Chapter 12
CHAPTER
TWELVE
ROMAN
EIGHT YEARS AGO
I hate sneaking around. But I’d do it a thousand times over for her.
Somewhere between late-night texts and stolen glances across the rink, I fell for the one girl I should’ve stayed away from—my coach’s daughter.
The same coach who’s made it crystal clear that if any of his players so much as look at her sideways, they’re benched.
If it ever came down to a choice between keeping Addie or keeping my spot on the team… there’s no question. It’s her—every single time.
Right now, the guys and I are in the final quarter of the game, and we’re head-to-head with one goal to score to win.
There’s no doubt in my mind that we’re going to do it.
No room for anything except the absolute certainty that we’re about to bury this puck in the back of their net and walk away with the win.
I’ve got the best guys around me, teammates I’ve bled with and fought beside.
Most of them, I’d trust with my life. Others?
I’d rather slam into the ice and pretend it was an accident.
The puck drops, and everything else disappears. Right now, it’s just me, the ice, and the game I’ve loved since I was a kid. My blades carve deep as I chase down the puck, adrenaline crackling through me like electricity.
We move through plays we could run in our sleep. Zeke takes the hit, sending the puck along the boards. Jasper scoops it up, cool as ever, and just like that, it’s back on my stick—right where I want it. We play as one; I don’t even have to look to know where they are. I just know.
Twenty seconds left on the clock.
I spin past a defender, threading the puck to Chad, before he flips the puck right back to me. I don’t hesitate. I shoot, and the puck sails to the back of the net. The red light flashes, the horn blares, and the game is ours.
The arena explodes around me, and the fans are on their feet, giving off the kind of energy only a win in the final seconds can deliver.
Jasper barrels into my side, slamming me against the boards.
Zeke and Grant are right there, piling on, all of us shouting, laughing, and letting the adrenaline take over.
When I finally break away, breathless, I scan the stands, and there she is—my girl, in her usual spot, on her feet and shining brighter than the arena lights.
She’s grinning, her eyes fixed on mine, and when she lifts her arm, I know exactly what’s coming.
She holds up one finger, and the rest of the world drops away.
One finger—our code. You’re the one. I love you.
I can’t help the grin that splits my face.
I lift my hand, two fingers in the air. I love you too.
Maybe it’s dumb, but it’s ours.
Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me?
I scrub a hand down my face, trying to erase the image, but the damage is done. The memory’s already there.
I was more involved in Addie’s pleasure than I ever meant to be—though if I’m being honest, if I really didn’t want it, I wouldn’t have let myself get lost in her and the way she touched herself.
It was… Fuck. I don’t even have the words for what it was.
Beautiful.
Devastating.
Addictive.
Terrifying.
And now my head’s a mess because deep down I know this is all going to blow up in our faces. The truth is, when I saw them all together in the bed—Addie, Zeke, and Jasper—I felt like maybe this crazy, impossible thing could actually work, and that scares the shit out of me.
I’m staring at my reflection, trying to make sense of the storm in my head, when I catch Jasper’s dark eyes in the mirror as he steps up behind me.
I don’t think I’ve ever needed to be closer to him more than I do right now.
He doesn’t say anything at first. He just runs his hands over my shoulders, his thumbs dragging slow circles over the tense muscles before pressing a soft kiss to the back of my neck.
“Who are you running from?” he asks quietly. “Her or yourself?”
“Both,” I admit.
He wraps his arms around me from behind, pulling me into his chest, and I let myself sink into him, resting the back of my head against his shoulder.
“You’d think I’d be over this by now.”
“No, baby. You love too hard for that. You hold on tight to the things that matter, and when something hurts you, you shut it out.”
“It isn’t healthy.”
“So?” he whispers, lips grazing the shell of my ear. “Nobody gets through life without being a little messed up.”
I actually laugh, the sound surprising us both. Jasper grins, then starts peppering light, playful kisses along my neck, chasing the tension away one touch at a time.
His hands don’t stop moving, one gliding over my chest, the other tracing the dip of my waist, not just touching but holding me.
“You think she’s okay?” I ask.
“I think she’s worried about you.”
I hate that he might be right. If that’s true, it means she still cares, and that’s a whole other kind of mess I’m not ready to unpack.
“Maybe it’s time you had a real conversation with her,” he says.
“What’s the point in dragging it back up now?
We’re leaving straight after the ceremony.
” I catch that brief spark of hope that lights up his eyes before he tries to hide it.
“Don’t go there. Get it out of your head because it’s never going to happen, and I don’t want you getting lost in something she’ll probably run from by tomorrow. ”
“What if she doesn’t?”
I turn to face him, pressing my hand to his chest, right over his heart. “Don’t let this break, Jasper. I know what she means to you and Zeke.”
He snorts, rolling his eyes. “Stop feeding yourself that crap and be real for once. Or don’t, but don’t lie to me.”
“I just…” I pause, swallowing around the knot in my throat. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, baby. That’s all this is.”
He brushes his thumb over my cheek and tilts his head.
“I’ll be fine. Zeke will be fine. You will be fine.
And so will she.” He says it like it’s a truth he’s decided on, and the universe has no choice but to fall in line.
“It’ll work out the way it’s supposed to.
” Before I can say anything else, he steps in closer, his body moving into mine and caging me gently against the sink.
“Now,” he murmurs, pressing a slow kiss beneath my jaw, “weren’t you supposed to be getting cleaned up? ”
He doesn’t say a word as he guides me into the shower, following close behind until we’re both standing under the spray. He reaches for the shower gel and lathers it between his hands, then starts working it over my chest and arms in smooth, steady circles.
Our bodies move together in the steam and heat. We’re skin to skin, both of us hard but completely untouched because this isn’t about sex. This is intimacy and letting someone love you when you don’t know how to ask for it.
When he’s finished, I return the favor, washing him with the same care he showed me. My hands roam over the hard lines of his chest, back, and shoulders, taking my time with him.
Water drips from his hair, trailing down his cheeks and along the curve of his jaw.
He’s beautiful.
I close the space between us, pressing my body flush against his, pinning him against the shower wall. His skin burns beneath mine, and the second our mouths meet, I forget how to breathe.
I kiss him slowly, my tongue gliding against his, his taste flooding my mouth and pulling me deeper until everything else just falls away.
Right now, there’s only this—the feel of his body against mine, the quiet whimper he makes when I angle my head and deepen the kiss, and the way he kisses me back like I’m the only thing that exists in his world.
“I love you.” He breathes those three words against my lips—words that still undo me, no matter how much time passes.
“I love you too. So fucking much.”
We stay like that, foreheads pressed together, mouths barely apart, breathing each other in while the water beats down around us.
Eventually, I ease off him, and we stand quietly beneath the stream, both of us reluctant to break the moment, even though we know we have to. He steps out first, grabbing a towel from the rack and tossing one my way.
“You ready, Captain?”
“I think so.”
But honestly? I’m not sure.
Jasper, who is without a doubt the most affectionate person I’ve ever met, doesn’t hesitate to take my hand and lace our fingers together. He’s always touching me or Zeke whenever he can, probably to make up for the moments he can’t.
The second I step inside the bedroom, Addie’s eyes go wide. She thinks I’m going to ask her to leave. It’s written all over her face, that worry and uncertainty, but even if I can’t bring myself to sleep right next to her tonight, I’d never send her away.
Not now. Not ever.
“Zeke said it was okay…” she whispers.
“Of course it is, angel,” Jasper says, climbing into bed beside her.
I follow, slipping in on his other side as Zeke quietly gets out of bed, still naked.
He grabs his underwear, pulls it on, and crouches down beside me.
He runs a hand through my still-damp hair, searching my face for something I’m not sure I could name even if I tried.
But I let him see it all—the worry, the longing, the fear.
He exhales, leans in, and kisses my forehead, then presses a gentle kiss to my mouth.
When he’s done, he reaches for Jasper, kissing his cheek before switching off the lamp and climbing back into bed.
Time passes strangely after that. It could be minutes, but it feels like hours.
Jasper’s sprawled on his back, one arm tucked behind his head, the other resting on his stomach.
Zeke’s turned toward me, his chest to Addie’s back, arms curled around her in that protective way he's held me so many times before
He’s good at making people feel safe.
I let my gaze linger on them, watching Addie’s chest rise and fall, and something inside me loosens just a little.
Maybe Jasper’s right.
Maybe this doesn’t have to fall apart.
Maybe we still have time to get it right.