the doorway, dressed in jeans and a tan sweater. “Caleb! Don’t scare me like that!”
He smiled. “Probably didn’t hear me over that baby voice you were doing,” he accused.
My eyes narrowed. “First of all, I wasn’t doing a baby voice. Second of all—” I paused. “Is that the sweater Harmony made you?”
He looked down at it and nodded. “Yeah. Fits good. She thought it would be too small by the time Christmas rolled around.”
“Well, in her defense, you eat like a horse and grow like a weed,” I said, lifting NJ out of her crib. His gray eyes landed on his sister then, and it didn’t take much convincing on her end before he stepped into her room and stole her from me.
“Are you ready to open presents?” he asked, bouncing her on his skinny hip. “Are you ready?”
I rolled my eyes at his baby voice and headed to her closet.
There were a lot of moms who dressed their daughters up in poofy dresses every holiday, but my daughter…
Denver Langston’s child? She didn’t do poofy dresses.
The last time I tried to put one on her, she threw the biggest fit recorded in Hallow Ranch history (according to Jigs).
So our princess would be wearing highly fashionable blue jeans and a pink Christmas Grinch shirt today.
As I pulled those out, I heard my husband’s heavy footfalls coming down the hallway.
“There’s my family,” he rumbled as I turned around.
His eyes connected with mine, warming as a rare but magnificent smile stretched across his face.
The shadow that had been looming over him since December first was no longer present.
In fact, there was a light about him now. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen.
It was magical.
“Merry Christmas, baby,” he said, his voice just as warm as the smile he wore.
My lips parted, a wave of emotion slamming into me.
My cowboy just said Merry Christmas to me…for the first time.
Every year before this, whenever I said it to him, he would just kiss my forehead and move on.
I struggled to find the words, my body frozen. “I—”
Caleb, my amazing stepson, found the words for me…though his delivery was a bit…unexpected. “What the hell did you just say, Dad?”
Denver, my dark, grumpy cowboy, looked at his son for a split second before he tossed his head back and laughed.
Laughed.
The sound, another gift. Precious and everlasting. Especially on a day like today.
His laughter rumbled up from his wide chest and bounced off NJ’s walls, a room her grandmother, Jane, once used as her dark room. I could feel her presence every time I came in here, but right now, in this moment, her light was all I could feel as she drenched her son in it.
“Smoke,” I croaked, hugging NJ’s outfit to my chest.
Denver rolled his neck, his laughter slowly dying, shoulders still shaking. “I know I’ve been a bit of a Grinch, son, but fucking hell, I didn’t expect you to be so shocked.”
Caleb shot me a look. “Did you drug him or something?”
Shaking my head, I shrugged. “I have nothing to do with this.”
Denver stepped into the room, his face serious.
“Valerie, you have everything to do with it.” He looked at Caleb and NJ.
“All of you, actually.” He paused, gathering his thoughts, and Caleb and I waited.
God, but we waited, holding on to a hope that had been slowly dying, year after year.
“When my mother died, my Christmas spirit died along with her,” he finally said.
He glanced at me before focusing on our children.
“Your grandma loved Christmas, bud. I remember when Mase and I came home from school for winter break and this entire house would be drenched in red and green. She used to tie red ribbon around the kitchen cabinet doors to make them look like presents. Every year she would make her famous snickerdoodle cookies for Santa, but Mase and I…” He trailed off, chuckling a bit.
“One year, we stole the entire plate, ran up to her dark room,” he gestured around, “and ate all twenty of them.”
Caleb smiled. “Bet she hated that.”
“Nah, bud. She loved it.” All of us turned to find Mason leaning in the doorframe, head bent, eyes on his boots.
My bottom lip began to tremble, knowing the last time the Langston brothers were in this room together, a deep, healing conversation was had.
Oh, the sweet, sweet irony of it all.
“What are you doing here?” Den asked, ticking his head to the side.
Mase looked up and cleared his throat. “Came up to put the ham on and no one was downstairs. Figured everyone was sleeping in and came to wake y’all.”
NJ started clamping her hand, trying to wiggle out of Caleb’s hold, her eyes set on her uncle. “Mas, Mas!” she called.
My brother-in-law pulled his gaze from Denver and smiled at her. “Good morning, nugget,” he greeted before looking at me. “Sorry for barging in.”
I waved him off. “Mase, this was your house before it was mine.”
He gave me a thin smile as Caleb passed NJ to him. He sighed and held her close, pressing his lips to the top of her head before throwing his arm around Caleb’s shoulders. “Merry Christmas, bud.”
Caleb smirked. “Merry Christmas, Uncle Mase.”
Denver folded his arms over his chest. “Where was the shock with your uncle?”
“Dad, Uncle Mase loves Christmas. Dude has three Christmas trees at his house.”
His eyes slid over to me, seeking confirmation. Denver hadn’t been over to Harm and Mase’s since November. I nodded. “It’s true.”
“Look, before everyone gets downstairs,” Mason started, lifting his chin to his brother, “you think we could talk in private for a minute?”
My body moved. This conversation needed to happen, and it needed to happen now. “Of course!” I chirped, plucking NJ out of Mason’s arms.
He held his hands out, confusion coating his features. “Uh, Val?”
I ignored him, snatching Caleb’s hand. “I’ll just get NJ dressed in our room, okay, honey?” I said, casting a soft look to Denver.
“We can get out of here so you can—”
“No!” I blurted.
Both of them stared at me.
“I—what I mean is, if you’re about to have the conversation I think you’re about to have, then there is no other place to have it than right here. In this room.”
They looked at each other. I watched as the tension vanished from Denver’s frame, a look of realization coming across Mason’s features. “Right,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Take your time. We’ll be downstairs getting breakfast started when you’re done,” I rushed out, dragging Caleb out of the room.
“It wouldn’t be a true Hallow Ranch Christmas without a therapy conversation anyway,” Caleb called over his shoulder, shutting the door.
Once we were on the landing, I turned to face him, blowing out a breath.
Caleb nodded, scanning my face. “Yeah, this conversation is way overdue, Val. Like a decade overdue.”
I popped out my hip and ran a finger through my hair and NJ babbled. “Don’t I freaking know it,” I mumbled.
“Here, I’ll get NJ dressed if you wanna head downstairs,” he offered.
“No, no! You go downstairs and—”
“If I go down there, I’m opening presents and not waiting on anyone,” he deadpanned.
I handed NJ to him. “Right.”
He smirked and took her outfit before carrying her to his room.
As I headed downstairs, the smell of coffee flooded my senses.
Denver must’ve set the timed brew last night after carrying me up to bed.
I smiled as I hopped off the last stair and practically twirled into the living room.
The morning light drenched the space, the tree sparkling even though it wasn’t plugged in.
My eyes dropped to the presents from Santa that Denver had set out last night, appreciating the display.
He’d taken his time, I could tell. I moved to the fireplace, grabbed a match, and lit it.
It took a few minutes, but by the time the wood started to crack and set, the tree was lit and I was nearly done fluffing the pillows. Again.
I took a step back, enjoying the quiet as I turned to face the tree.
My eyes closed as I whispered, “Merry Christmas, Momma. I love you so much.” I took a deep breath, letting myself soak in this feeling before opening my eyes and turning to Jane Langston’s rocking chair in the corner. “Merry Christmas, Jane.”
Then I headed into the kitchen to put the cinnamon rolls in the oven.