19. SAMMY
SAMMY
The music was pumping, the studio lights were set to a stronger power-level than existed on the face of the sun, and Sammy was struggling to maintain any kind of enthusiasm.
With Tucker making Sammy make content clip after content clip, the words coming out of Sammy’s mouth were becoming totally meaningless. This wasn’t about Sammy’s passion for food now, it was just nothing more than empty content.
But with Tucker barking orders and a couple of Tucker’s hangers on milling around, Sammy very much felt outnumbered. Any indication of rebellion on Sammy’s part wouldn’t have been a good idea. Sammy simply didn’t feel like he had any power or any control over what was going on.
The feeling of having no control sucked. But Sammy felt like he was all out of options – he had to follow Tucker’s instructions and simply hope that the nightmare would end sooner rather than later.
Just keep going.
Keep smiling.
Hold back the tears…
Sammy was putting a brave face on things, and that was an understatement. The schedule was more punishing than ever, and it felt to Sammy like he was making content non-stop.
But worse than that, it didn’t even feel like he was making content for himself.
All the work felt like it was for Tucker.
The fact that it was Sammy in the videos, Sammy’s name on the YouTube and TikTok channels was just a side-issue.
For all intents and purposes, this was about making money for Tucker.
In truth, Sammy was hating every single second.
But Sammy knew that he had to keep on going and doing exactly what Tucker wanted otherwise Tucker might never give him access to his finances again. By being a good boy now, Sammy figured that Tucker might trust him again in the future.
The reality was the Sammy was terrified that Tucker might simply permanently shut him out of his own bank accounts. Sammy had heard about things like this happening to other content makers before. The horror stories were enough to make anyone scared.
Sammy felt alone and totally isolated.
While Sammy wanted to reach out to Harrison, he was scared of how Harrison might react. Sammy had told Harrison in the note that he was only going away for a couple of days. But it had been over four days now and he hadn’t returned.
Harrison could have given up on him.
Or worse, Sammy worried that Harrison could have met someone new to take his place.
This might have seemed over the top to think like this in any other situation, but Sammy didn’t understand why Harrison hadn’t simply driven to the city to find him. After all, weren’t Daddy Doms supposed to be all super-protective and possessive?
‘Hmmm, if Harrison is my Forever Daddy, then why isn’t here with me now?’ Sammy said, snuggling up to Zozo on a brief break from filming. ‘Why does nothing make sense anymore?’
It was at this point that Tucker walked into the room. He looked angry. With his brand-new diamond earring flashing under the studio light and his gold watch looking equally flashy, Tucker was quite obviously enjoying spending the money that Sammy had earned himself.
‘Break’s nearly over,’ Tucker said, his voice cold and flat. ‘We’ve got a lot to get through and I want you to bring your A-game this time. No half-assing it. Got it?’
‘Y-y-yes, Tucker,’ Sammy said. ‘Please can I have a juice box? I’m thirsty.’
‘Fine, don’t say I never do anything for you!’ Tucker replied, his mock anger coming off as cruel and taunting. ‘I’ll be back in a moment.’
As Tucker left the room, Sammy noticed that Tucker had left Sammy’s phone on the shelf. Tucker had been looking after Sammy’s cellphone during filming and seemed reluctant to hand it back.
Sammy decided that this was his chance.
Tucker would be back with the juice box in a few minutes, so if Sammy wanted to send some messages to Harrison and his Little friends, now was the time to do it.
Sammy sprung up from the couch and grabbed his phone. Sammy’s first instinct was to message Harrison, but he was worried that he might make a fool of himself or say the wrong thing.
I don’t want Harrison thinking I’m some dumb Little.
I need to show him I’m strong.
I need to…
Sammy decided that he would message Lars first and let him know that he was okay. They hadn’t messaged much in the last couple of days, and the last thing that Sammy wanted was for Lars to think that he was giving him the silent treatment.
To be honest, it had struck Sammy as being a bit odd that Lars hadn’t been messaging him either. But, on the other hand, Lars always had a lot going on in the science lab so maybe it made sense.
Sammy typed a quick series of messages to Lars but just before he could write to Harrison, Tucker reentered the room and pretty much snatched the phone out of Sammy’s hand.
‘I’ll look after this,’ Tucker said, handing Sammy the juice box. ‘After all, we don’t want you getting unnecessarily distracted, now do we?’’
Sammy shook his head.
Sammy may have managed to squeeze in a message to Lars, but the fact that he hadn’t managed to get in touch with Harrison made him feel sad. Part of Sammy wanted to stand up and snatch his phone right back from Tucker. But Sammy knew that he wouldn’t do this.
Confrontation wasn’t Sammy’s thing.
‘Come on, up!’ Tucker said. ‘You can drink that juice later. We’re behind on our schedule and you need to get changed out of those clothes and into your outfit.’
‘My outfit?’ Sammy said, not sure what Tucker was talking about. ‘But-’
‘But nothing!’ Tucker replied. ‘Trust me. I’m your manager. I know exactly what’s good for you. Now, hurry up. We’ve got some naughty footage to record!’
Sammy gasped but he didn’t say anything. Stunned into silence, Sammy’s heart felt sad. As Sammy followed behind Tucker, his only wish was that the day could come to an end as soon as possible.
What does Tucker mean by naughty fun?
I don’t like the sound of this.
I don’t like the sound of this at all…
* * *
Sammy was finally done for the day. And he was glad that there was at least no more filming to do, even if that meant he had to work on writing a blogpost to go live the following day.
‘Urgh. I’m no good at writing stuff like this,’ Sammy sighed, his mind still distracted by the embarrassment he had felt at filming in nothing but a pair of skimpy gold shorts earlier on. ‘Zozo, I don’t think I can keep on doing this.’
Sammy and Zozo were back in their apartment.
They were sitting at the small kitchen table with a big blanket over them.
Tucker had apparently cancelled the heating so that more money could be invested into buying a new camera for them to film on.
Well, this is what he had told Sammy anyhow.
Sammy was beginning to have some serious doubts about whether Tucker was truly looking after his money well at all.
This just doesn’t feel right.
I don’t think Tucker is a good man.
But I feel… trapped.
Sammy wanted to burst into tears. Cold, tired and hungry wasn’t a good place to be – and especially when Sammy cast his mind back to just how happy he was living in Harrison’s house. The roaring fire, the fully stocked kitchen, the endless supply of Daddy-snuggles.
‘I give up,’ Sammy said, his voice full of sadness. ‘This blog can write itself. Come on Zozo, let’s watch a movie in bed.’
Sammy picked Zozo up and the pair of them walked into the bedroom. It was so cold that Sammy didn’t even change into his pajamas. Instead, Sammy simply got under the covers and wrapped both him and Zozo up as tightly as he could.
Sammy tried to warm up, but it was difficult with the whole apartment so chilly. Even the prospect of watching a movie didn’t seem appealing.
Lying in bed with no motivation and feeling physically and emotionally drained, Sammy’s mind cast back to one of the moves his family made as a child.
It had been across from the West coast to the East, and Sammy remembered how the new house didn’t even have a working heating system for the first three weeks.
Each night had been a long, horrible experience of shivering so hard it wasn’t possible to get to sleep.
No, no, no, stay positive.
Life is different now.
I have friends, security, a… Daddy.
But Sammy knew that his positive thinking was only worth so much.
Right now, he felt like his life was about as far from perfect as he could possibly imagine.
Something had to change, he had to somehow work out a way of escaping from Tucker’s clutches and getting control of his money back at the same time too.
Sammy remembered how when the family had moved to that cold, miserable house they had all eventually decided to sleep in the same bed until the heating issue got resolved. That had actually been kinda fun.
‘I wish we had Daddy here,’ Sammy said, holding onto Zozo extra tightly. ‘Hmmm. Speaking of Daddy…’
Sammy didn’t have his phone with him – it was with Tucker.
But Sammy did have his Kindle. And maybe this meant that he could be closer to Harrison without actually speaking to him. After a quick search, Sammy found Harrison’s most well-known novel and downloaded it.
It may not have been a movie, and Sammy was definitely worried about it being too grown up for him, but Sammy was desperate to feel a sense of closeness to Harrison and figured this might just be the way to do it.
But just as Sammy touched the screen to begin reading, the Kindle’s battery warning flashed, and it turned itself off. This was the last straw for Sammy.
Everything that could go wrong was going wrong.
Sammy’s return to the city was turning out to be a total nightmare – and to make matters even worse it was the type of nightmare that Sammy simply couldn’t see a way out of.
Sammy needed his Daddy to protect him and keep him warm.
But instead, Sammy was cold, alone, and feeling like there was no hope for the future.