Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
CYRUS
Everything locks in place.
The Captain’s awake.
Holy fuck.
Mabel’s voice echoes in my head, repeating those same words over and over, drilling those words in until I recognise what she’s saying.
Amara’s awake.
Warm hands grips mine, slowly chasing away the darkness I hadn’t even realised has started to enclose my vision.
Rapidly blinking, I clear away the residual black that lingers before I can see Tally’s worried eyes staring up into mine.
“Are you okay?” Her voice is tender, low with concern lacing through every syllable.
I wince. I hate how well she can see every emotion I have. How I allow her to see everything. It makes me feel raw. Cut open with everything on display.
No one has ever seen beneath my carefully built walls.
Not until Tally.
I hate that she can.
But I also really don’t.
I nod, fighting with my tongue to express the words I need to.
“Would you like to go see her?” Her tone is still low and careful, like she’s holding a loaded musket and unsure when it might fire. Shaking my head and forcing deep breaths with my eyes closed, I re-centre myself and fight to not look as wounded as I feel.
“Yeah,” My voice comes out croaky and I have to clear my throat before continuing. “Yeah, I would.”
She nods slightly and a small uptick of her mouth showcases that she's pleased with me making that decision. At least, I hope. I have to fight back the need to wince again.
She turns on her heels, walking away from me, taking her heat with her and leaving me with the bone chilling cold of the room.
It isn’t until I stroke my hands up my arms, still rooted to the same spot on the floor, that I realise I’m still naked.
It makes more sense when Tally comes back from the dresser carrying a silk and lace chemise.
Without asking or hesitating, she slides it over my head and manhandles me to get me dressed. All whilst I can barely get my thoughts to follow one singular path.
Once she’s wrestled the chemise onto my body, her palm comes to rest on my cheek, imbuing me with her warmth once again. It gives me the mental clarity I need to figure out what I’m doing next.
Although she’s decided what we’re doing next anyway. Her palm slides from my cheek, down my arm to my hand and then tugs me towards the door.
Tally pulls me firmly down the hallway, until I see the rest of my crew all pushing their way into Amara’s room. It’s only when I see them that I can take a deep breath and rebuild the walls around my emotions that keep everything locked away and makes me the perfect first mate. The fierce pirate.
With one more large gulp of oxygen, I walk into the room. At the same time, Tally drops my hand.
I’m not sure what hurts the most, seeing Amara awake but beaten and bruised, one eye barely open with Mabel clasped closely to her side. Or the loss of heat and comfort that Tally’s hand brought me.
Everyone has tears in their eyes, so mine go by unnoticed. Even though I think they are for a completely different reason than everyone else's.
Everything feels drained and wrung out as I walk back to my room.
Amara’s awake, Mabel is glued to her side and taking care of her. She’s awake and alive. And looked so damn happy when she looked at Mabel that it stung. She’s never looked at me with even a fraction of the emotion she was sending directly to Mabel.
My walls are still tightly in place, no one would even suspect I give a shit that my Captain is awake. But inside, I’m a mess. I need to sleep. I need to cry.
I need to fucking scream.
I stomp into my room, only to be stopped from slamming the door when a delicate hand slides across the worn wood. Tally quietly closes the door before retaking my hand and dragging me onto the bed.
I don’t have the energy to fuck now. My pussy is drier than a desert. But I also don’t have the energy to fight her as she pulls me towards the bed, in an attempt– I assume– to continue what was started earlier before we were interrupted.
My brows crinkle when she lays flat on her back without undressing and pulls me down to curl beside her, my head perched on her chest.
One arm wraps around my waist and the other wraps around my head to play with my hair.
“Get your emotions out. You’re safe here, no one can see you. Let it all out.”
Tally’s voice is soft, nothing like a command, yet my body follows it as if it was one.
The tears I’ve tried to hold back all evening fall.
Within minutes, her clothes are drenched from my tears as I fall apart on her chest. She does nothing but comfort me. Her hand alternating between massaging my scalp and playing with my hair. The arm around my waist is a weighted reminder to keep me grounded.
She isn’t fazed as I fall apart, each shard breaking over and over until the parts of me are completely unrecognisable.
She just holds me close.
And when sleep finally welcomes me into its dark grasp, Tally is still holding me tight and leaving little butterfly kisses on my head.