Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Emma
I couldn’t believe how relaxed I was as I drove home. It was because Asher didn’t seem to expect anything from me. I lifted my fingers and touched my lips. He kissed me. That was something I hadn’t expected.
He’d even asked if it was okay before he did it. Consent. How many guys had I dated that just hauled me into their arms and kissed me. They never asked or anything. Just expected me to comply.
My last date found out really fast that I wasn’t going to tolerate him trying to kiss me all night long. That’s why I was alone at that party. Did Asher remember? I wasn’t sure; he hadn’t said anything so far, and neither had I.
When I got home last night, I was tired. It wasn’t like Asher lived that far from me, about thirty minutes, but after a full day, two beers, and a full dinner, my body only wanted my bed.
Clothes and stuff were still strewn all over my bedroom. While I cleaned up, I kept thinking about Asher’s body beneath mine. He was hard where I was soft. But it was more than that. I always worried that I was too heavy, but he didn’t care. Just pulled me over him.
But all of this made me realize that there were old tapes still playing in my head.
Especially when it came to my size and what I ate.
Over the years, I’d gone to therapy about my relationship with my parents and the things that had happened as a child.
Until today, I thought I’d dealt with them.
I shook my head. I’d finally become comfortable with my body; I’m who I am meant to be, not some artificial person.
But when Asher commented on what I ate at work, I got nervous.
When he admitted he liked junk food as well, I began to relax.
Okay, so therapy didn’t completely get rid of my self-critical demons. I’m a work in progress.
I tossed a load of laundry into the washer and made my way into the kitchen. Asher admitted he didn’t cook much, so maybe I could whip up a few things for him to put in his freezer. My hand froze as I reached for my cookbook.
What was I thinking? Asher could take care of himself. He didn’t need me to do it for him. My arm dropped. We’re co-workers, nothing more. Although that kiss made me feel like there was more.
Get a grip, Emma. One kiss, well, okay, maybe two, but that was it. I didn’t need a relationship with Asher.
But I wanted one.
I was at Fantasies, Inc. to do a job, not make out with the head of IT, no matter how much I might want to do that.
Marching out of the kitchen, I flopped down on the sofa and turned on the TV. I needed to re-build my walls. The last thing I needed was a man in my life.