Chapter 36
Chapter thirty-six
Keaton
“H
ow much longer?” I’ve been pacing the tiny interrogation room for what’s going on centuries. No wonder people confess all sorts of things in here. It feels as though the concrete walls are caving in on you and knowing someone is on the other side of that window is unnerving.
My hand is bruised and throbbing, but the pain is nothing compared to the one in my chest where it feels like my fucking heart has been ripped out.
Normally when I’ve had a bad day, I can’t wait to hold Anna in my arms and let her make all the problems go away.
But what do I do when she’s the fucking problem?
“You’re being questioned for assault, Keat. They’re trying to determine if the damage you did to that asshole’s face is worthy of a misdemeanor or felony. It’s not gonna be a quick process.”
Amanda followed through and Cam was here waiting before we even made it to the station. It helps that his office is close by, I suppose. He’s already spoken with the officers and the prosecutor and now I’m just waiting to hear that I can go home.
The word home cuts me like a knife. Home is where Anna is. Home is where all of her things are. Home is where she told me she loves me. Home is both the last place and the only place I want to be right now.
“Gotta say, I’m pissed I missed the show. I would have helped you take down that asshole.” Lincoln cracks his knuckles before throwing punches into the air.
“Yeah, and then I’d be trying to bail out both of my big brothers for being complete idiots,” Cam rolls his eyes.
“You’re right,” I say with a heavy sigh. “I am a fucking idiot.”
“Keaton, stop. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Whether you did or not doesn’t make it any less true.
I’ve been an idiot since the first moment I met her.
” A vision of Anna in the airport has my heart aching and my teeth clenching.
“I was an idiot when she dragged me into that chapel. I was an idiot when I told her I love her. And I was a fucking idiot for believing her.”
“You know what, when you say it all out loud, you are a fucking idiot.”
“Lincoln, stop,” Camden says. “Keaton, he doesn’t mean it.”
“Oh, I fucking mean it alright. But you’re not an idiot for marrying the girl you’re so obviously in love with. You’re not an idiot for believing what she said about the guy we could instantly see was harassing her.. No, you’re an idiot for being so goddamn willing to throw all of it away.”
“She fucking slept with him, Linc!”
“Did she say she slept with him? No. This deranged guy with a hard-on came into your office and started making wild accusations about the woman you say you fucking love. And you’re choosing to believe him before talking to her and setting the record straight.
And that is what makes you a fucking idiot.
” Lincoln kicks at my cell and my fists tighten, apparently not finished throwing a few punches.
“Guys, you’re gonna make Officer Guthrie come over here and if I have to listen to him give you a speech about what will and will not go down in his cells, I’m going to strangle the both of you and then we’ll all be on that side of the bars.
” I look over at my usually passive brother, but Cam appears to be on edge.
“Sorry, Cam. Tell it to me straight, how much shit am I in?”
He lets out a heavy sigh and shakes his head.
“I don’t know, but things don’t look good right now, Keat.
You struck him multiple times and witnesses say he never even raised a fist in your direction.
I know you said he touched her, but if Anna doesn’t come forward and say that touch was unwanted or that there was a threat or something with it, then this could be a long ass road in front of us. ”
My chest tightens at the thought that maybe I interrupted something she was wanting in the first place. “You really think she wanted him to touch her like that?”
“You really are a fucking idiot,” Cam mutters.
“I think Anna loves you more than I’ve seen anybody love someone before.
I think you did the right thing putting that guy on his ass.
I think you need to talk with her and genuinely listen to what she has to say because there’s more to all of this than what we currently know. ”
“Fisher, bail has been posted,” Officer Guthrie interrupts before I can take in what my brothers both have told me. What Anna has told me. She may love me, but I can’t help but wonder if there was once a time when she loved him, too.
“Time to gather your belongings and head home. And Keaton,” I look at Caden Guthrie, the man I played football with all through high school, as he twirls his wedding ring around his finger. “Stop being the idiot your brothers say you are and talk to your wife.”
I can’t fucking be here. Every surface of this house is covered in Anna’s scent.
Every corner is haunted by a memory we made with one another.
Her things are everywhere. The coffee cup she drank from this morning sits in the sink.
Her clothes are hanging in my closet. I want to believe she loves me and only me, but every time I close my eyes, all I can see is that jackass on top of her.
Fed up with the pacing I haven’t been able to stop since I got home, I decide the best way to get rid of the thoughts that won’t let up for even a second, is to numb them with alcohol.
“Let’s go to Kalli’s,” I holler at my brothers who are busy watching the Cats play on tv.
“The game is on,” Lincoln states.
“And it will be on at Kalli’s.”
“Maybe a drink isn’t the best idea,” Camden suggests.
“I don’t plan on a drink.” I plan on about fifty.
“Can you just fucking man up and call her already? Talk to Anna and find out what’s going on. You sitting here worried about something that may or may not have happened isn’t doing anybody any good.”
It doesn’t take much for Lincoln to get on my nerves, but today he is being an exceptional pain in my ass. I don’t need a fucking therapist right now. I need my brother. And some bourbon.
“Listen Linc, I’m about tired of your shit.
I’m not in the right headspace to talk to her right now.
The thought of that asshole with his hands on her has fucking ripped my heart out of my chest. I want to go to the bar with my brothers and get out of this house where the only thing I can see no matter where I turn, is her.
I don’t want to talk about her. I don’t want to think about her.
And I sure as hell don’t want to feel anything about her. Now are you coming with me or not?”
Begrudgingly, they stand up and we head out to Lincoln’s Bronco and off to drink my problems away.
“Thought you weren’t going to have a drink,” I hear Lincoln mutter, “you’ve had like fifty.”
I can’t help but smile happily for the first time since this morning. “It makes me feel good. I felt bad. I don’t want to feel bad. Good beer makes for a good mood.”
“That’s bourbon you fucking idiot,” Lincoln says, but even his bad mood can’t bring me down after the several drinks I’ve consumed.
“Same thing.”
“It really fucking isn’t.”
“I like the way it looks when you hold the glass up in the light. It’s so pretty. Like her. She’s so pretty.” I take a sip and then look back over at my brother, my good mood slipping a little. “Why does she have to be so pretty? Have you seen her? So. Fucking. Pretty.”
“Thought you didn’t want to talk about her?” Lincoln drawls, taking a drag of his beer.
“I’m not talking about nobody. I didn’t say who I was talking about.” I lean in and whisper to him, “But in case you were wondering, I’m definitely talking about Anna.”
The motherfucker rolls his eyes at me, and I whine at him, “Don’t do that.”
“It’d be a helluva lot easier to stop if you could stop doing and saying stupid shit. You ready to go home?”
I shake my head. “Can’t go home. Nope. Can’t be there.”
“And why the fuck not?”
“All her stuff is there. That’s why I came here.” I wave down Kalli to let her know my glass of bourbon is empty and she shakes her head, denying me more of the sweet liquid.
“Please, Kalli. Just one more?” I plead, but her face is all scrunched up at me. She walks down the bar and stands there with her arms crossed. “Oh, no. Are you mad? Did someone here say something? Did I say something? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Wanna tell me why you’re drinking like it’s your last day on this earth?”
I snort. “Nope. I’m fine.”
“When people say they’re fine that means they’re anything but. Pretty sure you’re working your way to polishing off an entire bottle all by yourself. So try again.”
I don’t want to share my pain, but the words slip from my lips regardless, “Broken heart, Kal. Broken heart.”
“Get the fuck over yourself,” Lincoln growls.
“Stop being mean to me. I’m sad and drunk.”
“If you would just talk to her, you might not need to be in this state right now.” Camden tries to convince me. I could have sworn he wasn’t here just a minute ago. In fact, he entered the bar with us and then poof. It’s like he disappeared. Maybe I have had too much to drink.
“Where the hell did you come from?” I ask.
“I had to make a quick phone call. He can have one more, Kalli. Give him one more pour and then we’re taking him home.”
My favorite bartender fills up my glass again and I smile at my baby brother. “I knew I always liked you the best.”
A hand reaches up and slaps the back of my head. I turn to look at Lincoln. “That just further proves why Cam is the better brother.”
He snorts a “whatever” at me and focuses back on the game. I pull out my phone. If my brothers want me to talk to Anna, then I’ll talk to Anna.
Keaton
you are so preety
Keaton
i love you so flucking much
Keaton
but nknowing that he know you that way hurts
Keaton
and i dont think i wanna love you nymore