9. Chapter 9 - Rae
I counted it a victory that I only had to turn up the TV once to cover the boisterous swearing outside.
Drew and Zach were both reasonably handy, but I should have probably volunteered to grab my drill and help.
Most of my tools were back at the shop, but I kept a few things in the back of my car in case I needed to go troubleshoot a system on the water.
But it was nice to have someone do something for me for once.
After you became known as the computer geek, the houseplant whisperer, or the boat mechanic, you turned into tech support for your family and friends.
“What’s for dinner?” Tae looked up from the game that had made him oblivious to Drew’s arrival.
“What do you guys feel like?”
I’d really thought adulthood would be more pizza and ice cream and less grocery shopping and figuring out what to feed myself every day until I died.
My repertoire was pretty basic. The galley on Sailor Swift didn’t lend itself to complicated meals.
Crackers and cheese were my friend. Not an option I could offer Tae without a boatload of Lactaid.
“Pizza?” Hana asked hopefully. “With you and Zach, we can even get one with real cheese! ”
Tae’s eyes sparkled. “I don’t mind getting a pizza all to myself. Then I can get anchovies.”
I wrinkled my nose. “What ten-year-old kid likes anchovies?”
Tae pointed both thumbs at his ribcage. “This one.”
“Okay. I’ll call in an order, and we can go pick it up. What do you like on your pizza, Hana?”
We debated toppings and options before I grabbed my cell phone and stuck my head outside, spotting a new light and camera, but no Zach or Drew. Walking around the house, I found them at the back, Zach handing up tools to Drew on the ladder.
“Zach. Drew. I’m ordering pizza for dinner. What will you have?”
“None for me, thanks. I’ll go home and eat with Anya.”
Zach grinned, his dimple flashing. “Whatever you and Hana-banana want is fine with me. I want my girls to be happy.”
He said it so sweetly, I believed him. It was only pizza. And drowning was just an extended bath.
“Are you sure you want to leave your future in the hands of a six-year-old?” I asked.
His grin didn’t falter. “I’m already putty in your hands, Dawkins. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”
Drew muttered something I couldn’t hear. Zach scowled. “I can hold this ladder, or I can have a clumsy moment and ‘accidentally’ knock it over. Your funeral, Drew. Dawkins would never rat me out. She likes me better than you.”
My lip twitched. They kept their brotherly squabbles in check during SAR calls, but the rest of the time, roasting each other was fair game.
Drew turned to me, brow arched. “That true, Rae-by-cakes? Do you like my little brother better than me?” He fluttered his lashes, playing up his appeal.
It was hard to believe Drew was the same grouch who used to avoid chit chat, sticking strictly to necessary facts on rescues.
Falling for Anya had set his silly side free.
“I’m taken, but I can help you do better than him if you want.
” He paused, tilting his head as my face flushed.
There was an edge to Drew’s teasing that I didn’t quite understand.
Anya probably told him Simon and I were through.
Drew was the last man I thought would try to matchmake for me.
Was his offer about helping me or about torturing Zach?
“There’s no one better than me for Rae,” Zach rushed to say, his expression harsh, fists clenched as he glared up at his brother.
His dark gaze swung to mine, sharp and unguarded, pinning me in place. Time stopped, my breath seizing in my chest. There was no room for pretense in the way he looked at me – no careful charm, no easy humor to soften the edges.
Zach’s claim may have been clumsy, but his expression was utterly raw.
Stripped bare. Like the words had been ripped from the dark recesses of his heart.
Not the light and sweet side of his nature, but the depths he kept hidden.
The competitive nature created by a lifetime with three siblings and the instinct to assert his place before someone else swooped in.
Drew hopped down from the ladder, landing lightly, a smug grin tugging at his lips. “My work here is done.”
Zach blinked. He shook his head as if snapping himself out of a trance. If Drew intended to push his brother to the breaking point, he’d succeeded.
“We’re all done here. Maybe call in the pizza? I can go pick it up if you want.”
Zach’s voice was husky, sounding strangled to my ears. Like he couldn’t quite believe he’d said what he said aloud .
I was still struggling to process his assertion that he was the best man for me. He’d been unwaveringly sweet about Jia’s deployment, offering to help with the kids. Did this mean he forgave me for the lies about Simon? For exaggerating our relationship?
I was barely ready to admit that I’d used Simon as a shield. From life. From my family. From love. With Simon, I was safe. He didn’t touch my heart. Our relationship had a purpose, but heart-pounding, soul-stirring, risk-it-all love wasn’t it. We were only friends. Co-conspirators.
And I’d pushed Zach away to make it happen. To keep up the pretense. Now that the barrier between us was down, he was already pushing my boundaries. Staking a claim.
Part of me was eager to stake one right back. To not let this chance at happiness slip through my fingers. I’d repressed my feelings for Zach for so long. Had they faded away, or just gone dormant, waiting for their moment to strike?
He was willing to let the subject drop. But was I? The specter of ruining our friendship for good haunted me. But the whisper of something more, of what we could be together, drew me forward.
Two big steps brought me toe-to-toe with Zach. My chest heaved, bringing in gulps of air. He stood still, like a wild thing caught in the headlights of a passing car, sure the danger would pass if he could just wait it out.
But, dammit, I’d waited long enough. Turning predator in a flash, I threw my arms around his neck, going up on tiptoes until my mouth was a hairsbreadth from his.
Lightning flashed in his brown eyes. Goosebumps pebbled, scattering across my skin. We were fully clothed. Not really kissing. He hadn’t even touched me, and it was the most attuned I’d ever been to another human being .
“Did you mean it?” Was that my voice? Thready and rough. Too much emotion keeping my vocal cords taut.
“There’s no one else like you, Raelle Dawkins.”
It was all the invitation I needed. I surged forward, kissing him as if my next breath could only be drawn from his body. Rough and deep, exploring in wonder, he drew me closer, and I sank into his kiss. Heat flashed, lighting my skin from within, until I felt like I’d burn from the contact.
A slow clap brought me back to myself. I blinked. Zach looked just as befuddled as I felt. Like it could be Thursday, June fifteenth, 2055, and I’d feel like I led a life worth celebrating, even if all I did was kiss Zach Fenwick like that.
Clap. Clap. A throat cleared behind us. “Forgot my drill.” Drew chuckled. “But it looks like you’re the one getting—”
“Don’t finish that,” Zach barked.
Drew’s laughter hung in the air. He scooped up his drill in one sure move and backed away, hands up.
“—A new nickname,” Drew finished once he got his laughter under control.
“Rae-by-cakes, you’re right. That nickname is too babyish for you.
Especially if you’re kissing him.” He threw a thumb toward his brother.
He stroked his chin. “I’ll have to come up with something good,” he teased.
“Right after I tell the rest of the fam what I just witnessed.” His grin widened.
“‘Bout damn time. Good night, you two. Remember you have impressionable children in the house.”
“I thought you said you were leaving,” Zach growled softly.
Drew’s eyebrow lifted slowly and deliberately as he backed away.
I patted my hot cheeks. My palms were warm too. Not cool enough to bring any real relief. To be honest, most of me was on fire.
“Don’t mind him,” Zach said, his dark eyes earnest. “We good?”
“Much better, and I’d honestly need that reminder about impressionable children,” I admitted.
Zach grinned, his dimple flashing like a well-aimed shot to my heart, hitting its mark every damn time. He brushed a kiss across my cheek. Even that innocent touch sent another flare of heat rocketing through my system.
“Call in the pizza, and I’ll go pick it up.”
“Sure,” I said faintly, standing in the back yard as he walked toward his truck. I admired his broad back and his confident stride.
He honked goodbye, bringing me back to myself.
I scrambled inside, yanking the refrigerator door open.
Cold air cascaded over my heated body. I let my forehead drop to a bag of salad at the front of the shelf.
The cool plastic eased some of my fever, but the real cure was currently driving into town to bring back dinner.
“Everything okay, Aunt Rae?” Hanna chirped. “You’ve been standing with the fridge open a loooong time. Mom yells if we do that.”
Chagrined, I forced a smile for the little girl. “Thanks for the reminder. I was just testing that the salad is still good.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Salad is never good. It’s gross.”
I chuckled. Kid wasn’t exactly wrong.
“Vegetables are good for us.”
Then again, I’d had enough vegetables and enough restraint to last two lifetimes.
As reckless as it was, Zach had just given me the most fantastic kiss of my life.
Scratch that, I’d kissed him . I deserved more pizza and cake in my life.
Zach was definitely cake. Chocolate. With cream cheese buttercream.
Maybe a passionfruit jam in the center. Something unexpected but delicious.